The Now
by S. Oliver
Summary: What if you had a second chance at love? Modern AU Reincarnation Merlin/Arthur  Warnings: Dark and Sadistic Themes, Torture, Underage sex, Self-harm, Minor/Major Character Death, Oblivious Merlin/Arthur Prequel to: The Now: Underworld
1. Chapter 1: Reunion

The huge white doors engraved in gold, when opened, revealed what seemed like a miniature house. What engraved the door lined the ceiling, too, and just about everything else in the room. And yet, it was not the owner's pride of joy. It was merely one room in a mansion of at least fifty like it, save Merlin's secret favorites: the library, his haven, his bedroom, and the kitchen, and—that was about it. Merlin had been happy at first, moving from the slums of his old life to the riches of his new, but that was quickly scattered as he'd realized just how selfish and ignorant the rich could be, their fancy parties, their expensive boats and, their complete disregard for the people that they ripped off or stepped on to get to the top.

"This is where you will be staying," said Richard, who was the cold-hearted owner of the mansion they stood in. He walked inside of the large room, the one lined with gold, and the one Merlin held no particular secret love for. "This is your living chambers. When you're not cleaning the house or tend to the yard, you will live here. It's completely equipped with a kitchen, two bathrooms, two bedrooms, and a living room. Each room has—"

Merlin stopped listening. He knew it all. He knew most details of the fifty rooms in the mansion, unlike Richard, who only bothered with his own study, bedroom, and the rooms his staff were lodged. Richard held no reverence for Merlin's secret favourites. He barely held any reference for Merlin himself. Merlin couldn't help but feel sorry for the Pendragon family. Richard had completely destroyed their company, tossed them into poverty, and then, adding insult to injury, offered them a job as their maids because they absolutely needed it. It made Merlin sick to his stomach.

Merlin and Richard were very different. Step-father and step-son, Richard loved money, and Merlin hated it. He hated the 'Introduction Ceremony' his step-father put on every time a new pair of hands were hired to help around the mansion. He hated how pretentious it made him look for being related to the man, hated the fact that a pocket full of money placed his worth higher on the social food chain.

Uther Pendragon was the first to approach. He held out his hand. Merlin, looked at him, then his hand, then him again and extended his hand in return, giving Uther a less than proud hand-shake. The second to approach was Uther's wife, Ygraine. She gave a delightful curtsey and then extended her hand. Merlin took it with pleasure, he always enjoyed when people acted their class and showed respect, it was a mixture of classy and distinguished and it gave him a sense of belonging, like a mutual agreement that they're both respecting one another.

Uther looked around with a tint of irritation on his face. "My son, Arthur, should be here soon, I don't know where he's retreated to," A sad look fell on his face and he eyes drifted to the floor, "He's been least keen on this change, he was used to being on the other side of the proverbial golden spoon, as one might say."

Richard chuckled at the remark and Merlin leaned back against the wall, finishing his sandwich, bored and consistently agitated, he spun around and walked out the door.

* * *

><p>Arthur drove up to the extraordinary large house that he was to be staying at for the next few years. He never was on this side of the fence and the humility was almost ground-shaking. He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach, all of the things he had planned to do with his father's money, when he had inherited it, were supposed to be life-changing, not just for him, but for the people he wanted to help, the community where he grew up.<p>

He took his box out of the very broken down car and walked up the many steps to the front door. He rapped quickly, trying not to drop the box he was expertly (so he thought) balancing.

He heard the door open and looked around the box, in front of him stood a young man about five and a half feet tall. His hair was short, dark, and slumped gently over this face. Arthur glaired with irritation. _So... this is the boy who's dad completely made my life shit. _

"Hi, I'm Merlin."

Arthur said nothing. Merlin stared at him for quite some time, expecting some kind of response. Merlin's eyes we're locked onto the blond boy's body. Feeling a sense of familiarity and an essence of passion wash over him. That blond hair, those lips, those teeth, those _eye-_

"Are you going to move?" Arthur asked finally. Merlin shook as the harshness of Arthur's words and the place his mind was just in forced a slight alarm from him.

"Oh yeah," Merlin responded, stepping out of the way and letting Arthur pass into the hall, "... sorry" he said under his breath.

* * *

><p>Arthur carefully unpacked his things in his new room. His eyes gazed over his own bookshelf, his own computer, tv, stereo. He was happy that, at least, he had all the pleasures of his old life, while he may not be rich he could at least enjoy himself. As soon as he was done unpacking his things, he walked over to his own personal bathroom (something he didn't even have in his old home) and brushed his teeth. He couldn't get Merlin of his mind, however. Maybe he was too mean, or maybe he was too blunt, it didn't matter, however, because Arthur hated him and his family and everything they stood for, taking advantage of your fellow man so you can make a pretty penny. Arthur smiled into his tooth brush.<p>

Arthur laid in bed for only a few seconds before falling asleep, his mind restless and his dreams vivid:

Arthur was sitting on his throne. He saw many people in the hall in front of him, sitting and eating, enjoying themselves. Flowers filled the room and he felt the cool wisp of the twilight air on his face. He was so happy, but he couldn't tell why. Arthur knew he was dreaming, or his dream self thought so, but his mind couldn't process that. Everything in this world was so real. The soft feel of silk across his chest, the scent of freshly cooked meat and stew. He could hear the gentle roar of the town outside of the castle windows, a town he knew nothing about, but would give his life for.

He turned to his right and saw, beside him, on his own throne. Merlin. _Merlin? _

Merlin turned to him, and held his chalice up, deep pagan text was engraved decoratively into the chalice and it was filled with delicious wine, unprocessed, like Arthur was used to.

Arthur smiled at him. At that moment, he was the happiest he had ever been. He felt himself get lost in Merlin's eyes. Felt all of his pain and anger wash away into the Autumn eve.

Merlin stood up, his royal robes mimicked Arthur's, red and beautiful. "A toast." he yelled. The room quieted to a soft rumble and Merlin continued, "A toast to the best king that Camelot has ever seen, and to the best friend and lover I could ever have. To Arthur!"

"TO ARTHUR!"

There was a roar of cheering and clapping. Merlin looked behind him at Arthur, who gazed back longingly, the rims of his eyes tinted red as he tried to contain his emotions.

* * *

><p>Merlin was in awe at the blond boy. It had been a few days since they moved in, and Merlin barely had enough courage to go downstairs in his presence, let alone talk to him. Every time he wanted to saysomething to Arthur, when he passed him in the morning to the computer lab in his home for school (Merlin hated public schools) or on his way to the bathroom, he couldn't. He didn't know why.<p>

Merlin entered the kitchen. Arthur was moping the floor and Merlin was doing his best to walk around the places where Arthur had already walked. Arthur seemed to pay no attention to the fact that Merlin was there and continued to mop in silence. Merlin pulled a pitcher of kool-aid from the fridge and turned around to face Arthur, hoping to be able to start up a conversation.

"So... d'you like it here much?" Merlin asked finally.

Arthur looked up at Merlin with a half-glare half-scowl. "Sure..."

Merlin was surprised at the rudeness, but figured maybe Arthur just had a long day. "Do you want a glass of kool-aid?" Merlin asked.

Arthur looked up again at Merlin and laughed, then resumed moping. Merlin was appalled. He was just trying to be nice, what did Arthur have up his ass? He began walking over to Arthur to give him a piece of his mind.

Kool-aid went everywhere. The container held almost five liters and a wave of red liquid poured over Merlin and all over the white tiled floor. Merlin stared at the ceiling as he tried to gather what happened. Merlin sat up in the pool of juice and looked at Arthur, who's mouth was hanging open.

"Do you have... any idea... how long... it takes... TO MOP A FLOOR OF THIS SIZE?" Arthur yelled. Merlin looked down and saw that the entire kitchen floor was red and it even began to seep into the carpet of the hallway. Merlin stood up and brushed himself off. "Sorry..." he said, blushing and looking away.

"Sorry..." Arthur laughed into the word, "First your dad undercuts my dad," "Step-dad..." Merlin corrected. "Right, step-dad _sorry, _anyway," Arthur continued, "and makes him go bankrupt, then you insist on plaguing me while I'm trying to work and just, can you please just leave me alone?" Arthur looked into Merlin's eyes with an insistent glare of anguish.

Merlin was taken aback by Arthur's rudeness. Merlin crossed his arms in front of him. "You don't have to be such an insufferable prat, you know." Merlin said bluntly, "I was just trying to be nice and you... whatever." Merlin finally said, and walked out of the kitchen, dripping red all through the house.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Merlin had tried, yet again to gain the attention of the stunning young lad. He had hoped that maybe he would warm up to him, maybe just a tad.<p>

No. Such. Luck.

"Do you insist on pestering me every chance you get, _Mer_lin?" Arthur had whined. He was whipping down Richard's car with a foamy soap. Merlin had offered to help wash the car with him, as a gesture that he wasn't as useless as his father was, that he really wanted to get to know him, but Arthur, being the obnoxious prat that he was, refused any help from someone as "spoiled" or as "low-life" as Merlin Bane.

"I'm not trying to pester, I'm trying to help!" Merlin cried. He tossed his arms down, irritated.

"You want to help?" Arthur asked. He picked up the hose and placed his finger at the end of it, creating a taut spray of water. "Run. It will please me." And with that he turned the hose to Merlin who was already running towards the house. Arthur smirked as he watched Merlin's arse toss around in his shorts. Arthur could feel himself twitch at the sight of it, a unique sensation traveling through his groin. He shook his head at the thought and returned to cleaning the car, hopefully Merlin wouldn't annoy him anymore.

* * *

><p>The rest of the week consisted of awkward glances and them both doing the best to avoid one another. Richard made crude jokes at the Pendragon family behind their backs, how tasteless. Richard was more of an arse than anyone Merlin'd ever met and Merlin hated Richard even more because it was his fault that Arthur hated him so much. Merlin tried to say something when he wasn't feeling stupid or awkward but he couldn't help but find his tongue caught in his throat. Arthur <em>was <em>out of his league.

Merlin was a little heartbroken, he didn't understand how Arthur could hold him accountable for what his stupid step-dad did. He felt anger rise in his chest. It wasn't his fault, he didn't even _LIKE _the guy, and here Arthur was implicating that he was just like him, that he would do the same things.

Merlin sat on his bed, holding his pillow tightly, even though Arthur was so mean, Merlin couldn't help feel attracted to him. He felt a rush of sorrow fill over him, something inside him hated the fact that they were like this. It was strange considering that he wasn't the type to get hung up on someone not liking him. Merlin sighed and laid back onto his bed, letting his mind wander away with him.

* * *

><p>Merlin was watching Arthur clean the windows at top of the house from a ladder. He knew it was creepy but he couldn't help feel a sense of guilt. He wanted to apologize and maybe even be friends or something, he didn't know. He sat in the gazebo in the yard and watched Arthur over the top of his book, he was doing his best not to be obvious but Arthur was so far away it wasn't like it mattered.<p>

Merlin's eyes drifted to the clouds of the spring sky. He felt his mind ease and he imagined what it would be like to soar, to spread wings and drift off into the open day. He felt air pass under his arms as he envisioned the life of a simple bird, soaring as high as it could, feeling the life of the air, the power of its flapping and the sharpness of its wings as it continued its journey into the open.

Arthur looked down at Merlin. _Look at him. _Arthur thought _He looks so comfortable, not a care in the world. _He signed and returned to wiping the fresh coat of cleaning solution he had just applied to the window in front of him. It was only moments later that he looked down at Merlin again. He was so far away but it still felt as if he was right next to him, talking to him, smiling at him, kiss- Arthur felt his leg slip as he stumbled backwards into the empty air.

"Shit!" Merlin looked up to see Arthur mid fall from the second story window. A split second later he heard the inevitable crack as Arthur hit the ground. Merlin stood up in shock, his body paralyzed by what he just saw. He felt his body tremor and his eyes felt hot and irritated. A split second later he was running over to the unconscious man laying flat on his back on the flower bed, motionless. Merlin leaned down and sat beside Arthur while dialing 999 on his phone, tears falling from the sides of his eyes in horror.

* * *

><p>Arthur hasn't had a headache like this since he went to his cousin, Morgana's, secret sweet sixteen where they both got extremely drunk and made out – which was weird to both of them so they never spoke of it again. Arthur's eyes slowly opened to a dark room with a television gently showing an infomercial about some type of knife that could cut through anything. Arthur continued to look around the room. It seemed like a hospital, but he doesn't know why he's there. His eyes reach the window and the small chair below it. Merlin.<p>

Arthur sat up slowly. He felt his back ache and looked to his right hand, which was wrapped in a cast. He raised his hand to his head and felt the bandage that was around it. Looked to his left hand he checked his watch. Two days, two days had gone by since he last remembered anything. _What happened? _He thought. His mind was blank, whatever it was, it must've been bad. His back, legs, head, hell, his entire body ached. He looked over at Merlin again. He was gently snoring

Arthur laid back down and slipped back into his dreams.

Arthur lifted his sword in triumph. He looked at the battle field. His loyal knights, his friends, they stood with him. He saw the fallen bodies of his enemies litter the war-zone.

"Impressive, sire." Merlin said.

Arthur spun around. His eyes locked with Merlin's and he felt fire grow inside him. He walked forward and placed a hang on Merlin's shoulder.

"You know I couldn't have done that without you, Merlin," Merlin blushed at the compliment, he stepped closer to Arthur.

"None of us could have done it without you either, you clotpole." Merlin said gently, his hand resting gently on the front of Arthur's armor.

Arthur leaned in, feeling the heat of Merlin's flesh, the fire from his eyes, and the breath of his body pushing goosebumps out from underneath Arthur's skin, their lips we're so close.

* * *

><p>Merlin sat up in his chair. He looked over at Arthur who was engorging himself on a bowl of grapes and a salad. His right hand in a cast and awkwardly trying to fish meat and carrots from the bowl.<p>

"Arthur!" Merlin exclaimed, "You're awake!"

Arthur reluctantly looked over at Merlin. "Yes, I – I'm... fine." he said coldly. He looked back to his bowl, and continued to scrape his food around, suddenly uninterested in eating.

Merlin's smile dropped from his face. He looked down at the floor, at his shoes.

Arthur noticed the change in shade on Merlin's face, he felt bad about being so mean. "What happened? I don't remember anything."

"You fell... from the second story window's while you were cleaning." Merlin responded, he looked around the room and then back to Arthur, and with a little pride continued. "I... I found you and called for an ambulance, your parents we're here a few times but you were sleeping."

Arthur's eyes squinted as he tried to remember the incident. He remembers cleaning... the a slip? He felt light as a feather for a split second then... nothing.

"The doctors said you were lucky, could've easily died." Merlin finished. He felt good about himself, maybe this could be how they connect, maybe Arthur would see that he wasn't anything like his step-dad.

"Well... I suppose I should thank you for that, eh Merlin?" Arthur said without looking up from his food.

"I dunno, You don't have to... I was just... doing the right thing, I guess." Merlin responded, obviously flustered. His cheeks bore a bright red blush and he turned away from Arthur in a bad attempt to hide it.

Arthur sighed. The dream, this incident, he didn't understand anything, he doesn't even _know _Merlin, but something inside him can't stop thinking about him. _NO! _Arthur thought _Merlin is a spoiled brat just like I was, his father ruined us, I don't need to be associating with him. Ever._

Arthur looked up from his food at Merlin, who was playing with the laces on his hoodie. Merlin's pale fingers gently gnawing and kneading the strings that fell from the side's of his neck. Merlin's chest just barely visible but enough to give Arthur's heart a race. Arthur's heart machine began to speed up and beep faster.

Merlin looked up at Arthur who looked ridiculously uncomfortable. "Are you alright?" He asked?

"Of course I am, I just wish you weren't here is all." Arthur stated dryly.

Those words stung Merlin like a colony of bees. He looked down at the floor and began to inspect the dirt between the tiles. He looked back up at Arthur, his eyes we're glazed with irritation.

"Fine," Merlin said coldly, he turned away from Arthur and let out a deep frustrated sigh, "I'll leave."

Arthur watched as Merlin walked across the room and out the door. He slammed his head back into his pillow, feeling a sharp pain race across his head. As soon as he was sure no one was looking, he dropped his hands into his gown. Thinking of nothing but of the pale boy who just saved his life and how he just wished he'd have let him die.


	2. Chapter 2: Remembering

The doctor looked at Arthur oddly before flipping through his clipboard of papers and charts once more, and then he looked back to Arthur again. Merlin, Richard, and Uther were in the room. Merlin didn't know why he was here, or why Richard had insisted that he tag along. Merlin had confessed many times before that he and Arthur weren't mates but Richard wouldn't here of it. They all, save for Merlin, were watching carefully as the doctor consistently shot back and forth from his charts to Arthur. This repeated until Arthur became _really_ irritated.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or...?" Arthur said, perhaps a little too hastily. He cleared his throat and looked nervously up at the doctor, who was _still _eyeballing his charts.

"Well," the doctor started, a hint of bewilderment and confusion on his tongue, "from what the police have said about the fall, you shouldn't even be close to recovering - even the x-rays show that your arm was completely broken, but now its almost healed. It's only been a week! I haven't seen anything like this before, but I'm not one to argue -"

Arthur stared at him peculiarly but said nothing. When his eyes down to his right arm, he knew that he felt almost no pain inside the cast, whereas last week it felt like his arm was going to fall apart inside of it. He looked up at the doctor, then to his father, to Richard, and then to Merlin. His eye was caught there for a second, like a fish that just got a way, the tug of something strong, of something powerful. Merlin's eyes. They were so -

"Well, basically, the tests show that you can go home today. I would recommend at least a week of bed rest and at least a month before you start using that arm to do anything serious. If you have any problems or experience any worsening in pain, swelling, or fever, you call me right away, day or night, understand?"

Arthur's eyes came up at the word "understand". He hadn't really heard what he had said, but he nodded anyway. His eyes migrated around the room, trying his hardest not to look at Merlin.

"Thank you, doctor," Richard said. He gave Arthur a sympathetic look before facing the doctor to shake his hand.

"Anytime," the doctor replied, and he shook Richard's hand in return before walking out the door.

Uther walked over to Arthur and wrapped his arms around him. "My son, I'm so glad you're safe." He pulled back and looked Arthur in the eye. "Richard has agreed to pay all medical expenses," he said, and turned around slightly to nod at Richard. "Come, let's get you home. A proper rest is what you need right now."

Arthur could only nod in agreement.

* * *

><p>They forced Arthur to be wheel-chaired out of the hospital, even to his distaste. Merlin followed behind, impatient as Arthur gimped his way into the car. Merlin slid in beside him, and there was an uncomfortable lock of eyes, which quickly ended with Arthur coughing and looking away, and Merlin blushing intensely.<p>

The rolled up to the house a few hours later, the day slightly chilly but comfortable. Richard and Uther helped Arthur into the house and into his room, where they carefully laid him on his bed. Arthur felt pain swarm through his taut and sore muscles, but he relaxed quickly as the cool mattress enveloped him.

Richard spoke up. "Arthur, I'm so sorry for what happened, but I would like you to know that Merlin will be at your service until you're fully healed."

Merlin looked at him in surprise and Arthur looked at him like he was mad. Arthur and Merlin exchanged glances of disgust and confusion before Arthur spoke against it.

"Sir, please, that's not needed," Arthur pleaded. He wanted this to be as painless and as simple as possible, and he didn't think that having Merlin as his own personal servant wasn't the correct way to go about that. He glanced over to Merlin who looked like he was either going to cry, or throw up - or both.

Merlin began to open his mouth but Richard lifted a hand to preemptively silence him. "Please," he said, "I insist. Merlin will be at your hand and foot. Won't you, Merlin? Unless, of course, you don't want to go to on that trip in July like you had planned, hmm?" Richard leaned into Merlin a little and Merlin sighed and threw his hands in the air, leaving the room rather dramatically.

"Well, remember, if you need anything, just give him a call. Here's his number." Richard handed Arthur a small piece of paper, obviously ripped from a piece of printer paper. On it was Merlin's room number, his cell phone, skype number, and email. Arthur looked up at him, then to the paper, then to his dad, then back to the paper. He didn't know what he wanted; this could be a great way to exact some revenge, or maybe just an excuse to have Merlin arou -

"Now if you'll excuse me," Richard stated, almost out of place. He exited the room almost as dramatically as Merlin did.

_Great__. _Arthur thought. _I __have __to __deal __with __him __more __than __I __need __to__... _He sighed and picked up a book from his bookshelf, and decided to lay back and try to ignore all of the terrible things Merlin's family had managed to bring upon him.

* * *

><p>Arthur fell to the ground. When he looked to his stomach, he saw blood. When he looked around him, he saw that the room was filled with the bodies of his friends. His knights. He looked around, again, for...<p>

Merlin?

Arthur struggled, but he managed to make it into the hall of the castle. He walked for what felt like hours, feeling pulled. Needed. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to find Merlin, he _had _to find Merlin. He had to know he was okay.

Arthur entered the room above the castle, into the attic. There, on the floor, was the Court Physician Gaius, dead. He couldn't remember anything, he was so scared.

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted.

No response came. No _I__'__m __right __here__, __love._or, _What __are __you __yelling __about __you __obnoxious __clotpole__? _There was nothing but the wind against the castle and the gentle burning of the fire in the room.

Arthur fell to the ground, defeated, tears streaming down his face. He looked around before gently shutting his eyes.. He felt his life drain from his body, siphoned like water from well. The shadows of the room began to fold inwards on him, his mind unsettled but foggy, his heart racing but still, his eyes seeing but blind. The only sense that told him truth was the fleeting warmth and the hungering cold.

He _was_ cold, so cold.

* * *

><p>Merlin woke up to the sound of his phone going off. He twisted around to the alarm clock behind him. 6:30AM. <em>Seriously<em>_, _Merlin thought.

He opened his phone and read the text message and feeling irritable, he got up and slowly walked down the hall towards Arthur's room. When he got there, Arthur was facing away from him, apparently nose deep into a book, but his eyes snapped up to see Merlin standing there, staring at him with a glare that could pierce steel.

"Can you get me some... some water? Merlin?" Arthur asked politely. He met Merlin's gaze and Merlin's eyes softened. Arthur couldn't help but remember all of his dreams, the ones where he was in love with Merlin, where they were happy. Arthur reached over to his shelf and picked up a clear crystal glass where he then held it out to Merlin. "Please?" Arthur asked again.

Merlin couldn't help but smile. Something about this seemed so pure and perfect. He extended his hand and grabbed the glass. "Sure, of course. I'll be right back," Merlin said quickly.

Arthur sighed as Merlin left the room and put his face into his hands. He placed the book on his lap and laid back into the bed. What was he doing? He could feel something... something between him and Merlin, something he couldn't control, or understand, and he wasn't even sure that he wanted to understand.

Merlin returned a few minutes later with not only a glass, but a pitcher of water and various packets of water flavoring that he could find through the kitchen cabinets. He handed Arthur the glass and then held the packets up like they were something to be proud of. "I got you lemon, cherry, watermelon, grapefruit, orange, and blue raspb-"

"Blue raspberry," Arthur said quickly, interrupting Merlin. "That's my absolute favorite flavor of all time."

Merlin's eyes widened in excitement. "Me too!"

Merlin poured the packet into the glass and stirred it for Arthur, who was oddly staring not at what he was doing, but at Merlin's face. Merlin blushed with embarrassment and handed Arthur his glass. "Is there anything else you need?" Merlin asked.

"No... that's all," Arthur said, taking a sip from the delicious glass of liquid Merlin had made. "Thank you."

Merlin smiled and turned around to walk away.

"I'm sorry..." Arthur mumbled. Merlin turned around to see Arthur staring at his blanket. His eyes were heavy with guilt and sorrow as he brought his gaze up to meet Merlin's eyes. "I – I blamed you for everything that happened, I – I don't know why I did and I was wrong to but... there's something about you, Merlin. I don't want us to be enemies."

Merlin's face lit up like the morning sun and he blushed even harder than before. "I don't want to be either," he said. "Though. you still acted like a spoiled prat dollop-head."

"A... Dollop-head..." Arthur said slowly. "Well, at least I'm not an _insufferable __twat__,_" he added conversationally, emphasising.

Merlin was going to say something incredibly witty and slick but he was caught by Arthur's eyes. They were so... blue... and big and beautiful, and the contrast with his hair – he couldn't help but be mesmerized.

"Hello, Merlin, Earth to Merlin!" Arthur said mockingly, waving his hands, trying to break Merlin out of his transe.

"Oh yeah, sorry was just... thinking..." Merlin replied.

"Well, like I was saying. Do you wanna... g – go somewhere? With me? Uhm... Later today, yeah?" Arthur sputtered out.

"Well, yes! Of course, sure!" Merlin said ecstatically, feeling his heart leap into his throat.

"Good," Arthur said. "Make sure you look presentable, which means comb your hair." Arthur chuckled. "I don't go on dates with just anyone, you know."

As Arthur stood up, Merlin's heart almost stopped with that word: Date. He was beginning to shake, and Arthur was walking closer and closer to him. Merlin looked up into his eyes.

"I am very picky about who I want a relationship with, because, I don't like to waste time, I'm not looking for a fuck," Arthur carried on, curling his fingers to run a lock of hair behind Merlin's ear. Merlin's skin broke out in goosebumps. "I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with - I know its silly but I can't help it, I want to love and to be loved."

Merlin looked around the room, feeling embarrassed. When looked back up, Arthur was so close to his face.

So close.

His breath.

His face.

The gentle stubble on his chin.

It was all so perfect, so beautiful, everything was just - perfect.

Merlin swore he was dreaming.

Arthur swore he was dreaming.

* * *

><p>Merlin woke up, covered in a thin layer of sweat. He looked over at his clock. 4:30 AM. It <em>had<em> been a dream. Merlin's eyes began to water. He felt so foolish. Of course Arthur wouldn't want to date him. Of course he wouldn't like the same drinks he did or notice him or want to be with him or – _god __damn__it__. _Merlin leaned into his -

Arthur woke up, covered in a thin layer of sweat. He looked over at his clock, 4:30 AM. It had been a dream. Arthur's gaze shifted to his window, outside the moon was beginning to set and he saw the glitter of stars in the sky. Of course it had been a dream, he thought, just like the others. Merlin didn't like his favorite drink, Merlin didn't care about him - Arthur had made sure of that. Arthur had planted the seeds of destruction that he needed because he knew that nothing good would come out of a friendship or if Merlin was his boy -

Merlin couldn't help but cry at this point. He felt so alone and cold. He never before had a feeling like this, like disaster, like everything was going so wrong and there would be no way to fix anything. The tears grew cold on his face. He was sitting shirtless on his bed. The white sheets reflected the sheer isolation that he was in. Arthur was the was the wrinkled sheets, always moving and folding away, and Merlin was always chasing -

Arthur couldn't help but lay back down into his bed. His stomach was dense with the lead feeling of dread. He never before had a feeling like this, like catastrophe, like everything was going south and there wasn't anyway to change anything. He cuddled into his blanket, a few tears leaving his eyes and rolling into the pillow. He felt his isolation excel and consume him until he was a sobbing mess into his pillow. He didn't understand anything anymore. It was just _Merlin__ - _he didn't even _know _him, but that dream it was so -

Merlin got up and walked into his bathroom. He filled the sink with warm water and splashed some on his face before bringing himself to look at himself in the mirror. He felt so self-conscious about his face. Those pointy cheekbones, those large elephant ears, his scrawny texture, his ugly matted black hair. Merlin couldn't stand the feeling of being so small, so horribly small and so weak. He pulled out a small black case from underneath the sink and opened it. He removed a scalpel he stole quite some time ago and held it to his upper fore arm.

For once, seeing red wasn't so bad.

Arthur continued to lay in his bed. He was calming down now, sure that what he was feeling was just a ploy by his mind to find someone. He had been alone for so long, surely this was just his subconscious trying to trick him into being in love?

_I__'__m __infatuated__,_ Arthur thought. _It__'__s __nothing__. _Arthur pulled out his iPod and quickly scrolled for his new favorite song, something that would probably make him feel worse but better in the morning. Turning Tables –

"By Adele," Merlin whispered to nothing except his iPod. Merlin had wrapped his arm. Fifteen slices. Fifteen jolts of pain followed by rushes of euphoria. Fifteen layers of hate and abuse. That's how many it took to forget Arthur for just a second, to feel nothing but elated, to make everything feel as if it was right in the world. He put his ear buds in, and fell asleep to his favorite artist. The only woman other than his mother who could comfort him in the long tundra of teenage angst.

* * *

><p>"Arthur. Arthur, wake up."<p>

Arthur opened his eyes. It was daylight. Merlin was standing by his bed. The light was dawning through the curtains that Merlin had pulled back, letting in more light than Arthur would ever want in his life time, let alone so early in the morning.

"It's time to get up, sire" Merlin said, a grin stretched from ear to ear. He looked down upon the shirtless (and pants-less and undergarment-less, but Arthur purposefully slept that way, ever since - )

"Sire! _Sire_! SIRE SIRE SIRESIRESIRESIRESIRE!" Merlin droned on like the town idiot.

Arthur sat up in his bed, annoyed. He threw a pillow at Merlin in an attempt to get him to shut up. "Alright alright, already," he wined. "But I just fell asleep - "

"Like five minutes ago," Merlin finished the sentence for him. "It's what you say every morning, yes. Now get your arse up."

Arthur laid back down into his bed. He'd be damned if Merlin was going to tell him what to do. He felt something move around him, weight awkwardly shifted around and the blankets lifted up and then a hand and -

"Mmng!" Arthur groaned through his teeth. He opened his eyes saw the covers beneath him bobbing up and down. He felt the heat around him. He laid back and hissed as Merlin skillfully worked him over. Arthur grabbed the sheets and bucked his hips, his morning issues never ceased to leave him, and Merlin never ceased to relieve them. Arthur's thighs and groin became tense. One, two, three bucks of his hips and felt himself let go into Merlin.

Merlin crawled up from underneath the sheets and smiled at Arthur, swallowing audibly and grinning again. Arthur chuckled and felt Merlin's length against his leg.

"Merlin, is that a candlestick in your pocket? Do you know what the price is from stealing from the king?" Arthur joked.

"Sire, I would never steal from you, but then again you also know that these pants have no pockets... though they do have a very convenient opening in the front of them," Merlin said cockily and rather breathless. He leaned in. Arthur closed his eyes, waiting for the kiss, waiting to take Merlin into himself, waiting to show him just how much he loved him.

* * *

><p><strong>Beep<strong>**beep****beep**

Arthur's eyes shot open at the obnoxious sound of his alarm. 8:00AM. He sat up gently, being careful not to abuse any of the muscles that had been damaged in the fall. He looked over at his desk and picked up his phone, where inside was the paper that Richard had given him.

_Merlin__. _

He couldn't keep living like this. What was going on? Why did he feel this way? He closed his eyes in disgust and threw his phone across the room. It smashed against the wall and then landed on the floor, battery popping out and sliding somewhere off yonder. Arthur sighed into his hands and laid back down.

Merlin woke up gently. His arm was sore, but that was to be expected. He looked at the gauze. It was a little pink, but it looked like he hadn't bled through over night. He got up and quickly changed into a long sleeve shirt and his favorite scarf. _Today __is __going __to __be __a __good __day__ - __it __has __to __be__, _Merlin thought. He strode out of his room like he was the king of the world, even though his heart was telling him he was nothing more then a spec of dirt on the ground.


	3. Chapter 3: Bonding

With the heat of battle filling his mind, Arthur felt his pulse increase. His eyes were on the quiet forest that surrounded him, taking in all of the - well, the lack of birds, insects, and the lack of life in general, and it made him feel increasingly uneasy. Merlin was quietly following behind, being very careful not to trip over his own feet and give away their location.

Arthur could feel the rumbling of the crowd of bandits resonating with the metal of his boots.

They'd picked up his trail.

He quickly grabbed Merlin's hand and rushed him into the wilderness, looking for a place to hide.

They ran and ran for almost three miles before finding a small niche under a rock to hide under. They waited silently.

The roar of rumbling continued but the bandits, at least forty or fifty of them, ran over and straight past them. Arthur looked over to Merlin, who was looking back at him.

"Well, that was close, sire, but I do believe we'd have had an easier time if you hadn't slowed us down," Merlin said casually.

"_Me__?_" Arthur exclaimed. "You were the one who kept tripping over each branch and leaf we walked over!" he scoffed.

Merlin smiled at Arthur, and Arthur lifted his head to meet Merlin's eyes. He loved those beautiful eyes. Arthur grabbed the loose cloth at the front of Merlin's shirt and pulled him in for a –

* * *

><p><strong>beep<strong>**beep****beep**

Arthur woke to the same annoying sounds droning from his alarm clock, as he always did. The sunlight gleaming through his window was blinding, forcing him to roll over. He was too tired to care about the beeping or the fact that, yet again, he had dreamt about a medieval magical world where him and Merlin were partners or boyfriends or _something _strange like that.

Two weeks had passed since his accident, and he felt like it was time to get up and start working towards getting back on track. It was time to get his mind off of the useless things he had been thinking about lately - and by useless, he meant Merlin.

Merlin's day, however, was probably one of the best days of his life. Today, he was set to vacation to America to see his Uncle Gaius and hopefully get some sun in while seeing all there was to see about the States. Merlin had packed his bag three times over the previous night, doing his best to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything that he needed. The last time he'd been on a trip he hadn't forgotten anything other than his cell phone, wallet, computer, and tooth brush, which made it even more obnoxious when his mother had had to drive him back to the house _and_he missed his flight. But not this time. This time, Merlin was prepared for anything.

" - and that is why Arthur will be going with you," Richard finished. Merlin's mouth dropped open as he felt his heart sink into his chest. Why the fuck would his stupid sodding step-father do something so insanely stupid? He had to spend _two __weeks_ in Chicago with an extraordinary attractive yet grossly misguided man who wanted nothing more than to have Merlin fall off a cliff and preferably into a vat of hot seething oil and be eating and chopped up by a troll king.

Arthur rolled his eyes in disgust. He wanted to protest, he really did, but he was the one who had gone to Richard; he was the one who'd wanted to get more work in and not feel useless, and like the saying goes: "No good deed goes unpunished."

Arthur retreated back into his room and packed his things, prepared with his iPod and a box of ibuprofen, and then he was ready to handle whatever the insufferable brat could throw at him.

* * *

><p>Getting through security was easy enough.. Merlin and Arthur were able to quickly board the international plane with ease. In a direction towards Arthur's distaste, the seats were right next to each other, in first class, almost completely isolated from everyone which made it extremely hard for Arthur to find a legitimate reason to ignore Merlin.<p>

Arthur was finding that hard to do lately. Merlin would walk around the house in a pair of only skin tight boxers, leaving almost _nothing _to the imagination, and the light black hair that radiated from his ankles to his thighs. His beautiful chest that, while not buff, sported two deliciously symmetrical and slightly toned pecs. _And __that __stomach__! _Arthur would think to himself: flat and smooth with just a little hair creeping up from the only place Arthur wanted his mouth to be.

Merlin, too, was trying his hardest to not look at Arthur, but when he was no less than three feet away and not another stranger in sight, well - that made things extremely awkward. Merlin had tried his best over the past two weeks to get Arthur's attention. He really, really wanted them to be friends, or be able to at least tolerate each other, but now it seemed like all Arthur was going to do was make Merlin's life hell. Merlin couldn't _help_ but obsess over him though. Arthur liked to work shirtless, outside in the heat, and the way his body directed the drops of sweat, the way his chest was layered with a thin layer of hair, the way Arthur's back and chest would mold and twist as he stretched and lifted and - Merlin pulled his iPod from his bag.

He needed to get his mind off Arthur.

"Oh no!" Merlin yelled irritably. He threw his iPod back into his bag and crossed his hands over his chest, pouting like a small child. Arthur couldn't help notice him in his distress and, against his better judgment, he leaned over to ask what was going on.

"My idiot self decided to not charge my iPod last night and now I'm stuck on this plane on a twelve hour fucking flight with absolutely _nothing _to do." Merlin sighed and sank back into his seat.

Arthur felt a little guilty. He really wanted to laugh at Merlin and tell him it was good that he would have nothing to do and that maybe that would teach him that his father couldn't be such a prick, but that quickly dissipated from his mind as he realized how immature and irrational that thought was. He was starting to come to his senses about the fact that Merlin was definitely not his step-father, but that didn't mean that Arthur didn't still hold a grudge.

Arthur pulled an earbud from his ear and handed it to Merlin. "Here," he said.

Merlin's eyes went from the earbud to Arthur and to the earbud. He had an unintelligible look on his face. This, of course, made Arthur extremely irritated. For the first time in almost a month he was trying to be _nice_to the guy and he was acting like he'd just handed him poison.

"Fine," Arthur said coldly after the long pause. "Forget I said anything." He placed the earbud back into his ear and looked out the window, lucky enough to have the window seat.

Merlin sank deeper into his chair. He hadn't meant to be so rude, but he was just so shocked that Arthur was being – well – _nice_. It was refreshing, but it left as quickly as it came. Merlin couldn't help but stare at Arthur, trying to figure him out.

* * *

><p>Arthur tossed and turned into the cold plastic of the aircraft wall. Merlin had been lucky enough to get the last pillow from the stewardess and was now, of course, sleeping like a baby while a small fan from the over head blew a gentle breeze on his face, gingerly picking up locks of his hair and letting them drop back onto his forehead. Arthur couldn't help but stare; something was just too perfect about the scene that laid in front of him. Those precious cheeks, that forehead, the contrast of his black hair against his milky skin. It was times like this where Arthur couldn't help but lose himself, couldn't help but forget all of the horrible things Richard has done to his family - to him - and he couldn't help himself but remember the dreams where he and Merlin were together, couldn't help but remember how much he lov-<p>

Merlin opened his eyes to find Arthur a little too close and a little too real. He almost shrank back in surprise when he saw Arthur staring at him. His mind raced, why was he staring? What did he want?

He noticed that Arthur didn't have a pillow. Maybe... "Do you w-want my pillow?" he stammered.

Arthur looked at him oddly. Why would he want his pillow? "What?"

"You were staring at my pillow... weren't you?" Merlin asked.

Arthur's look of bewilderment slowly became a shade of irritation as he realized how transparent he was being. His mind darted left and right for an excuse as to why his eyes were locked onto Merlin's skin for just a second too long, but he came up with nothing.

Luckily, a quick burst of turbulence shook the plane, giving Arthur a few more seconds of precious time to come up with a lie.

"I... did... want your pillow," Arthur said slowly after a good twenty seconds of awkward silence. _Really__, __Arthur__, __really__, __that__'__s __all __you __could __come __up __with__? __You__'__re __about __as __smooth __as __gravel__._

Merlin's puzzled expressions faded into pity and he sat up a little bit and handed Arthur his pillow. Merlin was tired of fighting, tired of always being on edge when he was around Arthur, even if it meant him having no music and no pillow - anything was better than being ostracized and alone.

Arthur took Merlin's pillow and placed it behind him and then he handed Merlin his iPod. "I think that's a fair trade," Arthur said insistently; he wanted to make sure Merlin couldn't deny the gesture he made. He was tired of always feeling antagonistic, and this plane ride was far too long to begin pushing buttons.

Right?

Arthur couldn't help but bury his face in the pillow. The scent of Merlin was buried deep into the fabric, as if the material was woven of Merlin's own flesh and blood itself. It was a hint of wintergreen and a splash of vanilla with Merlin's own scent, and though Arthur swore this was the first time he had ever really smelled Merlin, he couldn't help but _remember _it.

Merlin didn't show it, and he was careful that he didn't, but he was _overly _joyous about the fact that he had Arthur's iPod. Music was everything to Merlin, and he had hoped that by listening to Arthur's top played songs he could find a connection, or somehow establish a bridge between them and really get to know Arthur through the songs that he used for joy and the songs that he used to cope. He smiled and reclined into his seat, letting sleep and Arthur's music take him away.

* * *

><p>Arthur had never felt better. He reclined into his throne, revelling in the cool summer day. His subjects were in the hall with him, some standing guard, others talking over plans for a new town. Arthur slowly stood up. His legs and back didn't keep up with him like they used to. He walked down to the table, and smiled down at his advisers. They, too, had grown old with time.<p>

Arthur turned around to face his throne. He looked at his seat, then to Merlin's. It had been almost three years since death had stolen Merlin from Arthur, three years since the attack on the castle, three years since the blow Merlin had taken in his sleep from the witch Morgana, but that was okay, the kingdom was safe, and Arthur – well – he would be soon to follow.

Arthur took out a small piece of glass and walked off quickly to a different room in the castle, where he was alone. He lifted the back of his shirt and tilted the glass behind him. It was hard, but he managed to find what he was looking for. A small symbol Ѳ rested on the small of his back, barely visible to anyone who wasn't looking. Merlin had tattooed it there, many years ago, and he'd told his king, "If either of us dies, this will carry our souls together through time, and we will _always _find each other, no matter what, just so long as you don't give up on love – or on me."

A few tears splattered against the floor as Arthur remembered his raven-haired prince. He slumped into the corner, and sobbed into is hands.

* * *

><p>The remainder of the flight consisted of Merlin feeling very elated about how similar their music tastes were, and Arthur gently snoring into his pillow.<p>

The lights blinked on the plane, signifying for them to fasten their seat belts, and a very tired Arthur was woken by a very annoyed stewardess for the _third_ time that he had to "return his seat to a locked and upright position."

Merlin hated this part. He hated landing in a plane. Something about the feeling of descending with the shaking of the cabin and the deceleration of the engines made his hands sweat.

The plane began its decline and Merlin's knuckles went white from how tightly he was gripping the arm rest. Arthur looked over at Merlin, who had broken out in a thin cold sweat.

"Are you okay, Merlin?"

"Uhm – yeah sure," Merlin responded quickly, trying to get his mind off of the fact that the plane was hurling down towards the ground faster than his own body's terminal velocity, and the fact that if even one wheel decided not to work they would be hurled into a fiery oblivion that would be rivaled only by a school massacre or a hospital being burned down.

The back wheels of the plane made contact with the ground and Merlin's hand quickly leapt over and grabbed Arthur's. Arthur had more than one thought to let go, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to. It was weird and his hand was cold and clammy but he _needed _to comfort him, even if it was something as simple as coming to a stop on a plane.

The plane came to a slow drive and Merlin's hand began to unclench. Arthur's hand was red from the pressure and he shook it a little, trying to return blood flow.

Merlin quickly pulled his hand back as soon as he'd realised what he had done. Arthur, however, seemed to try to keep it there for as long as he could. Confused and getting over the anxiety of the landing, Merlin felt the overwhelming need to apologize.

"I'm sorry... about your hand, I didn't meant to - well I mean, just... sorry," he said apologetically. He seemed more embarrassed than sorry.

"It's fine," Arthur replied soothingly. Merlin took notice of how soft his face was, like he was intentionally trying to comfort him. "It was just landing, right?" he half asked half stated. "You weren't more scared while we were in the air?"

Merlin handed Arthur back his iPod. People were beginning to exit the plane, and being first class, they got to exit first. "Well," Merlin began while collecting his things, "if you knew anything about the engineering of this tube of metal, you'd know that you're much more likely to die on landing than at any other time. Being in the air, that's simple, least stressful part of flying, but landing, if a pilot comes in a little too sharp, BOOM!" Merlin expanded his hands, mimicking an explosion. "We're all dead."

Arthur gazed at Merlin with interest and amazement. Not only was he apparently educated in the structural engineering of the plane but that he was also being _completely_ _serious_. Arthur tried to contain his laughter but with how seriously Merlin was looking at him and how tired he was, he couldn't help but burst out.

Merlin, of course, took this the wrong way and shifted his eyes down at his shoes as a familiar tingling of heat filled his cheeks. He felt awkward and embarrassed and very much like a fool. He quietly took his bag from the overhead and did his best to not look Arthur in the face, who was still laughing like a madman.

Arthur noticed Merlin sulk away. "Merlin! Merlin!" Arthur yelled. "Wait for me!" Arthur quickly threw his bag over his back and scurried after him.

Merlin half turned his head. "Why?" he asked, a hint of pain in his voice. "So you can laugh at me again? I know how you must see me..." He turned his head back around and continued walking.

Arthur placed his hand on his shoulder and spun him around. "Look," Arthur started, "I didn't mean it like that."

His eyes locked with Merlin's. Arthur could feel heat and energy flow from Merlin, into himself. He felt like doing nothing more than just talking to Merlin, like taking Merlin into his arms and kissing him, telling him that he didn't think that Merlin was an idiot or something like that, that Merlin was really someone that he wanted to talk to, someone that he really wanted to spend his time with, someone he really just waned to be around. "I was laughing because you're so _weird_and nothing like I was expecting you to be," Arthur continued as they continued walking towards the plane's exit.

Merlin turned his head over his shoulder. "So – is that a compliment or...?"

They took their first steps off the plane and into the hallway going up to the terminal, and Arthur chuckled. He couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't resist - he needed Merlin, needed him like air, like water. This was his chance, and he wasn't going to let it slide.

After spending a few seconds pretending to think about it, he said, "It's definitely a compliment," and he chuckled again. He lifted his hand and have Merlin a few friendly pats on the back as they approached the bright light of the entrance to the terminal.

Merlin looked outward onto large building he was stepping inside. The sun was shining through the skylights, and hundreds of people were walking left and right. He could feel the energy of the crowd, feel it fill him with excitement, and he looked back to Arthur and smiled, and Arthur couldn't help but smile back.


	4. Chapter 4: Longing

"Yes, mum... Ye – yes mother... uh hu—no... MOTHER YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!"

Arthur stood on the curb impatiently with his thumb stuck up in the air like he had seen on American movies while Merlin spoke to his mother, who hadn't stopped talking to him since they'd landed.

"Taxi!" Arthur yelled. "TAAAAXXXIIIEEEE!"

Finally, a taxi quickly pulled up to the curb and Arthur and Merlin frantically jumped in and did their best not to make too much awkward contact.

"Whea tew?" the taxi driver asked.

"Uhm, The Star-Crossed Hotel, please," Merlin said as he was fumbling to put his phone back in his pocket.

Arthur leaned against the window and looked up. The sky was amazing here. He had been wealthy but he had never been to a major city like Chicago before, and he watched as hundreds of people shared a side walk, as planes flew overhead, as thousands of people populated stores and streets and stayed out of each other's way while making it all look completely chaotic.

Just as he watched them, Merlin watched Arthur's eyes reflect the day. The beautifully warped buildings and the people in the reflections were only paralleled by the deep blue that seeped out from Arthur's iris. For that moment, the whole world but Arthur was black and white; he was the bright moon on a dark night.

Arthur turned to see Merlin staring at him from across the cab. Their eyes locked and for a split second, the world stopped... until Merlin turned away to look out of his own window, thereby breaking the connection as he blushed fiercely. Arthur sighed, and as he turned back to his own window, a small smile crept across his face.

* * *

><p>The hotel was relatively close; it only took ten minute to get there from when Arthur had hailed a taxi. Merlin and Arthur pulled their things out of the trunk and began to walk to the huge hotel that Merlin's dad had booked. After wheeling their luggage in, it was taken by the bus boys and pulled away.<p>

"Welcome to the Star-Crossed Hotel," said a very pretty concierge. "Do you have a reservation?"

Merlin pulled out two tickets and handed them to her. As she scanned the tickets, her black hair fell over her eyes and she rumbled ever so slightly, but just enough for them not to miss it

"And can I see some I.D?" she asked.

Merlin pulled out his wallet and so did Arthur and together handed her their passports. She handed Merlin's back with his keycard but looked somewhat distressed.

"I'm terribly sorry Mr. Pendragon," she began, "but your room is out of commission, and we don't have a single other opening until the day after tomorrow." She looked up at Arthur. "We can relocate you at our other Hotel across town if you'd like? I'm so sorry, but that's really all I can do."

"There's not another single open room?" Merlin asked, astounded.

"No, I'm sorry. I really wish I could be of more help," she said apologetically.

"No, it's fine," Merlin said, and he turned to face Arthur. "Do you mind sharing a room with me?"

Arthur's face went bright red. _Of course I don't mind you idiot, I want nothing more than to sleep in the same bed as you and feel your warmth and -_

"Arthur?"

Arthur spent a few seconds pretending like he was thinking, trying not to be obvious about it. "I guess not..." he finally said.

Merlin's face lit up as he smiled and he swivelled back to the concierge.

"Excuse me miss, I know it's not your fault but I do want the hotel manager to know that I am Merlin Emrys-Bane, the step-son of Richard Bane, who is the CEO of Camelot Pharmaceuticals, the largest and most powerful multi-billion dollar company east of the Atlantic, and unless you want some extraordinary bad PR and a _very _irritated guest with mad blogging skills, I suggest that you tell him not only will we be expecting a refund of Arthur's ticket, but free room service, pay-per-view movies, and as many extra pillows as we desire. Understood?" Merlin's eyes had narrowed, and he was glaring at a very intimidated lady.

"Yes, of course Mr. Bane, right away," she said as she shook and picked up her phone to dial the hotel manager.

Merlin's smile was instantaneous and he looked over at Arthur, who looked – irritated, instead of happy. Merlin shrugged it off and walked to the elevator. Arthur followed.

"You know," Arthur began as Merlin hit the "Floor 13" button, "you didn't have to take advantage of her like that."

Merlin turned to look at him. "Are you kidding? Did you know that a hotel could charge as little as $20 a room and still make over 100% profit? Our rooms were $750 a piece per night, for the next two weeks," he said as Arthur's eyes widened, who clearly hadn't realized how fancy a hotel he was staying at. "The fact that they didn't even bother to notify us means that they're understaffed to try to greed even _more _money into their pockets, which is hundreds of jobs that aren't being put out. Have you seen the economy in the States? It's absolutely irresponsible of a company, and completely outrageous that they didn't even send us an e-mail, let alone notify us at the door."

Merlin looked angry and crossed his arms over his chest, but Arthur couldn't help but feel an extraordinary amount of respect and admiration for him. It was a very mature way to think about things and the fact that he thought of it so fast and on the go and _god _it was_ so_ _hot_ when Merlin was intelligent. Arthur couldn't help but stare, mesmerized by his polished ideals, captivated by the mixture of intelligence and sheer aesthetics of Merlin. He was almost _too_ good to be true.

The elevator door dinged and opened to reveal a large corridor. The rooms were extremely spaced out with only one room every 10 yards or so. Merlin walked quickly as they passed door after door.

"... Twenty-five... twenty-six... aha! Here we are! Room twenty-seven," Merlin exclaimed. He took the keycard that the concierge had given him and slid it into the door. **Beep Beep**

Merlin opened the door to the very large room and Arthur's mouth immediately dropped in awe of how large this place was. The entire west wall was covered in windows, which left a beautiful view over the city and you could see for what felt like miles. The Sears Tower, Lake Michigan, tens of other skyscrapers and buildings — it was incredible.

Merlin picked up his suitcase from by the front door and carried it back to the room. Arthur followed to get his suitcase, but when he looked around he was embarrassed and didn't quite know where to put it.

Merlin popped his head out from behind the door to his room. "Uhm," he started uncertainly, "you can either sleep on the floor in my room, on the couch out here, on the floor out here, in the tub, the kitchen, or you can share a bed with me."

_Or you could share a bed with me._

_A bed with me._

_With me._

_Or you could share a bed with me._

_NO! It's a trap! _Arthur's mind yelled, and yet he couldn't get the thought of being in only boxers, cuddled up to Merlin's back, feeling the warmth of Merlin against his chest, feeling their legs intertwine, the scent of Merlin hair in Arthur's nose as he nuzzled and kissed and bit and –

"Arthur?" Merlin asked again. Arthur snapped back into reality. Who was he kidding? Merlin wasn't even gay, probably, and all sleeping in the same bed would do would create awkward contact and probably give Arthur the biggest erection in the universe which would probably kill Merlin and then where would he be? A murdering pervert with no job in Chicago and without a way home. He'd have to live on the street!

"ARTHUR!" Merlin said again, louder this time.

"Uhm, I'll sleep out here on the couch," Arthur replied.

"Oh..." Merlin said, trying to hide his disappointment. He'd been _really _hoping Arthur that was going to sleep in the same bed as him, but then again, who was Merlin kidding? Arthur was _not _gay and even if he was, he was out of Merlin's league.

* * *

><p>It took about an hour for them to unpack and get settled in. Arthur fell leisurely on the couch and looked out the window. It was incredible, the view, and he watched eagerly as the sun gently set on the horizon of the city, the light changing from yellow, to amber, to honey. Arthur couldn't believe anything that beautiful could exist - well, second best to Merlin, of course.<p>

Merlin felt the hot water run over him. He was lucky and had beaten Arthur at rock-paper-scissors and was able to get his shower first. Merlin let the heat roll over and into him, down his back, running against his chest, into his thighs. Merlin dropped his hand. He felt Arthur step into the shower, turn him around, gently lower himself and started to work on Merlin. He felt Arthur's tongue dip, grind, and slide against him pulling him in deeper. Merlin placed his hand over his head, gripping the tiled wall, his hand beating faster and faster. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as his mouth opened, gently moaning Arthur's name.

Arthur knew he didn't have much time. He lay sprawled out on the couch, his pants down around his thighs. He wondered about Merlin, about his shower. He imagined walking in there and seeing Merlin lathered up. He imagined planting kisses on his back and neck while slowly rubbing circles on Merlin's chest, going lower and lower, right until he had a firm grip. He could see himself turning Merlin around, kissing down his neck, down his torso, down, down, down, until he was level with Merlin, all of Merlin. He could feel Merlin inside of him. Arthur slammed his hand down and felt his orgasm over take him and moaned Merlin's name.

Arthur pulled his pants up. Merlin put his robe on. They both took a second to think about the other man in the other room, briefly before shame and guilt corrupted them, and they moved on, trying to get their minds off of each other. Arthur dropped his face into his hands and sighed. It was silly, really, thinking about Merlin that way. It would _never_ happen. Merlin, meanwhile, looked at the fading cuts on his arm, tears formed at the edges of his eyes and he wished he had something sharp, something to cut the pain away.

* * *

><p>Arthur turned gently and placed his arm over Merlin. The night air was cool and the moon washed in through the castle windows. Arthur had a weird dream, something about buildings and flying metal beasts. It'd been so strange.<p>

Merlin rustled in his sleep, his snoring briefly interrupted by his body's unconscious movements. Arthur smiled and raised his hand to curl a lock behind Merlin's ear. He loved how beautiful Merlin looked as he slept, how soft and fragile he was. Arthur laid back in bed, his dream in small fragments now, scattered in his mind like stars in the sky.

Merlin rolled over and wrapped his arm around Arthur, waking up just long enough to whisper "I love you," into the kings ear.

Arthur woke up to sunlight piercing the windows of the room. He could feel the warmth of the rays, kissing and caressing his face.

He sat up slowly and felt a sharp pain rush through his back. _Damn this couch, _Arthur thought. He gently stretched and contorted as he tried to move his back muscles out of insanity and back into commission before walking lazily into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of milk to get ready to wake up and start the day _baby-sitting_ Merlin.

He stood there for a minute thinking back to his old life where he, too, was wealthy. He thought about how he hadn't really done anything with it, albeit he was young and stupid but that was no excuse. His gaze wandered to the door to Merlin's room. _Maybe it was a good thing he would inherit the company_, he thought. _H__e'll do a much better job than me._

Merlin and Arthur sat in the very slow moving taxi. Their eyes scanned the crowds of people who were protesting some 99% of something that obviously was important. Merlin was becoming more and more impatient and looked ahead with a scowl, because Gaius had been expecting them an hour ago and at this rate it would be sundown before they even got there. Merlin pulled out his, now charged, iPod and started listening to Adele. She was his favorite lately.

* * *

><p>Finally, almost three hours later, they pulled up to the small stoop of Merlin's favorite uncle, Gaius. Merlin walked slowly up to the door, before massively spamming the door bell. <strong>ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding<strong>

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Hold your horses!" yelled an old man from inside the building. A few clicks and a grunt later, the door opened and a tall white haired man approached them, looking down upon them with interest.

"Well, Merlin..." Gaius said. "It's about time you got here. I know punctuality is not your strong suit but at least you got here before the month was out."

The old man's gaze turned to Arthur, who was standing awkwardly behind Merlin and doing his best not to draw attention.

"And who is this young man?" he said. "He looks far too dignified to be in your party, Merlin."

Arthur chuckled, but Merlin kept his cool. "He is. I bought him on eBay. It said: "Free Blond Super Ninja Soldier's" and well, hell, I couldn't give that up—who wouldn't want their own Blond Super Ninja Soldier?"

Gaius looked at Merlin and Arthur and then asked, "Well... how long have you been dating?"

Arthur felt his face turn bright red and he turned away, trying not to make eye contact with Gaius, but he turned even redder as Merlin said, "About a month now, after I bought him he saved me and two kittens from a tree, then teleported us to Wendy's and bought me fifteen burgers and then told me I was a pretty lady while serenading me in his own song that he wrote just there and then."

Arthur was wide eyed and bright red as Merlin and Gaius stared each other down until a smile broke out on both of their faces at the same time.

"Ahh, Merlin, my boy!" Gaius embraced Merlin tightly and ran his hand through his hair. "I've missed you so much."

_They're both absolutely insane!_ Arthur thought as he twiddled his thumbs behind his back and played with his shirt.

"I've missed you too, Uncle," Merlin said into Gaius's chest. After about a minute's embrace, Merlin pulled back and pointed to Arthur. "This is my personal manservent, Arthur," he said proudly, and he popped a smile that stretched ear to ear as he watched Arthur's face contort with embarrassment and shame.

"I'm his _baby-sitter,_" Arthur corrected. He had more to say, but he didn't want to seem like a jerk in front of Merlin's uncle.

"So it seems," Gaius chuckled, Arthur looked over at Merlin triumphantly just as Merlin looked back at him, smiling, content that Arthur was so quick to get along with his family. Gaius turned and walked into the house with Merlin running up quickly so he could get in before Arthur did and then turned around and stuck his tongue out. Arthur laughed and smiled at Merlin.

Merlin, of course, smiled back.

"So, how long are you staying?" Gaius asked over a cup of tea. Merlin, Arthur, and Gaius were all sitting around a large wooden table that looked _at least_ a hundred years old. Merlin was gently stirring milk into his while Arthur poured an almost inhuman amount of sugar into his. Both of them were nibbling on weird American pastries, doing their best to not offend Gaius but, really, they were horrible.

"About two weeks or so," Merlin answered. "Richard wanted me to get out for once in a while I guess..."

"Ah, perfect," Gaius said reaching into his pocket. "As it turns out, I have two tickets to the Adler Planetarium's _Though the Cosmos_ show. I figured you'd be interested." Gaius raised both tickets into the air. A small picture of a planet was on the front and surrounded by pictures of galaxies and stars.

Merlin's eyes widened with surprise, but then it quickly faded. "Only two tickets?" he said, and he looked to Arthur who looked back at him, surprised. Merlin wanted to go, for sure, but he didn't want to leave Arthur by his lonesome. He looked at Arthur apologetically.

"It's no big deal, Merlin," Arthur said, returning a look that said _it's alright, I'll miss you, though,_ but he actually said, "Go! Spend time with your uncle; I'm sure I can find other things to do around the city." Arthur knew he'd just stay at the hotel and rent porn or something, but he didn't want to ruin Merlin's good time. This _was _his vacation after all, and considering Merlin had scored something fierce on his A-Levels, he deserved it.

Gaius raised a hand to silence both of them. "If you would have let me finish, I have to go to the doctors that day, so I can't go. I figured it'd be a great gift to give you and your – _ahem _– your friend," Gaius said.

Arthur hung on to the way Gaius said "friend". It made him feel vulnerable. He sipped at his tea, hoping he wouldn't be redrawn into the conversation because it was awkward enough being with Merlin and his Uncle with his Uncle having to insinuate things that Arthur didn't really understand.

Merlin snatched the tickets out of Gaius's hand and carefully looked them over. "This is for next week," Merlin muttered, and then yelled, "Uncle, thank you _so _much!" and he leapt across the table to give Gaius a hug.

* * *

><p>After a few hours of talking, catching up, questions about Hunith and Richard and about Arthur and his family, about life, school and the future, Merlin and Arthur walked out of the house. Gaius stood at the door, watching them as they approached the taxi.<p>

"Farewell, Uncle!" Merlin yelled.

"Good bye, Merlin, don't be a stranger!" Gaius yelled in return. "Oh, and Merlin..."

"Yes?" Merlin asked, one foot in the car.

"Try not to do anything reckless?" Gaius half warned, half asked.

"Never, Uncle!" Merlin yelled cheekily, and he ducked into the car, ready to head back to the hotel, eager to begin tomorrow. He looked over to Arthur and sported a huge grin but Arthur looked back at him, puzzled.

"What?" Arthur asked, annoyed that Merlin was awkwardly staring at him.

"Nothing," Merlin responded easily and he turned to the cab driver. "To the Star-Crossed Hotel please."

It was going to be a _great_ two weeks.

* * *

><p>"I'm hungry," Merlin said conversationally in the taxi only a little later. His stomach rumbled and he looked over to Arthur who had a confused look on his face, as if he was pondering whether he was hungry or not.<p>

Arthur turned to him. His face was dark from the lack of night, but he could still make out his cheeks, his lips, his eyes. "I kinda am too."

"Driver," Merlin said, "let us out here, please." The taxi rolled to a stop and Arthur looked at Merlin, puzzled.

"Merlin, you do know we're at least five kilometres from the hotel, right?" Arthur asked irritably. The last thing he wanted to do right now was to get lost in a city and get raped or mugged or killed or abducted or slaughtered by some weird American.

Merlin shrugged. "That's what makes this an adventure, right?" Merlin opened his door and hopped out of the car. Arthur, on the other hand, sat for a second before smirking to himself and following shortly after into the bright city night.


	5. Chapter 5: Confrontation

Merlin and Arthur walked into a large shop, where oddities ranging from Ouija boards to medieval swords and axes adorned the walls.

Arthur loved this stuff; he had been addicted to the Arthurian legends since he was a young boy. He walked up to a large shield that was crafted after the shields that had supposedly been used in Camelo and felt a surge of disorientating familiarity. He brushed his fingers over the fine coat. It was so real and so authentic, and he could see it on his arm as he fought away hundreds of enemies.

"See something you like?" Merlin asked as he came up behind Arthur. He had a huge grin on his face like he had just won the lottery.

"Yeah, but there's no way I can afford this." Arthur chuckled and held up the price tag that read $150.

"Hmm..." Merlin looked up at the ceiling contemplatively before walking over to the cashier. They talked for a few seconds before Merlin pulled something out of his wallet.

Arthur walked to them.

"What was that about?" Arthur asked as the cashier disappeared into the back room.

"I just bought you that shield," Merlin said all too casually, as if it were really nothing important. "And I'm having it delivered to my house so we don't have to lug it through security."

Arthur took a step back. "Merlin! You really didn't have to do that."

The cashier walked back and handed Merlin his card, and Merlin turned again to face Arthur. "I know, but I wanted to. I wanted to thank you for coming and not being such a spoiled prat." Arthur rolled his eyes and Merlin smiled. "It's been almost bearable having you here."

Arthur grabbed Merlin's head and put him in a head lock, nuzzling his hair with his fist.

"You know, Merlin," Arthur said while grinding his fist into Merlin and Merlin squealing uncontrollably, "I could be _so _much worse. Say _uncle_!"

"Uncle! UNCLE!" Merlin yelled, and Arthur let go with a laugh. They both took a few steps back, only to see the cashier looking at them both as if they were completely mad.

"... Right then," Merlin said, embarrassed, and he began walking backwards, awkwardly staring at the cashier before swapping his gaze to Arthur who looked just as embarrassed. Both Merlin and Arthur looked at each other and broke out laughing and proceeded to leave the store as if nothing had even happened at all.

"Brits are so weird..." said the cashier under his breath, and he sat on his chair as he watched after Arthur and Merlin walk down the street, arm in arm.

* * *

><p>After a few hours of shopping, and Arthur reluctantly receiving gifts from Merlin, they made their way home. Merlin had his face stuffed into his ice cream cone with Arthur right behind him, his own nose deep into a bowl of Chili. Merlin turned around and started walking backwards so he could see and talk to Arthur.<p>

It was 3AM, and they were unwittingly being followed by a group who had been eyeing them for hours, now. How could they have known, really?

"You know," Merlin said, his mouth still stuffed with ice cream, "this has probably been the best day of my life."

Arthur choked back on his Chili. He looked forward at Merlin, really appreciating, not for the first time, they time they had spent together. "I agree, Merlin," he responded.

They both smiled at each other and continued walking with the cool summer air on their necks, away from the bright lights of the shops and the restaurants and towards the large tower that was their hotel.

It was so quick that Merlin didn't even notice until it was too late. He felt a sharp object placed at his back just as his ice cream cone fell to the ground and he flung his hands back in defence, but there was a thick arm was around his neck. Merlin's eyes snapped to Arthur, who was also struggling against a man behind him.

"Stop fucking moving or I'll cut you _mother fucking _eyes out!" yelled the masked figure behind Merlin.

Merlin's heart was racing. He stopped moving almost instantly and watched helplessly as Arthur continued to fight back and struggle against the larger man.

"We want every fucking cent you have," said the man holding Merlin. Arthur stared at Merlin in shock, unable to believe he was being robbed.

Merlin's mind raced, strategically trying to find the most efficient way to effectively disarm his attacker, without killing him. He was trained lightly in karate and jujitsu but he didn't know if that would be enough. _He's about five foot ten inches, about one hundred and eighty pounds. The weight on my left shoulder tells me that his right knee is either injured or weak; his balance is off... if I apply just the right leverage I could trip him up and manoeuvre around him. The blade at my back is about six inches from him, being held by his left hand, placed at just the right angle so that if he stabs me it'll hit my kidney. If he punctures my kidney I have about forty five minutes or so before I bleed to death, assuming he just nicks it, it could be a lot less if he gets a deep cut. _

Arthur could feel what Merlin was doing. He _knew_. He was calculating an escape route. "Don't do it Merlin!" he yelled. His eyes were pleading, but Merlin was deaf to his wise words.

"Shut up!" the attacker said, and he struck Arthur in the back of the head.

_Arthur drew his sword and turned around, fending off the attacked by parrying his blow, and he recoiled back and sliced through the bandit's stomach._

_Merlin held out his hand, little bolts of lightning extended across the forest and struck a bandit in the chest. He weaved the lightning around, taking out one, two, three, four bandits._

Arthur flung the masked man over his shoulder and twisted his arm. He felt the bones of his elbow and shoulder twist and rip out of place. The masked attacker landed on his back, unmoving.

Merlin twisted his weight and brought his body back, before leaning into the arm around his neck and sliding under and out. He turned around on a dime and his palm collided with the attacker's throat.

_Arthur pulled out his cross bow, already armed with an arrow and shot it at Merlin, zooming by his head and hitting the bandit behind him square in the eyes. Merlin gave Arthur a smile._

Merlin drew his leg up and brought it down on the attacker's weak knee. Merlin felt it crack and the attacker fell backward.

_Arthur sheathed his sword and turned to face Merlin, his eyes wide._

Merlin watched as the attackers ran off into the darkness before turning around. Arthur was looking at him in surprise, and not with pride or triumph, but with fear.

Merlin looked down to see blood seeping through his shirt and fell to the ground. His knees made sharp contact with the concrete and he slouched forward, thereby exposing the six inch dagger buried deep into his back.

* * *

><p>Merlin could feel heat on his neck. He opened his eyes slowly to see the light of dawn breaking through the window and then stretched his arms up. When he brought them down again, he hit Arthur in the face.<p>

"Ouch, Merlin, watch what you're doing!" Arthur looked down at him. He was sitting against the head board of the bed and reading an old and tattered book.

Merlin turned over and cuddled up to him. "I'm sorry, sire," he said sleepily.

"Merlin, how many times do I have to tell you? It's _Arthur_. You're my prince now. You don't have to call me 'sire'."

"I know, but, it's just – _weird_ – calling you Arthur and not sire," Merlin complained. He rested his head on Arthur's lap and buried his head in the crook in his thigh. Arthur wasn't wearing pants. Merlin liked that.

"Well," Arthur replied, "I guess four years of being my personal manservant does that to you..." Arthur's sentence trailed off. He looked at the opposite wall, thinking of all the times they spent together.

Merlin sat up and leaned into Arthur, kissing his neck. Arthur closed his eyes and stretched his neck away, trying to give Merlin the most room he could. Merlin's kissed and sucked and dabbed his tongue along Arthur's skin, tasting his flesh while his other hand ran circles on Arthur's shirtless body.

Arthur pulled back and looked at Merlin, and he gently leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss to match.

* * *

><p>Merlin felt life flow back into him. His back hurt. He opened his eyes to a dark room, filled with an array of lights that looked something similar to a fair or a boardwalk at the beach. He couldn't see much around him except blobs of black and gray which exchanged outlines as they merged and contorted around him. <em>What... what happened? <em>Merlin thought to himself. He tried to trace his memory back to the last thing he could remember. Arthur... ice cream... Arthur... Arthur... _robbed_.

Merlin gasped and sat up. His back screamed in protest as he looked around frantically, but he ignored the pain. _Arthur, Arthur, Arthur._

There he was. Merlin squinted, but he could see him in the corner of the room wrapped in his coat on a small chair. Arthur. Merlin had never been happier to see him. He felt safe again.

"Arthur... A-Arthur..." Merlin tried to call out to him, but his mouth was dry and he was weak. The pain in his back made it hard to breathe. Merlin gave up. He lay back into the tough hospital bed and let himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p>"So... what now, sire?" Merlin asked.<p>

"Now, we wait," Arthur responded casually.

Merlin picked up his pace in an attempt to keep up with Arthur and asked, "Wait for what?"

"Look, it's none of your business okay?" Arthur said irritably. "It's all royal counsel princely stuff and it doesn't concern you so can you _please _just do your job and leave me alone?"

Merlin looked hurt. He stopped following Arthur and kicked the dirt beneath his shoes. He hated when Arthur talked to him like that and made him feel small - like a fool.

Arthur turned around and looked at Merlin. He couldn't stand how insufferable he was but something about how he was standing, something about how he was pouting, staring at his shoes... He couldn't just leave him behind.

"Come on then, Merlin," Arthur called. "We're going to be late."

* * *

><p>Merlin looked up and smiled. He giddily ran up to Arthur and stood by his side, entering the castle doors.<p>

Merlin woke up to the sound of talking. He couldn't make out the voices but they were terribly annoying and he had a _horrible _head ache. His eyes opened to the blinding light of the day that scolded his eyes. He groaned in response.

"Oi, Merlin!"

Merlin fully opened his eyes and let the room come into focus. Arthur was up against his bed, leaning in close. Merlin could smell his minty breath, the scent of his hair, like lavender tea. Arthur's face was distorted by the morning glaze on his eyes but he could see that Arthur was smiling.

"Oh, my poor Merlin."

Merlin looked around Arthur to see his mother standing behind him, her face red and her make-up smudged like she had been crying. She walked past Arthur and leaned in to hug Merlin, who felt cold against her. Hunith started to sob.

"Mother, it's okay... really..." Merlin said lazily. She pulled herself back and looked him square in the eyes.

"Oh I know, the doctors said you'd be fine but... I mean... I could have _lost _my baby..." she sobbed into a tissue.

"Excuse me."

They all turned to the door. A doctor was standing there.

"Mrs. Bane, can I see you for a moment?" the doctor asked.

"S-sure..." she responded, and exited the room.

Merlin watched her leave and then looked back at Arthur, whose smile faded and looked hurt. His cheeks became red, his eyes already swollen, and his lips trembled as he turned his head away.

"Arthur," Merlin began. "Are you... okay?"

Arthur turned around and walked quickly towards Merlin. He wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Merlin gasped at the contact. _Arthur is touching me, oh God, he's _hugging_ me._

Arthur pulled away almost just as quickly with tears streaming down his face. His nostrils were flared and his hair was messy and sticking up in every direction.

"I... was worried _sick!_" he cried, and tried to regain his composure as he stood. "If I had just let them take the money... if I hadn't tried to be a _hero _then maybe you wouldn't be..." He looked at Merlin, helpless in a white gown in a hospital. He looked at the dark bags under Merlin's eyes, the IV drip hooked into his arm, the heart monitor beeping. "They told me," Arthur continued, "that if I had been just ten more minutes late... that I could have... that you would have..." He was in a full uncontrollable sob and all but collapsed onto the edge of Merlin's bed.

Merlin reached forward and placed a hand on his shoulder. He slowly rubbed Arthur's back and Arthur looked up at him. Merlin didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to even feel. It wasn't his fault. Merlin would have fought no matter what, but he was just happy that they both we're alive and that Arthur was here with him, now, in his hospital bed.

"It's not your fault," Merlin said after a few minutes. "It's the fault of whoever tried to hurt us."

Arthur turned his head away from Merlin as Hunith entered the room, the doctor entered behind her.

"Oh Arthur, good news!" Hunith exclaimed. "Apparently the knife didn't go as deep as the doctors thought, you're almost all healed up!" She was almost jumping for joy. Her tears had dried up and she was smiling, recovering just as quickly as Merlin had seemed to.

* * *

><p>A few days had gone by. Richard was at important meetings all week so he couldn't fly in to see him, but Merlin was feeling much better. Arthur visited him every day, and they talked about everything. American football, <em>real <em>football, the city, but it wasn't until the third day until the real questions starting coming out. It was late at night, almost 11PM and Arthur and Merlin were sitting next to each other in Merlin's hospital bed. The doctors had let Arthur stay since he had nowhere else to go (the hotel had a policy that only guests could stay at the room if the registered occupant was there) and his mother had rented a hotel room nearby.

"How many girlfriends have you had?" Arthur asked, taking a bite of this amazingly delicious snack called Snickers. He looked over and saw Merlin blush and tilt his head down. "So is that... a lot then?" Arthur asked again.

Merlin turned to him, still red. "I haven't had... any... actually..." he said embarrassedly. He gazed up at the television and did his best to avoid Arthur's own gaze. "What about you... how many women have you shagged?"

Arthur spit his coffee back into his cup at the question. "Really Merlin?" he laughed. "Way to be subtle."

They laughed together. It felt good, Arthur thought.

"None," Arthur answered eventually. "There really haven't been any either. I don't know if it was the responsibility or the lack of a public school, but I just never... became interested." Arthur took another bite of his Snickers. _How have I not had one before?_

_So... he's never had a girlfriend, or he's lying, or maybe he really is gay, but I doubt that I mean, I've been so obvious and that probably means he just wants to be friends or something. Jesus fucking Christ, why does it always have to be me, why do I always have to be the ugly one with the stupid ears and the dumb cheekbones and fall in love with people who would never love me back? _Merlin thought angrily. He lifted his hands behind his head in frustration.

"Merlin... what's that?" Arthur asked, pointing to his forearm. Merlin turned in horror as he realized that Arthur was talking about his cuts.

Arthur looked at Merlin, a shade of anger and a tint of sorrow filled his face. Merlin and Arthur sat there for a few seconds before Arthur finally opened his mouth.

"Merlin... do you cut?" Arthur asked bluntly. The look on his face shifted to disappointment, and Merlin found it difficult to look into his eyes. Merlin turned his head in shame. He felt tears well up in his eyes. He felt all of his sorrow, all of his hate, all of his rage flow out. The whole point of those cuts were to keep him sane, dammit, but having them found out, he couldn't take it. Tears flowed down his face as he turned back up to look at Arthur, who was less than five inches from him.

Arthur leaned in and rested his forehead on Merlin's. He lifted his hand and rested it on Merlin's shoulder and pulled him into a hug. "Merlin," Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear, his breath gently tossing the few locks of Merlin's dark hair behind him. "If you _ever _have anything you need to talk about, you talk to me, okay?"

Merlin nodded into Arthur's shoulder and let out a sob. _Of course I would, but how do I talk to you about the fact that I think I'm in love with you? _Merlin continued to cry and Arthur stroked his hair. Their embrace lasted for a few more minutes before Merlin pulled away.

"I'm getting tired," Merlin croaked, his voice raw and hoarse from crying. He looked up to Arthur with a half longing half depressing look. Arthur took this as a sign that he should probably leave him to himself. Arthur turned to get out of Merlin's bed but felt a hand on his arm.

"Will you stay in my bed with me tonight?" Merlin asked hesitantly, and then panicked when Arthur looked surprised. He didn't want Arthur to freak out and think he's gay or be weird so he manipulated the scene a bit with an added, "It just gets cold in here, and I really don't want to be alone tonight, you're like my best friend and I just... need some company. Is that okay?"

Arthur's gaze stretched deep into Merlin. _Best friend. _Merlin looked so broken, so sad. Arthur brought his legs back into bed and laid back beside Merlin, the bed was small but it was big enough for the two of them. "Alright," Arthur replied, "but only for tonight. And it's just because the chair is really uncomfortable. I'd much rather share my bed with swine."

Merlin looked down at Arthur and smiled and Arthur smiled back. Merlin lay back beside Arthur and pulled the blanket up over both of them. Together, shoulder to shoulder, they drifted off into the world of dreams.


	6. Chapter 6: Preparation

"Well, he can't go home yet."

"What do you mean _he can't go home yet_?" Hunith demanded angrily. She paced frantically in Merlin's hospital room, looking just as scared as she was distressed. All she wanted to do was to take her baby home. Her steps increased and as she spun around, Merlin gave her a look of understanding but she wouldn't accept it.

"Merlin lost a lot of blood that night, and his red and white counts are not as high as I would like them to be yet," the doctor explained patiently. "He'll need at least another month to allow for his recovery before he should fly again."

Hunith sighed into her hands before turning to her son. "Baby, I'm sorry."

Merlin looked up at the doctor and then to his mum. He didn't want to spend a month in America, especially when Arthur wouldn't be there with—

"I'll stay with you, of course," Arthur said, and Merlin shot him a bright look of. It was like he was reading his mind.

But Arthur felt like he couldn't leave Merlin here alone. He felt like Merlin really needed him right now, and he didn't care if it made him look _soft _or _gay. _Merlin was his best friend.

Merlin gazed at Arthur and their eyes were locked yet again. He felt the warmth and love flow to and fro between them, as if they had known each other for their lives, as if Arthur was the only perfect person for him. He couldn't help but feel _so _connected to Arthur, like they were soul –

"And of course, he can stay with me."

Everyone snapped to the door, through with Gaius was walking slowly and smooth, as he always seemed to. The old man glanced to everyone in the room, enjoying the shocked look on their faces. Gaius had a thing for being awesome, and he smiled inside, knowing that if he actually smiled it would steal this cool factor he was entirely aware of, and he couldn't have that.

"I'll clear a spot in the living room and you and Arthur can sleep there, Merlin," he said. "I'm only five minutes from here in case anything goes wrong."

"Oh, Gaius! Thank you so much!" Hunith cried. She looked at him tenderly, and then back to Merlin, who couldn't help but think this month wasn't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

><p>Arthur and Merlin entered Gaius's old house, knowing all too well that this time wasn't as cheery as it had been before, and they placed their bags on the floor. Gaius pointed towards the back room, which apparently served as the living room.<p>

He noticed the gold squiggles that plagued the walls, making odd designs that looked familiar. Merlin never really took the time to admire the odd markings on the wall. Every time he had been here he only stayed for tea and some talk, never really looking or watching or noticing how cool this place was.

They entered the room and Merlin looked around again, this time admiring the windows, the couch, the table, the telly, the walls and the odd plants that were perfectly scattered around the room. Something was off, though. The floor...

"Why did you get two air mattresses, Gaius?" Merlin asked before thinking otherwise. His mind soared back into the last two weeks, each night spent with Arthur, watching the telly together, eating junk food, having heart to hearts and then wrestling or arguing about who the better foot ball team was, and of course sleeping together, side by side.

"Well, Merlin, I was under the impression that you and Arthur would want separate sleeping accommodations... unless you both really are dating, and in that case it was my mistake," Gaius quipped, and he almost smirked at how clever he thought he sounded.

Merlin flushed a deep red, and Arthur almost fell over beside him. When they looked to each other neither were able to understand the expressions on each other's faces. Merlin walked over to the couch and sat down, and the feeling of embarrassment quickly faded as Arthur sat with him.

Gaius looked at Merlin and then to Arthur and smiled. "Well, I'll leave you two alone for now. Merlin, make a note to see me before you go to sleep."

Merlin nodded and Gaius left the room.

"So..." Merlin began while picking up the remote to turn the telly on, "what do you wanna do?"

"Whatever you want to," Arthur replied, and he leaned back into the couch and threw his arm around Merlin. Merlin grinned at him and then leaned back, laying into Arthur's arm.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked the tall steps to Gaius's chambers, feeling a sense of familiarity and solace in the walls. He knocked gently on the large wooden door.<p>

"Come in, lad,"

"You wanted to see me, Uncle Gaius?" he asked as he slipped into the room, and he gasped at how pretty it all was. Many colors filled it; the walls chaotic collages of color and design, the spaces filled with books, all marked with a language he didn't recognize—and that meant something, Merlin could read _a lot _of languages.

"Why yes," Gaius replied, pulling him back from his admiration. "Tell me, Merlin," he continued almost immediately, "what have you noticed about your life since Arthur came into it?"

Merlin was taken aback by the question. What was he getting at? He looked at Gaius questionably and cocked his head to the side, clearly not understanding the man.

"I don't quite know what you mean, Uncle?" Merlin finally said after a few seconds of pondering, and he let it hang as a question. Did he think he was in a relationship with Arthur? He really wasn't... or at least he_ thought_ he wasn't... Arthur was really,_ really_ flirty, but that didn't mean anything at all – right?

Gaius sighed. He'd known he had to prepare Merlin quickly, but he didn't want it to be so quick and overwhelming for the boy; he was still only young, despite everything. "Merlin, there's a lot in this life you don't know yet, and there's a lot I need to explain to you, but I can't just yet. It needs to happen in time," Gaius tried to explain. His eyes drifted off to the side, as if he was remembering something dark, something dreadful.

Merlin couldn't take this, all the cryptic bullshit. He loved Gaius but it was _really _getting old. Merlin rolled his eyes in irritation and Gaius could sense that he was losing Merlin's interest and his patience. "Gaius, can you please just tell me what you're talking about?"

Gaius adjusted his chair and reached out his hand.

"Give me your hand Merlin," Gaius said.

Merlin walked closer to Gaius and took his hand. Gaius closed his eyes and Merlin waited.

And waited.

He was so confused as to what was happening, but then he felt a tingling in his hand that stretched to his stomach, up and through his body, and he couldn't help but laugh as it tickled its way into his core until he experienced a surge of light and power flowing through him. His eyes glazed over white and he felt all the knowledge of everything in the world flow into him—every language, every feeling of every person, every episode of every show of every nation, every thought of every person.

Above everything, Merlin felt Arthur. He felt his love, his power, his joy, his being...

Finally, in what could have been hours or no time at all, Merlin couldn't take the power anymore and reacted instinctively, pushing the power back into him—back into reality, into the room, and he quickly retracted his hand. The feeling left.

"Gaius... what was _that,_" Merlin asked, scared. His breath was quick and his heart was beating fast, and in between it all, he felt weak and powerful at the same time.

Gaius seemed to steel himself before answering. "A long time ago," he finally started, "you wove me, yourself, and Arthur into time, and you forced our souls to meet up. And me... I am a spirit of the Old Religion, Merlin. I remember everything."

Gaius got up and began to pace around the room. He ignored at how Merlin was staring up at him, whose mind was all but screaming _what the hell was he even talking about? The Old Religion? What?_

"But that's enough explaining for now," Gaius huffed, "Merlin, just trust me. You are very powerful and you must be careful. Your little healing tricks have gone unnoticed for now, but there are people out there who hunt your kind—who hunt _us._"

_Enough explaining for now! _Merlin thought. Almost impossibly, he was even more confused than he had been before, and yet... Something inside told him to trust Gaius, that he would help him.

"So, Merlin, for the next month, I will train you to control your powers, and you will learn to harness them. But be warned, it will not be easy." Gaius had placed himself in front of Merlin, and he had a serious look plastered on his face. He was waiting for Merlin's response.

"Alright," Merlin said, not having a clue what was going on or what he was getting himself into. He knew there was something special about him, that he had been able to save Arthur's life as he'd fallen, that he'd heal his arm, healed himself—maybe Gaius could train him to do more than just that, and he felt excited at the prospect, like he was Harry Potter.

"Let's begin."

* * *

><p>Arthur felt his body twist and break. Invisible forces were pulling and contorting his flesh and tearing him to his very bone, ignorant to how he screamed and screamed. The room was bright, white paint was chipped from the walls, and torches hanging from the ceiling lit the air with a red haze, ominous with death. Arthur looked forward to see a black figure materialize.<p>

Morgana.

She chuckled and stared Arthur down as she pulled out his hand and began to caress his face, her fingers running over his gentle stubble, his nose, his ears, running everywhere until her gaze turned to his twisted and broken limbs.

"Oh, poor baby, are you hurt?" she asked mockingly and walked circles around Arthur. Her black hair moved as if it were alive against the stagnant air in the room. Her eyes were black and cold—as black as her soul, and as cold as her heart.

Arthur didn't give her the satisfaction of looking her in the eye; he knew what was said, that her gaze was deadly, turning greater men than him to stone, and he refused to chance it.

Morgana whipped out a knife with deft hands and held it to his neck. "You will tell me where Emrys is," she commanded.

"Alright, I'll tell you, please, please just stop," Arthur pleaded. He gave a sigh of relief as the pain stopped and his bones popped back into place.

Morgana looked him up and down, apparently thoroughly pleased, and she leaned in close. Her breath was on his face, abrasive against his stubble.

"P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney." Arthur responded, and a smile cracked across his face.

Morgana's eyes lit with fire. She backed up and her eyes glazed with gold the very moment Arthur felt his body twist once more, felt his limbs break, heal, and then re-break again. He felt his body give in and he screamed.

"You think I haven't seen the future either? The future that you two hold? You think you're _so _funny with your jokes but mark my words, Arthur Pendragon, I _will_ find out who he is, one way or another!" Morgana screamed.

She pulled out a worm from her satchel and walked over to Arthur, it squirmed and twitched in her hand, she held it next to his ear and he felt it enter, he felt it burrow into his ear, he felt blood pour and he felt his mind–

* * *

><p>Arthur yelled and sat up. Sweat ran cold on his face; his heart was racing, his body was sore, as if the dream was real. He looked around the room for the evil witch, making sure that she hadn't come into the real world like his pain did. His breath was hitched with fear and his head was pounding.<p>

"Arthur..." Merlin groaned beside him, "w-what's the... matter...?" he asked, and with his eyes still closed he reached his hand up and rested it on Arthur's bare chest, gently applying pressure and pulling Arthur back down onto his air mattress.

Arthur felt his body calm down. Merlin's touch was intoxicating. He laid back into his pillow and could hear Merlin's faint snoring. Arthur managed to smile slightly; he was spending the month with the boy of his dreams, could this get any better? Merlin's hand was still on Arthur and his eyes began to close, his mind at peace.

* * *

><p>"Again," Gaius yelled.<p>

Merlin closed his eyes and concentrated, feeling his power morph into the air, fill beneath him. He felt it grip him and he began to float. The power was addictive, the feeling of being able to suspend himself, to defy physics, to corrupt and manipulate the existence around him, it made him high. It made him _real._ Merlin tried to hold on to this for as long as he could, but it drained him so quickly.

He felt himself lose grip, lose concentration and he fell to the ground.

"Almost thirty seconds," Gaius praised as he consulted his stop watch. "You're doing very well, Merlin."

"But will it be enough to protect me?" Merlin asked. "From the Purge?"

Gaius sat down on his stool, his face flushed with dread. He looked at Merlin apologetically.

"Sadly, my lad, I don't think I can train you enough. You need to remember into your past lives, feel the power from them. You left yourself much power, so much more than anyone could ever hope to posses."

Merlin looked at Gaius. It had been two weeks since they started training—_two weeks—_and it was going slow. He couldn't stand feeling weak. In their time together, Gaius filled him in on the Purge. It was a vast group of Crusaders who wanted nothing more than to behead the heads of witches and wizards like himself, and Merlin was scared. Really scared. He was so new to all of this, and Gaius had sprung it on him so fast, but Merlin trusted Gaius without a word and he knew that Gaius wouldn't put him up to this if he wasn't ready.

Merlin sighed and closed his eyes, steadying himself to concentrate again. He needed to become powerful, to protect himself, and above all, to protect Arthur. At the very thought, light began to emit from his chest, and it resonated through his eyes, and Merlin allowed himself to let go.


	7. Chapter 7: Misunderstanding

"I think it's about time that I filled you in on your destiny, Merlin."

His breathing laboured and strained, his hair matted and ruffled, and with sweat dropping from his forehead and trickling down his face, Merlin slouched as he tried to regain his balance and fought with himself to stay upright. His magic was still arcing over his body, soaring in and out of his muscles like a Tesla coil.

"Please," Gaius continued, "sit down, Merlin."

The old man motioned his hand to the stool that was near Merlin and sat himself down at his desk before turning to face the boy, an old book now in his hands. Merlin sat before him on the stool, feeling somewhat better now, but still exhausted. He looked towards Gaius, ready to listen intently.

"The Purge started only recently," Gaius started, and his eyes glazed over with an all too familiar sense of pain as he remembered the horrors he'd seen. "It's run by a man whom no one has ever seen. The members of the Purge are special, Merlin; their blood gives them the ability to kill our kind. They, too, are magical creatures, but they are hypocrites. They say that their Magic is a creation to defeat our Magic. Preposterous!" At the word, Gaius slammed his hand down on his book, his eyes wide with anger.

Merlin could only stare and nod slightly as he waited.

"Over the years they have grown in numbers. As a member of the M.A.S.T—which is the Magical Association of Students and Teachers—we've been noticing that many teachers and students, like you and I, go missing, or turn up dead," Gaius said, and Merlin's eyes widened with fear. Was he strong enough to protect himself? "Upon further inspection and help from the police, I discovered that the knife in your back was made of pure silver."

Merlin's eyes expanded even further with shock, his hand instinctively stretching back behind him to feel the small scar of the entry wound.

"I believe it was the intention to make it look like they were robbing you, leaving Arthur alive. I believe they were Drinkers."

Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Someone had actually tried to – _actually fucking had tried to kill him?_ He felt weak and sick. He'd almost _died_. Merlin's palms began to sweat and his body trembled slightly in fear, because of his near-death and Gaius's enemies who were now his own and because of the destiny being forced upon him, but he found it useless to try and calm himself down. Dammit, he needed to remain rational! He needed to stay calm, he _needed _to. They'd almost... they had almost taken him away from Arthur. Merlin shook his head and looked up to Gaius, needing to change the subject, or at very least, move the conversation forward away from _this_.

"Drinkers?" Merlin asked with a quiver still in his voice. "Is that some kinda code name for something they can do?"

"Why yes, Merlin, it is," Gaius responded, sounding a little impressed. "They drink the blood of the creatures they kill, giving them a magical resistance to our magic. I'm afraid it means that when you come face to face with them you'll only be able to physically harm them, at least, as long as your power remains as weak as it is."

Merlin's head dropped in shame. He had honestly been trying for the past few weeks, he really had. He thought he had made a lot of progress, but by the way Gaius was speaking he clearly was not anywhere near as strong as he needed to be to protect himself.

Gaius stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down in front of him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Merlin. You _must_ keep training after you go home. You must get stronger. These monsters are going to find you eventually, they'll track your magical trail, and this time, they won't underestimate you." Gaius looked down to the floor. "I care about you as if you were my own son. I couldn't bear to lose you."

Merlin looked down at the man with affection. He felt bad for Gaius, who feared for their lives. Gaius must've spent his entire life worried about Merlin, worried about if he could face the destiny that he'd always had. Merlin placed a hand on Gaius's head and leaned down, bringing him into an embrace.

"You are so sweet, Merlin, just like I remember you," Gaius whispered. He looked up and kissed Merlin's forehead, before standing up and walking back to his desk.

"I am going to give you something," he said eventually, and he reached into his desk and began to fish around. A few moments later he pulled out a blue pendant. Merlin wasn't trained but even he could see the energy surging inside the trinket.

"This pendant will keep you shadowed for a while. Its barrier is not impenetrable, but it is deceiving, and anyone who doesn't know where you are will not be able to find you, and they'll find themselves searching after a rat. If you ever feel the need to run, put this on before you go."

He extended his hand and Merlin reached out, taking the pendant.

As he clasped the chain, Merlin's gut sank into his ass at the dread which filled him. Something about touching the gem made everything so real, like it wasn't a video game or a book or a story, but that it was real. It was _real _life.

"Thank you... Gaius," Merlin said, his voice hollow and shaking in the night air.

He wasn't ready for this.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked down the steps into the main hall of the house. The thoughts of Gaius's words still echoed in his ears. He was scared, really scared and – Arthur. <em>Arthur.<em>

Arthur was coming out of the living room as Merlin caught his eyes. He turned to face Merlin, a smile creeping along his face as he all but _bounced_ to the other boy.

"Merlin!" Arthur exclaimed "I was looking for you."

He stopped really, _really _close to Merlin—only a few inches away, at the most. Merlin took this time to realize how much taller Arthur was than him, to realize how clear Arthur's skin was, how bright and yellow his hair was, how tight the skin on his neck was... _T__hat neck._

"For me?" Merlin asked after a few seconds of unashamed fantasizing. "What for?" he pressed, his eyes flashing up and down Arthur inquiringly. What was he up to?

Arthur took a few steps back with the same large grin on his face. He waited a few painstaking seconds before slowly reaching behind him to pull out two tickets—the tickets to the planetarium.

"Because, I wanted to know if you still wanted to go tomorrow? Or did you forget?" Arthur mocked a little jokingly. He waved the tickets just out of Merlin's reach.

Merlin felt all his fear escape him, all of his rage and his anxiety—it all just left him. Merlin looked at Arthur and stood there, pretending yet again to be thinking.

"Well... Since Gaius has a doctor appointment, I guess I'd _have _to go with you huh?" Merlin said.

Arthur's smile faded and he looked defeated, like Merlin had just run over his puppy with a segway, and Merlin realized just how stupid of an analogy that was. The diameter of a segway's wheels couldn't go over a bump the size of a puppy, let alone run it over and kill—he snapped out of his tangent thought to see Arthur walking away, his head hung.

"Oi, Arthur," Merlin yelled. He watched Arthur turn around, his face expressionless. Merlin rolled his eyes and walked towards him, placing both hands on Arthur's shoulders he continued, "I was kidding you daft pillock," he said, and watched again as Arthur's face lit up.

"I couldn't think of a better way of spending tomorrow," he added gently, and he pulled Arthur into an embrace.

* * *

><p>Merlin and Arthur stepped out of Gaius's car to face the large building that was the Adler Planetarium. Gaius leaned over and rolled down the passenger side window. "Just give me a call when it's over. I should be back from the doctors in about two hours or so."<p>

Merlin turned around and gave Gaius a smile, a nod, and a wave. "Oh, and Merlin," Gaius added, almost conversationally, "be _careful._"

Merlin nodded again before Arthur took his hand and dragged him away from the car. Gaius sat there for a few seconds before driving off, smiling to himself. _Young love. It's amazing how oblivious they were to each other, just like before... _

Gaius put the car in gear and drove off.

Merlin, meanwhile, felt his breath leave his body as he entered the huge building. It was littered with designs and signs, and he immediately noticed a large sign pointing up the escalators that was for the show, and which was starting in ten minutes. He looked to Arthur, who was still gazing throughout the room, and grabbed his hand to pull him forward. "Come on, Arthur!" Merlin complained. "We're going to be late."

Although Athur gave a little resistance, he ended up following Merlin anyway. He wanted to stay down stairs and look some more, but he realized that they needed to get upstairs quick.

There was a small line at the door to the room where they were having the viewing. Merlin was disappointed and yet amazed at the small amount of people who were interested in science and the universe, but he was also amazed that Arthur wanted to come with him, because surely it wasn't his cup of tea.

The room was small and dark with soft chairs like you would find in a movie theatre. They stretched in circles on the floor, with a screen on the ceiling, and Merlin felt so excited that he couldn't wait.

He and Arthur took a seat in the back, away from the few people who were in the room which got darker, and a light projected onto the sky, starting the intro to the program. Merlin looked over to Arthur and gave him a smile that said, "Thank you," and Arthur replied with an "any time" smile of his own.

* * *

><p>About thirty minutes had passed and the presentation was coming to a conclusion. Arthur had been able to keep up with almost everything so far, and he was glad that he could share it with Merlin, to feel what he felt, to see what he saw, and to be in love with what he was in love with.<p>

His gaze wandered along the ceiling, looking at all of the beautiful CGI designs. He was impressed. It all looked so... so beautiful, and it made him feel so small—so insignificant compared to what really existed.

"... _stars that are pushed below the even horizon become black holes..."_

Arthur leaned over to Merlin, and asked "What's an event horizon?"He squinted trying to make out Merlin, because even though the show was bright, it gave little illumination to the people below, and he wanted to make sure he wasn't awkwardly close to Merlin—not that Merlin would notice anyway, he later realised.

Merlin leaned even closer to him that Arthur had, his lips only an inch or so from Arthur's ear. "It's the line where there is really too much matter in the space provided, where the point gravity becomes infinite and nothing can escape, not even light," he explained.

Arthur turned to face Merlin to find hs lips just as close as his ear had been earlier. "It's amazing how smart you are," Arthur complimented, and Merlin blushed in the darkness. "How do you know all this?"

"I like to learn," Merlin responded with ease. His breath was hot and moist on Arthur's face, smelling like toothpaste and tea. Arthur tried, he really did, but he couldn't hold back anymore. He leaned in forwards, and their lips touched. It was quite literally an explosion.

Merlin felt his magic extend out and fill the room—it filled the entire building. Merlin didn't want this to end. He needed Arthur, just like this, and yet, he hadn't moved his lips at all, being in shock.

Arthur felt that, and of course, he took it the wrong way.

The lights flashed on in the planetarium and Arthur pulled back. Merlin's face was in shock and Arthur felt so guilty; he'd no right to do what he had. _N__one. _Merlin wasn't gay, and he had pretty much just violated all the trust, all the friendship that they'd had built up. Arthur watched Merlin bring his hands to his lips.

Arthur turned away in shame and stood up. "I'm sorry..." he said, needing to leave. The event was over. He needed to get out, needed to think about what happened. With no warning, he ran quickly from the room, pushing past every guest on his way.

He left Merlin sitting in his seat, alone and confused.

* * *

><p>Arthur walked down the side walk, his mind in utter shambles. He was angry and sad, and he wanted to take a leap off of the bridge that he had just walked on. He looked up at the buildings around him, at the people who passed him, and they were all so goddamn <em>happy<em>. Why couldn't he be like that?

He continued walking, for a while; he knew the way back to Gaius's house, and he knew what he had to do, and what he had to say.

Merlin got into Gaius's car. Gaius looked at him, puzzled. Merlin definitely had been crying and Arthur wasn't with him. Gaius placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him concernedly. "Do you want to talk about it, my boy?"

Merlin shook his head, tears still falling from his eyes. He clutched his fists and pulled out his phone. He opened a few menus and went down to Arthur's number. He wanted to text him, to call him, to ask what it meant, that it was okay, and to ask why did he leave?

Merlin was so stricken with emotion he could barely contain his magic. Gaius noticed this and quickly put the car into drive, getting ready to take Merlin home and let him rest.

And then, Arthur was kissing him. It was so delicious. Merlin pulled back, confused. The forest air was cool and damp on his skin and his body was hot from the kiss.

Arthur leaned in and pulled their foreheads together.

"It was never Gwen, Merlin," Arthur said. "It was _never _Gwen. I just thought that – you wouldn't share my feelings." Arthur looked up at Merlin worried, his eyes full of fear and hurt. He obviously had been thinking about this for a long time.

"I have shared your feelings for a long time, sire," Merlin responded. He leaned in and gave Arthur a small kiss, but Arthur pulled back.

"Please, Merlin. It's _Arthur_," the King whispered gently into Merlin's ear, and he pulled Merlin into a tight embrace.

Around them, the beauty of the sunset in the forest was bright, and it was rivalled only by the passion and love that Merlin and Arthur were sharing.

* * *

><p>Merlin heard the door open and barely managed to snap his eyes up through his sheer anxiety. He heard footsteps walking slowly to the living room, and Merlin couldn't help but wish time would go faster because whoever it was, they were taking their sweet fucking time.<p>

Arthur entered the room to find Merlin already staring. He hadn't been crying for a few hours but he was still upset. Arthur slowly walked to him and never made eye contact.

"It was an accident," Arthur stated firmly. His eyes wandered around the room, trying to find something to focus on, something he could use to keep his sanity, his rationality. Merlin would only break his resolve.

Merlin's heart sank into his stomach and then his stomach sank into his ass and then his ass sank into hell and there sure as hell wasn't going to be a Castiel to pull it all out and make everything right again. Tears welled up in his eyes. So Arthur didn't like him_. Of course, of course it had been an accident, it was dark, and Arthur couldn't see where his lips were. Of course. OF FUCKING COURSE!_

Merlin nodded, his eyes still on Arthur, even though there were none on him. "It's okay, really," he said, trying with all his might to be nonchalant. "I mean, it was really dark and you had no idea where your mouth was and... well... shit happens," Merlin concluded lamely.

Arthur nodded in agreement; it was amazing how Merlin was able to craft the lie for him. He knelt down to Merlin who was sitting on his air bed, shirtless and in a pair of boxers with a book in some language he didn't understand in his hand. He was so beautiful that Arthur almost wanted to cry. Almost. He couldn't believe that this was the reality he was forced to live in, the one where the only person he thought he'd ever love did not love him back.

"Still friends?" Arthur asked in a small, delicate voice that carried hints of the thoughts that were folding his hand and breaking his heart.

Merlin looked deep into his eyes. "Still _best _friends, you dollop head."

He picked his hand up and ruffled Arthur's hair and brought him into a hug, a hug that said everything was okay, when in reality, it really, really wasn't.


	8. Chapter 8: Separation

"Yes mum... yes... no... yes... Yes, I promise not to get shanked again... yes... yes... okay... Love you too!"

Merlin placed his phone in his pocket and took his seat next to Arthur in first class, just like he had the last time. He was happy first class was as barren this time as it had been then; he was paranoid about who was a Drinker, and who wasn't, and how the hell would he know? He didn't know if he should start wearing a bullet proof jacket or chain mail or _something_ equally as ridiculous to protect himself.

He rested his head back on the very comfortable seat and looked at Arthur, who was setting his bag on the floor. Merlin was lucky and had gotten the window seat this time.

"So," Merlin said in a near-desperate attempt to try and make conversation—and not for the first time, either. "It feels good to be going home, eh?"

Arthur's eyes flickered to Merlin and he said, "Yeah, it sure does," but he didn't really mean that. He had fallen in love with sleeping next to Merlin every night and hearing his gentle snores, and sometimes feeling Merlin's arm reach out to see if he was still there. A few times he'd woken up wrapped in Merlin, having completely moved over to Merlin's bed without even noticing. Merlin had probably just needed a friend though, Arthur figured, because after Merlin's reaction to the kiss, how could he be gay?

* * *

><p>After the plane had lifted in take off and had soared to thirty thousand feet, Merlin lazily reclined his seat and allowed the gentle breeze of the fan above wash cool air over him. He was so conflicted with the duty of the job he had to do, to defend himself against the Drinkers and to dismantle this magic-hating organization before they killed him. He looked out the window to the endless clouds below and felt a sense of security, as if he were safe here.<p>

Merlin felt a shift in the cabin. As he turned from the window to the inside and noticed a shade of green overturn everything, his breathing echoed into the air and returned distorted and manipulated, like bad feedback. He felt light, and yet he felt scared. Merlin stood up, feeling the gravity beneath him change and twist. He noticed immediately that he was unable to touch anything—his hand just simply passed _through _everything.

_This is... really weird, _he thought.

"Yes. Yes it is, isn't it?"

Merlin turned his head to see a woman with long black hair, skin as pale as his and with eyes as black as night. He stood across the plane against the other wall, noting her body which was decorated with black clothing that looked to be a mix of a wedding dress and some sort of a prison wardrobe. Merlin looked at her, but didn't say anything.

"It's weird, isn't it?" the lady said, "being in the astral plane?" She ran her right hand through her hair, her gaze seductive.

Merlin opened his mouth to speak. "Don't bother," she said angrily, "that was a rhetorical question."

She walked quickly across the cabin to Merlin and extended her hand, an eerie black aura seeming to emanate from her limbs, corrupting and destroying the life around her. He could only watch as it slowly poisoned Arthur's face, seeping into his veins and stretching across his face.

"My name is Morgana," she said with a strange politeness. "And you... you're the mighty Emrys."

Merlin took a step back in recoil. How did she know who he—what was she_ doing_ to Arthur? His eyes glared at Morgana and he started to emit light, which seeped into Arthur and began to reverse the corruption she was doing.

Morgana gave him a dark glare, knowing that she was about to lose him. He was untrained, she knew, but he was still very powerful and _smart_.

"Listen here, you little shit," she said. "You are a very important person, and if you fuck anything up for me I will make sure that you and that little faggot boyfriend of yours get chopped up and eaten by something fierce, do you understand?" Morgana now had her face just a few inches from Merlin's, who felt her hot breath that reeked of garlic. Merlin could only nod quickly, because although he didn't know what was going on, there was no way he was going to take any chances. Not when it came to Arthur.

Morgana took a few steps back, walking through Arthur and clapping her hands. "Good dog," she said, and she promptly disappeared.

The haul went back to normal, the green haze lifting, and Merlin felt himself become heavy and real again. Arthur looked up at him surprised.

"Merlin..." he started, confused. "I didn't even see you stand up."

Merlin met his eyes, his own face was in shock, and Arthur could sense something was wrong. "Merlin, what is it?"

"N-Nothing," Merlin replied, "just..." He tried to collect his thoughts. "A woman... long black hair... black eyes... so scary."

_No... _Arthur thought, _He couldn't be talking about... about her... could he?_ "Morgana?" Arthur asked questionably, almost conversationally. Merlin shot a confused look at Arthur.

_Shit, I didn't mean to think out loud... wait... how does he know her? What the fuck?_

Arthur gave Merlin a deeply puzzled look. "Merlin, how do you know Morgana?" Arthur asked.

"Wait, no," Merlin said. "How do _you _know Morgana?" He didn't really feel like explaining anything to Arthur and he hoped he could deflect it away.

"I had a dream about her... a while ago," Arthur said honestly. "She was looking for someone named Emrys."

Merlin almost threw up all of his insides from the overwhelming feeling of being sick to his stomach. He looked down to Arthur and shooed him out of the way. "I need... I think I'm going to be sick."

Arthur stood up and allowed Merlin to pass and hurry down the aisle to the bathroom. He sat down and thought about how weird the event that just happened was. He rested his head back on his chair and, waiting for Merlin to return, he accidentally fell asleep, exhausted.

Merlin exited the bathroom about thirty minutes later. He noticed Arthur was sleeping so he gently stepped over him and sat in his chair. He needed to think about what was going to happen—he needed to think about the future.

It was clear now that Morgana had contacted Arthur before. What if Arthur got hurt? Merlin couldn't have that; he _refused _to put Arthur's life in danger.

Merlin laid back and put his iPod in his ears, and he started to plan.

* * *

><p>The flight wasn't nearly as long as either of them had expected. They landed softy, though Merlin still clung to Arthur's hand again, and they exited the terminal to find a bunch of happy people.<p>

"Oh, my baby!" Hunith cried. She and Richard walked briskly to Merlin, and both brought him into a big hug. Arthur's parents did the same. They all walked out of the airport together, listening to Merlin and Arthur share their stories of their adventures in Chicago, and of course, the incident.

The ride home seemed just as quick. Arthur couldn't stop thinking about the kiss, and Merlin couldn't stop thinking about Morgana and the Drinkers. Neither had really had a chance to talk to the other about how they really knew Morgana or about what was going on, though Merlin wanted to fill Arthur in, he did, but he simply couldn't.

Ignorance is bliss.

Merlin placed his bag on his room floor after closing the door behind him. It had been so long since he'd really felt at _home. _He looked around his room, to his telly, to his bed, to the door that led to his bathroom, and to the white carpet that matched the white walls, and then he walked over it, to the same bed and sat down upon it, ready to sleep.

It was so lonely, without Arthur. Merlin laid back and stretched out, his fingers reaching and reaching for Arthur who wasn't and would never be there. Merlin thought about him, about the nights where he pretended to be asleep, the nights where he threw an arm over Arthur, and where Arthur let him, where he'd been injured and scared. Merlin laughed at himself in his own head, thinking about how foolish it had been to go for that kiss in the planetarium, and he felt his pants tighten and he dropped his hands to his zipper, getting his fill of the Arthur he wished was there with him right now.

Arthur sat on his bed. _It wasn't home, _he thought as he looked around. The bed was so small, and it was without Merlin. Merlin. Arthur couldn't stop thinking about him. That's where his home was—with Merlin. He felt the tears come up again and a lump form in his throat, his mind racing back to the wonderful nights he had shared with Merlin. His touch, his scent, his voice, his smile... He felt like he needed Merlin so bad, like he was his life, his essence.

Arthur wiped the tears from his face. Why did he have to be such a baby? He couldn't keep himself in check. Hell, he hadn't been able to since Merlin had come into his life. Something about the raven haired boy was just so... perfect, so magnetic. Arthur laid back onto his bed and felt a wad of grief fill him, because he knew, he _knew_ it was best if he and Merlin just weren't friends, he _knew _that was the best route to take, and so that's what he was going to do: he was going to push Merlin away. Arthur ran his hair through his hair, sighed, and rolled over, letting all his feelings pour into his pillow.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks were awkward, to say the least. Merlin tried to talk to Arthur as much as he could, but Arthur was either "busy", or he just seemed uninterested, and Merlin didn't understand. Why was he being like this—constantly turning tables and being nice, then mean, then nice, then mean again? Merlin sighed and sat on his bed. Today he'd tried to ask Arthur if he wanted to go to a movie with him, and he'd been provided with another excuse; Arthur had said that he had work to do, but when Merlin checked with his dad's work schedule it showed that Arthur had actually had the day off.<p>

Merlin hated how big the house was; it made it really easy to avoid people if you really wanted to. He got up, and he walked to the bathroom.

_"If you ever have anything you need to talk about, you talk to me, okay?"_

Merlin had thought about that for quite some time, but he was so sure that Arthur didn't want to be friends anymore that Merlin couldn't bring himself to talk to him.

_Fuck him, _Merlin thought.

He reached under his sink for that familiar black case, fighting his sobs. What did he do? How did he ruin that friendship so fast? Was it the kiss? Merlin shook his head, his hands shaking pulling the scalpel out of the case. He needed it, needed Arthur gone, just for a bit, just so he could find himself again. He stained his porcelain skin with red sin, and sighed deeply in salvation.

As soon as Merlin was sure the bleeding had stopped he put on his favorite turtleneck. He walked down the stairs, and there Arthur was, mopping the laminated floor. He didn't even look up at Merlin, and Merlin scoffed quietly and approached him. Endorphins high and attitude out of check, he was ready to rip Arthur a new one.

"Why won't you spend time with me?" Merlin asked, all a little too directly.

Arthur sighed and looked up at Merlin. This was the first time they had made eye contact in weeks, and Arthur couldn't help but notice the flare in Merlin's eyes. He wanted nothing more than to say "I do, I do," and pull him into a kiss, to glide his tongue between those rosy red lips, to run his finger tips along the bare skin of Merlin's back—but that was a fantasy, and a destructive one at that. Arthur gave Merlin a "whatever" look and walked away, taking his bucket and mop with him.

"You told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to that you'd be there!" Merlin yelled after him, and Arthur stopped dead in his tracks, the words ringing hard and loud in his ears, resonating within his heart. His eyes watered up and he turned around, a tear caressing his cheek, dodging his stubble before falling from his face.

"I truly am sorry..." he said, and then he walked away, leaving Merlin even more broken and confused than before.

* * *

><p>Arthur knelt down on one knee, messing up his royal clothes against the dirt floor. Merlin looked down at him in awe and started to blush, what was Arthur doing? He watched the King reach into his back pocket and pull out something shiny. Merlin's heart started to flutter in anticipation, was he going to ask him to –<p>

"Will you, Merlin, be my lawfully wedded Husband?" Arthur asked. Merlin gasped as Arthur took his hand and slid a golden ring on it, a pagan band of purity, of sacrifice, of _love._

Merlin grinned from ear to ear and replied the only way he knew how. "Only if you promise to stop being a clotpole."

Arthur laughed and stood up, pulling Merlin close to his face and bringing him into a sweet and tender kiss. The crowd around the roared and cheered, the spring wind on their faces, their souls passionately engaged in a kiss, the crowd rumbling with the support of their families. Merlin couldn't help but cry.

* * *

><p>Arthur sat up in his bed. It was the third night he had the same dream, the same place, the same people. Each time, he kissed Merlin, and each time, he felt complete. He looked out of the window over his bed. The moonlight was familiar; it always seemed to be in the same place in the sky when he woke up, providing solidarity his best friend—his <em>only <em>friend. His father and mother were so busy cooking and cleaning that he couldn't ever talk to them. He felt his heart sink.

Maybe he could be friends with Merlin. Maybe he could be happy being friends.

Merlin rustled in his sleep. It was the third night that he had the same dream, the same people, the same place. Each time, he felt pure and happy as Arthur slid the ring on his finger, as Arthur slid his lips against his. Merlin looked towards the door to his bathroom, he wanted the case, he needed it again, but he thought long and hard. Maybe this time, maybe he could work though it. Arthur wanted nothing to do with him, and he just had to accept it.

Merlin laid back down into his bed and sighed, wishing for a better tomorrow.

Merlin woke to his phone ringing. It was Gaius. He answered it sleepily. "Gaius, it's like 6AM, what do you want?"

"This isn't Gaius."

Merlin eyes shot open. He knew that voice. He'd recognize it anywhere. _"We want every fucking cent you have."_

"What do you want?" Merlin asked panicked. He sat up in his bed, distraught and confused. "Where is Gaius?"

"Meet me outside of your house at midnight in three days and I promise I won't kill him. Don't be late, Emrys. I'd have to have to gut the fat old fucker."

Merlin heard the phone click on the other end. He looked down in his lap and tried to calm down, but his magic rippled and arced along his body, flowing in and out of him and the world around him. There was a decisive moment, so sudden and profound that he felt calm, and peaceful. Merlin's eyes opened, glazed with white and silver, and he felt the magic of the Old Religion soar through him.

It was time.


	9. Chapter 9: Acceleration

"Do you really love me?"

Arthur took a sip from his cup and turned around to look at Merlin, who was sitting on his bed, his eyes squinted in a slightly confused look as he stared out of the window.

"Would I say if it wasn't true?" Arthur asked in return.

"Well... no, probably not, but I just—" Merlin had to think for a second. He didn't want to make it sound mean, or to have Arthur take it the wrong way. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't like... _infatuated, _or something."

Arthur slammed his drink down on the table, causing Merlin to shake in surprise as the other man got up quickly and walked back to Merlin, sat on the bed, and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Every day for the past four years I have watched you work for me, and during those years from my transition from prince to king I have watched you grow, as well. I have watched every day as you protected me, as you cared for me just as I do for you." Arthur sighed—he wasn't good at this. "I have been in love with you for quite some time, Merlin, but only recently have I been able to act on those feelings. I'm—I'm sorry if I've treated you poorly in the past, but I couldn't let anyone know. Not even myself."

* * *

><p>Merlin was walking down the steps, minding his own business when his attention shifted to a loud <em>bang<em> that came from the guest rooms. It'd sounded like something had either broken, or died—neither of which that would make Richard particularly angry, he thought.

Merlin ran into the room and saw Arthur huddled in the middle of it, crouched down with a rolled up newspaper in his hand. Arthur gazed to him then back around the room as if looking for an invisible attacker. Merlin stood there for a few seconds before he became annoyed.

"Arthur, what are you doing?" Merlin asked bluntly, "You look fool—"

"Shh!" Arthur hissed frantically, his eyes continuing to dart around the room. He turned awkwardly a few times, looking, waiting, watching. "OUCH! FUCK!" Arthur screamed suddenly, and he raised his hands behind him to begin patting and swatting.

Merlin watched in horror as a small wasp flew out of his shirt and up into the air and then landed on the ceiling.

"Ow, ow, ow, ouch, oooww!" Arthur moaned. He was jumping around the room, his hands above and behind him in a desperate attempt to try and soothe the area.

Merlin couldn't help but laugh. "Are you afraid of bees, Arthur?"

Arthur looked at him shocked. "I am _not, _Merlin. I am just annoyed by it and I want it dead and – _ow_ – it stung me!" Arthur hung his head defeated, but he quickly realized he did not know where the bee was and he was immediately back to looking around for it.

Merlin shook his head and walked to the middle of the room. He held his hand up to the ceiling and felt his magic run from his fingers and into the bee, where he told it that everything was fine and that he was going to help it. The bee slowly flew down and—to Arthur's disgust—it landed on Merlin's finger. Merlin walked to the window and gently opened it, allowing the bee to fly out. Merlin turned around in triumph and gave Arthur a conceited look.

"Well, took care of that problem for ya, eh?" Merlin said, beaming with pride.

"Well, I didn't need your help," Arthur snipped.

Merlin couldn't believe it. Arthur was still being a useless arrogant prat about everything! What did Merlin even _do _to deserve this kinda treatment? The raven-haired boy walked up quickly to the blonde, who was leaving the room, and he grabbed his arm to spin him around.

"You tell me _what _I did, right now!" Merlin yelled. His eyes were dead and cold as he glared into Arthur, and he was rewarded with an irritated look.

"Why do I have to report to you?" Arthur snapped back, "I don't work for you; I work for your _father._"

"For _the last time_, he's my _step-_father! And that doesn't make any sense!" Merlin yelled angrily. He stepped closer. "We were—Arthur, we were such good friends! What happened?" Merlin asked, his eyes softening just a fraction, his anger simmering just as quickly as it had flared as he looked to Arthur for answers.

Arthur shook his head in disbelief and turned to walk away, but Merlin grabbed his arm again and pulled him close.

"What did I _do_?"

Arthur's feelings got the better of him. He clenched his fists and hung his head, mumbling his answer under his breath.

"What?" Merlin asked, dipping his own to try and catch Arthur's gaze.

"yewdadntkzmbk," Arthur said again. He began to blush and Merlin could tell something was wrong.

"Arthur, you kinda need to—"

"You DIDN'T kiss me BACK!" Arthur screamed. His face was bright red and his eyes were wet. He was panting and sweating and he couldn't take this any longer. The truth was out, he needed it—God, he needed it...

The next step took Arthur by surprise. Merlin was only an inch from him. Arthur looked around the room before looking down to Merlin, who was looking at Arthur's body, his eyes scanning up and down. Merlin grabbed Arthur's hand and intertwined their fingers as their eyes met, and after a few more steps, then so did their lips.

Merlin pushed into Arthur, forcing Arthur to stumble backwards against the wall. Merlin let go of Arthur's hand and slid his hands up and down Arthur's body, caressing, touching, _grabbing_ all the flesh he could.

Merlin left Arthur's lips and began to kiss his neck, biting and licking as he went, and between breaths, Arthur tried to say, "Merlin... I didn't... think... you... _ngh_... you felt this way..."

"I didn't think... you... felt... this way... either..." Merlin responded between kisses.

Arthur pulled Merlin into him and wrapped his arms around him, dragging him forward and into the other room. Together, they toppled onto Arthur's bed, Arthur landing on top.

Arthur looked down at Merlin. He was so confused but he simply didn't care at this point. The pale skin that he had dreamed about for so long was his, the dark black hair, the tight beautiful body—it was all his. Arthur lifted his hand to caress Merlin's face, who sheepishly looked up at Arthur and smiled. This was too perfect.

Arthur jumped off of Merlin and stood up. He looked around the room, waiting. Merlin sat up.

"What... are you looking for?" Merlin asked.

"The last time this happened... it was a dream," Arthur said.

Merlin gave him a puzzled look and laughed through his bemusement. "Trust me, Arthur, this isn't a—"

* * *

><p><strong>beep beep beep<strong>

And there it was.

Arthur wasn't surprised—this was the third night in a row that he'd had that same dream. It always ended the same way too.

He reached out and flipped his alarm clock off before scrambling around to get dressed, and then he walked into the kitchen, getting ready to make breakfast. Nobody was home, save for himself and Merlin.

At the kitchen table, Merlin thought: _Tomorrow. _He wasn't scared anymore; he knew exactly how he was going to deal with it, and he was pretty confident. His thoughts strayed to Arthur, who was off yonder, gallivanting around and avoiding him like the twat-burger he was. Merlin chuckled into his spoon of cereal. He was really too funny for his own good.

"Oh..." Arthur said when he entered, looking at Merlin, "I didn't think you'd be awake."

Merlin gave Arthur a nod and a somewhat suspicious look and went back to eating his cereal. Arthur, however, took two slices of bread and placed them in the toaster, trying to be silent as to not draw attention.

"So why have you been avoiding me?" Merlin asked, his tone conversational and casual.

Arthur sighed. He'd known that this had been bound to come up eventually—but maybe if he was lucky, it would play out like his dream. Arthur almost laughed out loud at that thought.

"Well," Merlin demanded, "are you going to answer me?"

Arthur turned around and placed his ass against the counter, shrugging his shoulders and leaning back. Merlin felt his anger rise into him, he got up and walked quickly to Arthur, raising his hand and giving him a sharp right hook. Arthur felt himself recoil into the cabinets.

Merlin grabbed Arthur's shirt and forced him forward. Arthur was dazed and confused and he lifted his hand to grab his jaw.

"What the _fuck _Merlin?" Arthur stared, "That really—"

"Shut the _fuck _up!" Merlin yelled. His eyes were glazed gold and Arthur felt intimidated. "You told me you would be _here _for me, remember?"

Arthur's heart sank, his expression changing from irritation and anger to sorrow and guilt.

"You haven't been here, Arthur... you _haven't been here._" Merlin pulled Arthur close and wrapped his arms around him. His lips made contact with Arthur's ear. "I need you, Arthur..." Merlin whispered. "I need you more than anything..."

Arthur pulled back and nodded. Merlin smiled and brought his hand up to touch where he had punched Arthur. All was silent for a moment, until Merlin said, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to... I was just..."

Arthur brought his hand up to silence him. "It's fine, Merlin. I kinda deserved it." He chuckled and looked down at Merlin. They were still touching. Arthur could feel Merlin's stomach expand and contract with each breath, and he could feel Merlin's legs against his, his breath against his neck.

Merlin was cherishing the contact. He loved the way Arthur felt beneath him. His warmth, his essence, Merlin had gotten good at feeling people though his magic and boy, oh boy, did Arthur feel _fantastic. _Merlin felt his touch last too long and pulled back, blushing gently. He started to step back. "Well, um," Merlin said eloquently, "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah... sure." Arthur smiled and watched Merlin walk away before sinking to the floor. His heart racing, his pants tight, he rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. It was going to be a _long _taxing friendship with this one.

* * *

><p>Merlin sat outside in the cool air. The night was moonless, and the haze of fog and mist on the air was ominous. It was ten minutes to midnight and he wasn't sure what to expect and he couldn't help but keep checking his phone. 11:56... 11:57... 11:58...<p>

"Punctual, aren't we?"

Merlin looked up and searched for the disembodied voice, his eyes scanning the area in front of the gates to his house. Merlin saw in the distance three dark figures walk up. The middle man was stumbling and weaving—it was obviously Gaius. The three figures reached Merlin and then the two on each side pushed Gaius to the ground. Merlin heard his yell as his knees cracked against the asphalt.

"A trade. Your life, for his," one dark figure said.

"No! No, Merlin! Don't do it!" Gaius yelled from beneath his mask. The left assailant lifted his hand and brought it down hard on the back of Gaius's head, and Merlin heard a faint grunt before Gaius stopped speaking.

Merlin felt his anger over take him and his magic surge inside of him. His right hand began to glow, and lightning sparked and crackled between his fingers. He lifted it and a large stream of electricity shot and electrocuted one of the masked attackers. Merlin watched as the magic wrecked and swam through his body.

The light faded and the electricity dissipated from the attacker, who laughed.

"This one's strong," he said.

Merlin took a step back in shock. That was as much energy as he thought he could put out at one time, and it did nothing! Merlin's breathing became hitched as he realized how deep in shit he really was. He thought he'd be strong enough to beat them, but he figured wrong.

"You know, Jeff," the one attacker said, "why don't we just kill both of them?"

"You know... that's a really good idea," replied the other assailant, and then together they both left Gaius and began walking to Merlin.

It was quick. Merlin didn't know what happened until both attackers were on the ground, both with arrows in their back. Merlin stood in bewilderment. He looked around, not seeing anyone in sight, but—Gaius. He ran forward to the old man and removed his mask.

"Gaius, Gaius!" Merlin yelled as he pulled Gaius close.

"Ah... Merlin my boy... I'm so sorry I brought this upon you," Gaius murmured into Merlin's chests chest as they sat on the ground. Merlin saw two more figures walk up in the distance, but neither of these were disguised like the previous ones.

Merlin felt energy surge through him again and he got ready to make another attack.

"Don't do it, I'm not your enemy!" yelled a female in the distance. They got closer until Merlin could see their faces. One was an older gentleman with short black hair and beautiful facial structure, the other a younger beautiful black woman with long, wavy hair. "We're your friends. I promise."

As soon as Gaius looked up, a large smile broke out on his face. "Ah, my old friends, Lance and Gwen."

Merlin looked at Gaius. Why was it that every time Gaius was involved, things went weird and got confused and _everyone _knew each other but Merlin didn't and it was just awkward and can it stop, please?

Gaius turned to Merlin. "Merlin, these are very good friends. They are members of the Knights, and they are the ones who will help you stop the Purge," he explained, and he sounded thoroughly pleased about it.

"Well," Merlin started. "It's good you got here when you did, I thought for sure I was going to be in a lot of trouble."

"Yeah, you're not bright are you?" Gwen said rather matter-of-factly. "I figured Gaius already informed you that they're pretty much immune to magic, and yet you try to 'shock'," she used air quotes for that, "them into submission. You do know electricity is the weakest form of elemental magic, right?"

"Jeez Gwen, just lay into him why don't ya'?" the other man—Lance—said. He gave her a playful look, but she glared back at him.

"Are you all just going to leave me on the ground or is someone going to help me up?" Gaius asked impatiently, breaking the moment.

"Oh of course," Merlin said, and the three of them helped Gaius to his feet and began walking him towards the house.

When he was up, Gwen let go and wandered back. "I'll take care of the bodies," she said.

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. Tonight was going to be a _long _night.

* * *

><p>Merlin helped Gaius onto one of the stools in the kitchen as Gwen and Lance took their own seats around the table. When Gwen sat, she began laying out a bunch of papers from her bag.<p>

Merlin was the first to focus on the footsteps coming into the room. He turned to face Arthur, who was in his boxers with a cup in his hand and staring awkwardly at them. His face turned red (as did most of his body), and he walked with a sort of uncertainty to the fridge to get water.

The four of them never took their eyes from Arthur, and Arthur never kept his from them.

Arthur left in the same silence, and Gwen waited a few seconds before opening her mouth. "Was that King Arthur?" she asked Gaius, who nodded. Gwen looked puzzled before saying, "He's _nothing _like I remember. He kinda looks like a pussy ass bitch, if you ask me."

Merlin spat his kool-aid back into his cup and Lance gave Gwen a look of "really?" but she shrugged her shoulders, and Gaius chuckled. "Yes, yes, he has a lot to learn."

"Wait... 'King' Arthur?" Merlin asked.

Gwen shook her head and ignored him. She pointed down to the papers. "If you look here, we've gotten some inside information that they're trying to find a dragon—apparently one has been discovered in the mountains just south of here. If they slay one and drink its blood," Gwen said, sighing and showing her stress and anxiety, "they would be almost impossible to kill. We need to strike first and see if we can set the dragon free. Merlin," Gwen looked to him, "are you still a Dragonlord?"

"A wha'?" Merlin asked.

"Can you speak dragon tongue?"

"I... don't know."

"Well, find the fuck out then. Jesus, it's like all of you have gone daft." Gwen pulled out a book and threw it at Merlin. Merlin looked at the cover of the book, confused. "Do you need me to help you read it too?" she asked irritably, watching him fumble the book around in his hands.

"No, no," Merlin said cautiously. "I can... I'll read it myself."

"Good," Gwen huffed, "we leave in forty eight hours. I'll fill you all in tomorrow on the exact set course of action. Get your shit together and say good-bye to anyone you love, because none of us may make it."

* * *

><p>"So... who were those people?"<p>

Merlin looked up from his book to his door to see Arthur standing there, yet again, in nothing but boxers and eating crisps from a bowl. Merlin hated it when he did that. _You can't just go around being sexy and naked all the time, _he thought.

"They're friends. They're going to help me do something in a few days in the woods south from here," Merlin answered honestly, because he didn't want to lie, and well, just because he was too tired to lie. But he also didn't like being dishonest to Arthur—it felt _wrong._

"Oh. Sounds like an adventure," Arthur replied easily, eating another crisp. "Can I come?"

Merlin looked back down to his book uncomfortably. "I think it'd be best if you didn't."

Arthur pouted. "But... please?"

Merlin looked back up to see an overly dramatic Arthur pouting like a baby. "No. No way. It's going to be dangerous, and I don't want you getting hurt."

Arthur ignored that last comment and swiftly walked over to Merlin and sat on the edge of his bed. He pulled a crisp from his bowl and slowly brought it to Merlin's face. Merlin opened his mouth and Arthur gently stuck the crisp in. "Perfect," Arthur said. "I can't wait... also, Merlin."

Merlin stared at Arthur, waiting for him to continue. He took the time to notice how nice his hair was, like he had just gotten out of the shower.

"I know all about you."

Merlin watched Arthur get up and leave the room. What did he mean by that? Did he know he was magical? He opened his mouth to call after him, but it was too late. Merlin dropped his book on his lap and smacked his head back against his headboard.

_Arthur. Fucking Arthur._


	10. Chapter 10: Absolution

"His name is Kilgharrah," Gwen informed them as she pulled a very old map from her backpack and rolled it out onto the table. "He's supposedly locked up in a mountain, here," she placed her finger on the map which was just north of where Merlin lived, "and the place is totally inaccessible by vehicle. Hell, I don't know if we can even make it on _foot_, but we have to try. Now. It's going to take about six or seven hours to get there, and then another four or five to traverse the caverns in which he's locked. I have a map, which should help, but I don't know how reliable it is. Hopefully we can get to him before dusk and set him free. If we do, we will have spoiled the Purge's plan and we will have hopefully avoided any Drinkers along the way, but if we don't... God help us all."

Gaius, Lance, and Merlin all nodded at her words. They knew what challenges awaited them if they didn't get to the dragon first.

Merlin sipped from his tea. Luckily for him, Uther, his wife, Hunith and Richard were out of town on a business trip as Richard had promoted Uther to his personal assistant—probably, Merlin thought, from the guilt of leeching the man dry. Merlin set down his cup and took a bite from his sandwich and watched as Gwen recited the plan she had formed.

"So... when are we leaving?"

The group turned to the kitchen doorway to find Arthur standing there. He had a baseball cap on, a very large and stuffed backpack hanging from his shoulders, and a knife on his belt. Gwen turned to Merlin, then to Arthur, then to Merlin again.

"You're shitting me... right? Like, no... seriously shitting me? This is a joke?" Gwen threw her hands in the air in disbelief.

Arthur gave her a confused look. "No... Merlin said he was going to talk to you about letting me come along on your _adventure,_" he said uncertainly, raising himself on the tips of his toes as he said adventure like a kid trying to reach for the cookie jar. A large grin broke out on his face and some of his blond hair fell out from under his cap. Merlin's hunger immediately vanished and was replaced by pure awe and arousal.

Gwen shot Merlin a dirty look. "You told him he could come?" she said before swivelling back to Arthur and gazed up and down. Then she laughed, simply because Arthur who looked like he was ready to go camping rather than free a dragon. "No no no no no no no no _no,_" she said. "You'd die... no worse, you'd get us all _killed!_"

"No... he won't."

Merlin stood up and walked over to Arthur. There was no way that he would be able to go this alone with strangers. He needed Arthur to be with him—he gave him strength. "He's my best friend, and I know he'd do anything to protect me. And besides," Merlin added, looking to Arthur tenderly and placing a hand on his shoulder, "it's about time he learned the truth."

"That you're a warlock?" Arthur asked.

Merlin all but dropped in his shock. "When did you find out?"

"Well," Arthur trailed off into a groan, lifting his hands behind his head as if he was in deep thought, "there was the time you slowed my fall when I fell, and that time you healed my arm... There was also that time you healed yourself, and when I watched you do the dishes at Gaius's..."

Merlin looked down at his shoes, blushing. "I didn't realize you even knew magic existed," he said.

"My mom's part witch," Arthur explained, "I don't really have any magic. Well, I've never tried, but I never showed promise so..."

Merlin never broke his gaze from Arthur's lips as he talked and when he was done, he could only think about how they were so red and full and—

"Oh my _God, _will you two get a ROOM?" Gwen yelled. Merlin and Arthur broke their trance on each other and turned to face her, blushing simultaneously. "He can come! The more the merrier!" Gwen walked up to Arthur and pulled out her dagger, quickly placing it at his throat. "But, mark my words Pendragon, you cross me and I'll have you put down like a _sick_ _dog._"

Arthur gulped. He couldn't tell what was sharper—her gaze or her blade. He nodded quickly and she pulled her dagger back, re-sheathing it at her side before retreating back to the table where she began to roll her stuff up. "We don't have time to explain the plan to you, Arthur, so you're going to have to play it by ear. We leave in ten minutes."

* * *

><p>The darkness of the morning was as cool as it was scary. Merlin, Arthur, Lance, and Gwen all started their hike through the woods after leaving Gaius at the house due his old age and feeling that he was too fragile for such a venture. Gwen lead the group, staying almost ten paces in front of everyone, doing her best to avoid the branches and roots that effortlessly tried to trip her up.<p>

"So, who are you people?" Arthur asked eventually.

Gwen shook her head and gave a raspy, exaggerated sigh. Lance laughed at her and turned his head to answer. "We're Knights—we're the resistance against the Purge. We live to serve and protect all things magical, even if we aren't ourselves."

Arthur took a long look at Lance. "What's the Purge?"

"Oh my god!" Gwen exclaimed. "Are you going to be this annoying the entire time?"

"Sorry..." Arthur replied lamely. Merlin caught up with him and bumped into him with his shoulder playfully, and Arthur looked at him and bumped in a silent reply—well, apart from their backpacks clanging loudly and making noise as they—

Gwen stopped walking and turned around. "Do—you—want—_everyone_—to—know—we—are—coming?" she said slowly and angrily, as if they were mental. She pinched the bridge of her nose in a bid to calm herself and sighed. "Just stay quiet and everything will be... _okay,_" she groaned out the last word, as if it was made of vomit and maggots but as if she were making herself believe it too.

As she turned abruptly to lead again, Arthur and Merlin chuckled at each other but listened and continued to walk quietly... for the next few minutes or so.

* * *

><p>Merlin sat next to Arthur on the ground of the meadow that surrounded them. Arthur had laid out a blanket, and they were drinking from the finest gold the kingdom had to offer.<p>

Arthur leaned in and kissed Merlin neck, bringing his hand up to ruffle his hair. Merlin turned to meet his lips, and they kissed feverishly.

When they broke, Arthur reached into his bag and pulled out a silver signet.

"This was my mother's..." Arthur said, and he reached his hand over to Merlin and held it out. "I want you to have it."

Merlin looked at Arthur in shock. It was a beautiful sigil that had a beautiful bird engraved on it. He opened his mouth to protest but Arthur placed his index finger on Merlin's lips, silencing him.

"Please... just take it."

Merlin took the sigil and held it dear in his hand and then gazed back to Arthur, a deep feeling of love and appreciation filling him.

* * *

><p>"I'm hungry."<p>

Gwen's hands twitched and she did her best to not strangle Arthur. She turned around slowly and plastered a smile on her face, which came out very forced, distorted and scary. "Is... anyone else... hungry... too?" Her voice rose slightly at the end of the sentence.

Merlin raised his hand and so did Lance.

_Men, _she thought. "Fine, okay. We'll set up a small fire here and then we'll eat some of the food that I've packed, but _no _more stops after this—I don't care if you're going to piss your trousers." She sighed. "Lance," she pointed to him, "go and get stones. Merlin, Arthur, go get firewood. I'll unpack." They stood there for a second and looked at her. "Did I stutter? Go GO GO GO MOVE YOUR ASSES!" she yelled, and the men scrambled about and ran off to different places of the woods, doing their best to not make her angry.

Gwen placed a hand on her hip and smiled. Being a woman in this century was amazing.

As they gathered firewood on Gwen's orders, Merlin did his best to stay near Arthur without making it too obvious. He would diagonally trail to him, pretending like he saw a really good piece of wood and then he'd brisk walk to it, over and over, and Arthur seemed to notice because he would do the same thing. Merlin couldn't help but smile every time Arthur got a few feet closer. Merlin felt his life, like it was a fire, bright and hot and powerful but also so delicate and limited, as if the smallest thing could put it out.

Arthur picked up a piece of dry wood and placed it into his arms. He looked over at Merlin who was doing the same thing. His eyes skimmed up and down Merlin's skinny legs as he bent over to get a piece of wood and inadvertently licked his lips and continued to pick up wood, admiring Merlin from afar. Arthur felt a tight pinch in his back and chest; he looked down to see a sharp metal point protruding.

He numbly ran his fingers over it and as he felt the blood seep from the wound, registering the sensation, he fell forward onto his knees.

Merlin could sense the snap in Arthur's essence and heard the sound of something fall a second later. He didn't even need to turn around to know what had happened.

_Arthur._

Merlin ran to him, his footsteps loud as he broke branches and twigs in his haste. He landed beside Arthur and tried to gauge the situation. _There's a fifteen inch arrow which is most likely puncturing his left lung. He's most likely bleeding out internally and externally and the people that did this are—_Merlin lifted his head just in time to stop the arrow that was just inches from his face.

He looked into the distance and saw a masked archer duck in and out of trees. Merlin felt his anger and passion build, and immediately channelled his magic. He reversed the arrow and launched it, using his magic to extend the distance from him and the masked man, as to facilitate acceleration. He heard the air break as it shattered the sound barrier and then collapsed the distance between them as the arrow accelerated into the tree and through the masked archer.

Merlin saw blood fly at least fifteen yards if not more from the tree, and felt himself calm down.

He looked down at Arthur, who looked so peaceful, and felt his tears well up. He knew he didn't have much time. He reached down and picked Arthur up, using magic to levitate his body. They had medical supplies and healing enchants in their bags at camp—Merlin could save him. He began the half a mile trail back to, what would hopefully be, safety.

"Holy shit!"

Gwen and Lance ran over to Merlin and Arthur as soon as they emerged through the trees. Gwen took Arthur's body and rested it upon the ground and Lance ran to his bag to get supplies.

Arthur's face was pale and he was unresponsive, and Gwen placed her fingers on his neck and checked his pulse. She waited for a few seconds before sighing in relief and then begun to tear Arthur's shirt to look at the wound.

"What happened?" she asked loudly.

"He was... shot," Merlin responded lamely.

"Wha – no really? I never would've guessed," she snapped, and when Merlin gave her a hurt look, she backed off. "Look, never mind, I'll ask later." She returned her gaze to Arthur and began to inspect the wound. "He has a pulse but it's barely there. Lance, quick, we need to re-inflate his lung and remove the arrow." At this, Lance yelled from his bag and he began to shuffle through for supplies. Gwen turned to Merlin. "Do you know any healing spells?"

"Uhm... yeah a few, lemme get my book," Merlin replied.

"No!" Gwen yelled. "We don't have time for that! He's going to die any minute now from the lack of oxygen getting to his brain and the loss of blood. You need to do something _now._" She gave Merlin a fierce look, as he looked down at Arthur. He didn't even look alive anymore. His body was still and blue against the green grass and the light that pierced the canopy didn't reflect a single ounce of life back from his body. Merlin placed both hands on Arthur's chest and let his magic run through him, into Arthur's heart, into his soul. His hands began to glow before slowly fading.

The warlock looked down at Arthur, hopeful.

Nothing.

Merlin was feeling the life force leave his body. Gwen noticed it too, and gave Merlin a shocked look just as Lance returned with a pair of pliers, a bottle, and a tube. He handed them over but realized that Merlin was weeping and Gwen had her head in her hands, obviously shaken by the events that had just happened. The forest was quiet, as if they too were holding a moment of silence for the lost king.

"He's not_ gone_," Merlin stated. The wind began to blow ominously and the trees shook. "I won't let him leave me. No – no, not like this." The clouds rolled in and began to cry and bleed with thunder and rain.

Gwen grabbed her hair and looked around confused and her eyes landed on Merlin. Lance ran to her to pull her back.

Merlin's body rose a few feet off the ground. Magic began to erupt from somewhere deep inside him, from a place he didn't even know existed or understand. His eyes glazed white with power, with absolution, his body crackling and ringing as energy arched and flung from his body. He held out his hands and brought them to his chest, the grass beneath him and Arthur was purged of life and the ground stained black. Arthur's body remained lifeless, breathless, _dead._ Merlin looked to the sky.

"_Dægrædléomablétse_!"

A bright white light poured from the ground below Arthur, tendrils of black spawned and began to wrap themselves around Arthur. Merlin's hands extended out wards and he spun slowly above Arthur. Energy continued to flow from Merlin outwards, slicing and destroying tree branches, scarring the ground and scorching it with fire. The tendrils continued to twist and turn and began to lift Arthur from the ground, suspending him in the air.

Arthur was now level with Merlin. Merlin floated a few steps towards him and rested his hand on Arthur's head. He could still feel a little energy left—it was just enough. Merlin felt the power well up and overflow from inside of him. He leaned forwards, no longer seeing Arthur's physical body but instead his spirit. He leaned in further, a Seed of Life between his lips, and he pressed them against Arthur, sewing the seed into Arthur's soul.

Arthur began to twitch and then gasped for air. His wounds began to heal and the blood he lost began to flow from the ground up into him. Merlin manipulated his hands as he molded Arthur's life back into him, stitching his soul back into his body and weaving Arthur's life with his own, the Seed the catalyst. Arthur was conscious for only a few seconds before fading back into unconsciousness. The tendrils began to lower Arthur to the ground, and Merlin began to slowly descend with him. His hands still running over Arthur, he could see everything, could see Arthur's soul, could see strings of light bind and twist into Arthur's soul and through his body. He watched as he used his own life, his own magic, to bind and purge; his wound, his corruption.

Gwen stared at the ritual. She and Lance had retreated far into the distance, out of harm's way. She looked up at Lance who was holding onto her for dear life. Lance's eyes never left Merlin.

"I thought all resurrection magic was... darkness," she said, almost asking the sentence rhetorically. Her eyes returned to the blinding white light. Her body shook from the view of such a fantastic thing.

"I thought so too," Lance whispered, holding her more tightly.

Merlin raised his hands into the air, the light brighter than ever. The clouds had become so dark that not an ounce light was breaking through. Merlin and Arthur were the only source of luminescence for miles, like a lighthouse; his ritual the shell, his magic the fire, and his love the source.

"_Blæd, insegle!"_

Merlin brought his hands together and the light became blinding. Gwen and Lance looked away and covered their eyes as a loud bang filled the air, shadowed by a high pitched hum which quickly faded. Gwen and Lance looked back to the scene.

Merlin and Arthur lay there, unmoving, apparently lifeless.

"Shit," the woman cursed.

Gwen grabbed Lance's hand and they both ran to them, hoping Merlin hadn't killed both Arthur and himself in his resurrection rite.


	11. Chapter 11: Fading

"You missed a spot."

Arthur brought his hand down and lathered it up with soap before sliding it between Merlin's legs. Merlin leaned against the wall stone, gasping at the touch.

* * *

><p>Merlin found himself walking, walking, <em>walking<em>... Where? He didn't know. The forest was very dense here, the sky an olive shade of green and the trees with leaves of red and gold. There were no sounds of animals, and Merlin felt bombarded by the silence, silence, silence, silence. He felt so tired, tired, he felt so weak, _so weak_, but something inside of him told him to keep going, that something was waiting for him in the future, future, future, _future_.

The end of the woods spawned the beginning of a mountain and Merlin's eyes lazily drifted along it, looking for something, something. _Something_. He felt something pull at his chest, like a rope or a leash, pulling him forward, forward, forward,_ forward_.

The cave was dark and a gentle scent of limestone filed the air, air, air. Merlin stumbled inside, his legs heavy, his body was fading, fading, fading. He pushed himself deeper, deeper into the cave, deep into the bowels of the mountain, into where he was sure he was to go, go, go, _go_.

He found a small pond, deep, deep away from the bright light of the outside and sank to his knees, knees, _knees _to slowly dip his hands in the water. He saw his reflection in the water, water, water and he didn't think he could look so sad, sad, so alone_. Alone._

"I see you've found the Crystal Cave."

Merlin turned around, around, around. He saw an old man standing at the exit of the small chamber he was in and he stood up, shaking.

"Who... are you?" Merlin asked weakly.

"I am an Elder. That is all you need to know for now." He took a few steps forward. "I see you're about to give up, Emrys," the Elder whispered.

"Where... where am I?" Merlin asked, even weaker than he had the last time.

"The Fade," the Elder said. He looked around the room as if he could see something that Merlin couldn't, and rather ironically, Merlin found that his spirit was fading quickly.

"Please..." Merlin begged. "I'm so... tired..."

His voice echoed through the cave, resonating with the crystals in the walls which began to glow dimly. Merlin felt his eyes close even though he tried to force them open. His soul was degrading.

"You want to die?" the old man asked.

Merlin nodded his head, head, head. His mind was filled with pain and agony. All he could think about was release. All he could think about was death.

"Before you do..." the Elder said, "there is something I want you to see."

Merlin spread himself on the floor, too tired to stand up. The Elder took a piece of crystal from the ground and held it up, waving his hand over it, causing it to shine brilliantly. He handed it to Merlin.

"This is the cave of Neahtid," the Elder explained, "and this crystal will show you what life will be like for your love... if you give up now."

Merlin gazed into the crystal that began to shine brighter and brighter until it finally over took him.

* * *

><p>Arthur was crying. The world was dark and cold. Merlin was helpless and could only watch as Arthur continued to sob. He hands were on Merlin's body, touching him, shaking him, begging him to wake up. Merlin watched as Arthur, in vain, tried to give him CPR, tried to give him medicine, tried to use one of Merlin's magical books to perform a healing spell, none of which worked.<p>

"Don't you do dare this to me!" Arthur screamed, tears flowing from his angry, red face with equal vehemonous sorrow. "You come back to me!"

Even Gwen and Lance were crying as they watched Arthur shake his love in vain. Gwen walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "He's gone... Arthur—Arthur, he's _gone!_"

"No! No NO NO NO NO!" Arthur screamed into the air, slamming his fists down on Merlin's unmoving chest.

**A dark void engulfed the area.**

"You need to leave."

"What?" Arthur asked. He stared at Gwen with a scared and confused look.

"You're of magic kin!" Gwen yelled. "You have to leave! They'll kill you!"

She handed Arthur a small pamphlet with the words _Purge the Urge: To use Magic_.

Arthur turned away, his heart sinking into his stomach as he ran to his room and packed his bags.

**A dark void engulfed the area.**

Arthur sat around his campfire alone. He checked his watch for the time and watched the stars in the sky twinkle. He had been running for so many years, for so long. He thought about the world, about how _he _over took it, about how _he _purged the land and established a new government, about how _he _was the reason that Merlin was dead.

Merlin watched Arthur reach into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He fumbled through it and pulled out a picture of Merlin. It was from a long time ago, a happier time—a time when they were carefree and fun and silly and—

Arthur began to cry. He took a large sip from his flask and tried to chase the memories away like he did every night, but this night, this night he couldn't rid himself of the nightmares, of the longing. Merlin wanted to scream at him, to tell him how much he cared, but he couldn't. The warlock was frozen, forced to watch.

Arthur searched through his backpack until he found what he was looking for—his gun.

The blonde looked to the moon, tired and cold, and thought to himself, _I want to be with you, Merlin. _The cold steel was warm against his head as he searched for the good times, the best times, the times when he swore Merlin loved him back, the times when Merlin hugged him or confided in him. He thought to the kiss Merlin gave him to bring him back, it was so warm, and so—

The crack that echoed through the forest and paled in comparison to the deafening silence that followed; the silence that brought Merlin to his knees.

* * *

><p>Merlin sobbed hysterically and threw the crystal across the room. It shattered against a far away wall.<p>

The Elder walked over to Merlin and knelt in front of him.

"Why! Why would you show me that?" Merlin screamed. His voice was hoarse and he couldn't hold back his feelings, and yet still the Elder picked up another crystal, which began to glow as the first had.

"Merlin, it doesn't have to be like that," the Elder said. "Take this. It will show you what will happen if you hold on just a little bit longer."

Merlin reluctantly extended his hand and grasped the shinning gem, and the bright light pulled him into the future.

* * *

><p>"Tell me you love me."<p>

"I love you," Arthur responded as Merlin rolled over and rested his head on Arthur's chest to listen to Arthur's heart beat, to his breathing, his life. He placed gentle kisses on Arthur's chest, biting and licking his way along Arthur's body, from nipple to nipple, and then down.

"I love you so much," Arthur whispered.

Merlin reached under Arthur's boxers and began to stroke and rub, feeling his hands slide up and down Arthur. Merlin gazed up to see Arthur looking down at him intently, passion and lust in his eyes.

**A white light filled the room.**

"I do."

"I do."

Arthur leaned in gently, his face red and holding back no emotion. Merlin leaned in as well, closing the gap between them, and the two felt their lips brush against each other as there was a large applause.

Merlin and Arthur turned to face the crowd of odd creatures and fantastic beasts, save for Gwen, Lance, and Gaius, and then back to the old man who was standing in front of them.

"By the powers invested in me of the old religion, I now bind you, in soul, in heart, and in spirit."

Arthur took Merlin's hand and they slowly left the alter to walk down the aisle, moving forward into their new life.

**A white light filled the room.**

"Daddy!"

"Sophie! My baby girl!" Arthur picked his daughter up and threw her into the air before catching her and kissing her face.

"Daddy! Daddy, stop! It tickles!" Sophie laughed and giggled into Arthur as he continued to kiss and nuzzle her. Merlin walked over and ran his fingers through Arthur's hair.

Sophie reached into her back pack and pulled out a picture that was done crudely with markers and crayons. She held it up for Arthur and Merlin to see.

"Look! Look!" she yelled. She pointed to the two men she drew on the paper. "See Daddy this is you," she pointed to the stick figure with blond hair, "and papa this is you!" She pointed to the stick figure with black hair and a magic wand.

Arthur and Merlin smiled at each other.

**A white light filled the room.**

"Pappy!"

Arthur lifted his beautiful grandson up. He felt him wrap his arms around him and he held him close. Merlin walked over to Arthur and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Dad!" Sophie yelled in her excitement. "I'm so glad you guys could make it for Tim's birthday!"

Merlin gave Sophie a disappointed, mocking look. "Did you really think we'd miss this tinker-tots birthday party?"

Tim turned around in Arthur's arms. "I told you mom! I told you they'd make it!"

Arthur carried Tim into the next room, but stopped shy of the doorstep. He glanced back to Merlin and Merlin gazed back and the moment there was glazed in ice, frozen and still. Merlin was happy, Merlin was safe, Merlin was loved and his life was _fulfilled_.

* * *

><p>Arthur woke up to the sound of scuffling. He rolled over in bed and saw Merlin opening his shades as he sat up. The white light, the magic, the arrow? He looked over at Merlin who was wearing very odd clothes.<p>

"Time to wake up you lazy bum!" Merlin yelled. He leaped on Arthur's bed and gave him a hard kiss on the lips.

Arthur stared at him in amazement. "Merlin?" he asked in disbelief.

"What?" Merlin asked, sporting a huge grin from ear to ear.

Arthur looked around the room. It was a huge chamber and his bed itself was also very large. There were royal symbols everywhere and it felt like Arthur was in an alternate reality. Merlin snapped his fingers in front of Arthur's face, bringing him out of the trance.

"Arthur!" Merlin yelled. "Get up! You have a meeting this morning!"

* * *

><p>Arthur felt himself suspended in space. White, in every direction. He felt himself drift and drift and drift. The emptiness was satisfying, the world quiet and peaceful. Arthur could feel no fear, no pain, no anguish, no hate, no suffering. He was empty and full, heavy and light, and he felt himself continue to lift, the memories of his past becoming fuzzy and faded the farther he floated. He was ready.<p>

_No._

Arthur felt himself become gripped, tangled, he felt the power of something far greater than him. He opened his eyes as something that felt like rope wrapped itself around him, digging into his soul, into his flesh, unrelenting, powerful and absolute. He felt it dig into him, felt it pull him back, and Arthur screamed. It hurt so bad, he just wanted to drift, drift up into the light, drift up into the sky, into happiness, into freedom, but the coils pulled him down, deeper and deeper. He felt heat on his lips and a shock through his body and he was ripped into the mortal world.

* * *

><p>Merlin leaned backwards, lying on the ground. His eyes were still adjusting to the light as he quickly tried to rub the tears from his eyes. The Elder was looking at him, apparently pleased by what he had done. Merlin sat up to look at him.<p>

"Make a choice young warlock," the Elder said, his tone stoic. He held out both hands. One was glowing white, and the other was a dull, depressing black. "You must pick your own future."

Merlin could still feel the sting in his eyes, he was so tired, tired,_ tired_. He didn't think he could make it; he didn't _want _to make it. He loved Arthur, wanted him, but what if these were just illusions, illusions,_ illusions_. He was so tired of fighting the darkness that was pulling him deeper, deeper, _deeper_.

After a few seconds Merlin extended his hand and took one of the Elder's.


	12. Chapter 12: Resurrection

"Sodding git," Gwen grunted, and then groaned as she dragged Merlin's body by his feet back to the shelter she and Lance had set up. The sky was darkening as night began to fall, and Gwen scoffed and continued to drag Merlin. If he didn't get up soon the Purge would reach the dragon, and then the world they knew would cease to exist.

"_Stupid_ sodding git," Gwen grunted again under her breath.

Upon arrival, Lance ran over to Gwen and stopped a few feet before her. He looked at her, then to Merlin, then back to her and gave her a suspicious look, crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. "Did you really... _drag _him the whole way here?"

"Oh don't start your shit with me _Sir Lancelot,_" Gwen mocked. Her eyes narrowed into a death glare. "He weighs at least as much as me, and I didn't have the strength to carry him the good half a mile back to camp." She dropped Merlin's leg and placed both hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side in annoyance. "And I sure as hell didn't see _you _jumping through hoops to help me."

Lance sighed and walked past her, effortlessly picking Merlin up and tossing him over his shoulder. He went back towards the tent, giving her a cocky smile as he passed her. "Happy now?" he yelled as he walked away. Gwen watched him in disbelief and he placed Merlin in the tent and then turned around to walk back to her.

"You know," Gwen started, "you don't have to be such a chivalrous twat."

Lance stopped only an inch or so in front of her. "And _you _don't have to be such a meanie," he countered as he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

Gwen turned her head away, embarrassed by how romantic Lance was, and her gaze drifted around the woods that had recently been covered in dusk before it came back around to Lance. He was looking at her tenderly. Gwen's own face began to soften and as her eyes faded from sharp irritation to love, she brought both hands up around Lance's neck and leaned into him. He was her support—he was her life line. Lance placed his hand on top of her head and gently rubbed his fingers into her scalp.

"You know if – if we fail..." Gwen clutched Lance's body tighter and burrowed her face into his chest, taking a few deep breaths to prepare herself for the realization at hand. "If we fail, there will be no more world for us to live in."

Lance pulled back and looked down at her. Night had fully set in and Lance looked deeply into her eyes, watching the flames of the campfire dance in them. He leaned in and gently rested his lips on hers, moving them slowly and passionately, placing both hands on her hips and forcefully pulling her as close as she could be. He moved his face back, just enough to break the kiss. "We _won't,_" he whispered.

Gwen pulled him closer in and they continued their embrace.

* * *

><p>Gwen walked into the tent and looked down at Arthur and Merlin, whose bodies had gravitated towards each other in their unconsciousness. Merlin's head rested on Arthur's chest with his arm wrapped around his waist. Gwen watched Merlin especially closely; she couldn't help but feel scared and yet completely amazed by him.<p>

Her mind flashed back to the event, watching Merlin give his all to bring Arthur back, and she turned her head over her shoulder to look at Lance through the opening of the tent. Her gaze became the softest it had ever been, her heart aching as it did. What would _she _do if Lance was dying? What lengths would she go to? She grabbed a thin blanket from one of the bags in the tent and laid it over the boys, tucking them in, before gently placing a hand on Arthur's head and brushing a hand along his cheekbone.

_He's a lucky man, _she thought.

Gwen exited the tent and returned to Lance at the campfire, sitting on the wooden log he had found. She pulled out her cell phone. 11PM. She sighed and leaned against him, sliding her arm under his and locking herself in place, using him as her support, as her totem. He in turn shifted ever so slightly to kiss the top of her head. They didn't have to talk—they knew what they were thinking, that they were scared. That they were paranoid, that they were hoping and wishing that Merlin and Arthur would wake up before—

The woman's ears twitched and she snapped her head to her right. Lance noticed her change in demeanor and looked in the direction she was looking.

She continued to stare but Lance couldn't see anything. "Gwen—"

But Gwen held her hand up to silence him, her eyes becoming tight slits as she peered into the darkness. "_Shit_."

Gwen got up quickly and ran into the tent while Lance stood up and watched her. Something was off, he knew it, and as soon as he'd processed the thought he quickly got a bucket of dirt he had collected and poured it onto the fire. _Thank god I was prepared, _he thought.

Gwen came out of tent with a large black box; she sat on the ground with it and began fumbling with a set of keys, trying to unlock it.

Lance watched her carefully. "What are you doing?" he whispered bewildered.

"What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" Gwen asked irritably as she finally got the right key in and opened the box to reveal a set of colored crystals that were arranged inside. She pulled out a bluish purple crystal and looked around hurriedly.

"Quick!" Gwen hissed frantically. "I need something to break this with."

Lance looked around for just a second before sprinting with all of his might to the campfire and taking a rock they had used to surround it. He ran back to Gwen and handed it over to her, who lifted the rock above her head destructively and brought it down swiftly onto the crystal, and it shattered.

A blue haze filled the air and it began to glow as it steadily grew. Gwen stood up and took a few steps back as the mist became thicker and thicker, filling the camp site and the tent area. She then held up a red crystal and pointed it into the mist. Beside her, Lance carefully watched as Gwen used the crystal to stretch and manipulate the fog, causing it to move around them in a dome—a barrier.

Gwen dropped the red crystal and then picked up rock had found for her again, smashing it as she had done with the first, and Lance walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulder tightly in reassurance.

"It's a force field with a hint of invisibility," Gwen whispered proudly, looking over to the direction of the noise as a few men started to stride out, faces masked, entirely armed and dangerous. They walked completely past the dome as if it didn't even exist.

Gwen let go of the breath she had been holding on to and wiped the sweat from her brow, feeling her heart race. They had waited too long. She looked up to Lance who was looking at her in bewilderment. They both turned to face the tent.

"Drinkers?" Lance asked, his voice shaken.

Gwen swallowed hard and felt herself feel weaker and weaker, the goal at hand was so close to failing. Arthur and Merlin needed to wake up, _now._

* * *

><p>"So warm."<p>

Arthur's breath hitched. He gently oscillated his hips, pushing forward, pushing deeper and threw his head back. Sweat dripped from his face, down past his neck, down onto his chest. He passionately bent over, laying his entire body along Merlin, feeling himself connect—feeling whole. Arthur didn't want this to end.

His rhythm slowed down to a snail's pace and he took his time, running his hands over Merlin's body, feeling every ridge, every crevice, every scar, every dimple. Arthur shuddered as his hands rolled over Merlin. He felt so close.

"_Arthur_!"

Merlin arched his back at the sensation. His hands were sore from the wooden table below him, but still he pushed himself against Arthur, feeling his body snap together with Arthur's like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle coming together. His nails dug into the oak and he felt his knees become weak, his thighs tender. His eyes darted to the castle walls, trying to hold out for as long as he could. He wanted to be Arthur's pleasure, his outlet, wanted Arthur to fill him with every desire, every dream, every lust filled fantasy. He lifted his hand behind his head and pulled on Arthur's shoulders, trying to bridge the non-existent gap between them. Merlin gently panted. He felt _so alive_.

Merlin turned his head and Arthur turned his, their lips gliding over each others. Merlin pulled away and looked Arthur in the eye, his body becoming tense and ridged, his muscles tensing in anticipation.

Arthur forced himself deeper and deeper, his mouth hung open slightly as he continued to hold Merlin's gaze, the friction, the power, the sensation, all _Merlin_; it was all too much. Arthur pulled back as far as he could and slammed into Merlin, holding himself there, bringing himself to an all time high. Merlin couldn't take it anymore. Arthur's hand was around him, quickly and briskly kneading him.

Merlin felt his body shake and a small moan ejected from his lips, followed by a gentle grunt, and the small whisper of, "Arthur." Then, Merlin gently set himself down onto the table, Arthur still on top of him.

* * *

><p>Merlin's eyes opened slowly. It was dark all around him. A few seconds later, and his eyes had adjusted, and he could make out the insides of the tent he was inside.<p>

White. Elders. Life. Death.

_Arthur_.

Merlin's eyes widened in shock. He sat up and looked around in a panic. _Where was Arthur?_ He quickly got to his feet, still weak from the previous endeavor, and ran out of the tent.

"You bloody _idiot_!" Gwen screamed. She looked down to see all of her food knocked from her plate and onto the ground and then scowled up at Merlin, who was startled from the recoil of the impact and her harsh words. Her expression folded into a million at once: rage, irritation, happiness, hate, love. "It's about fucking time you got up then, yeah?" Gwen said harshly before pulling him into a quick embrace.

She pulled back, looking around as if she was embarrassed in the sudden shift of her emotions, but then she recovered just as quickly and became cold again. She looked back to Merlin as if expecting some kind of answer or apology.

Merlin simply nodded at her and then looked around his surroundings. Arthur was nowhere to be seen.

Gwen studied him closely and she knew exactly what he was thinking. She scoffed and placed her index finger and thumb on the bridge of her nose, as if she had a splitting headache. "Your _boyfriend _is off taking a piss or something," she said rudely. "He's fine though, really..." Her gaze morphed from irritation to humility and she placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder—another shift in her emotions, like she didn't know how to act around him.

"Merlin!"

Merlin turned to his right to see Arthur running full speed at him. They collided with enough force to knock all the air out of Merlin's chest. Arthur pulled Merlin back and then gazed into his eyes. Merlin sighed deeply as Gwen watched on and pretended to gag while rolling her eyes in disgust.

"I thought... I had lost you," Merlin confessed. His eyes became glazed with tears and he looked away from Arthur, embarrassed to be so open with his feelings like this in front of Gwen. Arthur gave him a reassuring look and placed both hands on Merlin's shoulders.

"But you didn't..." Arthur replied. He looked to the sky. "I heard you... you know—calling for me, in... the afterwhatever. You brought me back, Merlin

Gwen walked up to them and placed one hand on Merlin's shoulder and another on Arthur's. Merlin glanced up at Gwen, a few tears rolling down his face. She gave him a sympathetic look."You did good, yeah? You saved his life, and it was bloody well amazing." She gave him a private smile and looked up to Arthur, confident. "Now get ready, I know you're weak but we have work to complete. The Drinkers are almost to the dragon but luckily, we've encountered an old friend."

"Really?" Merlin asked, frowning. "Who?"

"Me!" came an unusually happy voice.

Merlin and Arthur turned around, Merlin's eyes widening and Arthur's jaw dropping in horror. Stood before them, dressed in black and with her hair pulled up into a bun and looking devastatingly beautiful and sporting a wicked cracked smile, was Morgana.


	13. Chapter 13: Degradation

**Quite some time ago...**

* * *

><p>"You hungry?"<p>

Morgana looked up from her book to Gwen, who was standing in the door to their room with a bag of chicken breasts in one hand and a frozen pizza in the other. She bobbed them up and down like she was a scale, waiting for Morgana's response. Morgana eyeballed both of them through her glasses before placing her index finger on her chin as if she was thinking. Gwen loved when Morgana made those faces. They were so wonderful and amazing and adorable and sexy and Gwen had a really hard time being objective when Morgana looked like that—like a queen.

"How about we go out tonight?" Morgana suggested finally.

Gwen's eyes lit up and she let both of her hands drop. They had just moved into their new apartment, and it was close to the campus where Gwen was going to school. Morgana was such a huge support, even though Gwen believed her ambitious journalism career was a joke. Gwen hadn't gone out properly in over a month and she was so glad that Morgana had suggested it; it was like she could read her mind.

Morgana reached down below the bed she was sitting on and pulled out her laptop, turning it on quickly and typing in a few words into the search bar. Gwen watched the reflection of the screen light up in Morgana's glasses, and she could make out a map, then a chart.

"How about we go to the boardwalk?" Morgana gazed up from her laptop, both happy and hopeful.

"Yes! I'd love to! Oh, It's been so long since I've been there... with school work and all," Gwen confessed. She brought both her hands that still clutched the chicken and the pizza to her chest and hugged her heart before jumping quickly at the cold of the frozen foods.

"Perfect, then," Morgana replied while laughing. Her eyes twinkled and she gave Gwen her best smile. "You deserve it."

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Today I went to the boardwalk with Gwen, its the first time we've been able to go out in so long, I've been caught up in work and she's been caught up in school. I love being with her so much, she makes me feel like I'm the only object that's ever existed, when we're out and about, she acts like we're still alone, which is _so _refreshing considering the girlfriends (and the occasional boyfriend) I used to have would like to show me off, like I'm a trophy. It sounds stupid I know, but it's been helping me cope with the dreams I've been having, you know, the ones that keep me up. They keep coming back. Last night, I dreamt of a young boy named Marlin or something and he was killed by this man and something happened and... I dunno, it was so _real_ though, and that's really what scares me, its like my dreams are a separate reality, I feel pain, and they're so crystal clear. I'm going to try to get some sleep soon though, me and Gwen are going to the movies tomorrow and I don't want to have baggie eyes like I've been having lately.

Love,

Morgana.

PS. I think I'm going to ask Gwen to marry me soon. Our anniversary is in a few weeks and it's been four long amazing faerie tale years, I hope she says yes! xoxo

PPS. Putting a spoon in the freezer and then putting it on your bags does NOT work.

* * *

><p>Gwen sat down at her desk. She pulled a very large and old book from her backpack and placed it on the table beside her lined writing paper before turning on her desk lamp and beginning to skim through the thick book, looking for a piece of information for her—<p>

Hands wrapped around her. There was a breath on her ear and a soft pleasant weight on her back, and Gwen giggled and turned her head. Morgana ran her hands along Gwen's body. "No..." Gwen protested. "I have homework!" but Morgana didn't listen. Her hand trailed down Gwen's torso until they hit her shorts, and her fingers slid down below the waistband until Morgana found what she was looking for.

Gwen arched her back and gently moaned into Morgana's hand, giving in to her touch, her passion, her love. She bit her lip, closing her eyes, and she let Morgana do what she wanted, what Gwen herself needed—together.

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I found something weird out today. Apparently, I've been writing in my sleep. I found an entry from yesterday that I don't remember writing but it's in my hand writing and I looked online and they said that it can be brought on from stress especially if you keep a diary but I'm paranoid and my insurance from this new job doesn't come into effect for another month and UGH! I don't know. The entry sounded like me so I think it's just me trying to get over these real dreams I was having. I'm not sure. Whatever, it's probably nothing. I used to sleep walk when I was little, so I guess its kinda like that, sleep writing, oh my god maybe I can get my sleep self to do Gwen's homework, then we can actually do something other than me watch TV while she sits at her desk.

Love,

Morgana

P.S Today I gave Gwen the "best orgasm" of her life (or so she said). I've never felt so special, I know that's really personal but I can't help but want to share that with someone, and considering how picky we women are with our woman parts, I get like 10+ points to awesome.

* * *

><p>"Gwen!"<p>

Gwen ran into the kitchen, a worried look on her face. "What? Morgana? What's wrong?" she said, panting slightly from her sprint. He looked at Morgana who was standing in front of the sink, her hands crossed over her chest.

"You told me you were going to do the dishes this time," Morgana said sternly and she reached into the sink. She held up a white glass plate that had some food caked on it, it appeared to be leftover spaghetti from a few nights ago. She took her finger and wiped it along the plate, picking up food, and then rubbed it between her fingers. "Does this look _washed _to you?" Morgana asked in a shrill half scream.

Gwen looked at her confused and distraught by her harsh tone. "Moe... I'm sorry," she said slowly, her voice giving off a subtle tone of fear and suspicion. "I was caught up in a proje–"

Morgana smashed the plate against the ground, causing Gwen to jump. Shards of glass scattered across the floor and it left an imprint on the tile. Gwen looked down at the plate and then back up to Morgana. "What is _wrong _with you?" she demanded in disbelief as she dropped to her knees and began to pick up the pieces of the destroyed plate, collecting them in her palm. Morgana never acted like this, _ever, _Gwen didn't understand why she was being like this.

"Maybe if I didn't have such a stupid bitch as a girlfriend I wouldn't _HAVE THIS PROBLEM!" _Morgana screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice edged like a blade andher face contorted in her rage. Her eyes were black against her pale skin and she was looking down at Gwen, who looked back up at her as if she has just stabbed her in her heart. Tears were streaming down her face at the sharpness of her words.

Suddenly, Morgana took a few steps back and held her hand to her head. Her eyes rolled into the back of their sockets and she stumbled further backwards against the sink.

"G-Gwen?" she asked weakly. She looked around the room as if she had just arrived there and her gaze shifted to the floor, her eyes falling on her wonderful, girlfriend crying on her knees and picking up shards of glass. Morgana dropped to the ground instantly, placing both hands on Gwen's shoulders.

"Oh my God, Gwen!" Morgana screamed. "Are you okay? What happened?" She started to pick up a few shards of glass. Gwen gave her an even deeper look of disbelief. Morgana looked up and saw her staring. "What? Gwen? What's wrong?"

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Something happened today... something I can't explain. Apparently I told Gwen she was a … "stupid bitch" and I don't remember any of it. As of now it's going to be a week before I get insurance and can see a doctor, Gwen is behind me 100%. I'm terrified. I've been finding more and more entries that I don't remember writing, about the end of the world, about someone named Merlin and about a dragon and, it's all getting too weird and too real. I'm scared I'm going to hurt Gwen again, maybe this time physically. I'm going to try a homeopathic remedy tonight to help me sleep. I hope it works. Oh, before, I go, I've noticed something weird as well, until a few days ago I signed my own name at the end of each entry I wrote in my sleep, but now it's become scribbles and it's morphing and becoming more weird, like its not _me _signing them, the handwriting is slowly changing too, maybe its because of how tired I've been lately, or maybe I'm just going abso-fucking-lutely insane. I've tried to decipher the letters but I can't make anything out, maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm so scared, seriously! I'm going to try a homeopathic remedy tonight to try to sleep, maybe this can help me with my sleep writing, maybe not, we'll see. :-)

Love,

Morgana

* * *

><p>Gwen awoke to the sound of shuffling. Her eyes tried to adjust to the darkness as she sat up and turned on the lamp by her bed post. Morgana turned around, her eyes red, looking like she had been crying. She had a large black bag in her hand and she was frantically stuffing clothes into it. Gwen got up and hurried to her, still in a daze from little sleep but she was coherent enough to realize something was seriously wrong.<p>

"Morgana? What are you doing?" Gwen asked scared and shaken. "What is this?"

Morgana ignored her and continued to stuff clothes into the bag, although she was beginning to sob. Gwen reached into Morgana's bag and grabbed her hand. The other woman tried to struggle but Gwen overpowered her and brought her hand to her chest, placing it right on her heart. Morgana turned to face her; she looked so sorry and scared.

"I can't... stay here... Gwen," Morgana said between heaves. "I'm so... so sorry." She pulled her hand from Gwen's breast and zipped up the bag and began to walk down the hallway.

Gwen fell to the floor. She wasn't crying. She couldn't. Shock had over taken her body, but still she flinched as she heard the front door slam and then again as Morgana's car started up. She kept thinking to herself, _This is just a dream. It's just a dream. Morgana loves me. She does. She'd never leave me. Not like this._

In the car, Morgana stopped just half a kilometer down the road and turned to her bag in the next seat. She leaned into the steering wheel and cried. She had to leave her Gwen, she had to. It wasn't safe for her anymore, it just wasn't—

_Don't stop driving._

Morgana looked up into the rear view mirror. There _she_ was, watching her, wanting her, taking control of her. Morgana twisted and contorted and the veins in her face became thick and prominent, and her eyes shinned a bright gold and she felt herself fall.

A few seconds later, Morgana opened her eyes. She gazed at the bag, finding herself once more, and then looked up to the mirror. She saw her reflection and smiled a wicked smile.

Gwen got up after a few minutes and walked to Morgana's side of their bed. She started to cry. She looked at Morgana's bed post and saw the picture of them together that had been taken a long time ago, back when they first started dating. It had been at the park, somewhere close to Gwen's home.

Gwen sat on Morgana's side of the bed and realized she was sitting on something hard. She stood up and started searching under the blankets until she pulled out an open black book, text in red ink. A gentle scent of iron drafted into the air from the pages.

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

Kill... I must kill. I MUST KILL! I MUST FUCKING KILL THE BITCH. THEFUCKINGBITCHTHATBITCH! I MUST KILL HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER HER! I FUCKING HATE HER! STUPID BITCH SHE'S TRYING TO TAKE MORGANA FROM ME FUCKING I'LL SLIT HER FUCKING THROAT. OH HOW I CAN'T WAIT TO FEEL HER BLOOD ON MY SKIN, TO DRINK IT, TO BATHE IN IT OH YES OH YES I FUCKINGIFUCK IFUCKINGWANTHERHEART. OOOOOOO I WONDER HOW IT TASTES. I BET IT TASTES LIKE SOMETHING DELICIOUS. OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES OH YES!

I'll kill that bitch, I'll kill that fucking bitch Gwen... if it's the last thing I do.

Love,

Morgause.


	14. Chapter 14: Dissolution

"Gwen, _move_!"

Gwen ducked behind a nearby tree where from behind there was a loud explosion only a moment later and she felt the ground shake. Gun in hand, she waited, listening for footsteps, that, when they came, were faint; her stalker was trying to be stealthy. But Gwen was better, faster, stronger, and, most of all, she had a cause.

She pulled a pink shard from her pocket, struck it against her gun, inhaled the smoke, and faded into the tree.

Bonding with a tree is probably the weirdest thing Gwen has ever done. She could see, but not like before. Now, her eyes and ears were the leaves and the roots, and the vibrations in the air and the ground, and it took a few seconds for her to regain her bearings, but Gwen was smart, and she adapted fast.

The attacker silently walked around the tree, invisible and quiet, and as long as he stayed slow silent, his enchant would remain in effect. He chuckled to himself as he thought he had the upper hand. Knife drawn, heart racing, mind calm and confident, he leaped behind the tree, popping out of his invisible state and ready to deliver the killing blow... until he felt a blunt sting and a large hard stick against his back, which pushed against him so fast that it carried him up into the air, launching him across the forest floor. He landed limber enough but quickly found roots coming out of the ground, tangling his feet and holding him to place.

Gwen felt herself return and she phased out of the tree, gun in hand, walking confidently to the man bound in wood. She held the gun up to his head. "Game over." she said. The attacker's eyes were cold and unnerving and he closed them just as she pulled the trigger. A large ball of plastic expelled from the tip of the gun, which hit the man square in the forehead and splattered red paint all over his face.

"Ouch! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" screamed the masked man. "Oh my _God, _that huuuurts!" He pulled his mask of to reveal himself. His hair was short and brown, and his face was tan but his European background was still there, hidden under the tint of hard outdoor labor.

"I'm sorry," Gwen mocked. "Did I hurt you?"

Gwen and Lance had been working on training—Gwen for almost a year now. She had come a long way; she wasn't the broken fragile girl she had been just after Morgana had left her. Now, she was tough. She was dedicated, strong, and of course, she was passionate.

The roots around Lance's feet became loose and Lance stepped out of them to walk towards Gwen.

"You did really, really well," Lance congratulated, and he looked at Gwen tenderly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're going to do fine on the test. Seriously, that was... I've never seen anyone use a Bond crystal like that." He placed his hand behind his head and shrugged, and Gwen replied with a cocky smile.

* * *

><p>Dear Diary,<p>

It's been exactly one year since I left Gwen. I still think about her every day. I'm going to America soon. There is word of a man who can help me over come this... creature... this monster inside of me. I can feel her getting stronger each day, and that scares the shit out of me. I've learned of an organization that helps with magical people like me, people who are having issues coping with the trauma that magic can bring to those who are... iono too old? I guess. His name is Gaius and he's arranged to meet me in three days. I haven't told him everything yet, I don't wanna scare him off. Oh Lord, I probably sound like I'm mad.

I'm scared. I'm really really scared.

Love,

Morgana

* * *

><p>Gwen stood in front of a small group of people—the Council—which consisted of maybe two or three people barely younger than fifty. They all wore long ceremonial cloaks and didn't show any sign of emotion, any sign of humanity. The room was dark and damp, and the only light came in from a skylight at the very peak of the room that was more than fifty feet up. It gave an ominous and intimidating haze.<p>

Gwen had been waiting for this, ever since Morgana had left, ever since her magic manifested and her alter-ego "Morgause" had taken over here, ever since her heart shattered. And she had been waiting—waiting for so long, and so patiently. If she made it into the Knights, she would have access to limitless resources, weapons, magic, and people who could reconnect her with Morgana.

She pulled out her necklace, from which an engagement hug from the end. Gwen had found it, left behind in Morgause's wake. It had been meant for her, and it gave her strength. She kissed the jewel for good luck, and watched as one of the members walked up to her.

"It is time." he said.

They all surrounded her slowly, forming a circle around her and pulled out their weapons of choice: a book, a knife, a cane, a wand, a gem; but Gwen was ready. She needed to do this, to stop the purge, to stop the end of the world, to save _her. _She placed her goggles down on her face, gave her ring one last kiss before tucking it under her shirt, and pulled two sais from her back. She crouched in position, ready. Time to dance.

* * *

><p>Morgana found herself suddenly hesitant. The rain was cold, but the potential future felt colder, and the old door produced her with a realization. What if he couldn't help? What if he couldn't save her? Morgana clenched her fists, her mind racing back to the past, to when she was happy, before this magic, before Morgause, before her life ended as she—<p>

The door opened suddenly and Morgana jumped back, almost falling down the slippery stoop.

"Well, my child," Gaius said. "Are you going to spend all your time here outside in the rain?" He lifted one eye brow and gave her a curious look. Morgana looked shocked and cold. Gaius stepped back and waved his hand inward, inviting her in. She gave him a peculiar look and cautiously walked into the bring room, happy to get out of the rain.

Morgana sipped from the small white china. The tea was refreshing and helped calm her down and warm her up. Gaius finished mixing his own tea and sat down, across the table from her. He gazed at her, thinking. Morgana could feel the hairs on her back stand up, she wasn't a power witch, by any means, but she could feel the magic that Gaius had inside him, it was crippling, like being submerged miles under water.

"So, my child, why are you here?" Gaius asked.

But Gaius didn't really need to ask, because she could see Morgana's aura—there were definitely two distinct different wavelengths, as different as night and day, yet as codependent as a baby and its mother. Morgana took another sip of her tea and set it down on her coaster and cleared her throat.

"I have... a-another person... uhm, ahem," Morgana took another sip of her tea before continuing, "living inside of me."

Gaius raised an eyebrow and sat back in his seat.

"She manifests sometimes, but not always, and she's very powerful," Morgana confessed quietly, feeling her eyes well up with tears. It felt good to talk to someone about this. Morgana's mind gently faded to Gwen and their old life, and she took a deep breath and sighed.

Gaius leaned forward and placed his elbows on the table, clasping his hands together. "Tell me _everything._"

* * *

><p>Gwen recoiled hard, flying back. She dropped her legs and used the friction from her shoes to slow her down, leaning forward and placing her hand on the ground to steady herself and regain her balance. Her eyes darted around the dark room. It had been so long since they started, and she was starting to feel herself breaking. Blood dripped from her lip, her eye brow, and her left arm, which was horribly disfigured, and whispers surrounded her, falling from the shadows into her ears.<p>

"_Give up._"

"_You won't win._"

"_You can't._"

Gwen felt a sharp pain rocket through her back. She turned to see one of the Council standing, arm extended, hand flat and parallel to his body, a gentle wisp of smoke rising from his palm. Gwen fell to her knees. Her body was fading, but she couldn't fail now, she _couldn't_. She waited, and they surrounded her, they seemed tired too—a few of them were limping, and one was hunched over, holding his stomach.

Gwen had put up a good fight, and a brave one.

"_It's time to give up._"

"_Surrender to the darkness._"

Gwen started to laugh; she sat back on her heels and laughed into the sky. The Council looked at her confused, exchanging glances between each other, but Gwen spread her knees and laughed even harder. Her eyes were alive with passion and lust. The Council looked down in horror as they realized that there was, hidden under her, a small orange crystal, blinking rapidly, indicating its peak in power.

"Check mate," Gwen whispered.

Gwen leaped into the air and threw a sais down at the crystal, shattering it. It was forced to explode and the fire engulfed the Council members, knocking them all back and fully illuminating the shadowed chamber. Gwen watched as the fire roared upward at her.

She closed her eyes, and let the flames wash her sins away.

Gwen's eyes shot open. She lifted up out of the bed in the same instant, only to find that Lance was sitting next to her, sleeping in the bedside chair. He looked unwashed and dreadful. She reached her hand over and touched his leg, causing him to jump in his sleep. He looked around, dazed, before laying his eyes on Gwen. He got up quickly and knelt beside her, taking her hand in his.

"You... are a crazy stupid woman you know that? You've been bed ridden, healing for almost a week," Lance scolded. His eyes were full of fear and anxiety. Gwen had never noticed how deep his eyes seemed to go; it was like looking to a well, or the night sky, infinite. She turned away to look at her body. There was not a single burn on her. She lifted her arms and checked the rest of her skin.

"They were able to fully heal you," Lance explained, reading her mind. "You were lucky—over ninety percent of your body was covered in burns. Your legs had been burned to the bone, you had no eyes, no ears, no nose," Gwen reached up and grabbed her nose, "and no fingers." Lance gave her a you-know-you're-really-crazy look. "You also managed to severely injure one of the Council, and by severely injure I mean you actually made him have to swap to a new shell, which is impressive from someone with absolutely no magic in her blood. They liked you so much that they're going to give you special training, so you can be an officer like me in half the time." Lance shook his head in disbelief. "You never cease to amaze me, Gwen."

A small and beautiful smile broke out on his face, his skin wrinkling and folding just right. Gwen moved closer to him and pulled him close, gently resting her lips on his. The kiss was brief but it was powerful, and Lance pulled back and his smile extended even farther.

Gwen gave him a proud and cheerful look, the first she'd given anyone in a long time. Morgana's ring and her necklace had been removed when she was being healed and, normally, she would have noticed, but something about Lance made her forget about everything else, something about him made her feel like it was okay, it was time to move on.

* * *

><p>Morgana sighed and she turned her head away from Gaius, feeling ashamed. She had just finished explaining everything: Gwen, Morgause, about her magic, and about her insanity. Gaius had listened intently, but he did not speak. She'd figured out that he liked to be cryptic like that; it added flavor and style to his reputation.<p>

"You are not crazy," Gaius stated, as if reading Morgana's mind. She looked at him with a bewildered expression before her eyes dropped to the table, then to her cold tea. Morgana had been so paranoid as of late, she couldn't help but want to make things right inside herself, to be whole again, and do it all without Morgause killing someone or draining her bank account or without Morgana waking up the next morning with someone she had never met.

"It will take a lot of time to overcome and control Morgause, but you are not crazy," Gaius explained. "It is not for a woman of your age to develop an alter-ego when magical powers begin to show themselves this late in life. She is not, however, your enemy, you can defeat her, and, over time, control her as if she was your own. She will always be a separate consciousness, but you will no longer find her taking control of you, unless you want her to, of course."

Gaius took a sip of his tea and Morgana nodded her head eagerly. "You will stay here for the next few months," he said, and he stood up, beckoning her to follow, "I will teach you everything you need to know, my child."

Morgana felt the weight of the world lift from her shoulders. For the first time in a really long time, she felt like she had a chance, a real chance at being "normal" at being "happy". She thought of Gwen, of her love, of her soul, and thought about getting back to her. She felt like letting go for so long, but no anymore, she couldn't. She needed to get back to her.

Two realities unfolded, as Morgana worked to control Morgause, Gwen trained to be a better Knight. The more Morgana worked to get back, the more Gwen worked to move forward, and the stronger Morgana's magic became, the stronger Gwen's love for Lance became. As time moved on Morgana was closing in, ready to get back to Gwen, ready to be hers again, and Gwen was kissing Lance on the podium of the chapel, ready to walk down the aisle as his wife.

* * *

><p>A year passed, and Morgana walked up to Gwen's doorstep. She knocked quickly, and stood patiently, a stark contrast to her first visit to Gaius.<p>

"I got it!" Morgana heard a man yell, and her heart sank into her stomach. She watched the door open and Lance stood there. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Morgana hesitated. She noticed the ring on his hand, and she felt scared and confused. Of course, of course Gwen had moved on. Morgana felt stupid and silly. This wasn't a fairy tale. She shook her head. "No... No I think I got the wrong address," she lied.

"Who the fuck is it?" Gwen asked irritably as she walked up from behind Lance. She froze at the sight before her.

"M-M... Morgana?"

Gwen sighed into her hands and looked across the fire to Merlin and Arthur. Arthur looked bored, but Merlin had tears flowing down his face. Gwen glanced over to Lance then up at Morgana, who was watching as Merlin started to cry. She rolled her eyes.

"It wasn't _that _bad," she said bluntly. "We were foolish and life just had... different plans for us."

Merlin still couldn't help but cry at how horrible and depressing the tale was. Is this what he and Arthur were destined to have? A lost love, a lost life?

Arthur looked at Merlin and punched him in the arm. "Stop crying you big baby," he teased.

Merlin looked at him, confused, "Why—why did you punch me?" he asked, rubbing the spot where Arthur hit him and he gave Arthur a look of irritation and pain.

"It's... you know, supposed to cheer you up," Arthur replied lamely, if not a little guiltily. He hadn't meant to hurt Merlin.

Merlin rolled his eyes and Gwen rolled hers as well. "Well," she started, "that's enough story time. Morgana has given us important information about the Drinkers. They're going to perform a ritual to release the dragon, and then shoot it out of the sky." She looked to the entire party. "At first light, we'll move to sabotage them. Morgana has powerful magic and will help break us in. If we do this right, we can have the dragon on our side and stop them from harvesting his power. It's a double win, understood?"

Everyone nodded their heads. It was time to take action.

* * *

><p>Merlin slept in the same tent as Arthur and Gwen with Lance, Morgana sat out by the campfire that night, lamenting over her past mistakes. Everyone was happy. Why wasn't she? She leaned her head into her hand and thought more about Gwen and their old life, the life she would never get back. She heard rustling and saw Merlin exit his tend, walking towards her. He stopped a few feet before the camp fire and looked down at her.<p>

"So... the plane thing?" he asked quietly. He looked concerned.

"Just me fucking with you," Morgana replied, chuckling, "Gaius asked me to keep you in check so I figured why not have a little fun?" She gave him a wide smile before patting the empty space next to her with her hand, a signal for him to join her.

"Oh... okay," Merlin said, pleased with his answer. He walked around and sat next to Morgana by the campfire. "That was kinda mean, you know."

Morgana didn't say anything, the fire cackled and dwindled down, Merlin tossed a new log on it and watched as lighter than air sparks filled the area above the fire, millions of little sparks, of little hopes, of little dreams. The time passed, and Merlin was the first to break the silence.

"So... you and Gwen?" he asked.

Morgana chuckled. "Yeah... It was the best time of my life."

Merlin watched her and could see regret and sorrow fill her. She looked to Merlin and then suggestively to his tent, her eyebrows raised. "What about you and Arthur? You, uh, tappin' that?" Merlin blushed a bright red and Morgana bellowed a loud laugh, she was positive that she was going wake someone but she didn't care; it had been so long since she'd had a good laugh. She let her laugh die and placed a hand on Merlin's head, ruffling his hair. "It's obvious that you care for him."

Merlin looked to his shoes, "He doesn't feel the same way..." Merlin confessed.

Morgana reached around him and pulled him close, Merlin rested his head on her shoulder and she ran her fingers along the side of his face. "It's alright, Gwen doesn't feel the same thing about me anymore either."

They sat there, Merlin resting, finding sanctuary in her touch. It was good to know that he wasn't alone; that he wasn't the only person who's love didn't love them back.

Morgana brought her arm back and nudged Merlin with her shoulder and gave him a shallow smile. Merlin looked to Morgana's face, then to her shoulder, then to her face again, and then nudged her back harder than she had before. They shoulder shoved each other playfully before calming down and appreciating the company of each other, the warmth of the fire and the gentle blanket of stars in the sky. They looked at each other and shared a smile, a smile that said more than words ever could, pain, suffering, the agony of love, the terror of losing, and the regret of time. It was Morgana's turn to rest her head on Merlin's shoulder, enjoying the soft comfort of a friend. Together they let the essence of night over take their turmoil, just for a second, and spent the rest of the night talking.


	15. Chapter 15: Elimination

"Merlin, are you going to tell me what we're doing out here?"

"Nope."

"Merlin, seriously, we've been walking for hours and you have yet to take this blind fold off of me."

"Just a little bit more, sire."

"Merlin, as your king I command you to tell me what we are doing."

"Arthur, as your boyfriend I demand you shut up and stop being a spoiled git. We're almost there."

Merlin pulled the blindfold off of Arthur, whose eyes adjusted quickly. He then realized that they were in a clearing in the woods—there was nothing out of the ordinary to see. Arthur looked around and then looked to Merlin, tapping his foot impatiently as he did.

Merlin gave him glare and walked to the middle of the clearing. Arthur heard him say some things, and then there was a loud roar. Arthur pulled out his sword and looked to the sky as a huge dragon descended.

Merlin laughed, thinking that Arthur was going to piss his pants. "Come, Arthur." he beckoned.

"Are you sure... it's safe?" Arthur asked hesitantly. Merlin nodded and then began to climb up on the dragon's back.

Arthur cautiously followed, and he heard Merlin say a few more things that Arthur couldn't understand, and then the dragon took off into the sky. The scene was beautiful—Arthur could see all over Camelot, and he quickly forgot that he was king, or that he had responsibilities, or that he was in danger of falling. None of that mattered, now.

Merlin turned around and smiled at him. "First time flying, eh?" he mocked. He had a cocky smile on his face as he watched Arthur's expressions. He felt great being able to make Arthur feel so good, to show him a side of the word that no one else could ever see.

The dragon roared and began to fly higher, giving them an even greater view of the world Arthur ruled.

Arthur couldn't help but tear up. He wasn't much of a crier for beautiful things but this was incredible—he could see for _ages _and the feeling of being lifted, carried, of soaring, it was too much. Arthur turned to Merlin and smiled; this was perfect, everything, the dragon, Merlin, _flying, _it was the best time he'd ever had. He pulled Merlin close and kissed him gently, doing his best to not lose balance on the back of the giant beast.

"I love you so much, Merlin."

* * *

><p>"No way."<p>

Merlin giggled and took another bite of his soup. Morning was starting to rise over the forest and animals were starting to spring to life. Soft cool mountain air lingered and provided Merlin and Morgana with company as they talked and carried about, being sure to be quiet enough to not wake anyone up.

"So... he kissed you... kinda, in the dark, _kinda, _at a planetarium?" Morgana asked, trying to piece together the story Merlin just told.

"Well..." Merlin began to explain, "I'm not really sure if he meant it, I mean I kinda leaned in too and it was really awkward and then he totally freaked out and ran away for almost three hours and we mutually used the excuse that it was really dark but... you could kinda see what you were doing." Merlin shook his head and blushed. "I was so sure he was into me, but then he does things like that and we agreed that it was an accident. Ugh." Merlin took another bite.

Morgana nodded her head in agreement. "I know what that's like... not know what the other person is thinking. It's a real gamble, love, you know?"

Merlin nodded to her back, still eating. It was amazing how quickly they had bonded. Merlin loved talking to Morgana; she was so much like him, smart, funny, charming, witty, everything a guy could ask for, well, if Merlin were straight that was.

Morgana and Merlin jumped as they heard rustling from one of the tents. They watched as Arthur slowly walked out in nothing but his boxers. A thin layer of hair ran down from his chest to his torso, along his tight stomach, carried by thin yet muscular legs. Morgana gave Merlin a wide eyed look as Arthur looked around the forest, then to Morgana, then to Merlin, then to his soup.

"... food," Arthur grumbled. He clumsily walked—well, stumbled over to Merlin, reached down and took his bowl and ruffled his hair with his hand and began to eat his soup.

Merlin couldn't take his eyes off the fact that his face was level with Arthur's boxers, which had no button and were hanging slightly open. Next to him, Morgana watched in amusement as Merlin tried to nonchalantly glance into Arthur's boxers but was quickly deterred as Arthur handed Merlin his bowl of soup back and walked off towards the forest.

"Uhm... Arthur?" Merlin asked. "Where are you going?"

"To _piss _Merlin," Arthur yelled as he continued to walk. "Would you like to come and hold it for me?"

Merlin went bright red at the request. He knew it was a joke, but the thought of holding Arthur's anything was enough to tighten his jeans. Arthur continued to walk off and as soon as he was out of sight Morgana turned to Merlin, her mouth a wide open grin.

"He's kinda... really hot," Morgana stated bluntly.

Merlin nodded and smiled in agreement, taking another bite of his soup. Morgana gave him a suggestive look, and said,

"And... he's definitely into you," at which Merlin chocked on his food and looked at her. He opened his mouth to say something but Morgana interrupted. "No, really, he's into you. I'm a beautiful woman, and he didn't even _glance _at me, but you," Morgana chuckled, "his eyes never left you."

Merlin stared off in the direction that Arthur had gone. He put his soup down on the ground and placed his head in his hands. Morgana rested a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle rub. Merlin couldn't help but wonder. Did Arthur really like him? The Elder had shown him a world where they were together, maybe, just maybe, that wasn't a simple illusion, that just maybe, it was his destined future.

* * *

><p>A few hours passed and the sun was high in the sky. As Gwen and Lance walked out from their tent together, Morgana did her best not to look heartbroken, but anyone with a brain could tell that she was. Gwen sat down and starting eating breakfast that Merlin had prepared for them all. Arthur came out of his tent a few minutes later, well rested, and dressed this time. He sat next to Merlin, even though there was little room on that log and a lot of room on the empty log just a few feet away. Morgana gave Merlin one of her looks and Merlin turned away, blushing.<p>

"So..." Gwen began. "From what Morgana has told me, the ritual started last night, the dragon has to be broken out, then his armor penetrated with a spear that's been cursed with the soul of a child." Merlin and Arthur gave her a surprised look, and she took notice. "Yeah, a bunch of fucked up fuckers I know, but luckily for us, that ritual lasts a very long time. They've been going at it for almost ten so we should still have another ten to get in and prepare. Now, this is the important thing: we are not going to stop the releasing ritual. Instead, we are going to destroy the spear. Merlin, did you read up on being a dragon lord?"

Merlin nodded his head. "Yeah, I should be able to call the dragon back to us no matter where I am; I learned a few words, but I haven't had a chance to test the magic yet."

Gwen raised her hand and shook her head. "That's fine, we don't exactly have any dragons for you to test it on anyway. Just make sure you can tell him that we're his friends and that we're going to help him. We don't want to be burnt to crisps by his dragon breath. Now, I need to warn you all," Gwen leaned in close to the embers of the fire, her expression became cold and serious. "The Drinkers that will be there are going to be very powerful and very skilled. You all need to be on your toes and don't forget, they are very resilient to magic. Morgana is powerful enough that she should be able to still kill a few if needed but the rest of us will have to use hand to hand combat," Gwen looked to each person, "and if any of you want to leave or back out now, say so, I won't blame you, we should have back up but it seems that most of the other Knights are back up elsewhere, this will be up to _us._"

The group nodded in agreement, no one was going to give up, not this far in, not when they were so close to everything.

Merlin looked to Arthur who was looking down at his shoes, scared. Merlin wished he had stayed behind, where it was safe. Arthur had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

* * *

><p>Arthur trailed in the back of the group as they set off. He watched Merlin and Morgana joke around in front of them. He felt jealousy well up inside of him. He wished he could be Morgana, a pretty girl, someone Merlin would want, someone Merlin would love, someone Merlin could see himself with. He turned his head and tried to distract himself with the forest or the travel, but nothing could keep his gaze long from Merlin and Morgana.<p>

It didn't take long to get to the mountain that held Kilgharrah. It was tall and slender, rocky and bare. Gwen stopped walking and turned to the group, satisfaction and determination reflected in her gaze. "Well, here we are," she announced. "Are you all ready?" The group nodded in agreement. "Perfect then. Morgana, open the portal."

Morgana spread her hands and began to chant in Old English, and a light green bubble, no bigger than a football, appeared in front of her. Inside it was the scene of a cave, somewhere deep in the mountain. Morgana closed her hands and the bubble became larger and then opened into an actual hole in the air. Gwen tossed their bags in and then crawled in, the rest of the group soon to follow.

Once inside, Gwen pulled out a flash light and an old map, similar to the one Merlin had seen on the table at home. She walked briskly and helped them navigate through the deep cold labyrinth that was the mountain. The deeper they went, the louder they could hear the Drinker's chanting, doing their best to concentrate, to break the chains that held the mighty Kilgharrah.

Gwen stopped short of a drop off, the room was huge and in the center was a giant dragon, his scales we're a blood red and his body was held in chains, rooted into the side of the mountain, engraved with words of power, strong enough to restrain any beast. Surrounding the dragon at the base were at least thirty drinkers, the group could see the spear, resting on the back of the only Drinker not channeling.

"He must be the leader," Gwen pointed out.

They also noticed something even more disturbing. In a small cage to the back of the room was a young child, who looked beaten and tattered. He was barely wearing any clothes, and looked as if he hadn't been fed in days. He lay against the back of the cage, sobbing gently.

"We're going to save him, right?" Arthur asked.

Gwen turned to him, looking offended. "Of course we are you fucking idiot, you think I'd just let a kid die?"

"No, no..." Arthur said apologetically. "Just wanted to make sure, is all."

The drinkers finished channeling and the chains around the dragon began to shatter and break. The dragon roared and the leader walked over to the cage that held the boy. Arthur drew his small sword; Gwen drew her sais, needing something stronger for this battle; Lance pulled a bow from his back; Morgana pulled out her tomb; and Merlin, well, he just raised his fists.

Gwen kissed her blades and exhaled slowly, feeling her spiritual energy focus and her body calm. "Now or never," she stated, and she jumped off the edge, ready to save the world.

* * *

><p>After they had landed in the field, Merlin turned back to the dragon and said a few things that Arthur couldn't understand before the dragon flew off. Normally, Kilgharrah couldn't be bothered to be a "horse", but this time he had made an exception. He was quite fond of Merlin and Arthur's mating rituals and wanted to ensure their happiness, considering Merlin had ensured his.<p>

Merlin turned to Arthur with a large grin, but that quickly faded as he realized Arthur was looking distressed. "What's the matter, sire?" he asked tentatively, walking up close to Arthur. A small glimmer of confusion and disappointment spread across his face. "I thought you were enjoying yourself?"

"I was Merlin, I was!" Arthur insisted. His eyes fell to the floor and he looked even more troubled. "The problem, Merlin, is that I can't do this," Arthur said, gesturing to the open field, and to Merlin, and to himself. "I can't do this hidden relationship."

Merlin's heart sank into his stomach. What was he saying? "Arthur..." Merlin said slowly. "I don't... I don't understand?"

Arthur turned away from Merlin and took a few steps. He sighed into his hands and then turned around. "The people are expecting me to marry, Merlin, they need me to be with someone who is strong, someone who can rule with me, someone who can be a gentle voice for the people." Merlin nodded in reluctant agreement; he knew this would come someday. Arthur needed to marry a woman who would be a wonderful queen, someone who would ensure his rein was a compassionate and benevolent one.

Arthur walked up to Merlin and placed both hands on his shoulders, his gaze was deep and gentle. Merlin turned away, unable to keep his stare.

"Which is why, Merlin, today, I am going to announce that I am no longer a bachelor. Today I am going to propose."

Merlin looked at Arthur confused and surprised. He'd had no idea Arthur had another woman in his life, let alone knew one well enough to marry. What other secrets did Arthur keep from him?

"I want you to be part of this, Merlin," Arthur said dearly. Merlin looked to his shoes, doing his best not to cry. He felt Arthur pull him close. "Come, I want you to be by my side," Arthur whispered into Merlin's ear. He pulled away and turned around, walking off into the forest.

Merlin followed, and did his best not to sob.

A few hours later they reached the gates of Camelot. It had been a silent journey with Arthur leading and Merlin sulking behind. Merlin quietly followed Arthur as he walked through the town, waving at people, beckoning them to follow. Merlin was confused but didn't say anything. He was too hurt and too cold to be able to say anything without seeming stupid or desperate or pathetic. He stumbled behind Arthur as they walked to the center of town.

"Please, people!" Arthur yelled, and the crowd fell silent. "I have something I need to say. As of late, you all have been asking me to take a partner, a partner to help me rule, a partner to help keep this kingdom together, and intact." The crowed became very dense as more people joined and Arthur turned around to look at Merlin, who was looking around for the woman Arthur was going to propose to.

"Today," Arthur continued, "I have decided who my partner is going to be and who I want to rule with me. I did not make this choice lightly, and I hope you will all join me in celebration tonight."

The King turned around and walked to Merlin, who was now looking down at his shoes. He took his finger and lifted Merlin's chin, meeting his gaze, and then the crowd gasped as Arthur knelt down on one knee, messing up his royal clothes against the dirty floor. Merlin looked down at him in awe and started to blush, what was Arthur doing? He watched the King reach into his back pocket and pull out something shiny. Merlin's heart started to flutter in anticipation, was he going to ask him to –

"Will you, Merlin, be my lawfully wedded husband?" Arthur asked.


	16. Chapter 16: Isolation

Gwen hit the ground. Running, she elegantly darted forward, taking out the first drinker in her sights. Her sais plummeted deep into its head, its life leaving almost instantly. She placed her hand to her ear, triggering her com piece. "One down," she said.

The room went into an uproar. The dragon thrashed about in the tight prison he was in, because even though the chains were broken the mountain walls still held him back. The Drinkers surrounding him were tired, but not out, and they turned to Gwen, ready to attack. The leader ran to the cage to get the boy.

"How did she fall without getting hurt?" Arthur asked, ready to jump down along side Gwen.

Lance pulled out four thumb tacks from a small case and handed them to Arthur. "Place those in the soles of your shoes. They'll make you a hundred and fifty pounds lighter. It's how she moves so quickly."

Arthur nodded and placed two tacks in each shoe, then stood up. He jumped off the cliff and gently glided down, sword in hand, his eye set dead on a drinker. Arthur brought his sword down on the Drinker's head but it moved so fast that Arthur had actually sliced its after image. He turned to see the Drinker behind him, panting. Arthur swung at him but he was too fast and dodged each attack.

Gwen pulled her sais out of a Drinker and looked to Arthur who was having trouble with his. She rolled her eyes and rushed to him, putting her both of her sais in his neck and crossing them, decapitating him. She looked to Arthur. "Do you even know how to fucking use that thing?" she asked impatiently. Before Arthur could respond she threw him a light blue crystal. "Break that and inhale the smoke," she commanded before continuing to attack another drinker.

Gwen turned to see a large blue orb of Magic coming her way, the Drinker casting it looked pleased, a large grin on his face. Gwen raised her sais and caught it, twirling it and then bringing it around in an arch, launching the spell back at the Drinker, returning his smile with a cocky smirk. He screamed as it knocked him back into the cave wall, crushing his body in the process.

Arthur looked at the crystal in his hand and threw it at the floor, it broke and a small puff of blue smoke surrounded him. He took a deep breath and felt the crystal's magic enter him, morph him, evolve him. His pupils became the size of pins and then expanded as far as it could, giving Arthur no iris. He could see everything, he could judge distance, he knew just how to wield his sword, just how to swing it. He saw a Drinker to his right and leaped at him, his mind focused. He had the upper hand; the Drinker was too focused on Gwen to dodge, to defend.

Arthur was ready to slice through him. His sword came fast but stopped short of the Drinkers neck. The Drinker quickly turned to face him, his face, he was a child, no older than twelve or thirteen. Arthur's mind went blank. _This was a child, _he thought, _A kid_. The Drinker noticed his presence and slowly turned, the blade resting against his shoulder. An evil smirk crossed his face and he lifted his hand, palm flat, a red orb began to grow, only inches from Arthur's chest.

Merlin and Lance were still perched on the cliff and Merlin watched in horror as Arthur just stood there.

"Good... bye," the Drinker chuckled. Arthur was paralyzed with fear and guilt.

A loud crack filled the air and the Drinker in front of Arthur fell to the ground, an arrow deep in his skull. Lance pulled his bow string back a second time and launched another arrow. The room filled with another crack as the arrow broke the sound barrier and the Drinker behind Gwen fell to his knees.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Merlin held his hand out to the dragon. He opened his book and spoke a few words. The dragon turned around in surprise.<p>

"Ah, young warlock," the dragon said. "It's such an honor to see you here." Merlin looked to him in shock, he knew he wasn't speaking English and he was amazed that he could understand him without ever having learned this language.

"Right," Merlin said. "We're trying to help you, to free you."

The dragon chuckled. "Such irony, considering you were the one that put me here."

Merlin gave him a confused stare—was he referring to his past life? He didn't have time to contemplate this. "I need you to be a weapon for us against the Purge," Merlin said.

"And why should I do that?" Kilgharrah asked.

"Because... I am your master?" Merlin responded coolly. He puffed out his chest and raised his head, looking down upon the dragon with superiority and power. The dragon tilted his head.

"If you get me out of here safely, I will do your bidding," the dragon responded, his voice was fierce but he remained calm, treating Merlin as if he was his king.

_Perfect, _Merlin thought to himself. Merlin was then distracted by the battle below. He was going to ask the dragon to help, but then he realized that his flame would burn all, friend or foe, so he sat back in horror as Gwen danced around the Drinkers and Arthur just stood there.

"Lance," Gwen said into her com, "Arthur is choking, can you get Morgana to pull him up to you?"

Lance relayed the message to Morgana, who turned to a page of her tome, closed her eyes, and summoned ropes off the edge of the cliff. They came alive and slithered to Arthur, gripping him and pulling him up with them.

Merlin felt useless, he was completely useless. He looked to Arthur who looked scared and guilty. Merlin turned his head to the battlefield. Most of the Drinker's were dead, the Dragon was still roaring and thrashing but it was getting him nowhere. Morgana stood to the ledge and she held her hands up, creating a Y with her body. The mountain shook and a large rock floated down from the ceiling. She held up one hand and the rock split into hundreds of shards. Morgana's eyes became white as she channeled them into the battle ground.

Gwen danced around the shards, her body fluid like water and she tumbled, flipped, glided, and twisted around the rocks, her shoes barely ever touching the ground. She watched around her and Morgana took out most of the Drinkers. Only the ones that could create a force field survived.

"Stop, or the boy dies!"

Gwen stopped moving and Morgana stopped channeling her spell. The remainder of the rocks fell to the ground; their collision was the only sound in the room aside from Gwen's panting. They all turned to the leader, who had the boy from the cage in his hands, a knife at his throat. He backed up towards the exit and the three remaining Drinker's followed. Gwen held up a sais at him and Morgana floated down beside her, tome in hand, ready. The boy squirmed and cried in his hands, fear and pain consuming his face.

"Let him go!" Gwen commanded.

The leader chuckled. "You think you have the right to command me?" he asked mockingly. "You're the one at the disadvantage here, my sweet. Your... morals hold you back."

Gwen raised her hand to her ear. "Lance," she said, "you need to take the shot."

"I don't think I can hit him from here."

"You need to do it anyway!"

"I can't—"

"Do it, Lance!"

Another loud crack filled the air, followed by an ominous silence. Gwen watched in horror as the leader looked cross eyed at the arrow that was suspended in mid air, the tip barely in his forehead, a small stream of blood flowing how his face. He waved his hand and the arrow removed itself and turned in the exact opposite direction to came from.

"Silly boy," he said.

Merlin turned in horror and saw Lance grunt. The arrow protruding from his chest, Lance fell forward and off the cliff, falling, falling, falling, until he hit the ground with a soft thud. Gwen and Morgana turned to him in horror, before turning back to the—

"Where'd he go?" Morgana asked. The leader and the Drinkers had disappeared.

A loud voice echoed through the room, "Time to die in your tomb, kiddies!"

The walls of the mountain began to shake and rumble, rocks fell from the ceiling. The dragon roared and screamed and as the top of the mountain collapsed. He crawled up and out, flying away into the distance, roaring as he went.

Gwen ran to Lance. Arthur and Merlin used the ropes Morgana made to shimmy down the side of the wall, meeting Gwen at the bottom. Morgana held up her hands and created another green bubble, in it was the calm outside. Gwen picked Lance up and pulled him into the bubble, the rest of them followed just as the mountain came down.

* * *

><p>Gwen placed Lance on the cold ground. Blood trickled from his mouth and the wound in his chest, staining his shirt dark red. Morgana crouched next to her and held out her hand, a white aura emitted from it and it poured into the wound. Gwen looked up to her, hope in her eyes.<p>

Morgana pulled her hand back and looked to Gwen, helplessness filled her face. "I'm sorry Gwen," she said. "I don't... I'm not strong enough to heal this wound."

"No!" Gwen screamed. "_No_! Don't you say that! _Don't you say that!_" She looked down at her Lance and put her hand on the side of his face. Lance looked up at her, trying to talk, but only little gasps of blood and air came out. "No, no, no baby. Don't try to speak, save your breath," Gwen said, and she turned to Merlin. "You. You do something. Save him like you saved Arthur!"

Merlin ran to sit down by Lance. He placed his hand over the wound and tried his best, but he couldn't summon the power again. Gwen looked at him impatiently. "Well? WELL?" she screamed.

Merlin couldn't meet her gaze. Tears rolled down his face. "I... It won't work," Merlin said. Gwen's face cringed at the sounds of those words. She felt a tug on her shirt.

"Its... alright.." Lance whispered weakly. He lifted his hand and took off his wedding band, and reaching for hers, he placed it in her palm, and then closed her fingers.

"No no no no no!" Gwen cried. Tears dropped from her cheeks down to her chin and then onto Lance. "You're _not _going to die."

Merlin, Arthur, and Morgana couldn't help but cry with her. The moment was so powerful. Arthur knelt next to Merlin and Merlin turned to him, burying his face into Arthur's chest. Morgana brought the sleeve of her dress to her face, wiping the tears away, feeling guilty that she couldn't help, that Gwen was so hurt, that she was worthless right now.

Lance smiled at her, his teeth stained red with blood. "It's... cliché... but always know..." Lance coughed and groaned in pain, his head was light and his body was cold. He could feel himself falling, falling into the darkness. His lifted his hand and placed it on Gwen's cheek. Beautiful Gwen, wonderful Gwen, amazing Gwen. He knew it was his time, he knew this was the way he was to go, the way he was to depart into the afterlife. He brushed a tear along her face. "Know..."

The stars blinked as they joined Gwen in her tears, watching as Lance gently slipped from this world, and joined the kingdom of the many valiant heroes that gave their lives for the greater good.

_Always know, Guinevere, that I will watch over you until the end of time._


	17. Chapter 17: Desperation

"Rest in peace."

Morgana, Gwen, Arthur, and Merlin all bowed their heads in respect. Morgana, with tome in hand, was at the head of the grave, reading scripture of the Old Religion. It was a solemn and cold event. The rays of sun seemed to scatter around the funeral, and they left the ground and the air cold and dry.

Morgana finished reading and held her hands up and began to sing a hymn of the Old Religion, something meant to guide spirits into the afterlife. The ground that Lance was buried in began to glow faintly as Morgana continued to sing, and from it grew small flowers—a patch of lilacs, which were Gwen's favorite.

Gwen held her hand up to her face and sobbed gently into it. Today was the first day without Lance, the beginning of the emptiness that would follow her until the end of days.

Beside her, Merlin leaned into Arthur, the sound of Morgana's heavenly voice, the flowers, and the heaviness of the sacrifice Lance had made around them. He buried his face in the crevice of Arthur's neck and Arthur, though as strong as he was, couldn't help but cry himself.

Arthur's mind wandered back to the fight. He was so worthless. _What if this was Merlin, what if I had been too weak or too scared to save him? _He instinctively brought his arm up around Merlin and pulled him close. The fear of death, the uncertainty of the future, and the lifeless breeze on the air made Merlin's body feel light-years away.

Morgana reached the climax of her song. Her voice was loud and triumphant, yet soft and precise, and the wind that carried it began to warm and the grave was almost completely covered in plant life.

Gwen was overrun with sorrow. This was it. This was the ending, the final rite, the proverbial last supper. The air was dense on her back.

_I love you._

Gwen gasped and turned around. She swore she could have – it was a glimpse, but in the far distance in the forest, she saw _him_. He gave her a wave and a smile, and the scent of him was on the wind. Gwen felt hope and unity rise in her chest; somehow, something inside her told her that they would see each other again, if not in this life, then in the next. Gwen held Lance's ring close to her heart and felt the grains of her sorrow scatter in the morning breeze.

Morgana brought her arms to her chest as the song came to a close, the gusts of air around them gentle but loud, as if singing with her, and the ritual was coming to a close. The animals in the forest, Morgana, Gwen, Merlin, Arthur—they gave a moment of silence for their fallen friend.

Now, and only now, after ensuring Lance's safe departure to the unknown, did Morgana let herself grieve.

* * *

><p>The journey back home was a quiet one. Gwen and Morgana lead the group with Merlin and Arthur trailing behind. Together they shared the sorrow, the burden of guilt, the essence of death, but they also shared the light of a new day, the healing of the morning sun on their backs, and even now, they could feel time closing their wounds. Merlin stayed close to Arthur, so close that they constantly bumped shoulders. Arthur didn't mind, the occasional contact made him remember that he wasn't alone—well, not completely, anyway. Gwen continued to turn and glance at everything that moved in the forest, hoping to see her Lance again.<p>

Together they walked up to the back of Merlin's mansion. Merlin checked around the house and noticed that Richard still wasn't back, which struck him as weird—he was supposed to be back a day ago.

Gwen pulled out her cell phone and called the Knights, to report Lance's death, just as Merlin unlocked the door and let Arthur, Morgana and himself inside. Gwen followed soon after, her face red and wet from informing her higher ups of the good news—and the bad. Gaius walked in to see the group there; he saw the lack of Lance and Gwen's puffy red face, and he didn't have to do much thinking to know what had happened.

After they had seated themselves at the kitchen table, Gwen was the first to speak. "Right. I'm—I'm going to go. I have a long trip ahead of me." Gwen looked to the table and tears filled her eyes, but she hastily wiped them away. "I want to thank you... all of you." She took a glance at every one of them. "You all made this possible, and even though we lost... lost a member, we still completed the mission and freed Kilgharrah. Merlin, be sure to call on him if you ever need help. You are a Dragonlord. I will contact you in a few days and we'll set up a plan for finding that man and the boy, if—if he's still alive..."

Merlin gave her an agreeing nod and Gwen stood up.

"Again... thank you all."

"Wait."

Gwen turned around to see Morgana standing next to her. The other woman's eyes were full of sympathy and compassion, and they left Gwen feeling naked and cold. "Let me come with you," Morgana said.

Gwen was going to protest. She wanted to be alone so bad, but she wanted to be with Morgana more, and she needed a friend right now. Gwen nodded and when Morgana turned to Merlin, Arthur, and Gaius, she gave them a nod and a smile, and they all returned one back. Merlin stood up and walked to Gwen, pulling her into a hug. Normally Gwen would have hit him or yelled, but this time she pulled him close to her, and sighed into his ear. Merlin then moved to Morgana and gave her a hug as well. Morgana saw the spots of jealously plague Arthur's face and she very gently and very deliberately kissed Merlin on the cheek, causing Arthur to turn away.

The door shutting was the breaking point. Everything solidified and reality became too thick to breathe. Merlin could feel dread fill his body, the loss of Lance, the upcoming war, the boy and the masked man. It was all too much. He turned to Arthur, who still hadn't said anything since he'd frozen on the battlefield. Merlin rested a hand on his shoulder, both for comfort and in need of comfort, but Arthur shrugged it off, got up, and walked away. Merlin sighed and turned to Gaius who was drinking tea. He remained silent as well but he got up and poured another cup, handing it to Merlin, saying everything in that gesture that was needed. When Merlin gazed into his tea cup, his reflection was a stranger to him.

* * *

><p>Arthur set his bag on the floor of his room. He pulled his short sword from his side and held it out in front of him. The battle ran through his mind. Why couldn't he kill someone? He thought about what would have happened if that Drinker had attacked Merlin. What if he had killed him or someone else? Arthur was furious with himself, absolutely furious. He briskly walked into his bathroom and turned on the shower. He needed something to calm him down.<p>

Merlin set his bag on the floor of his room. He sat on the edge of his bed and thought hard about the events that just passed. He needed a plan. Someone had _died_ this time because they were reckless, and he wouldn't allow it to happen again. He walked to his window and looked out over the fields near his house. It was calm, peaceful. He could see the magic of life, watch it mold and wash over the land, like the waters of the oceans.

Arthur felt the hot water drench his body. It was scolding him but he didn't care—he deserved this. Yesterday was the last time he would choke up, the last time he would be useless, the last time he would leave Merlin in such danger. He turned his face up to the torrent of water and felt the heat and pressure make his skin taut. The pain was a relief; it made him feel as if he was still alive, that this wasn't a dream.

Merlin walked into his bathroom, the feelings of yesterday were overwhelming. He looked at himself hard in the mirror. _Is this the man I want to be? _he asked himself. His gaze descended to the pale flesh of his wrist, and he reached under the sink and pulled out his black case, the scalpel inside was stained red with the memories of his previous incidences, incidences where he wasn't strong enough, wasn't ready, wasn't proud. He drew the blade against his skin, bleeding the filth from his body.

Arthur stepped out of the bathroom, skin bright red. He walked into his bedroom and noticed a bottle on his desk with a note attached to the top. It was a bottle of very expensive alcohol. Arthur stood there, reading the note.

_Arthur,_

_This is my gift to you, my son, for turning eighteen. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for it. Richard has me working a lot lately. Be wise,_

_Father_

Arthur laughed at himself. He had completely forgotten that today was his birthday. His eyes ran up and down the bottle. The amber liquid inside was the key to forgetting about everything, the key to just one night of being able to sleep, without dreaming of Merlin, without feeling guilty, or useless, or at least, he hoped.

He unscrewed the top and took a whiff of the drink. It was strong and toxic, and he let the fumes run through him before placing the bottle to his lips, feeling the hot liquid purge the stains of his worthless existence.

* * *

><p>"What's this?" Arthur asked.<p>

Merlin was holding out a black box engraved in gold. Arthur cautiously took the box from him and opened it. Inside was a pendant, and the chain it hung from was as gold as the jewel. Arthur pulled the necklace out from the box and looked at it in the light. Inside the jewel was an insect. Arthur had no idea what kind but he was amazed nonetheless.

"Do you like it?" Merlin asked. "I thought it'd be a good birthday present. I found it when I was helping Gaius pick herbs and I got Gwen to craft the necklace and the metal around it." Merlin shrugged and placed his hands behind his back, watching Arthur examine the jewel.

Arthur smiled and placed it around his neck. "Merlin, it's—it's perfect." And then he laughed, placing his hand on the jewel and giving Merlin a gentle and tender gaze. "You're too good to me."

Merlin blushed and bowed. "Anything for you, sire."

Arthur stood up and walked over to him and placed both hands on his shoulders. "Thank you, really," Arthur said softly. "This is the first gift I've gotten all day that wasn't gold or bought or weapons or armor..." He trailed off, lost in Merlin's eyes. He leaned in gently.

Arthur couldn't resist. Merlin had been there for him for _so _long, being shirtless, touching him, feeding him, taking care of him, all if it was just _so _sexy and Arthur couldn't contain himself. Merlin panicked. What was he do—

Their lips connected. Merlin felt heat wash over him and he instinctively wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck, pulling him close. Merlin didn't expect Arthur's lips to taste so sweet, to be so warm. Merlin had imagined this for years. Arthur pulled back.

"I..." He stammered, "This w-wasn't... weird, right?" he asked nervously.

Merlin smiled, and said, "Of course not," and then pulled him back in for another kiss.

_Best birthday ever._

* * *

><p>Merlin walked down the steps from the upper level. He had changed into just boxers and a sleeveless shirt. Hours had passed and after a nice rest and a shower, he felt ready to reveal himself to the world again. He needed to see Gaius, to tell him about everything that had happened. Merlin walked into the kitchen to see Arthur sitting at the table, an empty bottle in his hand and the lights off. Merlin flipped the light switch and Arthur groaned at the light.<p>

"What are you doing in here?" Merlin asked. "I figured you'd be sleeping or something."

Arthur looked up and gave him a snobby look and then laughed at himself.

Merlin could smell the alcohol from where he was standing. He walked up and yanked the bottle out of his hand. It was a big bottle, almost forty percent alcohol. Merlin couldn't believe Arthur right now, drinking his pain away? His mind slipped to his bathroom escapade and he felt hypocritical. He was no better.

Arthur tried to take the bottle back but grossly missed and almost fell out of his chair.

"What is wrong with you?" Merlin half asked half scolded. He reached down and help Arthur sit up in his chair, but Arthur pushed him away.

"With me?" Arthur responded, irritation filling his face. "Let's see here... I couldn't do... what I was supposed to do, uhm, yesterday, and I couldn't protect you or Lance and I couldn't do anything right so, yeah, there." Arthur turned away from Merlin, but Merlin could tell he was crying. Merlin's anger softened to pity and he sat down in the chair next to Arthur, who tried to scoot the chair away but the pads on the bottom of them stopped them from moving, so he just sat on the very edge of the chair, facing away from Merlin.

"It's not your fault—"

"What do you know!" Arthur screamed, whipping around. His face was bright red and his eyes were bloodshot. "You don't... you don't even know anything! You're too caught up in your _magic _and your _Morgana _to even... care about me. And you can do stuff but when I try... I couldn't stop even one of those guys..." Arthur let a sob escape his lips and shook his head, bringing his fists to his face and yelling into them. "I can't even protect you... Merlin. I can't even... ugh..." Arthur violently shook his head again and attempted to get up and walk away but stumbled and caught himself on the door way.

Merlin ran over to him and picked him up, placing Arthur's arm around his back and using his shoulder to hold him up, struggling to helping him walk to his room. Arthur was heavy on Merlin's shoulder but he managed to get him back down the hall way to his chambers, which smelled thick of alcohol.

"You're an idiot," Merlin said simply, and he laid Arthur down on the bed. Arthur looked up at him. "If you think I'm too caught up in everything to not 'care' about you." Merlin brought the blanket up to Arthur's chin and tucked him in and gave Arthur a cold glare. Arthur never stopped looking into Merlin's eyes and Merlin felt naked and alone. Merlin shook his head in disappointment, feeling a wave of embarrassment overtake him, for a second there, it felt like Arthur and him were lovers. He sighed and turned to walk away, but was stopped by a grip on his arm.

"Will you... I don't, please, Merlin, I don't want to be alone tonight," Arthur said pleadingly.

Merlin took a few seconds to think about it. His best friend needed him; there was no way he was going to say no. Time seemed to slow down. Merlin didn't care if Arthur was drunk, and he sure as hell didn't think he was worthless, and he wanted to show him that, that he was so much more, that he _meant _so much more to Merlin than he could ever possibly realize.

He nodded. "Okay."

Merlin figured he would talk to Gaius in the morning and he could call Rich—

Arthur gave his hand another tug, trying his best not to fall out of bed while holding on to Merlin. Merlin kept Arthur's grip and took a few steps towards the bed. Arthur scooted over and Merlin came in under the covers beside him. They shifted only slightly, but Merlin could feel hot breath against his neck, giving him goosebumps.

_What am I doing? _Merlin asked himself. _He's drunk and I'm sleeping in his bed and this is just wrong. _Merlin gasped gently as Arthur moved as close as he could to Merlin, burying his face into Merlin's back. Merlin sighed and decided it was best to just go with it. He slid his leg in between Arthur's and Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin, and they held hands all night.


	18. Chapter 18: Loving

The daylight brought a new sense of reality to Merlin. Dawn had never been as bright, and his back never as sweaty. The sensation brought a quick realization of where he was. Arthur's arm was under his pillow and his other arm was over his chest, a tight grip holding him close. Merlin quietly sighed, the feeling of Arthur's warmth and his arms overwhelming him. He gently turned over, doing his best not to wake Arthur, until he realized that Arthur was already awake, watching him sleep. His eyes were gentle on Merlin's skin, making Merlin feel warm and cold at the same time.

"How long have you been awake?" Merlin whispered. His voice swam along the stale air of the room and brought Arthur's mind to life, pulling him back from the fantasies he had been imagining just a few minutes before. He sat up a little, shifting against Merlin and then turned on his side, using his arm to prop his head up and to look down into Merlin's ocean blue eyes.

"A few minutes," Arthur replied, his eyes never leaving Merlin's. "I didn't wanna wake you."

Arthur looked down Merlin's body and became conscious of the fact that sometime during the night they both had lost most of their clothes and were now only in a pair of boxers and socks each. Merlin ran his hand through his hair, rustling the mess that sleeping had made, and Arthur took notice as Merlin's muscles contracted and expanded and created hills and valleys on his chest and arms. Merlin then grinned up at Arthur, a giddy happy smile that was brighter than the morning sun piercing his bedroom window, and Arthur couldn't hold himself back anymore. This night, the night before—_everything_—and even though nothing had happened, everything had. Merlin felt that he could lie in this bed with Arthur for the rest of his life.

It was too much. Arthur was in bed, with Merlin, almost naked, and Merlin was smiling at him. Time seemed to stop, and the days ahead and the days passed had no more relevance because in this moment, there was nothing but Arthur and Merlin. Arthur tried his best, he really did, but the urge over came him and he quickly leaned in, their lips connecting.

The rush echoed through Merlin's body. It resonated within his heart and caused it to flutter and pound off-beat. This was it. There was nothing to get in the way, no dark rooms, no excuse of not being able to see, because in this moment everything connected.

Merlin's mind had engraved in stone what Arthur had felt like during their first kiss, but this one, it was like Arthur was a different person. His lips were not chapped or awkward like the last time—they were firm and soft and full, like all of his existence was trying to escape from his mouth.

Arthur pulled Merlin in closer, his arms wrapping tightly around his naked torso, bring them skin on skin, chest to chest, mouth to mouth. Arthur savored the flavor of Merlin. His tongue dipped into between his lips, and he felt pulled in by the taste. It wasn't something he could describe. There wasn't a mixture of spices and foods like you'd expect in a meal, but an innate taste that had his mouth digging deeper, moving faster, and kissing harder. He trailed his hand along Merlin's back, feeling the smooth soft skin, sliding over every goosebump, his finger tips mapping the area, discovering what was his.

Merlin's hands awkwardly flailed behind Arthur. He was at a disadvantage by being on the bottom and could only comfortably place them in Arthur's hair to gently knead and scratch at his scalp. He loved the way Arthur's hair felt in his hands, the subtle texture of sweat and oil overlaying the coarse dry locks. Merlin's touch intoxicated Arthur, and he brushed his pelvis against Merlin, and Merlin gasped at the contact.

"Mngh," Merlin tried to say into the kiss. He pulled back and Arthur frowned, desperate to connect with Merlin again. "This... isn't a dream right?" Merlin asked. Arthur's eyes widened as his mind flashed back to the dreams he had of Merlin, kissing, cuddling, fucking. Arthur gave Merlin an odd look because he had been subconsciously wondering the same thing, expecting to wake up, expecting to hear the alarm ring and wake him, pull him from this fantasy, this sanctuary. Merlin looked around the room and then brought his hand up and pinched himself, repeatedly, and then gave a look of triumph.

"Well it doesn't seem to be one," Merlin said, satisfied. His face was still triumphant and showed in his eyes as they drifted up Arthur's body, which was half covered in a blanket and half naked, his stomach and chest protruding from the tops of the covers, taunting Merlin with their muscle. Merlin's eyes finally reached Arthur's face and his face twisted into an awkward grin, his ears pulling back slightly from the tense muscles in his face and Arthur was complete. He really was.

Merlin sat up and got out of the bed, doing his best to hide his erection beneath his waistband. Arthur couldn't help but stare, the thin spread of hair along his legs that traveled up into his plaid boxers, then continued up from the waistband and a few inches up his torso. The sight was slightly unnerving and completely sexy and Arthur couldn't help but want to dive out of the bed and pull Merlin back into it with him.

"I have to talk to Gaius soon, and then I need to call Richard and find out where our family is," Merlin explained as he put on a shirt and pants. "But when I'm done," his gaze turned to Arthur who was still in bed, "we can go out, yeah?"

A sharp shot of adrenaline rushed through Arthur's body. He didn't think that far ahead. Were they boyfriends now? Were they together? What was_ this, _if _this _was anything at all? Merlin walked back to the bed, half climbing on, and pulled Arthur close, giving him another kiss before breaking it suddenly.

"Also, just saying, you're a fucking _spoiled cabbagey dollop head prat fuck_ _**cunt **_for making me wait that long," Merlin cursed, a wash of irritation on his face before it warped back into a smirk as he placed his cellphone in his pocket and then he was strutting out the door and leaving Arthur alone on his bed, feeling confused, terrified, hot, cold, and, of course, desperately in love.

* * *

><p>Merlin hung up his mobile. Richard hadn't answered, but Merlin figured that he was just somewhere that didn't have reception. The man liked to go out and camp or go on little trips with Hunith when he went on business ventures so that she didn't feel so bored, and thus this wasn't totally unexpected, but it was irresponsible, and Merlin couldn't shake the inkling that something was amiss. Still, that was for tomorrow. He thought back to Arthur and their morning and <em>holy shit <em>they _kissed_. Merlin couldn't help but feel his stomach twist in shock every time he remembered their lips touching, their skin, close and hot.

He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Gaius was at the head of it reading his news paper and the old man folded it and looked over at Merlin with a curious expression on his face as he noticed Merlin's giddy and childish smile.

"So, you're in a better mood this morning I take it," Gaius said, face emotionless. Merlin blushed and giggled. He nodded and Gaius broke out in a smile. It was about time Merlin and Arthur finally broke the wall between them—it had taken a lot longer in this life than in the ones before, Gaius thought, but that was to be expected; this life wasn't exactly as simple as the last ones. Gaius leaned forward and gave Merlin a contemplating look. "The dragon, what became of him?" Gaius questioned.

Merlin explained all about what had happened: Morgana and Gwen, Gwen and Lance, Merlin and Arthur, the Drinkers, the Dragon, the leader and the boy, and Lance's death. He let it all spill, his eyes tearing up a few times as he retold the story. Gaius sat and listened intently, sipping from his tea and taking a bite from his biscuit every now and then, nodding and smiling as Merlin told the epic tale.

"I'm surprised Morgana was as powerful as she was," Gaius said eventually with a hint of praise in his voice. "When she left me a long time ago, she was no stronger than a boy who had just learned about his powers, but now, from what you describe, she is quite the powerful witch."

Merlin nodded in agreement. "She's really powerful, much more powerful than I think I'll ever be."

Gaius scoffed at his statement. "My boy, if you only knew what was inside you, you'd laugh at that ignorant statement."

* * *

><p>Merlin walked into his bathroom, ready to get a shower before the day ran away with him. He noticed his black case was still on the counter, opened, the scalpel stared at him, mocking him. Merlin walked to it and lifted it up, noticing the shine as it reflected the light from it, the red dull stain on its tip.<p>

His eyes turned gold and the scalpel floated in front of him, and a few seconds later it began to contort and melt, rearranging and twisting. Merlin watched as it became long, thin, thinner, until it became the base material that Merlin wanted, a little longer, it continued to stretch and then it finally began to coil and wrap around itself until it became a small circle of metal, a ring, his dried blood revived and compressed into a jewel at the top, embedded deep in the steel, golden words were etched in Old English along the ring, shimmering in gold.

Merlin smiled as he placed the ring on his finger, and then he walked over to the shower to turn the hot water on, stepping into it and out of the rut from yesteryear.

Arthur looked in his bathroom mirror. He had just gotten out of the shower for the fifth time. Each time he did his hair he didn't like it and showered again to rinse the product out. He wanted today to be perfect. He had tried a variety of hair styles, bed ridden, faux-hawk, parted, and yet nothing seemed to work. He could hear his mother's words echo in his ears. "Just be yourself," she would say as he had hoped she would say, "He'll love you no matter what."

Arthur dried his hair with a towel and just decided to leave it as it was, Merlin seemed to be content with how he looked so hopefully this was good enough for him. Arthur gave himself a confident look in the mirror before leaving to get dressed, his stomach in a knot and his head in a daze. It was going to be an insane day.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked into Arthur's room. He had changed into a pair of white shorts and a green t-shirt, and he had a pair of his newest sneakers on his feet and a big grin on his face. Arthur was just slipping his own shirt on. Merlin watched in lust as the cloth gently fell down his long flat stomach and felt his own shorts tighten as his mind wandered and traveled to the smutty places in his mind.<p>

Arthur walked up to him and placed both hands on his shoulders, bringing Merlin out of his fantasies and pulling him in for a kiss. He meant for it to be a gentle and quick one but found himself staying there, his lips moving gently along Merlin's. Merlin took a few steps forward and their bodies collided. Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck and let Arthur hold him at the waist, who eventually overcame his lust and pulled his head back. Their foreheads rested against each other, their noses touching.

"Can I ask you something?" Merlin said quietly.

"Of course," Arthur replied.

"Why now? I thought you didn't feel that way towards me... I thought that you and me, that we..." Merlin sighed in frustration. He didn't know how to articulate himself normally, let alone in front of the man of his dreams. He brought his lips tight together and Arthur placed his finger on his chin, tilting his head up.

"I was scared," Arthur confessed in a soft voice. "I thought that you didn't want me either and when I kissed you in the planetarium and you didn't kiss me back... I thought that I had over stepped my boundaries." Arthur saw Merlin's face fill with guilt. "But when you spent the night with me last night, you showed me that you cared for me more than just a friend, more than... I dunno, boyfriends?" he said questionably. Merlin looked up and nodded his head, a smile resuming its proper place on his face. Arthur raised his hand and slid the top of his index finger along Merlin's face, feeling the light roughness of stubble.

"So, what's the agenda for today?" Arthur asked, trying to break the tension of the heavy conversation.

Merlin smiled. "Agenda. Are you sure you know what that means?" he mocked.

Arthur laughed and slid his hands up and down Merlin's sides, caressing him and giving him an expectant look, waiting for Merlin response. Merlin shrugged his shoulders. "We're going to the cinema, I guess, to see... Uh, shit." Merlin looked down to his left, then to his right. "I... don't know what we're going to see."

"I'm sure we'll find something," Arthur said, his breath hot and warm on Merlin's face, arousal filling him and forcing Merlin to blush.

Merlin's gaze drifted up to Arthur's face. His eyes were so deep. Merlin could see his own reflection in them. He was so close, like it was a high definition film, larger than life. A wave of hope filled Merlin, the pain of yesterday and the fear of tomorrow were but whispers along the chords of his emotions, the songs of the here and the now, the songs of being in love, the songs of _this is it, this is real._

Merlin closed his eyes stood on the tips of his toes, a kiss gently breaking the silence of the room, and the torrent of reality waxed until Merlin thought he was going to explode. Arthur slid his hands along Merlin's back, pulling him forward, forcing their bodies as close as they could be. Only one thought ran through Arthur's head: _Perfection._


	19. Chapter 19: Relaxation

Merlin got into the passenger side of Arthur's car. He was nervous—more nervous than the time he'd gotten his appendix removed, but definitely more excited about it. Arthur started up the car, buckled his seat belt, and gave Merlin an _I-can't-believe-you're-here-with-me_ smile. He put the car into drive, ready to go on their first date. _Their first date. _The phrase rang pleasantly in Arthur's ears.

Merlin reached forward to toggle the knob on the radio and scanned through channels. Arthur normally hated it when people messed with his radio, but this was Merlin; he could do whatever he wanted to. Merlin surfed though many of the channels, a few country stations, a few hard rock stations (which they both groaned in disgust at), until Merlin finally swapped to a channel and a familiar "This time I'll be braver—" played over the radio.

"I love this song!" they said in unison, and Arthur smirked as Merlin blushed and smiled as he left the knob alone and sat back into his seat. This song would have been perfect for yesterday, but as for today, it was a gentle reminder that the bad times were over—for now, at least. Merlin looked out of his window to the clear sky; he had a feeling that today would be a day he would remember for the rest of his life.

* * *

><p>Arthur opened the door for Merlin as they walked into the cinema. Merlin walked to the teller and gave her his card, buying two tickets for a movie that Arthur didn't recognize, nor did he particularly care for—all that mattered was that today he and Merlin were together. They walked briskly down the long corridor that led deep underground where the theaters were situated. Merlin found the right door and they walked into to the dark room. Arthur was glad they'd left early as there wasn't anyone else in there.<p>

Merlin walked to a seat that was dead center in the back of the room. Merlin had a large bag of popcorn in hand and Arthur had a large drink, filled with… well, with whatever Merlin had ordered. They took their seats just as the credits began to roll and then the movie began to start, and a triumphant theme played as a few characters came onto the screen.

To say that either of them had been paying any attention to the movie would have been an atrocious lie. Merlin found himself more often than not staring at Arthur, who would turn to him and smile before leaning in and giving him a kiss and then turning back to the movie. Arthur didn't really watch it, though, as he was more interested at the body heat coming from the man next to him. He took a risk and moved his hand onto Merlin's leg. Merlin looked to him and smiled, placing his hand on top of Arthur's. Arthur gently squeezed his leg as he tried his best to get lost in the movie, though he'd much rather get lost in Merlin's eyes.

About half way through the movie, Merlin couldn't contain himself. He sat on his legs and leaned over to Arthur, Arthur's hand still on his thigh but closer to his pelvis. Merlin began to kiss Arthur's cheek then moved slowly to his ear, licking and biting on his earlobes, then moved down to Arthur's neck, causing Arthur to gasp. Merlin reached his hand over Arthur and grabbed his shoulder. Merlin let his hand slowly drop and crawl down Arthur's chest, then to his stomach, then to the button of his shorts and—

"Wait..." Arthur said quickly. He pulled away from Merlin, who took on a look of hurt and confusion. Did he do something wrong? But Arthur grabbed Merlin's hand and brought it to his face, rubbing Merlin's knuckles against his cheek. "I-I want to take it slow... is that okay?" Arthur asked. He moved Merlin's hand to his lips and began kissing over his knuckles, over his ring, and then wrapped both of his own hands around Merlin's hand, holding it tight. "I-I..." Arthur sighed. "I don't wanna go fast and for us regret anything you know? I... I just really love you, okay?"

Merlin felt his heart flutter and the feeling of butterflies filled his stomach. _I just really love you, okay. _The sentence ran though his mind like a dog chasing its tale, each trip getting brighter and louder and stronger until Merlin brought his other and to Arthur's face and pulled him close. Their lips only inches from each other. "I just really love you too," Merlin replied, a smile spreading across his face. "Okay?"

Arthur nodded and closed the gap between them, sealing the words with a kiss.

The movie ended and Arthur found himself feeling a little depressed. He and Merlin walked out of the cinema and to the car.

Merlin was the first to break the silence. "I don't wanna go home yet." he said, looking to Arthur, who smiled at the words—just what he wanted to hear. Arthur unbuckled his belt, got out of the car and walked to the other side, opening Merlin's door. Merlin took a second to watch the sunlight reflect off of Arthur's hair and brighten his eyes; from here Arthur looked like a model or someone from a magazine. Arthur gave him a big smile before extending his hand.

"Come with me."

* * *

><p>After only an hour of walking, Arthur had finally reached his destination. It was the middle of the afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky. Merlin looked out onto the river that Arthur had brought them to and felt Arthur pull on his hand just a little more before walking to an empty patch of grass on the bank. He took his jacket and laid it on the ground before sitting on it, patting next to him for Merlin to sit as well.<p>

Together they looked out over the water. It was clear, and you could see plant life and fish and the sun's reflection on the shiny surface. Merlin scooted as close to Arthur as he could get before leaning his head on his shoulder and enjoying the now. The day was so perfect, it was like something out of a faerie tale, something out of a romance novel, or a Nicholas Sparks book. No one had days like this, no one. Merlin sighed and Arthur rested his head on Merlin's, watching a flock of birds fly over head.

They sat there for a few hours, talking about everything and nothing, watching other people, listening, feeling, and kissing. Merlin and Arthur had engaged in a game of Truth or Dare, though each time either of them picked dare it was always for a kiss. Together they lay back on the ground and stared up at the sky, hands together, shoulder to shoulder. Merlin was still expecting to wake up but as time went on, it became more and more clear that this wasn't a dream. This was his life.

Neither of them remembered falling asleep. Arthur woke up to gentle rain drops on his face. The sun was setting far in the distance and a few clouds were rolling in. He glanced to his right to see Merlin cuddled up against him, face buried into his arm, silent, sleeping. Arthur turned onto his side and brought his hand up to stroke Merlin's cheek, gently waking him.

Merlin mumbled and yawned as he opened his eyes and looked around and noticed the time change. "How long have we been," Merlin took a moment to yawn, "sleeping?" he asked.

Arthur checked his watch. "About three hours."

Merlin sat up and stretched. There was some grass on his back where the jacket didn't cover and Arthur raised his hand and brushed it off. Merlin turned around and looked at his boyfriend – Merlin's heart fluttered at that word, _boyfriend._ He slowly climbed on top of Arthur and sat on his stomach, leaning forward. He placed both of his elbows on the ground next to Arthur's face, their foreheads touching. Merlin gentle nuzzled his nose against Arthur's and closed his eyes, enjoying the contact. Arthur brought his arms up and grabbed Merlin, turning him over so he was the one on top. Arthur smiled at Merlin's surprise and leaned in to kiss him, his arms still wrapped around him, the night sky falling on his back.

* * *

><p>The ride home was quiet. After picking up a few burgers from McDonalds and talking about their lives, their past, Merlin had fallen asleep again on his door, and Arthur turned the radio off, leaving himself with his thoughts. The rain had become heavy and kept him company in the gentle darkness. As he got closer to the estate he noticed the rain light up until it was gone and left the moon bright in the sky. Arthur pulled up to the mansion and gentle nudged Merlin's shoulder, but Merlin groaned and pushed Arthur away, nuzzling into the car door and falling back asleep. Arthur sighed and smiled. He opened his door and went to Merlin's side. He gently pulled the door open and leaned in, unbuckling Merlin and then picking him up. He was a lot lighter than Arthur had expected. Merlin wrapped his hands around Arthur's neck and curled up in his hands, Arthur leaned down and kisses his forehead before carrying him bridal-style inside.<p>

Arthur laid Merlin down on his bed. He took off Merlin's shoes and socks, throwing them on the floor. He brought Merlin's huge blanket up over him and Merlin turned onto his side, pulling the blanket closer. Arthur turned the light beside his bed off and went to walk away, but this time it was Merlin who grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

"Stay with me, please," Merlin said sleepily. His grip was weak but firm and Arthur couldn't resist a request like that. Arthur slipped his shoes and socks off, then dropped his shorts and took off his shirt. He walked to the other side of Merlin's bed and slid under the covers with him, sliding up to his back and pulling Merlin into him, feeling his chest make contact with Merlin's back. Merlin sat up for a second and pulled his own shirt off before taking his shorts off under the blanket and frantically kicking, trying to get them off the bed. Merlin laid himself back on the bed and scooted back, trying to be as close to Arthur as he could.

Arthur planted a kiss on Merlin's shoulder. His lips were gentle as he moved along his shoulder to his neck. Merlin reached his hand up and grabbed Arthur's hair, expending his head up to give Arthur more access. Arthur reached around Merlin and placed his hands on Merlin's chest, gripping and digging his fingers in as he continued to lick and bite and kiss. Merlin turned around and pulled Arthur close, bring his lips to Arthur's and sliding his hand to Arthur's boxers. Arthur opened his mouth to protest but Merlin took that opportunity to slide his tongue in, slipping his hand into Arthur's boxers, gripping him, pulling at him. Merlin felt Arthur groan into his mouth and kissed harder.

Arthur gave in. He reached down and slid his own boxers off before sliding off Merlin's. They were locked in a passionate kiss, tongue against tongue, teeth against teeth, stomach against stomach. Arthur raised his hands up to Merlin's face and pulled him back. Their eyes locked, both lost deep in lust and passion.

"I love you." Arthur said tenderly. He leaned in and gave Merlin another kiss.

He ducked under the blankets and kissed Merlin's neck, and then he moved down, glazing his chest, his nipples, his stomach with kisses and saliva. Arthur worked he way down farther and heard Merlin gasp as Arthur took him in. Merlin reached down under the blanket, running his hands in Arthur's hair, feeling each crevice of his mouth, bucking his hips, feeling himself go deeper and deeper. A gentle moan escaped from Merlin's lips as each trust brought him closer and closer to his climax.

Arthur took a moment to wet his finger with his mouth before reaching his hand under Merlin, where he began to slide his finger in. Merlin sighed and slammed his hips down onto Arthur's finger, forcing it deep inside him. Arthur only guessed that Merlin had liked that, since he liked it himself. He was so new to this; he had no idea if he was doing anything right.

He resumed sucking on Merlin, savoring the taste, mapping the topography, getting to know every vein, every hair, every wrinkle, every groove. A few seconds later Arthur heard the inevitable moan of his name, followed by the savory sweet flavor of his love, and Arthur kissed up Merlin's body until he reached his face.

Merlin wrapped his arms around him pulled him down for a kiss. He reached over to his bed stand and opened his drawer, pulling out a bottle of lubrication. He poured some out onto his hand and then snaked it down to Arthur, applying a generous amount. Merlin arched his back and adjusted until Arthur was there, and then he used his legs to pull Arthur down.

"Wait..." Arthur said. "Should we like... I dunno, _prepare _you first?" He blushed at the word and gave Merlin an awkward smile, not sure how to go about this.

Merlin nodded his head and smiled, blushing himself as Arthur dropped his hands down to work on Merlin and watched as the other boy squirmed and panted beneath him. Merlin opened his eyes and Arthur knew he was ready. He repositioned himself and Merlin wrapped his legs around him again, pulling Arthur down, feeling him begin to slide in. Arthur couldn't help but groan as heat over took him. It was so warm, so tight, and so _perfect. _He pushed his hips the whole way down, forcing Merlin deep into the mattress. He looked into Merlin's eyes and smiled, leaning into kiss him as he began to gently thrust.

* * *

><p>Richard pulled out his cell phone. Six missed calls, five of them from Merlin. He had expected that. He did notice, however, that another was from someone who would only call him if something was dire. He turned to Uther, Ygraine, and Hunith and told them to give him a second before walking away and out of sight.<p>

"Cenred, what do you want?" Richard asked in a tight, angry voice. "Did you secure the dragon?"

"No, Great One, we were interrupted by an odd group of powerful people."

"An odd group of power—what the fuck are you talking about?" Richard cursed into the phone. He turned around to make sure he wasn't followed.

"Two Knights, a warlock, a witch, and some retard with a sword."

"Did you kill them?"

"Negative, sir, they were able to secure the Dragon's escape, along with killing almost all of our men. I was able to steal the boy and escape with three other Drinkers."

Richard's face went white at the information. "Who the fuck are these people?"

"I only recognized one, sir—the warlock."

Richard tapped his foot impatiently. "And? Who was he?"

"Your step-son."


	20. Chapter 20: Assassination

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your comments, subscriptions, and for sticking with me for the past two weeks, it's _really _what keeps me going.**

* * *

><p>Arthur held Merlin close. Together, they watched as Hunith drifted out onto the lake. Merlin turned his head and buried it into Arthur's chest, his hands gripping and stretching his royal clothing.<p>

"I miss her already." Merlin cried.

"I know, I know." Arthur comforted. He ran his fingers through Merlin's black hair and pulled him close. Twilight fell upon the land and the fall leaves began to stir up in the wind, Arthur felt Merlin pull him closer, trying to escape the chill.

It was another hour before Merlin turned his gaze to the lake and with a flash of gold set the boat set aflame. The black pillar of smoke carrying Hunith's spirit to the afterlife.

* * *

><p>Gwen knew the route she was taking wasn't the fastest way to get back to the Knight's headquarters, but she didn't care. She needed time—time to think, to heal.<p>

Morgana had been quite the company, only talking when Gwen spoke, and not constantly saying "I'm sorry" or, "He's in a better place," like any other sodding git probably would have. Gwen had forgotten just how comforting Morgana's presence was; in her absence, she had become accommodated to mediocrity.

As the road continued to stretch out before her, Gwen's mind drifted off to a rougher place, somewhere she hadn't visited in a long time. She tried to toss those thoughts from her mind but Morgana's scent was filling the air, and the memories continued to flood back until she couldn't take it anymore.

"I never forgave you."

It was quick, and it was blunt. Morgana almost felt her neck break from the whiplash and her stomach sank into the chair. She couldn't bear to face Gwen. Her eyes continued to nonchalantly gaze out of the window while, deep inside, she wanted to cry. She could feel the heat on her neck as Gwen turned to face her, slowing down on the back road she had taken.

"I-I couldn't forgive you, for not keeping me in the loop. I was your _partner, _you know, and just—I know _why _you did it, I just don't understand why you couldn't... trust me," Gwen confessed, having now brought the car to a complete stop.

Morgana finally built up the courage and turned her head, meeting Gwen's gaze. "I didn't want to hurt you," she said hoarsely, a lump forming in her throat. "Didn't you read what Morgause wrote? I was so afraid that she was going to... I dunno... _kill _you." Morgana's make-up began to run down her face, followed by her tears, and Gwen nodded, crying a bit herself. The other woman put the car back into gear and accelerated down the road.

"We've talked about this before, Gwen, why bring it up now?"

In all honestly, Gwen didn't know why she was bringing it up again but she still felt alone, and she still felt betrayed, like Morgana's actions had happened only yesterday.

"I am, though," Gwen started, ignoring Morgana's previous statement. "I'm glad that you're here with me, now."

Morgana smiled at the statement and reached over, giving Gwen a reassuring rub on her shoulder. She left her hand there just a second too long.

* * *

><p>The night before was a blur. Merlin felt the pain in his arse and the soreness that rang through his taut muscles. He stretched and groaned along the bed until he came to the realization that Arthur wasn't there beside him. He sat up, still in a daze, and dumbly called out his name. No response. <em>Odd, <em>Merlin thought. He got out of bed and went downstairs, where the smell of eggs and bacon lingered in the air.

Merlin entered the kitchen to see Arthur cooking breakfast, wearing nothing but an apron. Merlin smiled to himself and slowly walked up to Arthur, wrapping his arms around his waist and grinding his pelvis against his arse. Arthur turned his head just enough to give Merlin a kiss and then resumed making food. Merlin looked into the pan to see a bunch of odd ingredients being fried and stirred.

"I didn't know you could cook," Merlin said, astonished. Whatever Arthur was making, it smelled heavenly.

"A trick I learned from my mother," Arthur admitted. He tossed a few more spices into the pan and then turned the heat off, giving Merlin a proud look. He stole a quick kiss before stirring the contents once more.

Arthur reached up into a cupboard and took two large white plates, set them on the counter, and filled each with a rather generous helping, and then handed one to Merlin. Merlin gave him a smile and then sat down, not at the other side of the table, but right next to Arthur, who smiled back at him. Merlin took his fork and then a bite.

"Oh... my... _God_," Merlin said between chews. "This is amazing!"

Arthur grinned at him and took a bite himself, closing his eyes and letting his mouth marinate in the taste, even he was impressed at his own cooking. "Not as good as you taste," Arthur replied slyly. Merlin choked a little on his food, and Arthur snickered. Merlin gave him a playful shove.

"Shut it," Merlin said, taking another bite of his food. He tossed a giddy smile Arthur's way.

Arthur couldn't help but take notice to Merlin's body. The way his neck was ridged and taut, the way his chest was skinny but still slightly muscular, the small pink nipples on his chest, the light trail of dark hair that went from his belly down to his—

"Well, good morning."

Arthur and Merlin turned around in horror as they saw Gaius standing behind them eating a biscuit, both of them forgetting that Gaius was still in the house, let alone that both were butt naked. Arthur quickly got up and turned around, leaving the apron cover him and Merlin placed his hands on his crotch and stood up, hiding behind Arthur.

"Well, this is awkwardly unpleasant," Gaius said. "I believe it is best to wait until you are absolutely sure that no one is in the house before gallivanting around naked. However, I have come to inform you that I am leaving now, and will call you when I land. I would ask for a hug Merlin, but I think that would be out of the question right now."

A horn honked outside and Gaius turned to the door, and Merlin and Arthur gave each other quick, embarrassed nods.

After a loud slam echoed through the halls, Gaius was gone. Merlin dropped his hands and Arthur no longer stood so tense, and then they both broke out in laughter.

The rest of the day was just as much of a blur as the night before. They had the entire house to themselves; Richard had rang saying that he would be a few days late as he had a very luxurious dinner party to attend to and he would be back as soon as he could. Merlin took this as a sign of good warning. Today was just for them.

* * *

><p>Richard walked along the hospital bed that Hunith laid in. Uther and Ygraine were back at the hotel, waiting for him to return.<p>

_She had a stroke. She's in a coma right now, we don't know what will happen but we'll keep you updated as soon as we know more._

Richard sat down beside his love and pulled a gem from his pocket. He placed it to Hunith's face and a white wispy smoke began to pour from her mouth, nose, eyes, and it filled the gem, changing it from a clear crystal to a dark smoky white. He watched as the monitors began to beep rapidly, signaling distress, which was followed by a team of doctors rushing in, trying to save her. They escorted him out, telling him that they were doing everything that can.

Richard watched through the blinds as his wife flat lined. He held the crystal up to his eye and inspected it carefully, watching her soul bounce off the crystal walls.

_This will teach that boy not to play with fire._

* * *

><p>As dusk fell, Merlin dimmed the lights to the living room. He resumed his place at Arthur's side as they watched a film something or another about some really hot guy and some really hot chick being abducted by aliens in the middle of nowhere in some desert in America, but Merlin couldn't concentrate, not with Arthur beside him being—well, <em>Arthur.<em>

Merlin started with a hand on Arthur's thigh, before slowly working his way to his boxers and sliding his hand up one of the leg openings, and then he began to fondle Arthur. Arthur did his best not to give Merlin a response, but when he started getting hard, Merlin took the cue and dropped his face into Arthur's lap.

The noises Merlin was making should be _illegal, _Arthur thought. He ran one hand through Merlin's hair and the other clutched the couch as Merlin worked on him, tossing his head back and hissing through his teeth occasionally. Merlin pulled his head up and planted a kiss on Arthur, before readjusting and sitting on Arthur's lap, their erections pressed against each other. Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin and pulled him as close as he could be, perfectly flat against each other. Merlin arched his back and began to grind against Arthur, twisting his hips with each thrust.

Arthur moved quickly, got up and tossed Merlin down on the couch, kissing along Merlin's—

A small thump echoed through the house.

Merlin and Arthur both sat up quickly and turned towards the noise. The glass windows on the living room had a full view of the yard, but neither one could see anything. The few lights outside did nothing to dispel the darkness, so Merlin's eyes turned to a shade of gold as he tried to extend his magic outwards, to feel who was there.

"Maybe just an animal? Yeah?" Arthur asked, still staring out the window, but Merlin knew better; his magic had made contact.

"No," Merlin replied, his voice trembling and scared. "I can feel people… There are at least twenty of them. Shit!" Merlin got up and grabbed Arthur's hand, pulling him towards the hall way that lead back to the master bedroom, but an opaque red wall formed in front of them, blocking their path. It crackled with energy.

"Well now, children," a voice said. "What a nice surprise to see you here."

Arthur and Merlin turned to the door to the room, to find—

The man from the cave. The boy was at his side, and at least ten Drinkers behind him. He was twirling a knife in his hand, nonchalantly tossing it in the air and catching it, the blade making whipping sounds as it spun and sliced the air.

As Merlin stared him down, Arthur tried to stand in front of Merlin, to protect him from anything that could come their way.

"I never had a chance to introduce myself," the man said. He took a long lick along his blade, and it sliced his tongue. Blood dripped to the floor. "My name is Mordred."


	21. Chapter 21: Realization

**Mordred. Merlin remembered that name. He remembered everything now.**

* * *

><p>"My little Merlin."<p>

"Oh Bal, I just put him to sleep!" Hunith said as she tapped her foot irritably.

Balinor had Merlin straddled around his waist, placed perfectly on his hip. Merlin's bright blue eyes were filled with excitement even though his mother had just put him to sleep a few hours ago. The boy was so little, only three, and he didn't understand why his dad had to leave for weeks at a time.

"I know, love. I'm sorry." Balinor shot her one of his looks, one of those everything-is-going-to-be-alright glances.

Hunith's own face melded over with confusion and fear. "Bal, what's going on?" she asked, walking up close to him. "I know you. Something's wrong."

Balinor sighed and placed Merlin down carefully. "I'll be back, okay?" he told Merlin, who pouted but nodded and sat on his bed. Hunith and Balinor walked out of the room and down the hall, to the kitchen, where Hunith put the kettle on and sat across from her husband.

"Something is happening," Balinor began to explain. His face filled with fear and anxiety. Hunith had never seen him so shaken; being one of the top warlocks in the Knights he had a large arsenal of weapons, spells, and people. If something was scaring him, it was serious. Hunith reached across the table and squeezed her husband's hand. "There is a team being formed. Somewhere," he waved his hands in the air, "in the darkness. And they want me."

"Want you? What?" Hunith questioned. "Honey, you're not making sense."

"I know," Balinor responded lamely. His voice was raspy and dry from stress. He met her gaze for only a second and then turned to look out of the kitchen window. The sky was clear, and the moon was full. He thought about his life, his future, how it meant nothing without Merlin. He couldn't tell Hunith that it was really Merlin they wanted, and figured it was best to protect them both. If she still thought he was inept at magic then she wouldn't worry. He would keep her safe, even in death. "You and Merlin need to leave tonight."

Hunith recoiled like she had been slapped in the face. She leaned forward so fast she forced the table back. "What do you mean, we have to leave? What are you going to do?"

Before Balinor could answer there was a knock at the door. He got up and gave Hunith a quizzical look. "Are you expecting anyone?"

Hunith shook her head and Balinor pulled a vial of liquid out of his pocket. Hunith hadn't seen that vial in _years, _not since their first mission together.

"Go back to Merlin's room, lock the door, seal it, and do _not _open it," Balinor commanded. Hunith nodded as there was another rap on the door. She raced back to Merlin's room, and Balinor approached the tall front door. As soon as he heard Merlin's door lock and felt the faint aura of a force-field, he opened the door.

There was a sudden blast of energy. Balinor flew back into the room. He slammed his foot down, using the friction to flip himself and land on the opposing wall. He took the lid off of his vial and quickly chugged it.

In the next room, Merlin's ears twitched. He could feel something evil in the air. _Mordred, _the darkness seemed to whisper. He looked through the wall into the living room.

A tall man with dark hair walked in the door. He was dressed in a bright red robe and had the hood pulled back. He was accompanied by a young boy with hair just as dark as his.

"Balinor, a pleasure. My name is Mordred," the older man said.

Balinor stayed on the wall, using his magic to cling to it like a spider. The aura from the man was suffocating. Balinor had never seen such magic before. "I assume you want to know why I'm here."

"I already know," Balinor replied coldly. His eyes were dead on Mordred, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. He could feel the liquid from the vial pumping through his veins; it was only a matter of time now.

"Well then, why don't you just give him to us and we'll be on our way."

"Over my dead body," Balinor spat.

"How cliché, really, tisk tisk tisk." The man took a step towards Balinor. "Is this where I say 'that can be arranged'?" Mordred let out a deep dark laugh, one that was meant to intimidate rather than show amusement. Balinor could feel his face and body heat up. He was ready.

The first blow was fast, so fast that the space and time around Balinor wobbled and shattered everything within a few feet of him. His fist connected with Mordred's face and just as fast as he had leaped, he was flying backwards, shooting through the open door and out into the countryside. Balinor knew he couldn't stop here; he only had a few minutes. He used his magic to push the air like it was solid ground and quickly caught up with the man's still-flying body. He brought his leg around and connected the tip of his boot with the man's head, causing him to drastically change direction and fly upwards into the sky. Balinor landed gently on the ground and began to channel the Earth's magic, feeling it stretch and warp his body. He extended his palm and chanted in his head.

Hunith watched the fight from her window, and little did she know, Merlin was watching through the walls. She had applied a very powerful cloak and force-field to the room, using the strongest crystals she had. She had her fingers crossed. She wasn't a witch herself but she could still feel the_ power _that the cloaked man was emanating. It made her sweat.

A bright gold orb began to form in Balinor's palm. He brought his other hand and gripped the air. Mordred stopped flying and became stationary, suspended by Balinor's magic.

"MINE!" shrilled a voice.

The orb disappeared and the moon seemed to go out, as if all the magic was siphoned from the world. It only lasted a few seconds, but when the lights came back on, Balinor's eyes didn't. The young boy was standing in front of him, his arm extended, his hand deep in Balinor's chest. He quickly ripped his arm back, Balinor's heart in hand, and used his other hand to support Balinor's lifeless body.

"No..." Hunith gasped under her breath. She placed her hand over her mouth and Merlin started to cry in the back ground.

The young boy took Balinor's heart and began to eat it. Hunith screamed in horror as he finished eating the heart, then got on all fours and began to eat his body. Mordred gently floated down, half of his face missing, his eye hanging from its socket by just a thread of nerves and tissue, and joined the young boy in feasting on his corpse.

As Mordred ate his body he began to regenerate.

_What are these people?_ Hunith quickly ran to the closet and pulled out a bag. She needed to hurry.

There was a loud crash. The entire house was ripped away in one swoop of light and energy, leaving Merlin, Hunith, and the little of the room that was still in the force-field. Hunith jumped and turned around to see the boy on all fours, pressed against the force-field, bashing his head against the magic.

"You _will _let me in, you bitch, or I will let myself in," the boy screamed between blows. His voice was high pitched and it carried the voices of several people, all echoing through his mouth as he spoke. He continued to bash his head against the field, each collision caused it to crack and fracture a little more. Hunith dug into her bag filled with crystals until she finally found a milky blue one.

There was the sound of glass shattering, and the boy stuck his head through the small hole he had made. The sharp edges of the field had ripped much of his face away, leaving only bone and sagging flesh. Hunith broke the crystal against the metal tip of her boot and smoke surrounded her and Merlin. Under them, the crystal had created a hole in the universe. Sunlight pierced Merlin's eyes from the other side, and he felt himself and his mother fall.

The other boy continued to push. "I WANT THAT FUCKING—"

But Hunith and Merlin were gone. The smoke cleared and the force-field faded. The boy screamed at the top of his lungs and floated to the ground.

"My lord," Mordred began to say, but he was cut off by a vicious glare the boy gave. "Yes sir," Mordred replied and he picked the boy up, tossing his own crystal down and teleporting back to base.

* * *

><p>"You... you killed my father," Merlin said, his voice barely there. He stumbled backwards and Arthur caught him. Mordred and the boy smiled.<p>

"I'm so glad you remember." Mordred chuckled. "It's good to know we have fans out there."

The boy was the one to chuckle this time. This laugh was shrill and piercing, like hundreds of sirens going off at once.

Merlin's head was spinning. He felt his magic inside of him bubble and burn in response to their laughter. He felt it extend and seep into the ground, into the air. He felt it spread, for miles and miles, until he found Gwen and Morgana. _Perfect._

Merlin raised his right hand and a green wall placed itself between Mordred and Merlin and Arthur. The boy immediately leaped at the field and, just like all those years ago, began to thrash and bash his head against the wall. Merlin raised his left hand and a black void appeared. He could see Gwen and Morgana in the front seat. He kicked Arthur and he fell into the portal.

"NO!" the boy screamed at the top of his lungs. "NOT AGA—" but he was cut off as the field fell.

"No," Merlin replied coolly. "Not again."

Merlin closed his eyes and reached out his hand, just like his father, but this time he caught the young boy by the throat. He squirmed and thrashed in the air.

"Not again," Merlin repeated, and when his eyes opened, this time, they weren't his.

_Dragoon._


	22. Chapter 22: Leaving

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Morgana asked. She bit down on her lower lip in concern.

"Uhm… yeah," Gwen replied, slightly unsure. "I'm pretty sure it's just forty or so miles on this road. They cloak it so even if you've been here a million times. It's still hard to—"

Gwen slammed on the breaks and the car came to a screeching halt and Morgana flung forward into her seat.

"WHAT THE FUCK AR—_Arthur_?"

Just as Gwen did, Morgana turned around, a little cranky now that her neck and chest hurt from the deceleration, but she was surprised to see Arthur, who was lying in the back seat. His eyes were wide with horror as he flailed and sat up.

"We need to go back!" Arthur screamed immediately. "Mordred is there! He's going to kill Merlin!"

"Arthur, Arthur!" Gwen yelled over him. "You need to calm down! What is going on? How did you get here?"

Arthur shook his head, still dazed from the teleportation. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think.

"Mordred. The guy from the cave, right? He shows up in Merlin's house and he starts attacking us." Arthur took a hard swallow; he could still see that demon child's head thrashing against Merlin's force-field, trying to get to him—to his Merlin. He shuddered and continued, desperate to push it from his mind. "Merlin created some kind of tunnel, yeah, and teleported me here but... but we have to go back to get him!"

"Alright," Gwen responded with forced calm. She was a Knight. She knew how to do this. "But first we need to get back to HQ and tell them what's going on."

"But—"

"No buts, Arthur!" Gwen yelled. She put the car into drive and slammed her foot down on the gas pedal. "If we go in unprepared we will most likely die. Merlin is strong. He can handle himself. We'll get gear and back up."

Arthur sunk into his seat, knuckles white against the touch fabric. He watched his reflection in the mirror as the car sped down the road.

_Hold on Merlin. Hold on._

* * *

><p>The boy struggled and thrashed in Merlin's invisible grip. Mordred's eyes were careful. Merlin had the boy in a very risky situation—one wrong move and the boy could die, a loss the Purge could not bear to have.<p>

"Now let's just... all... calm... down..." Mordred said. He raised his hands as a sign of peace and began to walk backwards. "I'm sure we can talk this out, right, kids?"

"Seems you haven't changed at all, eh Mordred?"

Mordred recoiled at the statement and he gave Merlin a confused look before regaining his composure. "I don't know—"

"I wasn't talking to you," Merlin replied. "I was talking to Mordred."

"I assure you I am—" Mordred began, but he was cut off by the boy.

"It's... fine." The boy said, "This... is not... Merlin. He knows." The boy enunciated each word as if it brought him extreme pain.

Merlin dropped his grip on the boy and he fell to the ground with a thump.

"It's been a long time, Dragoon," the boy, Mordred, confessed. He walked in a slow arch around Merlin. He saw Merlin's body, but he saw Dragoon's spirit. "I'm surprised you remember my tricks."

"I could never forget magic as twisted as yours," Merlin retorted.

Mordred laughed, his voice echoing through the room. Even his team mates were a little off set by the sound that he produced. "You mean like this?" Mordred lifted his hand and pulled the cloak off of former Mordred with his magic. Merlin's eyes widened at the sight.

The head was human, but the rest of the body was either missing or replaced with metal. There was no stomach, just a metal pole connecting the legs to the chest, with various wires and electrical equipment blinking and buzzing. Merlin could see that it wasn't just machine, but a blend of machine and magic, technology and the divine, metal and madness.

"Do you like it?" Mordred asked, cocking his head to the side. A sliver of drool escaped his lips. "I... I love it." He raised his hands up and they began to tremble. Merlin took a few steps back and felt the air in the room become thick. "The only thing I'm missing, Dragoon, is a nice power supply." His eyes shot to Merlin, deeply filled with lust and hunger. His pupils became pinpricks as the images of Merlin's naked body, cut, sliced, ripped, shredded on his table, filling his body with his own magical metal, his own spirit. His groin began to warm and ache in response. He needed to taste Merlin's heart, his blood—he needed the sin to rush past his lips and fill the void of his existence.

It was a near miss. Mordred's hand grazed Merlin's chest, his sharp nails slicing a thin layer of skin off. Merlin flew backwards in an attempt to dodge the child's assault, and Mordred's eyes turned red in anticipation. Merlin was very fast, very fast indeed, and Mordred loved it when they put up a good fight.

He loved it even more when they screamed.

His feet twitched as he pushed off the air, changing directions at breakneck speeds. Merlin faded through the wall behind him, going outside into the darkness.

"Gimme... Gimme... Gimme... GIMME GIMME GIMME _GIMMME_!" Mordred screamed. The windows shattered through the house and Mordred erupted through the dry wall.

Merlin felt like Mordred was moving faster and faster as time went by. Each blow was quicker, harder to dodge. The energy, _Dragoon, _was fading.

Mordred's fist landed in Merlin's stomach and it forced Merlin to fly backwards. He landed, sliding against the ground as he did. He stood up, feeling weak in his knees. Mordred stood just a few meters in front of him, a large grin on his face, a twisted smile stretching from cheek to cheek.

Merlin's eyes began to fade back to their normal color. His stomach hurt like nothing he had ever felt before, like something was—

"Doesn't feel right without your liver... does it?"

Merlin watched in horror as Mordred's hand snaked around from behind his back. It was hard to see with just the moonlight, but Merlin didn't need to be told what the black mass was in his hands; he could feel it missing in his stomach. Mordred brought the mass up to his lips and began to lick it, moaning with each swipe of his tongue.

"I tried for your heart... but damn, you're fast," Mordred mockingly praised. Merlin felt his head become light. Blood was pouring into the cavity that was in his chest. How could he have been so stupid? Why didn't he just go with Arthur? Arthur. _Arthur. _Merlin thought to Arthur. It had been the last time he was ever going to see him.

Mordred was in front of him, only inches away. His bloody hand grabbed Merlin's arm and he threw him towards the mansion. Merlin slammed through two sets of dry wall before stopping dead in the living room. Mordred held out his hand and a gentle red light began to glow and shimmer. It slowly shot out from his hand, no faster than a butter fly.

Merlin's eyes were barely open. His mind was flooded with images of the could be, should be, won't be. The cave, their marriage, would Arthur still kill himself?

Arthur. He loved—

Merlin saw the red light in front of his face. It was gentle and comforting, and in the distance he could hear Mordred's laughter. He only had time to shed a single tear or regret, of sorrow, of Arthur, before the heat engulfed him, and then with a quick pull, he felt himself slide out of this world.

* * *

><p>"So, what do you have to report?"<p>

Gwen pulled her backpack off her back and set it on the table in front of the commander. Morgana and Arthur stood silently behind her as she pulled out various papers and maps.

"We were able to secure the location of the dragon and facilitate his escape, sir. Lance..." Gwen hesitated for a second before regaining her composure. "Lance was killed in action. A man named Mordred was there, offering a small boy to sacrifice to complete the ritual. He is currently at the Bane residence about eight hundred kilometers from here in a confrontation with Merlin, an unregistered warlock."

The commander nodded and his eyes drifted around the room until landing on Arthur and Morgana. Gwen took notice and immediately knew to explain.

"This is Arthur Pendragon and Morgana le Fey. Arthur is a skilled swordsman and is interested in joining the Knights. Morgana is a witch, and she helped me secure the dragon, sir."

"Our first priority needs to be to secure this Merlin. I would like you three to return to the mansion and help Merlin to escape. This isn't our first dealing with Mordred. I need you to be careful. Take any supplies you need. You are dismissed."

* * *

><p>It was morning. Arthur had hoped that it wouldn't have been this long and the smoke would have had you think differently. It billowed from the pile of wood and metal that was in front of them. Arthur had been too late. Arthur had been too late. Too. Late. His eyes drifted along the rubble.<p>

_Arthur._

Arthur swore he heard something.

_Arthur._

He ran to the sound.

_Arthur._

He tripped over some rubble.

_Arthur._

He started to dig.

_Arthur._

His hands bled as he sliced them on sharp metal and rough wood.

_Arthur._

He was so close. "Hold on, Merlin!" he screamed.

_Arthur._

And there he was. Black etched into the ground. The shape of a body, barely recognizable, just a silhouette scorched deep into the earth. There was a shinny piece of metal which shimmered, even though most of the light was being soaked up by the smoke.

The ring. Arthur picked it up. The red jewel was faint against the tarnished metal. _My Merlin._

He placed the ring on his hand, right where Merlin would have kept it, and his mind flashed back to Merlin, to Merlin forcing Arthur to fall through the portal. What if he had stayed? What if he had stayed? Would Merlin still be alive? Would Merlin still be—

It wasn't until now that he realized Gwen had him in her arms, and he was screaming into her shoulder.


	23. Chapter 23: Moving

__**A/N: This chapter is a lot darker than the other's and the next few of them are going to be similar to this. You have been warned.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Four months later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>Richard had publicly announced the death of his step son, his wife and his "butler's" son. The announcement had shaken the company, but Richard, being the tycoon that he was, was able to twist it into a story of how he would use their life insurance to better the company. After pouring ten million pounds into the UK market and 20 million dollars in the US market, he was able to bounce his stock up fifty points.<p>

_Two birds with one stone and a couple mil in profit. What a glorious day it is._

The fire at the mansion was declared an accident, and it was believed that Arthur and Merlin had been the only fatalities. Richard had confessed that he only would use propane to cook and had an inspection done. After a touch of bribery, it was only natural that they declared the fire was caused by a leaky fuel line.

Uther and Ygraine grieved for their only son, but little did they know, he had decided to join the Knights with Gwen and Morgana. He had to let them think he was dead otherwise they were a target, and Arthur could not deal with losing another loved one.

Richard pushed the money he made back from his investments into the Purge, but a more sinister plot was being developed. The white jewel with Hunith's soul burned a hole in his pocket, a hole that only something cutting edge could fill. His mind frequently flew through various magical text, all dating back to the mythical days of Camelot. He researched Necromancy, Possession, Demon Magic, but nothing seemed quite as interesting as the topic of a Chimera.

-o-

Gwen had begun to understand life—or so she thought. She spent her time with less yelling and less swearing and more passion and forgiveness. She had fallen from her First Officer position into a more lenient Third Officer position, which allowed more flexible hours and less pay, but it also gave her time to spend with someone she'd been missing for quite some time. Morgana.

They weren't dates, not really. It was just to the cinema, and then maybe dinner. Gwen was adamant that she wasn't ready for a relationship, and Morgana was okay with that because just spending time with her was good enough.

As the days turned into months, they started seeing each other more and more, and soon Morgana was practically living out of Gwen's fat, something she couldn't help but smile about every time she woke up, knowing that Gwen was only a room over.

-o-

Dear Diary,

I think I'm starting to get Gwen back and it feels just so amazing. I want to make it clear that I do NOT take pleasure in the fact that Lance is dead, but I look at this like it was a "meant to be" kinda thing, you know? Ugh, it's difficult, because I want to be so close to her, yet I know that Morgause still disapproves and this band on my wrist can only contain her for so long.

She still scares me, and yet she's my best friend.

Love,

Morgana.

-o-

Arthur had begun his preliminary training. It was a six month course to get into the Knights because unlike Gwen, he wasn't a genius for combat and he had a lot to learn—but Arthur was a skilled swordsman and that won him many points with the Knight's military wing.

He had learned a lot about the Knight's since he'd arrived, about how they weren't just militant rebels, but had a science and research wing, a medical wing, a military wing, a political wing, and an education wing, that helped educate higher officers of almost every government in the world about Magic, about how it's used and the risks. Apparently Magic was as common as being left handed, and the Knight's were an organization that had been built to protect that and those who were magical.

Arthur had also found out the real meaning of the Purge. It wasn't to kill the magical creatures but was to take their power and collect it within a few select people, a few magical and a few not. He learned that when you drink the blood or eat an organ of a magical creature, its blood reacts with yours and its antibodies magical-ize your body, similar to how a mother's body feminizes a male fetus in the womb. Eating the rich organs like the kidneys, heart, liver, lungs, brain, can give you an intense boost in magic, back in the days it was a common way for bandits to get "high", and just like a drug, you can over dose.

Mordred was a poster child for that. Magic twisted his body and soul, making him a shell of his former sell, driving him deep into madness.

The most important thing that Arthur had learned over the last three months, however, was how to deal with pain. He was slowly getting over the fact that Merlin, _his Merlin, _was gone. At first it had been cold and dry, like frostbite, but as time went on he became calmer, and he started to think less of Merlin and more of now. He started to wake up without having cried into his pillow the night before. He started to live again.

Almost three months after Merlin's death, Arthur felt ready to really flourish again. He was scoring higher and higher in his testing with the Knights, and he was waking up brighter and happier and with a new purpose. There was a cute woman by the name of Mithian who worked the reception's desk at HQ.

He was going to ask her out for coffee tomorrow.

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Eight months later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>Merlin hurt. He hurt bad. His mind was slow and groggy. He couldn't see anything around him, but at the same time he wasn't sure if his eyes were open. There was a comforting glow though, not light or heat but, something, something was in the darkness with him. It made him feel like he was going to be okay, like he was going to make it.<p>

_I'll come back for you, Arthur. I will._

"_Merlin_!"

Arthur sat up in his bed. There was a thin layer of sweat glazing his body. His eyes stung. He had been crying. He sank into the bed and placed his hands over his face. Every. Single. Night. He couldn't go just one night without thinking of Merlin.

He felt the metal of Merlin's ring on his forehead and pulled his hand away to look at it. The silver had become dark and tarnished from wear, the red jewel at the tip was all but glowing. He should have taken it off to clean it but he couldn't bear to part with it, not even for a second.

Even though it was so long ago, Arthur couldn't help

"Everything okay?"

Arthur turned laid back down in bed and wrapped his arms around Mithian. He cautiously ran his fingers through her hair, the texture, the feeling, it wasn't right, it wasn't_ Merlin._

"Nothing... Just a bad dream is all," he cooed, and he held her close, trying so hard to feel everything he felt for Merlin with her. He tried until he fell asleep, where his dreams reunited him with his love once again.

-o-

Gwen found herself falling back in love with Morgana again. She wasn't ready for a relationship, but they had spent all their free time together—it was like the old times again. Gwen still missed Lance every day, but it was getting easier, better. She was stronger. Her voice was booming when she talked now and she was nowhere near as shrill or tyrannical as she used to be. She attributed this to her lax job and happy life style, but deep down she knew better, she knew that it was because she had been with her true love again.

Gwen wanted to wait a little longer though, just to be sure. She and Lance had been together for a long time, and she knew that this was a post relationship high, something that could fall just as fast as it built up. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Morgana again. Gwen couldn't live with her self if that happened.

They were having dinner again tomorrow, and Gwen realized that at the end of her day, the only important thing _was _Morgana. She had to take a chance; she had to let herself go, even though it was against her better judgment.

-o-

Richard had finally begun his project. He ran his hands along the large sedated lion in front of him. He was such a magnificent creature. A large golden mane, powerful teeth, Richard lifted each paw and pushed gently on the middle, extending the claws. Fierce and powerful, _perfect._

Richard picked up a bone saw and turned it on. The vibration filling his hand, he placed it against the still breathing lion's leg, it twitched a little in its drug induced slumber. _Not enough sedatives... oh well, _Richard thought.

He had to be quick with the wet pieces of flesh he had stripped from the lion and various other animals. This would only work if the organ's we're still alive. The wings of an eagle, magically enhanced to have three times the wing span. The back legs of a lion and the arms of a moose, the head of a goat, and a bull with a third head being the snake that extended from where the tail would be. The torso of a bear and, finally, the heart of a human, inside it the white jewel he had created months ago.

Together, at once, Mordred flipped the switch of his machine, and with a few Old English words, electricity spun a thread of life from multiple receptors across the room. The platform rose into the sky and the top of the building opened, breaking the cover of the storm. Lighting was attracted instantly, and with help from Mordred, it found its target: the crudely stitched together body of a creature only Satan himself could think of.

As the platform lowered, Richard's eyes were wide in surprise. The stitches were gone and skin seemed to have grown over, fur from the animals had mixed and spread, creating beautiful designed along the body, feathers, scales, fur mixed together in a beautiful mural that spanned the length of the creature. Its eyes opened slowly, and as all of the mouths opened at the same time, a wail of pain escaped the lips and Richard held up a gauntlet. He flexed his fingers inside it and watched as he thought the creature into submission. He forced it to walk on its sore muscles and he almost laughed as it did its best to reject him, but his thoughts and Mordred's magic of metal and technology were too much for the creature. It bowed before him, just as Richard had wanted.

"Welcome back, Hunith," Richard mocked, a sly grin covering his face. "You're going to be very useful for the first time in our entire marriage. Lock her away."

Mordred nodded and did his best to place a magical chain around the creature's body, being in the body of a child made things difficult sometimes, especially when the enemy is five times your size.

_I'm so sorry, Merlin, my baby, I'm so sorry for what he did to you._

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Twelve Months Later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>Merlin could see daylight now. He wasn't ready yet, not really. He felt stronger, stronger than the day before, but still weaker than tomorrow. The voice in his head kept telling him that it was alright, that things were going to be okay. The time he had spent in this <em>place <em>was endless, he knew that it was magical and he knew whatever it was had saved him from death the night he faced Mordred. The only thing that kept him going was the reunion with Arthur and the fact that he was still alive. He could feel him, he still wore his ring, and that had a bond with Merlin, something that dimensions couldn't but off.

_It's going to be a while longer, but we'll be together soon, okay? I love you, Arthur Pendragon, I really do._

-o-

"Kill him." Richard commanded.

Hunith tried so hard to resist Richard's thoughts, but they were sharp in her mind like a sword on fire. Hunith couldn't bring her eyes to the target in front of her. It was a little boy, no older than six or seven. Richard had been testing her as hard as he could, but this, this was different. This time he had wanted to test how far he could push her, how far he could test her spirit before she broke.

The boy tried to draw himself back into the corner of the room. The monster in front of him was something he only heard of in faerie tales. He was waiting for a superhero now, waiting for someone to save him. He pulled his little blanket close to him. He was still in his pajamas but they were soaked with his own urine. He tried to scream and call out, but he could barely muster up the courage to breathe, let alone call for salvation.

"P-please..." the boy croaked. "I-I just w-w-w-want my mommy." He started to cry again at the end of his last words and Hunith whimpered at the boy—he looked so much like her Merlin.

Richard held his hand out and closed his eyes. He let the thoughts of murder flow through his mind, down his arm, into the gauntlet, and into Hunith's mind. He repeated the scene over and over again in his head. Mordred watched with his eyes wide, waiting, a large twisted grin on his face.

She tried. She tried so hard. She didn't want to do this; she didn't want any of this. But she couldn't control herself anymore. She felt the teeth of all her heads sink into hot flesh and her hooves smash into the fragile skeleton that was beneath her, venom, saliva, and sin pouring into the young frame. In just a few bites, the body below her stopped screaming and fell limp, the taste of iron and hate on her tongues.

Mordred laughed as hard as he could, his shrill voice echoing through the laboratory, the feeling of success overcoming him. He wiped a few drops of blood from his face, bringing them to his lips. Richard clapped and Hunith turned around, bearing her blood stained teeth from all the faces she carried, tears rolling from every single eye.

"Enough of you," Richard said firmly. "Mordred, put her away." Richard left the lab and walked up into his new mansion with his new wife and his new step son and his new life and his new plans and everything was just... well... _Perfect._

-o-

Morgana stretched and arched her back as the morning light irritated her eyes, breaking through the window. Her hand came down hard on the person beside her.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Morgana said through a yawn. She smiled cheerily, her teeth radiating a shine from the sunlight. Her black hair, even though messy, still looked professional, something Gwen had always envied and cherished about her, the small things, they were perfect.

"It's alright, really," Gwen said irritably, once she realized she was staring, and Morgana didn't even notice that the response was awkwardly late, she herself had been fantasizing as well. Gwen gave Morgana a toothy smile and sat up to kiss her. They spent the night together last night for the first time since Morgana had left, and later that day they were going to see Arthur, for the first time in months, it was, in her mind, a great day.

-o-

Arthur was walking along the lake. His royal clothes gently drug along the ground. It was a beautiful day, the lake was reflecting an almost cloudless sky, and of course, Merlin was with him.

"You know, sire, I like it when you show this side of you," Merlin remarked. He was a few paces behind Arthur, dragging behind like he usually did. It was funny, no matter how obnoxious Merlin was, Arthur couldn't be annoyed for long, just one flash of that smile and Arthur could feel himself melt away into a world where he wasn't "king" or had responsibility, but into a world that consisted of Merlin and himself, of Merlin and Arthur, two sides of the same coin.

"What do you mean? I am always this romantic," Arthur replied. He held a hand to his chest, pretending to be offended. Merlin smiled at him. Arthur's hand was in his, they were together, like he knew they'd always be. Merlin lifted his hand and the water from the lake began to move and shift, the water turning into something living and they danced in the sunlight, reflecting a bounty of colors across the lake and the land around it.

Arthur was mesmerized. The water took the shape of creatures he didn't know existed, something that was a fish yet not and something that was a bird but also a snake. Beside him, Merlin watched Arthur carefully, and he stepped up his game. More and more water began to pour into the sky, making a spiral of water that rotated slowly, with water creatures dancing around it. Arthur couldn't help but laugh in excitement.

Arthur turned to Merlin and walked over to him quickly, planting a firm kiss on his lips. His tongue darted deep into Merlin's mouth and he wrapped both his arms around him, pulling him as close as he could get. Merlin whimpered as he did every time Arthur kissed him and he felt a shadow overcome them.

And then they were wet. Merlin hadn't meant to let go of the water, but every time Arthur kissed him he would lose control of everything. The lake was dark and muddy and Arthur was laughing and Merlin was smiling with those big ears and that beautiful face and those cheekbones and—

"Arthur?" the priest asked quietly, his voice low enough only for those close enough to hear. "Did you hear me?"

"Oh yes, of course," Arthur replied automatically, shaking the daydream from his head. He looked forward with a serious look on his face. It had everything it should have had, except for the expression of true love. "I do," he finally said, half forcing a smile.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The small crowd behind them roared, Arthur peaked a glance to where his mum and dad should be sitting, empty, of course.

Arthur pulled Mithian close and kissed her with everything he wished he could pour into Merlin. His eyes became wet and red and Mithian held him close, pulling his face into the crevice of her neck, stroking his hair with her hand.

"Aw, Arthur," she whispered in his ear. "I love you, too."

* * *

><p><em>I'll be there as fast as I can Arthur, we'll be together again soon.<em>


	24. Chapter 24: Friction

__**A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with me and thank you all for the kind reviews, I'm sorry for taking so long to upload. I'd like you all to know that this is the _beta _stage of the fic, soon I'll be going back and edit a lot of parts of a lot of the chapters, expanding and such, I'll let you know when its all done, nothing to make you re-read it twice but if you want the full experience, I'd recommend waiting until its complete. Otherwise, please enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Sixteen months later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Oh shut it, Merlin!" Arthur yelled. Morgana was <em>not responsible<em> for what Merlin was saying.

"No!" Merlin retorted defiantly. He placed his hands on his hips and gave Arthur a stern glare.

"What do you mean _no?_ I am your Prince! You will do as _I say!" _Arthur bellowed, his face bright red in anger and fear. There was no truth to these accusations. Right?

Merlin briskly walked up to Arthur and wrapped his arms around him, catching him by surprise.

"M-Merlin?" Arthur questioned, his hands raised slightly, not reacting to Merlin's touch.

"You're so much more than that," Merlin whispered in Arthur's ear, nuzzling his neck. "I need you to trust me."

Arthur let his hand fall instinctively to Merlin's back while the other fell to his hair, curling a small section on the back of his neck with his index finger.

"I-I... I will take it into consideration. But we must not let a word of this reach my father," the Prince warned. He was doing his best to meet Merlin half way.

Merlin pulled back slowly, with wide eyes and a grin on his face. "Thank you, sire." He leaned in and kissed Arthur on the cheek before scampering away to the door.

Arthur sat down at his desk and Merlin left. _W-What was that? _Arthur wondered, his fingers lingering over the wet spot Merlin had left on his cheek.

-o-

The Knights paid well. Arthur was able to afford a mortgage on a new house with the bonus he had gotten last Christmas. He and Mithian were moving in a few days, and life was going to be grand. Right? Because to Arthur, a happy life meant being in love; it meant being able to share yourself with who you really want to be with, and he did _love _Mithian, but there was something there, something holding him back, something still lingering in the back of his head no matter how hard he tried to forget.

_It was just a few months together. He doesn't mean anything anymore. I've moved on. It was a fling. He probably didn't even love me back. Just a fuck toy. Just for fun. He's dead, and there's nothing that can change that._

"Arthur?" Mithian asked as they unpacked their things. "There's something I need to show you." She took his hand and pulled him into the kitchen, where there were boxes scattered along the counter and drawers and cupboards wide open.

Arthur gave her a questioning look and she brought her hands out from behind her.

There, in the palms of her hands, was a small kitten.

"It's a kitty! I found it outside and I wanna keep it," she said as Arthur extended his hand and scratched the top of the kitten's head, ruffling its fur ruffled a little. It lifted its head to sniff his fingers.

"What do you wanna name him?" Mithian asked.

Arthur didn't have to think—not for long, anyway.

"Merlin."

-o-

Merlin woke up in a strangely familiar cave, where the water seemed to glow and reflected bright white lines along the crystals on the walls. Merlin slowly stood up, his muscles sore and his eyes tired. His breathing echoed in the chamber as he made his way towards the dim light that reflected down the tunnel.

The outside was bright, but different than the last time. The trees were purple with black leaves, the ground was black, and the sky looked scorched and dark.

"I see you're awake, Emrys."

Merlin spun around, almost losing his balance. When he regained himself, he saw a beautiful woman standing at the entrance of the cave. She seemed young, maybe only a few years older than him, and she had a knife and was using it to cut into an apple that was blue and pink. She gave him a sly look and Merlin finally realized he was naked and in his full morning glory, all a little stiff. He quickly covered himself and she chuckled. With the snap of her fingers he was dressed in a red, short sleeved shirt and some shorts.

"Perfect," the woman said and she wiggled her finger for Merlin to follow her. "I'm sure you have many questions, and I'm sure I have all the answers. So. Go. Ask your little heart away."

Merlin caught up to her and walked a little behind her as they moved along the plane, never really leaving the forest but never walking into the flat land.

Merlin asked the first thing that came to mind, though to be fair, his mind was still very foggy and he was very confused. "Where am I?"

"Really?" the woman retorted; she almost looked disgusted. "You're not going to ask who I am or why you're alive or 'Where is Arthur?'"

Merlin shook his head. "I was going to ask those! You didn't say I only had one question!"

"Hmm. That's fair I guess, but I'll just talk, how about that?" she said, chuckling. "My name is Nimueh. I'm a friend of Gaius, and I was once a friend to your father." Merlin's eyes widened but he kept his mouth shut—it was best to wait till she was done before asking more questions. "You are in Avalon, but you may also know this as The Fade, the In-Between, or Limbo. Arthur is still alive, and happy, for the most part."

Merlin nodded, doing his best to keep up with her. Nimueh noticed the weakness in his stride.

"You're weak because you died, Merlin." Merlin let out a shocked gasp and she looked down in guilt, biting her lip. "I tried to get out of the fire before it destroyed you, but I was too slow. It takes... time, to set up a portal from the mortal world to here and I'm not the all powerful witch I used to be. I was able to create a new body for you, and thank _me_," she giggled at her own joke, "that I was quick and wrapped your soul in this crystal." She held out a blue crystal that appeared to be faded and cracked. "I was able to save it for when your body fully regenerated. Your muscles, your eyes, this is the first time you've used them, so it's expected that you're a little weak and groggy. It'll wear off soon, I promise."

Merlin pinched his skin. It was a perfect replica; he didn't even notice it was different until she said something, but he could definitely feel it. _I wonder if Arthur will notice it as well, _Merlin thought.

"Arthur has... moved on, honey," Nimueh said, and rather bluntly at that.

Merlin stopped walking. _Of course, he has. _

But… Merlin knew that Arthur thought he was dead, and surely he couldn't hold on to Merlin's memory for forever.

"He's married now," Merlin winced at the word as Nimueh carried on, "and he even has his own home." She turned around and placed a hand on his shoulder. Merlin walked up close to her and rested his head on her own. "He still thinks about you, every day, but his life has changed for now, for the better, yeah? And you know that. He's away from the dangerous task that you are meant to do, _alone._"

Merlin couldn't look at her. He felt his magic boiling inside him. The thought of Arthur was the only thing that kept him going, but he knew this was for the best. Merlin was dangerous and he would only get Arthur killed... right? He also knew that once he eliminated the Purge, Arthur wouldn't have to be in the Knights anymore, and he could really live his life with his new... _wife._

"Come love, look on the bright side, he's happy, yeah?" Nimueh comforted, pulling back and taking Merlin's hand and dragging him along. "Let me show you to your new home. There is a lot of work to be done."

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Twenty months later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>Mordred loved his toys. He loved the children his master gave to him, loved cutting them apart and putting them back together and then making them fight one another for food. If you had to ask Mordred for the best part of his day, he would answer that it was seeing how many organs he could remove before a child would die. The best he got was everything but the heart and skin before his little body finally gave out.<p>

Mordred's magic was special and it was why Richard loved him. Mordred would make machines use magic, which was something no other sorcerer on the planet could do. He could make robots with souls, people with robotic limbs, enchant buildings to think and feel, even some non-machine things like rocks or fragments of metal, he could make them _live._

But Mordred couldn't do those things with real people, and he hated that. He found out that by eating the flesh of others he could gain their knowledge of magic, but no matter how many people he ate, he still couldn't bend life to his will. So, for now, he'd have to make do with putting laser cannons on dogs and filling his stomach with human brain.

Oh how he loved the taste of raw flesh, as good as the screams before it.

-o-

"Where are we?" Arthur asked. His eyes were covered with a blindfold. He and Mithian had been walking from the car (she had blindfolded him the second they got in the car, and Arthur was quite annoyed that he had to wear a blindfold for over two hours) for at least a half an hour. They had just stopped but Mithian said nothing, and Arthur was left with just the sounds of rustling and clinking glass.

"Don't you open your eyes yet, Arthur," Mithian warned. There was a few more seconds of odd noises before Arthur felt Mithian behind him, undoing the knot in the scarf around his eyes.

Arthur's eyes had to adjust to the daylight. As everything came into focus he realized they were in a secluded place along the bank of a river. There was a small blanket with a basket and a wine bottle with accompanying glasses.

_Merlin._

"Do you like it?" Mithian asked, her voice tender and loving. "I figured we should do something nice, and, well, this seemed perfect."

Arthur couldn't help but see Merlin and him rolling around on the grass, making fun of people walking by, stealing kisses, touching, cuddling, loving… _No, stop it! He is DEAD, don't you understand? He's DEA—_

"Arthur?" Mithian asked again. She was in front of him now, a concerned look on her face. Arthur thought she was uncomfortably close, but then again she was his _wife. _Arthur hated that word, with a passion, he did... love... Mithian, but it was more complex than that. She was great and everything he would ever want in a woman, but she wasn't Merlin.

"It's great, babe," Arthur replied. He gave her a forced grin and she gave him a never more concerned look. She knew something was up. "Really," Arthur continued, "it's just been a long week, and I'm just stressed, I'm sorry."

"No no!" Mithian defended. "Really, I understand." She took a few steps closer, until her breasts were against his chest. Arthur twitched in his pants. Her lips were so close to his. "We'll just relax here, okay?" she asked, biting her lip.

Arthur leaned in and kissed her. The entire time, he couldn't help but think how she didn't use her teeth enough; how her tongue was a little too short and how her mouth wasn't sweet enough. When she undressed him, he thought about how she didn't suck on him quite as tightly as she should, how her teeth would sometimes drag, how she completely neglected his balls and his arse. When they fucked, he couldn't help but realize that she didn't look at him the same way, she wasn't as tight around him, her hips were too wide and boney, her moans too forced and weak, she didn't move enough, she didn't bite, she didn't lick, she didn't do what he wanted her to instinctively do. And when he finished, he pulled out slowly, understanding that his orgasm was only mild, that his passion right then and there was chemical, not spiritual, she wasn't right... she wasn't Merlin.

_She wasn't Merlin._

-o-

"Merlin."

"Will."

Merlin looked up from the table he was sitting at. It had been months since he first arrived at The Fade, and Will had been the only friend he had made. Like himself, Will was a strong warlock who had been saved by Nimueh from death, but unlike him, however, Will was forever bound to The Fade, due to some technicality that Merlin didn't understand too well.

"How are ya'?" Will asked. He picked up a stick of cheese from Merlin's plate and began to nibble on it. Merlin didn't look up. Will had been harassing him for months. He was cute and he liked Merlin but Merlin really wasn't interested. It was still too soon. _But not soon enough for Arthur, _it would seem_._

"Merlin?" Will asked him again.

"I'm fine, William," Merlin replied, probably a little too cold, but he was trying to do his work. It was a lot like being in a university; there were classes taught by God-knows- what creatures, and courses and credits and degrees. It was like another world in there, even though the entire land was no bigger than London. It was strange, this world. They didn't have a lot of technology, but they did have simple things like electricity, toilets, etc, and the only thing that bothered Merlin was the lack of internet and computers. Porn was impossible to come by and since he was still broken over Arthur, he didn't get around to getting laid, even when he wanted to masturbate, all he could think about was Arthur's cock, hard, thick, not too long, maybe about five or six inches, but he knew how to use it, and, oh God, when Arthur would come in his mouth, the feeling of each pulse, the jets of come, his moans as he—

Merlin's train of thought was broken when he realized Will was awkwardly staring at Merlin, an eyebrow raised as if he knew exactly what he was thinking about. Merlin blushed, feeling naked, and then Will broke the ice. "Wanna go to a party tonight?"

"No." The response was quick and simple. Will has asked Merlin a million times if he wanted to do something that could possibly lead to sex and/or potential drug use. Merlin always took the high road.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why do you say so?"

"Just because!"

"... Because _why_?"

Merlin slammed his hands down on the table and glared at Will, who had a smug grin on his face as if he had won a contest. Merlin almost thought that look was cute. Almost.

"If I go with you, will you shut up and let me work?" Merlin asked, irritated.

"Yes, sir!" Will responded, doing his best not to laugh through the words. but his eyes betrayed him. Merlin couldn't resist, something about Will was—_Arthur._

"Fine, what time?" Merlin asked, defeated and slightly irritated, his good mood deflated by that one singular thought. Merlin realized he was almost scowling and he threw a half smile up, hoping Will didn't notice.

"Eight. I'll pick you up." Will gave Merlin a crooked smile, got up, and walked away.

-o-

Richard laughed as Hunith bit herself over and over again with her snake fangs. She screamed with each bite but she had to do it, she had to free herself from this life.

"You stupid bitch." Richard laughed. "If you knew anything about snakes, you'd know that you're immune to your own venom."

Hunith stopped biting herself. She leaped at the cage bars, causing Richard to flinch. A scowl broke out on his face. He pulled a picture of Arthur out of his pocket and then held up his gauntlet.

"You will find him, do you understand me?" Richard commanded. His eyes were black and cold. Hunith felt his thoughts seeping into her mind like the venom she so desperately tried to force into herself. "You will find him and you will kill him. I know he didn't die in the fire, and I know he knows about me. We can't have that, can we?" Richard smiled at Hunith and then closed his eyes. Hunith fell to the ground, screaming through every larynx she had. Mordred clapped excitedly as he watched her flail and as she tried so hard to refuse the orders he was giving her.

Richard opened his eyes and smiled, unlocking the gate. He watched Hunith step out and bow her head.

"Good Frankenstein," Richard joked. "Now go!"

Hunith's body began to phase and in an instant she was gone, the magic of the cell no longer restricting her movement. Richard clapped and looked to Mordred.

"You gave her that power, did ya'?" Richard asked.

Mordred nodded and clapped again.

"You're... you're really something, you know that?" Richard smiled at Mordred and walked over to a large metal door. He opened it, and inside was the sleeping body of a teenager, no older than fourteen. Mordred walked on all fours over to the door and laughed. His disgusting shrill voice echoed through the small metal room the boy was locked in, startling him and causing him to wake from his own nightmare into the nightmare that Richard had created for him.

"I know you like them young, but this is all I have."

Richard left the metal door opened and walked out of the laboratory. As he reached the top of the steps of the basement, two floors up, he could hear the faintest of screams. He smiled.

-o-

The party was louder and more obnoxious than Merlin had expected. An entire night of studying, of being one step closer to saving the world (Arthur), wasted because Will couldn't stop harassing him. Merlin and Will walked up to the large house that was one of the frats that Merlin didn't associate with. He could tell by the screaming and the scent of vomit and alcohol in the air that this was going to be a _long _night.

"Merlin, can you at least try to look cheerful?" Will asked. Merlin shot him a dirty look.

"I told you I didn't want to come." Merlin replied coldly. He crossed his arms over his chest and walked ahead of Will into the house. He needed alcohol. Now.

-o-

"I like you."

Merlin turned to find Will standing behind him with a half empty bottle of rum in his hand. He had a stupid grin on his face and his cheeks were bright red. He swayed as he tried to keep balance. Merlin gave him a questioning gaze while Will stood there, giving him eyes that could only be read as _I want to try to make babies with you._

"I like you a lot," Will continued, and a broken smile crossed his face. There was a twinkle in his eye. Merlin had to stop this before his drinking got out of hand and he tried to sleep with someone, or worse, tried to sleep with _him._

"Right then," Merlin responded, rolling his eyes. "Look, you're pissed. Let's get you home, yeah?"

Merlin took Will's arm and placed it over his shoulder, and together they stumbled out of the house and down the street to where Will lived. Merlin could feel Will's eyes on him the entire time.

-o-

Merlin laid Will down onto his bed. He pulled his quilt up to cover him. Will took an opening and quickly leaned up to kiss Merlin on the lips, using his right arm to pull him towards him. Merlin grunted and pulled back, pushing Will away and stumbling backwards towards the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Merlin yelled.

Will flinched at his anger, but he didn't draw away completely. "I see you look at me!" he screamed back. "I see you, I see you look at me and then you like," he swallowed hard, "like—you look at me like you want something, like you want _me, _okay? But then, like, right after wards I see your eyes drift to the floor and I can _see you, _Merlin, I can _see you _thinking about _him _yeah? And then that look goes away and you just look at me like I'm..." Will took another hard swallow and looked deep into Merlin's eyes. "Like I'm _disgusting._"

Merlin took a few steps towards Will who was obviously very broken in his drunken state. Merlin sat next to him and wrapped an arm around him, pulling Will's head into his chest.

"I just... I just want a chance," Will begged. "I know I'm not as smart or as pretty as-"

"Will, come on," Merlin interrupted, scratching the hair on Will's head. "You know it's not like that. You're wonderful and amaz—"

"Then why!" Will yelled. He sat up and almost fell over and Merlin had to lean in close to catch him. Their faces were only inches apart. "Then why won't you just give me one night... to show you that I can be, maybe someone you want..."

Will was less than an inch from Merlin's mouth. His lips gently brushed against Merlin's and Merlin pushed his head forward, wrapping his arm around Will and pulling him in.

_Maybe it was time to stop living in the dream world that Arthur was going to take him back._

William pulled Merlin on top of him. Merlin's mouth was hot and wet again his own. He ran his fingers up Merlin's shirt and caressed his back, trailing down lightly until he slid his hands under Merlin's pants and gripped his arse.

_Maybe it was time to stop thinking about all the reasons Will wasn't right, why he wasn't Arthur, and time to start thinking about why he was right, why it's good that he's not Arthur._

Merlin kissed Will's neck and took his shirt off, then removed his own. He licked and bit at one of Will's nipples until it was slick and hard. He unbuttoned Will's pants and slid his hand down, stroking and twisting his hand around Will, making him groan and hiss. Will did the same thing back, latching his teeth onto Merlin's chest as Merlin stroked him, then reaching up and pulling Merlin's head down into a deep, wet, and sloppy kiss.

_Maybe it was time to stop reliving the past and start living for the future._

Will removed his pants and then Merlin's. They lay on top of each other, grinding, kissing, biting, touching. Merlin couldn't hold out for much longer, all this time with no one to touch like this, and he felt himself let go. Will bucked his hips and Merlin bit down on his neck, coaxing Will into his own orgasm.

Merlin fell asleep there that night, cuddled into Will's arms.

_Maybe it was time to move on._

* * *

><p><em><strong>-Twenty-four months later-<strong>_

* * *

><p>Merlin interlocked his fingers with Arthur's hand. They were lying on the grass somewhere in the middle of nowhere; a place that Arthur said was his haven as a boy, a meadow with a large tree in the middle. Arthur turned on his side, laying his head on Merlin's chest.<p>

"You're never going to leave me, right?" Arthur asked. He buried his face deeper into the tattered cloth of Merlin's servant clothes, inhaling deep, taking in his scent, his odor, his essence. It was intoxicating, it made him hard and hot and sad and happy and in love.

"That's a stupid question, surely sire." Merlin chuckled. Arthur looked up at him. He wasn't laughing. Merlin sat up and cradled Arthur's head in his lap.

"Of course not you silly plonker," Merlin joked, his voice morphed then, into a more tender and loving tone. "I would never leave you, ever. Not in this life, or the next, or the one after that. I promise, we'll always find each other."

"Good," Arthur mumbled into Merlin's leg. His words were still ringing in Arthur's ears, causing his heart to race. He believed every word. Merlin was a powerful wizard; surely he could make something like that happen. His mind drifted to what it would have been like if he had been forced to marry that Mithian princess from across the way and shuddered at the thought. Only one person was good enough for Arthur, good enough to be his prince, his lover, his best friend, his soul-mate, and that was Merlin. _Only ever Merlin._

"I can't imagine life without you, Merlin," Arthur confessed after an eternity of thoughts and fears. "I just... can't."

-o-

"Are you ready, Merlin?" Nimueh asked.

Merlin nodded. The green portal in front of him showed the way to the gates of a party.

"Now do not forget. The disguising spell will break if someone finds out who you really are, so be sure not to drop any hints. You'll seem odd just because of the way the magic works, so don't do anything suspicious. And remember, the target is Mordred. He must be killed, whatever the cost."

"Wait!"

Merlin turned around to see Will running up to him. He pulled Merlin close and kissed him deeply. Merlin brought his hands around him and held him close.

"For good luck, yeah?" Will whispered into Merlin's ear while twirling his finger in hair.

"Yeah, thanks," Merlin replied, smiling. "I'm going to need it."

-o-

"Right, sir," Arthur replied. He saluted his higher up.

"Do the Knights proud boy, slay that sick son of a bitch," the commander said.

Arthur compressed his sword into a small disc and slipped it into his pocket. He tugged the tie on his suit and pulled out his invitation. It was time to bring Mordred to justice, for his wife, for his mother and father, but most of all, for the memory of Merlin, so he didn't die in vain.

Arthur left the building and entered into a limo waiting outside for him. Gwen was the driver, and Morgana was already waiting.

Together, the three of them were going to bring Mordred to his knees, and slice his fucking head off, and Arthur was going to love every second of it.

Merlin stepped through the portal. His faux-face was that of a beautiful brunette woman. He could lure Mordred away with that. He had a fetish for carving beautiful people. Merlin walked up to the front door and handed the guard his invitation.

"Right this way, Freya," the man said, handing back Merlin's invitation. He stood aside. Merlin thanked him and entered the huge ball room that had hundreds of investors, friends, and family of Richard, but most importantly, somewhere in this crowd, there was also Mordred.

_It's time._


	25. Chapter 25: Damnation

**A/N: I dedicate this chapter to my wonderful beta – Nicola. She's really the only reason this is getting done so fast. Also, thank you all for your kind comments and reviews, it's the fuel to my passion and I look forward to seeing what you guys have to say. Thank you all so much!**

* * *

><p>The layout of the hall was bright, much brighter than the parties Richard had thrown in the past. The papers had been quite clear about Richard and Mordred's relationship. Mordred was the adopted son of Richard; his IQ was through the roof; he was already taking classes at Oxford. The boy never talked, however, and that added a layer of mystery that Richard's P.R spoon fed to anyone willing to listen.<p>

Arthur, Mithian, and Morgana casually mingled. Their ear pieces were wired to an outside com that Gwen manned, in disguise as a limo. Mordred was bound to be here, but that wasn't what they were after entirely. They were sure this is where the operations were being held, the hundreds of missing people created an arc in which the Richard Mansion sat in the middle of. The plan was to find these operations, shut them down, and kill Mordred at any cost.

Morgana had a knack for being seductive. Only an hour into the party she had extracted a good bit of information from the older, drunker, males at the party. Mordred did in fact live here, and the mansion received quite a lot of medical supplies, similar to a hospital, and most importantly, there were levels under the mansion that were not on the official blue-prints that were sent to the government.

Morgana had just learned that last piece of information before she felt a wave of magic fill the air. Nostalgia filled her lungs and she inhaled deeply, letting the aura engulf her. Morgana turned to the door to see a beautiful young woman walk in. She was in a red dress down to her feet that gently skimmed along the floor, and she had dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Morgana was _almost _fooled.

Merlin entered the large hall. It was disgusting, to be in the same room as Richard. Merlin couldn't see him yet, or Mordred for that matter, but he was quickly distracted as he saw an angry Morgana walking towards him.

_There's no way she can see me... can she?_

Merlin's thoughts were quickly answered as Morgana grabbed him by the arm and dragged him across the floor, drawing the attention of the crowd and of Arthur and Mithian. Merlin didn't notice Arthur, but Morgana did, and Arthur gave her a curious look that she ignored. Together, Morgana and Merlin went into the designated "Women's" restroom, which really was just a regular toilet with a sign on it. Morgana turned and quickly enchanted the door, to which she turned around and struck Merlin as hard as she could.

"You fucking little shit!" Morgana screamed, outraged. "How long have you been alive?"

Merlin just stared at her, his hand on his face. His fake face quickly became red and Merlin turned to the floor, his eyes wet and his face flooded with shame.

"A year or so, I think," Merlin whispered.

Morgana nodded her head and paced around the room, trying to regain herself. "Do you... Do you understand what you've done to Arthur?" she coolly asked. She stopped pacing and gave Merlin a thick glare.

"By the time I woke up... He was already m-m..." Merlin struggled on the word, his voice catching in this throat. He thought he was over this, over Arthur. The past few months with Will had been great, albeit he was no Arthur, but he would do. But now, now Merlin had those entire original feelings just torrent their way back into his heart, into his mind. He felt himself begin to crack. He shook his head and walked to the sink, placing both hands on the edges for support. He stared into the mirror, watching Morgana behind him. He regained his composure and took a deep breath, looking Morgana directly in her eyes.

"He's happy now, alright. There was _nothing _I could do, do you understand that? This is _my _destiny, and... I've almost had him killed, I don't know how many times, and... You left Gwen... remember."

Morgana took a step back, she didn't show it in her face, but that struck a nerve deep in her heart.

"You left Gwen for the same reasons I didn't tell Arthur sooner, because I was afraid... I still am," Merlin confessed. He looked away from Morgana and down into the sink. He had never really confronted his abandonment of Arthur – Mordred. Merlin had a job to do. This wasn't the time to sit around and wallow in his own self-pity.

"Listen, Morgana," Merlin began again. He turned around and faced her. "I'm here to do one thing, kill Mordred, and then I'm gone. Arthur cannot know anything about me being alive, okay? Otherwise... I don't know what he'll do." One tear, one single tear fell from Merlin's face as he finished that sentence. A dark smudge under his right eye formed where his make-up began to run. Merlin was doing everything he could to hold himself together. He had a job to do, the world was depending on him, he couldn't break down now.

Morgana unclenched her fists and loosened her jaw. She took a few steps towards Merlin and pulled him into her arms. Merlin rested his head on her shoulder.

"They're here for the same reason, you know," Morgana said.

"Hmm?"

"Arthur, Mithian, me, Gwen… We're here to find Mordred," Morgana replied. "I'm strong enough to see through your magic but, if you're going to do this, you need our help."

"Right," Merlin said, talking a few steps back. "Okay then."

_I have to do this, even if it kills me, I need to work w-wtih Arthur and find Mordred._

"What's your name, as this... tramp?" Morgana asked, a sly grin crawling across her face.

"My name is _Freya, _and she is NOT a tramp," Merlin corrected a half smile showing. Morgana placed her hand on his shoulder and they left the restroom, returning to the hall to find Arthur.

_To find Arthur._

* * *

><p>Merlin entered the room to find Arthur lying on his large bed. He was more sprawled than lying exactly, relaxing with the break he had, now that everything was over. And it was. It was done. They'd won. Morgana had been finally stopped, Camelot was safe again.<p>

Merlin regarded Arthur. The blonde's head was flat on the bed, his eyes closed and his mouth open ever so slightly, and his chest rose and fell steadily with each breath. He'd filled out. Arms that had once been strong but shapeless now formed patterns from underneath his tunic; his newly formed muscles—however new they could be, after countless months, anyway—made something curl in Merlin's stomach, something he hadn't felt in a very long time, not even when he'd... Not even because of his betrayal.

Merlin's clothes were just as tattered as they had been… before, but Arthur was still wearing his noble clothes. It was like nothing had changed.

"You can come lay with me," Arthur said, causing Merlin to jump ten feet into the air. Arthur had cracked open one eye and had titled his head to regard Merlin in the same manner. "Merlin. It's okay."

Merlin lifted up the bottle of wine he brought with him and managed a crooked smile. "I nicked this from the kitchen. Don't tell the guards."

"Don't need it, but nice thought," Arthur replied, seeing through Merlin's plan, and he closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto his bed again. He was tired, so tired, all he wanted was Merlin to come and lay down with him, to feel his heat against Arthur's body, to feel his lips against his.

Merlin swallowed thickly and let his legs carry him to Arthur.

_I'm here. I'm home. I love you_, his mind seemed to scream, but his throat was dry and he couldn't form the words he so wanted Arthur to hear.

Arthur said them for him. It seemed to be nothing but pure instinct when Arthur reached for Merlin's fingers and laced them with his own. Merlin let the wine bottle fall beside him and roll into a crease in the blanket and he closed the gap between the two of them so they were side by side.

Merlin shifted onto his side, keeping his fingers twined with Arthur's. Arthur tilted his head again, this time opening both eyes to stare openly at Merlin.

"I didn't get much chance to say anything earlier," he said.

Merlin shrugged into the bed, letting his head fall onto the back of the pillow beside Arthur's. "S'ok. I wasn't... you know, I wasn't expecting a lot, considering," he croaked, his throat still dry and unused. There'd been so much shouting and then so much crying and he hadn't acknowledged anybody until now.

"Break into the wine," Arthur said, tilting his chin.

"Sure?"

"Mmm."

"Um. I didn't bring glasses."

"Helpful, Merlin, really," Arthur said, but he laughed.

He wanted to open the wine, he did; he wanted to share a drink with Arthur, just because he could; he wanted to get a little tipsy, just because they could; he wanted to remember what it'd been like _before_. He just didn't want to tear his hand from Arthur's. Arthur didn't seem all too willing, either, and let the matter drop, not offering to open it because Merlin wouldn't.

"So," Merlin said, after a while, the wine now forgotten beside him. He could only see the blue of Arthur's eyes, and the blonde of his hair that reflected in them from the little bit of light they had in the room.

"Mmph," Arthur replied eloquently, his eyes closed again. He was tired, so tired. He would celebrate after he'd slept, after he'd had time with Merlin, after they'd gotten the worst out of the way.

"How have you been?"

And then they were laughing uncontrollably, and it felt good to laugh, with each other. After everything, everything that had happened, after their closest friends dying and winning a magical war, after defeating Mordred and Morgana, after training so long to be able to do it, after being away from each other for so long, Merlin wanted to know how he'd been.

"You… Idiot," Arthur managed, still breathless.

"I try."

They laughed again, short, happy, booming sounds that echoed through the room, until they quietened, and they were no more than small giggles that eventually died altogether. They were carried away with the slight draft that moved in from the poorly insulated castle windows, and Arthur felt nostalgia over come him.

"I missed this."

"I missed you," Merlin replied.

"Me, too."

"A lot's happened," Merlin said after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Oh really, Merlin? Thank you for enlightening me with you ever so vast wisdom," Arthur replied.

"You know me."

"I do. I mean, I hope—if it hasn't changed. I mean, I know—"

"Nothing's changed, Arthur."

And then, after months of waiting, months of pretending, they crashed together, fitting together in a way they couldn't with anybody else. It wasn't brilliant. It was _marvelous_, and it wasn't because of the alcohol they hadn't even shared. The way Merlin licked his way into Arthur's mouth; the way he squeezed Arthur's waist and held on as Arthur's legs wrapped themselves around Merlin's middle; the way they moved in sync and how he felt Merlin tug on his hair and nip ever so slightly on his bottom lip, only to give a throaty laugh afterwords and pull back to smile through half-lidded eyes at his lover. Arthur could smell the light scent of wintergreen and vanilla, and then everything came back to him, his love, his passion, everything he wanted in Merlin, everything he needed, needed to survive. Merlin attacked his lips again and shamelessly press himself into Arthur's crotch, and, _oh_—

"Are you—I..."

"Don't stop, you idiot," Arthur said from underneath Merlin with a growl, who was suddenly pushing his away, stumbling over his words and shaking violently. His breath came out in heavy gasps.

"It's been... Arthur..."

"_What_, _Mer_lin," Arthur drawled, already back to his old self. He kept his legs around Merlin, refusing to let him gain the distance he was so desperately begging for. "I want this. You want this. Nothing has changed. It hasn't. It should be simple, really. I'm your king and your husband _and _I demand it."

Merlin bit his lip, reluctantly meeting Arthur's gaze. "But are you sure? Really and truly?"

"_Yes_, Merlin, now _come on._"

Morgana taking over the kingdom more than once, Arthur being distant, then close, then distant, then close; it was all spinning in his head. Merlin couldn't help but lose himself in Arthur. He was a sorcerer, had betrayed Arthur more than once, had left Arthur for a long time, but in the end Arthur was still his husband and they were still in love.

_That's all that mattered._

* * *

><p>Morgana lead the way and she and Merlin quickly made it to where Arthur and Mithian were still mingling. There had been no sign of Mordred or Richard yet, which was weird considering it was <em>Richard's<em> party for _Mordred_. Arthur gave Morgana another curious look.

"Arthur, Mithian. This is Freya. A very... special girl, who's going to help us," Morgana explained. Merlin and Arthur's eyes met and Merlin thought that time was going to stop. He felt his magic bubble and boil inside him and he could barely contain himself. It had been so long, so fucking long. That hair, those teeth, that _smile. _And there she was, Merlin thought, the woman who stole Arthur. She was pretty, and tall—taller than Merlin. Maybe Arthur really wasn't gay; maybe it had just been an experiment.

These thoughts, they were bitter sweet. At least now he could life a half life with Will, instead of living in the fantasy that Arthur was going to come back to him. Merlin still couldn't help but remember. It was like yesterday that they were out on the river, that they had gone to the movies, that Arthur was on top of him, kissing him, licking him, biting him, _loving him. _It was like yesterday that Arthur was inside him, that they were on Merlin's bed. But those times we're over now, those times were dead.

Then their eyes locked. Blue against Blue, Merlin against Arthur. Merlin felt sick, like he was going to vomit all of his emotions, organs, and probably his soul. Arthur looked to him, then to Morgana, then to him, then back to Morgana. But before Arthur could question Morgana's judgment, Richard stood up at the front of the hall. No one had seen him enter and he was standing with Mordred and his "creation". Richard tapped his glass with a spoon and the room fell silent. Arthur subtly lifted the collar of his suit and spoke quietly into his mic.

"Gwen, we have a visual. Both targets."

"Roger that. Stand by."

* * *

><p>After Richard's long and boring speech about how amazing Mordred was and the hard work and teamwork needed to support such a powerful mind, everyone was escorted to the dining hall for dinner. Arthur and Mithian sat on one side of a rather large table with Merlin and Morgana sitting across from them. The dinner was actually really good. There were three courses of food that Merlin couldn't recognize but ate anyway.<p>

As he did, he watched from across the table as Arthur took bites of his food and fed them to Mithian, like she was a dog. Merlin laughed in his head, she did kind of look like a dog. Merlin used his wit to hide from the fact that he was hurting inside, hurting like he was dying, like he could fade away at any moment.

Arthur kicked Morgana from under the table and they all turned to see Mordred walk out of the room and down a flight of steps before the doors closed behind him. Morgana nodded at Arthur and quickly said a few enchantments. The people beside them didn't seem to notice and that was the point—Morgana had bewitched anyone looking their way to forget they were there, and had cloaked them all in a thin sheet of invisibility, a gray tint surrounding them, made of reflective crystals. They had to be careful; if they were too loud their voices would shatter the makeshift barrier and expose them. Together they slowly moved from the table and followed Mordred. Morgana bewitched the area again so when they opened the doors the people who noticed would immediately forget.

Together they moved down the deep flight of stairs, being very careful to not make a single sound. Merlin was uncomfortably close to Arthur, so close he could smell his breath, his shampoo, deodorant, and the slight smell of musk from his natural body odor. He felt himself become aroused and that just added salt to the wound.

It wasn't just Merlin who was aroused. Arthur could smell a slight hit of wintergreen and vanilla coming from "Freya". It immediately reminded him of Merlin but, thankfully, he didn't connect the two, and Merlin's disguise stayed intact. Arthur's mind still wandered, however. He was thinking about what Merlin would be saying if he was here instead of Mithian. Probably whispering complaints into his ear, or trying to get them to stop for a break. Arthur chuckled in his head, the slightest hint of pain there, and he subconsciously moved closer to "Freya", his mind trying to get more of the scent.

They reached the bottom of the steps to what looked like the door to an elevator with a keypad beside it. Morgana raised her hand and whispered an enchantment, but nothing happened. Merlin nudged her and he held out his hand. White strings entered the keypad and Merlin's eyes rolled into the back of his head; he could feel himself editing the core software, changing it, which was actually easier than trying to guess the code. The strings pulled back and then gently pressed 46683969. Merlin chuckled at the numbers he had used and hoped no one caught on.

"Ready?" Arthur whispered. The team nodded quickly. Arthur pulled his collar up again. "Gwen, we're going in the elevator."

"Roger, keep me posted."

The doors opened and they slowly walked in. There was only one button on the panel and it was red with a white 'x' in it. Morgana lifted the veil as the doors closed and Arthur reluctantly pressed it. Together, they descended into the depths of hell, in hopes of finding the devil, and slaying him.

The elevator dinged as they reached their destination. The doors opened to a large white room. At the end was Mordred, sitting in a chair.

"Well, I was wondering when you would get here."

The team slowly exited the elevator. Arthur pulled his sword out. It extended from a small block into a full claymore in his hands. Morgana pulled a notebook from her back pocket out and held it in front of her, a make shift tome. Mordred stood up from his chair and began to laugh, his shrill voice echoing through the room.

"Mithian... please?" he said.

The team barely had time to react to that statement before Mithian responded.

"Yes, of course," she replied.

She extended her hand and struck Arthur hard on the back of the head, sending him into the floor so hard Merlin could hear his jaw break. His sword clattered to the floor and was folded back up. She turned to Morgana and quickly leapt at her, sending her foot into her stomach and smashing her against the wall, instantly rendering her unconscious. As for Merlin, he tried to jump back, but she simply turned her hand and a green mist shot out from her palm, apparently from a little hole in her skin.

Mordred continued to laugh as Merlin lost consciousness and his disguise faded, revealing his real self. Mordred walked up to their bodies, eying over his prizes, wondering what they would look like naked, cut open, their organs, their souls exposed on his table.

"Mithian, throw them in the cages, please. Make sure to keep the witch in a separate one."

Mithian giggled. "Yes, daddy." She carefully picked all of their bodies up and carried them to the end of the room, through a set of doors, and down a long hallway. There she opened two cells that were about ten feet apart, and place Arthur and Merlin in one, and Morgana in another.

Mordred caught up to her and intently watched Morgana. There was blood trickling from her ear. Mordred licked his lips in anticipation and arousal, he couldn't wait to slice her open first.


	26. Chapter 26: Evisceration

_Morgana. _

Morgana had been an orphan for most of her life, bouncing between the walls of abusive and negligent foster parents and between the cruel and ignorant mockery of every child who had laid eyes on her. She was different, but in a way that you couldn't see. The other children hadn't cared that she wore glasses or was a little tall. They had cared because she had the scent of ash and lilies. They had cared because deep down inside they could feel the darkness that lingered inside her. They had cared because after a long day of teasing and bullying, Morgana would sometimes wake up another person. She would never remember though; the other person would never let her. Morgause was, after all, her guardian, and she would protect Morgana, whether she liked it or not.

It wasn't until Morgana had graduated and was moving on to university that she really found happiness. Gwen. Gwen was the poor and adorable daughter of the local barber, and Morgana was in charge of tutoring her in English and Grammar for a few quid. She needed all the money she could get.

The first time they met, Morgana had found herself dumbstruck. Gwen was this short, dark skinned, slender woman, who looked more like twenty-three instead of sixteen. Morgana had come to terms with her sexuality years ago, back when she had a fling with one of her foster mother's best friends. To say Morgana had enchanted her would be an exaggeration, considering Morgana had no idea she was magical, but there was a little intervention. How else does one get the city's "straight" mayor to offer her tea and crumpets naked? Gwen, however, seemed to need absolutely no enchanting. The dreamy gazes she would give Morgana as they went over omniscience in writing, the way their eyes would catch and hold for a few seconds when they would meet up after a week of not seeing each other., the way that the study dates turned into real dates and the way that—

* * *

><p>Morgana felt a splash of cold water hit her face. Her eyes shot open and she tried to sit up, but she was held back by restraints. The room was foggy at first, but as time lapsed she watched the blurry silver trees turn into beeping machines and then watched as the moving shadow monsters turned into real monsters. Who is that?<p>

_Merlin. Freya. Gwen. Arthur. Basement. Elevator. Captured. Mordred._

_Mordred._

"It's about time you woke up, my beautiful cadaver," Mordred whispered. Morgana, even in her distraught state, could hear the arousal and the pleasure Mordred was getting from having her strapped down. He walked in circles around the metal gurney she was on, studying her, watching her.

Morgana didn't remember much. It was all in pieces. She'd woken to find Mithian, that bitch, carrying her off. Morgana remembered that, for some reason, her magic didn't work. She remembered that when she had tried to struggle, Mithian had snapped her right leg in two. She couldn't remember anything after—

Morgana's thoughts ended when she saw the state of her torso. At first she didn't recognize it, but biology class quickly flooded her mind, as did the memories of her class mates, her subconscious trying to distract her from the horrors below. Morgana could make out her stomach, her _real _stomach; she could make out what was her intestines—there were metal clamps and gauze placed randomly inside her, but she couldn't feel it.

"Are you ready to tell me how to access the Fade?" Mordred asked. He twirled a scalpel in his hands.

"I don't... know what... the Fade is." Morgana replied. Her voice was weak. Each breath shifted her lose organs around, the movement causing them to slide abrasively around the metal toys Mordred had placed in her body. She glared at him through dense eyes as he laughed at her and he walked around the table again.

"Sad, but happy. Sad, sad, sad. But happy. Yes?" Mordred asked. He didn't wait for a reply. "Sad is you and happy is me because you are special. Special. Special." Mordred began to sing his words. "Special is you. Special is me. I'm going to love you, wait and see!" Mordred was standing next to her now, his voice was deafening and his words corrosive on her mind. She did her best not to panic, but the thought of never seeing Gwen again, never living again, never being _home, _they consumed her. She felt tears roll down her face.

Mordred licked his lips and leaned in, close to her cheek. He stuck his tongue out, catching the tear, and drew a line of saliva from the rosy reds of her face to the pale straight of her neck, down her naked chest, doing his best to leave his tongue on her nipple just long enough to make her shiver in disgust. There was no skin below her breasts; wherever it was, Morgana had no idea. She could barely contemplate how she was alive; let alone where her missing organs were. Mordred's tongue began to shake in pleasure as he ran his tongue over her ribs, looking Morgana dead in the eye, pupils dilated with arousal, mouth twisted into a thick smile as he moved farther and farther down, down past her stomach, past her intestines, down to where only Gwen was allowed to be. She looked at her arm to notice her bracelet was still intact. If only she could find away to remove it, maybe... just maybe Morgause could help.

A wet tongue and the feeling of teeth sinking into sensitive flesh brought Morgana back from her plans. She felt herself cringe and she screamed as she felt herself become ripped, as Mordred sank his teeth where they shouldn't be, as she felt her skin tear and Mordred's teeth ignore bone.

He left a few muffled moans as he licked and bit at her. The room started to spin and she felt nauseous, nauseous and scared.

Morgana felt herself falling again.

* * *

><p>It had been a few months since Morgana had started tutoring Gwen. Morgana was impressed at how quickly Gwen could catch on to university level topics. Morgana herself had been a prodigy in language, fluent in everything from Latin to Spanish to French to German, and being able to write effortlessly and swap between them made her the perfect candidate to help Gwen. Little did she know that she was also the perfect candidate for her romantically, too.<p>

They were spending time in Gwen's house, right above the barber shop in which her father worked. Morgana wasn't scheduled for today, but when Gwen called and told her she had an important exam in the next day, Morgana was quick to help.

"So, love in French is?" Morgana asked.

"_Amour,_" Gwen answered automatically.

"Life?"

"_Vie_?"

"Yup. What about—" Morgana began.

"I have one for you," Gwen interrupted. Her face changed from a confidant visage to a more bashful one. She looked down at her feet and adjusted her posture in her chair.

"_P__uis-je t'embrasser_?" Gwen asked.

Morgana blushed, and vibrantly at that. A million thoughts ran through her head, shuffling back to her midnight fantasies about making out with Gwen, touching her, taking her out. By no means was she in love, but something about this black haired dark skinned wonder made her shiver in her seat. "_Can I kiss you?" _The answer should be no. No, that it's not right, that she was her tutor and it would be abusing her power, that it would be abusing their relationship. But the way that Gwen caught her eye, the longing looks she would give, she knew that it wasn't wrong at all. It was perfect.

"Y-Yes," Morgana whispered. She scooted closer to Gwen, the distance between them close, too close to be formal anymore. "Yes you can."

* * *

><p>Morgana woke up again. The room was dark now, not bright and lit like the last time. She looked down to her stomach and saw that all of it was healed. There was major bruising, but if you had looked at it you would have never known that it was once eviscerated. Morgana struggled in her straps, trying to get free, but to no avail. The lights abruptly turned on, blinding her for a few seconds. She looked around and saw him. Again.<p>

"Good morning, _Sunshine," _Mordred mocked. His words were acidic against her ears. "Sleep well?"

Morgana turned away, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing her afraid. He slowly walked up to her, his bare feet making quiet slaps against the tile on the floor. Louder and louder they became until she could feel his body heat.

"Do you know why you're still alive? Morgana?" Mordred asked.

Morgana said nothing. She could feel his hands on the back of her head, touching something hard that was attached to her skull.

"This machine here, I built it. You see, it saps life energy from the air and surrounding creatures, and pumps it through this tube as stem energy. It prolongs any life, even if it should be dead." Mordred walked in front of her. He reached his hand out and clutched her jaw. His grip was fast and firm, holding her still as he looked into her eyes. "You see, milady, I can keep you here and do what I did, for as long as I want. You will _never _die." Mordred retracted his hand and shrugged his shoulders. "Of course, you could just tell me how to get into the Fade, and I'll kill you now, save you the pain that I have in store."

"I told you before," Morgana stated, "I don't know what you're talking-"

"You're _a fucking liar_!" Mordred screamed. He leaped up onto the gurney and threw his fist as hard as he could into her face. Morgana felt a tooth lodge itself in the back of her throat. "You're a fucking whore and a liar! Do you UNDERSTAND? YOU KNOW—" Mordred stopped and took a deep breath. His eyelids fluttered and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. "You know, you _know, _and if I have to cut every piece out of you to find the answer... I will." Mordred leaped off the gurney and picked up a bone saw from one of the tables around Morgana.

"I will find out the truth," Mordred whispered. He flipped the switch on his toy and watched Morgana's eyes widen with fear. Oh how he loved to cut.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Meanwhile... <strong>_

Arthur's eyes gently opened, his head resting against something soft beneath him. He could hear a muffled voice calling out his name. The scent of wintergreen and vanilla filled his nose and he looked up to see Merlin.

"Arthur? Arthur?"

Arthur blinked a few times and, all of a sudden, there was Freya. Her long brown hair was dangling in his face. His head hurt, his body hurt, his jaw hurt, and he couldn't remember much. Freya grabbed Arthur's hand and pulled him up gently. Mordred had set up some kind of anti-magic barrier, but Merlin had been at least able to heal Arthur's jaw before he'd put it into effect. Arthur sat on the floor, staring out of the black bars that held them in. Merlin watched him through Freya's eyes, wishing he could be _there_ to comfort him.

Morgana screamed in the distance. Arthur flinched and looked up at Freya, but she already knew what he was asking.

"She's been... screaming all morning," Freya answered.

Hours lapsed, and the screaming stopped. Arthur continued to sit on the floor, starting out of the bars. Freya shook in surprise when Arthur spoke for the first time.

"You know, this isn't... isn't the first time this has happened – happened to me," Arthur gently whispered. He hung his head and brought his knees up to his chest. Freya looked at him confused. "Before... _her_... There was a boy."

Freya winced at his wording, but continued to say nothing.

"I met him a long time ago. He was the step-son of the man whose home we infiltrated today." Arthur's eyes became distant. "A-And I fell in love with him. But then he... he went away, and then I found Mithian and—but… but now she and... I just... I just _can't _anymore."

"Arthur..." Freya started, but she was interrupted as Arthur leaped up and wrapped his arms around her.

"I can't do this anymore. _I can't_." Arthur cried into her shoulder. "H-How many times do I have to be _hurt _before I can be... I just... He was _perfect _and I _loved _him and Mithian was just some stupid consolation prize but now—she was a-and—I… I was a fool. So stupid." Arthur let go and began to pace in the small cell. The veins in his head were bulging and he was shaking.

"Arthur..." Freya started to say again. "Arthur... what if… what if I told you Merlin wasn't dead."

Arthur stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Freya—

It wasn't Freya anymore. Light shone from the crack in her forehead and it split down her body, fading and folding away until only a boy was left, a beautiful raven haired boy.

Merlin couldn't meet his eyes; he couldn't look into those blue oceans without feeling the deepest pit of guilt and remorse.

"M-Merlin?"


	27. Chapter 27: Liberation

"M-Merlin?"

Arthur's eyes had to be deceiving him. He'd been hit too hard, or he was still dreaming—something, _anything_ to save him from the beautiful misery that stood before him. Arthur's gaze shifted from Merlin to the wall of the cell, unmoving. His mind flashed back to Mithian and their life together. Arthur had been ready to give up every thought, every piece of him, every spec of Merlin, had been ready to cast it all into the wind just so he could move on with his life.

"Arthur. Please say something," Merlin pleaded. Arthur could feel his eyes shake and shiver as his mind tried to process the scenario, but it seemed, in a last ditch effort to maintain his sanity, his mind shifted to his regrets.

Arthur remembered the first time he told Gwen he was getting married to Mithian. It was only short while after Merlin had died and she, Morgana and himself had decided to have a lunch date together. He had expected them to be happy for him, but instead they'd bombarded him with accusations and their "two cents", telling him that he wasn't ready, it was too soon, _you're not over Merlin._

He had fought to keep that thought untrue, going through with the marriage, letting her move in, letting her fuck him. But through all the days and all the sex and all the nights and all the fights, one thing remained true: Not a day went by that he didn't think of Merlin.

Merlin's skin, his texture, his taste, his love—it never left Arthur, not even for a second. Even now, Arthur had Merlin's ring in his pocket, where he kept it. Since his training it had grown too small to wear, but he couldn't bear to part with it.

Doubt and betrayal began to fill Arthur's mind. If Merlin had been alive all this time, why had he not made contact, why did he wait until the party? He wasn't even himself; he didn't even _tell _Arthur. Arthur had to pry it from him.

"Why-Why didn't you say anything? At the party? Were you planning on keeping it a secr—wait. No." Arthur shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't meet Merlin's eyes. Truth flashed over Arthur's mind, leaving a raw destruction in its wake. "You were never going to tell me... were you." Arthur's eyes became glazed with rage. They shot up to meet Merlin's, who only gave him a shameful gaze back.

"Y-you... were happy. I didn't want—I didn't want to hurt you," Merlin whispered into the air, but his words were empty and damp like the cold cell they were in. They trickled into Arthur's ears, their cold touch rapidly twisting anger inside of him. _Hurt him. _What the _fuck _did he think he was doing by staying dead? Arthur wondered. The thought corroded his mind, left him even more bitter and angry.

"Who were you to make that decision?" Arthur yelled. His face was red now, his body was shaking. His hands were twisted into fists, knuckles white.

"Who? Who was I?" Merlin yelled back. He took a few steps towards Arthur. "Do you know what I _was supposed _to do? I was _supposed_ find a way to _kill _that son of a bitch Mordred before he kills anymore people. The _entire fucking point _was to keep _you _safe. Do you understand what I've _sacrificed? _My family, my friends, you, everything that made me human, it's all gone because I have to save the fucking world and _you're _lecturing me about why I didn't lead you to your death?"

"And why did I have no say, Merlin?" Arthur screamed back, his voice cracking as he said Merlin's name. "I would just – the pain of your death. It never got better. It _never _got better. I _couldn't _get over you. No matter how hard I – just… God dammit, Merlin. Just—"

Arthur stomped his foot and began to pace around the room. Merlin sat on the small bed on his side of the cell and placed his head in his hands. He was exhausted and out of breath. His magic was boiling but constrained due to Mordred's anti-magic zone. Merlin ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

"You're _all _that kept me going, Arthur. The thought of you—" Merlin choked on his words. His face was calm but his voice shook. "The thought of you with that _woman, _was all I had to do this. And it wasn't like I had a fucking perfect life to come back to, do you know what it's like to have to wait a _year _to come back to your lover to find he's _already married? _Sod off."

A few minutes of silence passed as Merlin and Arthur desperately tried to calm down. The lack of food, of sleep, it was getting to them and they knew it.

"I had to give up myself as well, you know." Arthur stated after a few minutes, finally calming down. "I-I gave up my mum and my dad, friends, Mithian she – she was my only escape, and even then, I couldn't – we weren't – I wasn't." Arthur stumbled through his words and the more he thought about how lonely he had been with Mithian the more he thought about how much he needed Merlin, how much he loved Merlin, how nothing was right without _Merlin. _Arthur was facing the wall, doing his best not to show his discomfort, the pain he had tried too hard to keep hidden.

Merlin stood up, the sound of the springs of the bed echoed in the cell.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked, his voice hollow and dry.

Arthur was still turned away from him but Merlin couldn't sense any anger from him.

"I'm sorry – for – for everything." Merlin let out a small choked sob.

Before Arthur or Merlin could react, Arthur's feet were moving him, and soon he collided with Merlin's thin body, wrapping his arms around him. Arthur buried his face in Merlin's hair, right above his ear. His grip was tight but loving, something Merlin had missed, something that no one, not even Will, could emulate.

"Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin..." Arthur whispered. He forced himself to remain calm, he needed to be here for Merlin. Arthur's breath was soft and warm on Merlin's neck and he pulled Merlin into him tighter, "Merlin, Merlin please, I'm just – sorry too... okay?"

Merlin nodded into Arthur's shoulder and lifted his hand to stroke Arthur's hair, burying his face in the crook of Arthur's neck. A hint of his musk and cologne nuzzled its way into Merlin's nose, and he embraced the memories that he collided with. All of a sudden the argument, the fighting, the anger and the bitterness, it was swept away into some alternate dimension, the only thing left in the room was a sense of unnerving love and a hint of arousal.

_Will. _

Merlin pulled himself back from Arthur, who reluctantly let go. Arthur was smiling but Merlin's face was showing a series of darker and confused looks. He couldn't match Arthur's eyes. The memories of Will, the times they shared. Will wasn't a consolation prize.

"There is... something I need to tell you," Merlin stated. He crossed his arms over his chest and hung his head. "I've started dating someone else – sorta like you and Mithian."

Arthur's hand dropped to his sides and he let out a relieved sigh.

"It's alright, Merlin," Arthur cooed. "You can just tell him when we get out of here and everything will be—" Arthur stopped talking once he realized that Merlin was actually pulling father back. His body language was cold and closed. Arthur could read Merlin like a book, he could tell instantly that Merlin didn't want to go through with this plan, but that didn't make sense. They were in love, weren't they?

"_Merlin, _you are going to-to leave him for me, right?" Arthur asked, his voice shaking. He took a few steps towards Merlin and rested his hand on his shoulder. "Merlin?"

Merlin said nothing. He remained still as stone only a few inches from the wall of the cell. Arthur's hands became fists. He wasn't going to lose Merlin again.

Arthur placed his hand under Merlin's face and pulled his chin up, forcing Merlin to meet his gaze. Arthur leaned in gently, and before Merlin could object, their lips we're connected, Arthur's moving around his own, his hands circling his body. Arthur's breaths we're quick and hot against Merlin's face.

"Please, Arthur..." Merlin said between kisses. "I… I…"

This only made Arthur kiss harder and faster. Arthur's arms were firm and he pulled Merlin closer, their chests so tight Merlin could barely breathe. This was all Merlin had ever wanted, to be reunited again.

_Will._

"Arthur – please. I need to –"

Arthur's hands dropping to Merlin's waist, his fingers dipping below the rim of his suit. Merlin tried to pull away but Arthur was always stronger; Arthur's hands unfastened the top button of Merlin's pants and his hand dipped in-

"Just STOP!" Merlin screamed.

Arthur recoiled back as if someone had hit him. Merlin's face was bright red, his eyes rimmed with tears and shame. Arthur tried to take a few steps towards him but Merlin pulled back.

"I-I can't, Arthur, I can't do that to him." Merlin confessed. His breath hitched on the back of his throat. He did his best to hold back his tears, he couldn't betray Will, they had been together for a while now, hell, they were living together. Merlin couldn't just throw that away. _Will wasn't a consolation prize._

"What do you – Merlin, you love me!" Arthur yelled. His bottom lip began to quiver as his mind tried to wrap itself around his next thought. "D-Don't you?"

"I can't do that to him," Merlin repeated, his voice was cold this time; thick and cold.

_To him. To him. To him. To him. To him._

Arthur took a few staggered steps backwards and let his back hit the wall. He let his knees give way and his body slid to the ground. He never took his eyes off of Merlin.

* * *

><p>"Flowers? For me?" Arthur asked.<p>

Arthur had been sitting at the top of one of the wing towers of his castle. Up there is where he did his best thinking. He could see across all of Camelot and its surrounding areas, far over the forests, far into the distance.

Merlin, of course, spent most of his time up here with him. Together they would talk about their future, the roles they would play in Camelot's rise to power. Today, however, was different.

Arthur took the flowers from Merlin's hand and inhaled them deeply. Their scents were strong, as if magically amplified, but Arthur didn't need to ask, he knew that Merlin had probably just grown them.

"What are these for, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"Really?" Merlin asked astonished. "You know, _sire-"_

"Arthur," Arthur corrected.

"It's not nice to forget you and your lover's anniversary."

Arthur placed one of his hands on his head. "Oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry. I've just been wrapped up in, you know this deal for land that one of the surrounding kingdoms wants to offer and I totally spaced out."

Arthur took a few steps towards Merlin and rested his forehead against his. Arthur pulled Merlin in close.

"Forgive me, my love?" Arthur asked, tenderly, a gentile smile blooming across his face.

Merlin rolled his eyes and smiled back. "You're such a clotpole, you know that? You think you can just look at me... like... that, and I'm just supposed to forgive you, yes?"

Arthur leaned in closer and gently took Merlin's bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Yes, yes you are," Arthur playfully growled. He brought their faces closer and took Merlin's mouth into his own.

Merlin laughed through the kiss and nodded, giving up and succumbing to Arthur. _His _Arthur.

* * *

><p>"Let her go, Mordred."<p>

Mordred turned from the table he was at. His eyes were wide with shock. Gwen could see Morgana behind him. She pulled out both of her Sais and held them in front of her in a defensive stance. Morgana was unmoving, but the machines next to her beeped with her heart, letting Gwen know she was alive.

"You're too late. I was able to extract all the information I needed a week ago, but I figured I'd toy with her, you know, push her to her limits." Mordred cackled. He did a back flip into the table that Morgana was on and landed on her stomach. "She stopped responding to stimuli almost two days ago. Poor girl, she just couldn't... take... the _pain. _Weak weak weak this one is."

"Morgause!" Gwen yelled, she was panting in a panic. Morgause was her only way out. "I know you don't – _Morgause_, we need to help Morgana." Gwen threw her Sais at Mordred and pulled out a small device from her back. Mordred jumped back and easily dodged the projectile, laughing as he came down and softly landed on the tiled floor.

"You missed." Mordred laughed.

"No, I really didn't," Gwen replied. Mordred noticed that Morgana's bracelet had been sliced apart. Gwen pressed the red button on her device. There was a loud explosion and the ground rumbled beneath them.

She had managed to sneak into the basement when the mansion had cleared out, remembering the code Merlin had put in (spy contacts were the best weren't they?) She'd been easily able to sneak into the bottom floor, where Mordred was.

The antenna was easy to locate considering it was the only thing there that was humming and emitting eerie purple light. Gwen knew enough in anti-magic technology to recognize when something was emitting a blocking signal, an amplified wave of magic that distorted other magic around it. In this case, everyone's magic except for Mordred's.

But that wasn't the case anymore.

Morgana's eyes opened. Mordred jumped back in surprise. Her head twisted on the gurney, her body beginning to break and twist as her bones shifted, leaving the straps holding her down useless. She easily twisted out of them and then stood up on all fours on the table, the wires and tubes attached to her fell to the floor, ejected from her body through magic. Her head slowly twisted until it was upside down, her neck clearly broken, eyes pure white, no pupil, no iris.

"Mommy wants to play!" she screamed.

"What was that?" Merlin asked. Arthur didn't reply.

A green portal opened behind them. Nimueh was standing on the other side.

"Let's go, we need to get you out of there!" Nimueh yelled through the portal.

"But what about Morgana?" Merlin asked.

"We'll get her then," Nimueh replied. "Now come, we don't have much time. Even with that device disabled I can't keep this portal open long!"

Merlin extended his hand out to Arthur, who was unmoving on the floor.

"Arthur... I can't do this without you," Merlin pleaded.

Arthur looked up at him, his eyes hollow. He stood up, not taking Merlin's hand, and stepped into the portal. Merlin followed.

Gwen stood back as she watched Mordred and Morgause face off. Their blows were quick and accurate, yet neither could land a hit on the other. They flew around the room at lightning fast speeds, evenly matched. Gwen tried her best to make out who was winning but she couldn't tell; she just knew that neither had landed a blow yet.

"I'm going to_ skin you_ for what you did to my sister!" Morgause screamed. Her hands were bright with magic, throwing fast and quick shots at Mordred, who, unfortunately, was fast enough to avoid each and every one of them.

Mordred grew tired of fighting someone so annoying. He had other matters to attend to, and this bitch had come in and ruined them all. Well, he was going to show her, he was! Mordred quickly ran over to his computer and typed in a few words before dodging another one of Morgause's quick magical blows.

Gwen watched in horror as the tubes around the room began to open. Out of them came creatures, disgusting creatures. Some were part human, some were part animal, but all of them, each and every one of them was part machine. The metal and wires sticking out from their twisted sinful flesh. The smell, the smell was what got to Gwen, the smell of feces and rotting flesh mixed with the raw odor of iron and aluminum.

"I'll take care of these guys!" Gwen yelled. "You take care of him!" Morgause nodded quickly in agreement and kept on her unrelenting assault on the boy.

Gwen leaped at the nearest creature. She was disgusted at how broken it was; part man, part horse, part machine, a centaur of sorts. Gwen landed on its back before it could draw its weapon, a metal sword on its waist, and dropped both of her Sias into its head. Gwen tore her blades through its skull, forcing it onto its knees. Gwen pulled her blades out and twirled them at the ground, blood spattering onto the floor.

_Easy enough, _Gwen thought.

_"Oh no you don't!"_ Mordred leaped off a wall and zoomed straight for Gwen's neck, her pulsing vein looked so—

Morgause was faster than him, and with a swift foot to his stomach sent him flying into a nearby wall. Gwen looked up at Morgause and could see a faint glimmer of affection before she took off after Mordred.

Gwen set her eyes on another creature. This one had a large broadsword. Its flesh was so twisted that Gwen couldn't tell what it was, only that she needed to release it from Mordred's control. Gwen leaped at the creature.

Gwen's scream was what broke Morgause's concentration. Morgause had turned to see Gwen pinned a wall by an arrow, taking off guard by one of the creatures from the other side of the room. Morgause screamed as she quickly leaped to save Gwen, her magic bubbling as remnants of Morgana began to shine through. Her hands began to spark with electricity as she quickly cleaved arcs of lighting into the bodies of all the abominations in her sight.

"Morgause!"

Gwen had tried to warn her but her non-magical eyes were too slow, and her lips couldn't say the words fast enough. Morgana stood in the center of the room, standing tall, but with one fatal error; Mordred's teeth deep in her neck.

Gwen reached out to her, screaming. She pulled herself off the arrow; it had gone clean through her right shoulder but luckily missed any vital arteries. Gwen watched in horror as Mordred continued to gnaw at her neck, tears rolling down Gwen's face. Mordred's bite was lethal to anyone who had every expirenced it, there were countless cases of Knight's that had been spit on by the boy, and the toxins in his saliva had caused severe neurological problems, and in the end, death.

"Heh heh heh."  
>"Heh heh heh heh heh."<br>"Mommy has... a... surprise."

A black gas began to flow from the area where Mordred's teeth were inserted. He quickly pulled off, but the black gas continued to flow into his mouth, into his nose, into his ears, into his eyes. Mordred began to scream and cough, and Morgause fell to the ground, her strength giving out.

Gwen ran to her, the lights and the machines in the room began to slowly power down in conjunction with Mordred's dying magic. Gwen sank down to Morgause's body and pulled her to her chest.

"Gwen."

Gwen looked down in shock. Morgana was back, but Gwen could feel the life leaving her. Her neck was horribly torn open, and blood was spilling out onto the floor. Gwen tried to place her hand on the neck to stop the bleeding but there was too much blood.

"Gwen!" Morgana repeated.

"Shh, shh," Gwen whispered. "Don't you try to talk."

Morgana reached her hand up and stroked a curl of hair behind Gwen's ear.

"It's alright, Gwen. It's—"

Morgana's eyes fluttered close. Her body fell limp, her hand sliding down Gwen's face, awkwardly resting on her chest. Gwen's eyes filled with tears and they spilled down her cheeks, mixing with the blood that was on her face.

"Ha... ha... haha..." Mordred coughed. His white skin was tinted dark by purple veins that were carrying the poison through his body. Mordred pulled out his phone. He pressed his thumb against the screen.

Gwen got up, her clothes stained in her lover's blood. She walked over to Mordred and stomped on his hand that held the phone. He screamed as she ground his hand into the ground, she could feel his bones breaking, his knuckles separating. She lifted the Sais in her right hand.

Never once had she wanted anything more.

"This... this is for Lance." Gwen plummeted into Mordred's back, pinning him to the ground. His screams were music to her ears. Mordred wiggled and contorted under the blade, bu the more he moved, the more he bled. Gwen had pinned him down right in his liver, a place where even if he did manage to break free, the blood loss would kill him. Gwen stood above him, her pupils pinpricks, his body shaking with anger, hate, and vengeance. Gwen lifted her other Sais high above her head, her body quivering with anticipation, the rush of adrenaline filling every nook and cranny of her being.

Never once had she _ever _wanted anything more.

"And this?" Gwen whispered, her mouth dry. She looked down at the broken boy who was glaring up at her with hateful bloodshot eyes. "This is for Morgana!" Gwen stuck her other Sais into his head, twisting and grinding it to make sure she killed every brain cell. She wanted every part of him gone from this world. Mordred's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and the power went out to the entire room.

Gwen blindly made her way back to Morgana's body. She knelt down beside it. She picked up the lifeless corpse of her lover, and reached into her pack to pull out her teleportation crystal It was over, it was finally—

"_Code: Black, Code: Black. Activating system lock down and self-destruct sequence."_

Gwen looked up in horror as the large screen on one of the walls began to count down from thirty. Gwen quickly got up and tried to pick up Morgana's body, but she was too heavy. The room was filled with a familiar hum, the hum of an anti-magic zone. It wasn't as powerful as the last one, probably a last ditch effort to keep the monsters from leaving, but nevertheless:

_30, 29, 28_

The crystals she had brought with her. Useless.

Outside help. Useless.

Chance of escape. Zero.

"Damn it! No!" Gwen screamed, but she knew she had to. She ran out of the room and towards the elevator. The doors were beginning to close.

_25, 24, 23_

"No, no, no, no. No. NO _please! Wait!" _Gwen yelled.

She had managed to slip an arm in, but that was a mistake. The elevator doors did not stop trying to close. A bloodcurdling scream left Gwen's lips as the door's completely closed on her elbow, severing it. Gwen could hear the splat as her forearm landed on the other side of the elevator, which was now moving up to the ground floor.

_19, 18, 17_

Gwen twisted on the floor. Her vision was going; she felt her blood pressure plummet as blood poured profusely out of her arm.

_This... this can't be it? _Gwen thought. _This can't be._

An odd sound made its presence from behind her. Gwen saw a green portal; inside it was Merlin. His arm was extended, reaching for her.

"_Get up_!"

Gwen saw Morgana beside her. She was bright, glowing. Beautiful. She extended her arm and Gwen grabbed it, slowly standing on her feet. Her will was coming back to her. She wasn't going to die here today. She wasn't going to die. Morgana placed an arm on her back, giving her a gentle push towards Merlin, towards safety, towards salvation.

_13, 12, 11_

Gwen slowly began to work her way towards the portal. It was quite a distance from her, but she had time. It was only a few more yards. Gwen's mind began to drift off. She thought about how she even got into this mess. The watched as the room began to shake, as it filled with red as the warning light flashed on the large screen on the wall. Bright LED numbers continued to countdown to the destruction of this wicked dungeon.

"Hurry!" Merlin yelled, extending his hand farther. "We don't have much time!"

She thought about Lance.

"Hurry!" Morgana yelled. "You don't have much time!"

She thought about Morgana.

_7, 6, 5_

Gwen was just feet from the portal. It felt so good to be able to be safe again, the feeling of friendship, of home on the other side. Gwen vowed that she would make Richard pay; she knew that he was in charge of all of this, even if she couldn't prove it. She had so much to tell Merlin, so much to tell Arthur; she staggered forward, blood dripping from her bloody stub. God, Gwen needed a drink, something strong, something to get rid of the pain in her arm.

Gwen saw Morgana beside her, her ghost-like hands were guiding her, keeping her steady, moving her closer to the portal. Even in death, Morgana was still taking care of her, still loving her, still keeping her going. Gwen needed to live, she needed to avenge Morgana's death, Lance's death, anyone who had lost a life to this disgusting cause, they needed to be avenged.

_4, 3, 2_

Gwen grabbed Merlin's hand and he pulled her forward with all his strength and Gwen swore she could feel Morgana's hands on her back, trying to coax her into the portal.

_I'm safe.. _

A large roar of fire filled the air, the heat burning the hairs on Merlin's arm.

Nimueh cut the portal.

No one said a word. The air was filled with breathless pants.

No one remarked about the timing of the portal. Nimueh closed her eyes.

No one criticized how long it took Gwen to reach it. Arthur turned away.

And no one said anything about the fact that Merlin was just holding an arm, the person who was to be attached left behind on the other side.

* * *

><p>Richard could feel the magical wavelengths of his new "friends" joining him in The Fade. Mordred had given him the key he needed to enter this wonderful place. So full of power, so full of life, it made him sick. He reached down beside him and pet his loyal and lovely partner, Hunith. Richard extended his gauntlet and connected with her mind.<p>

"Find your son, Hunith. Find him and Arthur. Kill them, at all costs. They cannot interfere with out plans."

Hunith could only bow her heads in response. She started to sprint and leaped out the open window, wings expanding from her body, she flew into the moonlit sky.

"Perfect." Richard spoke to himself. "Perfect."


	28. Chapter 28: Redirecting

Merlin could feel the life in the hand he held. Gwen's fingers twitched and her muscles tweaked around his own, causing a wave of false hope to flood Merlin's mind.

_Gwen isn't dead, she's moving. She's moving, in my hand. I can feel her, I can –_

"Merlin! Please! We don't have much time!"

Nimueh's voice broke Merlin out of his shock. She was standing above him, a cloak covering her head and part of her face, with her arm extended. Arthur was beside her, looking at Merlin through hollowed eyes. Merlin's gaze ventured down to the limb that he held so dearly in his hand, tracing down, his eyes ran over the unique ridges, the creases in her knuckles, the narrow strait of her forearm, but then it… stops.

It stops and forms a crimson tear, as jagged and ripped as it is sorrowful and tragic. Merlin couldn't pull his eyes from it. He could feel the heat on his arm, matching the scorch marks that lined Gwen's torn arm. The bitter reminder that the other side wasn't so kind to the flesh that remained. His mind filled with images. Did she hurt? Did she scream?

But most importantly, is she happy now... with Morgana? Happy with her, like he knew he couldn't be with Will?

"_Merlin!_" Nimueh yelled again.

Merlin's stare jumped from the arm to Nimueh, who was looking at him with pleading eyes. Her face was broken, just as Merlin's was. He reached out his hand and took hers, letting go of Gwen, and he stood up and together they ran out of the dark room.

The outside was different than it had been before. The sky was no longer vivid and the colors were no longer intense. It was as if the life had been sucked dry from the world. The buildings we're gray and the lights dim, barely able to cast shadows in the dark moonlight. Merlin, Arthur, and Nimueh quietly walked down the empty streets, none of them speaking, not until they reached a small house.

Nimueh rhythmically rapped on the wooden door. There was the sound of swift footsteps that fell short of the door. Nimueh looked around and made sure that no one was looking.

"Who is the king of the ones who are white?" asked a voice from within the house.

Nimueh cleared her throat before responding, "Dragoon, the Unseeing."

Merlin flinched at that name. The door unlocked. He had felt something along time ago, something when he fought Mordred for the first time. _Dragoon. _Was Nimueh referring to him? A man in black quickly pulled the door open and rushed them all in side. He looked around swiftly before closing the door and relocking it.

"It's good to have you back, sister," he said tenderly.

"It's good to be back, brother." Nimueh smiled back. The man looked to Merlin and Arthur.

"Is this... is this him? The Unseeing?" the man asked. Nimueh nodded and the man took a few steps towards Merlin. "It is an honor to be in your presence my lord, I am Alvarr." He extended his hand in greeting.

"It's a... a pleasure, sir," Merlin awkwardly responded, taking his hand and shaking it. Merlin looked around the inside of the house, it was dark, even with all the lights on, the color was pulled from the wallpaper, it was as if all the happiness and joy had been pulled from the world.

"Nimueh, what's going on? What's happened?" Merlin asked. He was up to his neck in confusion, and he needed answers.

"Come with me."

* * *

><p>Arthur stuffed his belongings into his bags. The hunting trip should be quick and easy, so he packed light and on his own He didn't need Merlin to do <em>everything <em>for him. The autumn air filled his nose and blew all thoughts of being king from his mind. Tonight, he was going to hunt with his Royal Knights and, of course, Merlin.

Merlin came wobbling behind, just like he always did. He had his little medicinal pouch filled with little things Gaius has given him, just simple things like bandage wrap, gauze, alcohol, wolf's bane, and other antidotes for simple woodland poisons. Merlin approached his horse with frailty and utter clumsiness. Before he even mounted his horse, he'd fallen off and dropped his supplies all over the ground.

"Are you serious, Merlin? Can you really not even mount a horse without almost dying? I swear…" Arthur joked while chuckling.

"Not all of us can be as _skilled _as you, sire," Merlin mockingly retorted as he continued to try to mount the horse. Each attempt getting closer and closer to making it up, but not entirely.

"For heaven's sake, _Mer_lin," Arthur scoffed. He dismounted his horse and walked over to Merlin, placing his hands together at placing them at his waist.

Merlin looked confused, Arthur was going to help him mount his horse… shouldn't it be the other way around? Merlin didn't argue and placed his foot in Arthur's hands. With a quick jump, Arthur pushed him up, and then causally placed his hand on Merlin's arse to give him better leverage and help him on the horse. Merlin could have sworn Arthur left his hand there for a few seconds too long but, again, he didn't argue.

–o–

A few hours had passed. Arthur and Merlin approached the section of woods where boar and deer were common and began to set up camp. Arthur couldn't keep his eyes off of Merlin, as per usual. Something about that milky white skin, those ears, that hair, Arthur could feel his blood pressure rise, his heart race, things he wanted to do, to feel-

"Sire, did you hear that?" Lancelot asked.

Arthur listened carefully, gentle crackling filled the woods and it sounded like a large amount of people were approaching.

"Bandits," Arthur said harshly under his breath. "Quick men, we must make haste, by the sounds there are many of them and we don't have much time to escape."

Quickly Arthur and the knights mounted their horses; of course Merlin had a lot of trouble getting on his.

"Everyone, this hunting trip is over, try to get back to the castle, we will meet there in four hours, if you are not back we will send a search party so stay calm, quick split up and make your tracks prominent, we need them to split up with us."

Arthur took notice to Merlin's inability to get on his horse. _Damn it._

"Seriously Merlin we don't have time for this!" Arthur yelled, he extended his hand and pulled Merlin up onto his horse, and together they all galloped off in different directions.

Merlin held on to Arthur tightly, his hands wrapped around Arthur's waist. The wind in his hair and being so close to Arthur the thrill of being chased and just barely making their escape.

He loved every second of it.

* * *

><p>"It's Richard. He's here."<p>

Merlin and Arthur's eyes both opened in wide in shock. They were in the kitchen room of Nimueh's house.

"We... we were wrong, Merlin," Nimueh confessed. Her eyes dropped to the table she was leaning against. "It wasn't Mordred calling the shots, it was Richard."

Arthur and Merlin exchanged terrified glances.

"He arrived the other day. It was... chaos, destruction." Nimueh closed her eyes as she took herself back to that horrifying day. "The second he laid foot here, the world became dark. His touch was like cancer, growing and twisting its host until it either killed them, or left them comatose. The longer he stayed, the darker the world became, he began to suck and bleed the magic of this land dry, saying he 'was going to bring a new world order'." Nimueh shook her head. "All creatures here are dependent on magic to survive, but Richard steals all of it, over half of the community is either dead or dying."

"I'm so sorry," Merlin said. He couldn't think of anything else to say. He knew it sounded dumb and forced, but what was he supposed to do.

"It's not over it, yesterday – yesterday was the day that hope arrived. A dragon named Kilgharrah."

"Kilgharrah was here?" Merlin asked.

"Yes, you know him?"

Merlin shook his head. "We met once; I freed him from a mountain."

"Well, it's good you did." Nimueh reached across the table and grabbed Merlin's hand. "Richard was about to finish this place, destroy it and suck it dry and move on, when he came. A large fiery portal in the sky. He swooped in and somehow, with one breath, was able to push Richard back into the chapel in the middle of town. He was able to do in one breath what the strongest witches and warlocks here couldn't. It was... amazing. But it came with a price."

Merlin let out a small gasp and Arthur instinctively grabbed his hand, holding it tight.

"Richard was able to hit him, hard," Nimueh whispered. Her voice was weak. "He landed in the Dragon Lands to the east, he holds the key, Merlin, he knows how to hurt Richard, something none of us can do."

"Wait." Merlin cocked his head at Nimueh. "Are you saying you want me to go find him?"

Nimueh nodded. "I sent Will after him this morning but he has not sent word back." Arthur's hand twitched around Merlin's and that's when Merlin realized he was holding his hand. He looked at Arthur lovingly before slowly letting go. Arthur's heart sank and he dropped his hand to his side. Merlin turned back to Nimueh.

"Is he also a Dragonlord?" Merlin asked.

"No, but in The Fade, all beings speak the same tongue," Nimueh replied. She pursed her lips.

"Alright," Merlin said firmly. If this is what was needed to defeat the wicked man who had lured him and his mother into his evil grasp, then he would do it. He would find Kilgharrah again.

"I'm going with you," Arthur stated.

"No, Arthur it's –"

"Merlin. Haven't we talked about this?" Arthur was calm but stern. He lifted his hand and brushed a lock of hair behind Merlin's ear. This was the first time Arthur had spoken to him since Merlin had confessed his affection for Will. Merlin was surprised at how tender his voice was - it was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with Arthur in the first place.

"It's my decision," he reaffirmed.

"Ugh – Alright." Merlin gave in. "We leave at dawn."

* * *

><p>Arthur tossed and turned in his bed. The loneliness, the regret, his memories flooded over him. He thought about the year he spent with Mithian. How had she been so clever, how had he not known? He ran through his memories.<p>

He thought she loved him, even if he didn't fully love her back. He felt betrayal and foolishness overwhelm him. He felt stupid, stupid and weak.

Arthur turned into his pillow, burying his head in the soft texture of the cotton. _How could I be so stupid?_ It was obvious, in plain sight; love wasn't an option for someone like him. Every time, every single time love had come around, even in its lighter forms, it was stolen from him. Merlin, Mithian, his family, all gone.

Arthur let out a chocked sob and sniffed against the cool wall, letting himself mourn, letting himself _cry_.

"Arthur?"

Arthur gasped in surprise. He slowly rolled over, his bloodshot gaze meeting Merlin's tender blue one. The window above Arthur's bed gave just enough light that he could see the sapphire halos shallowly buried in Merlin's eyes, their colors resonating with his heartbeat, forcing butterflies and shame to unravel in his stomach.

"Arthur, are you alright."

He laid there for a bit, thinking about what to say;

_No, I'm not alright. I thought you were dead, why didn't you understand? Why couldn't you just wait? I would have left her, Merlin, left her in a fucking heartbeat. No, Merlin, I'm not okay, I need you, you're sleeping just feet from me yet I can't hold you, I can't love you, I can't kiss you. You've been the only thing I can think about, you've been in my mind, in my dreams._

He really wanted to say, _No, Merlin, I'm not alright. I love you, but you love someone else. I'm not good enough._

Arthur turned away from Merlin, his eyes stinging with resentment and agony.

"I'm fine, j-just please... leave me be."


	29. Chapter 29: Preparation

The morning air was as dry as the sky was dark. Even with the sun cresting over the horizon, its light seemed to stop short of reaching the ground. Merlin swung his bag over his shoulder, where inside it he had packed a few spell books and some supplies: water, food, a camping set, etc. He stopped gazing out of the kitchen window and slowly crept through the living room, doing his best to not wake Arthur, who was sleeping on a fold-up bed against the far wall.

It might have been Arthur's choice to come along, but it was Merlin's choice to accept the responsibility of waking him up.

Merlin reached the door and slowly began to turn it, not taking his eye off of Arthur. He slowly pulled the door open and—

"Ahh!" Merlin screamed, and he collided with something soft and… "Arthur?"

Arthur tapped his foot impatiently as Merlin looked from him to the bed and back to him again. His eyes were wide with confusion and shock. Arthur sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Pillows, Merlin, pillows. Somehow I just _knew _you were going to try to leave without me."He placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder and took a step towards him so their bodies were almost touching. Merlin almost stepped back, but something stopped him. Something about the way the air smelled just then, the gentle waves of body heat that Merlin could feel against his whole being.

"I'd yell at you, but I forgot that I don't have that right anymore," Arthur whispered. His breath was moist on Merlin's face, a dynamic contrast with the cool morning air. Merlin turned his head away, blushing with embarrassment. Arthur turned around and pulled out a map from his pocket.

"Besides," Arthur continued, "I have the map, remember?"

"Right," Merlin replied, finally getting his voice back. "So, how do we get there?"

Arthur scanned over the map with his eyes. He quickly spun in a circle, gathering a bearing of his surroundings.

"This way," Arthur said and he walked down the street, pulling his cloak up over his head.

Merlin took a deep breath and pulled his own cloak up, briskly walking to catch up to Arthur.

_It's going to be a long day, _Merlin thought.

* * *

><p>A few hours into their walking they reached something very odd. Arthur and Merlin both began to walk slower as they took notice to the veil—the line where Richard's poison ended and the beauty of The Fade continued: a large gray smoky wall of magic that bound everything inside. Arthur reached forward and touched the smoky wall, and quickly pulled his hand back.<p>

"It's... It's so cold."

Merlin watched in horror as a leaf drifted in the wind towards them. It crossed the line and in that instant, it lost all life. Whatever color it had been before had become gray and its shape and texture began to rot and disintegrate. By the time it reached Merlin's face, it was nothing but ash.

Arthur reached out and took Merlin's hand.

"Ready?" he asked.

Merlin nodded. Arthur pulled out a red crystal from his bad and smashed it on the ground. The smoke rose and began to stick to their skin and clothing. Arthur gave him a gentle tug and together, they crossed over from the darkness and into the light. Merlin closed his eyes as he felt the wave of ice flood over his body, only to have them forced open as he felt the clean fresh air of the other side rush against his body.

The change was astonishing.

The sun was full and blue in the sky, a color Merlin wasn't used to seeing, but colors rarely stayed the same in The Fade. Merlin let the scent of the morning flowers and the warm sunlight wash over him, filling him with their power, their life. Merlin felt rejuvenated, his stamina replenished. He heard Arthur gasp beside him and squeeze his hand, in just as much awe as Merlin was. Arthur turned to him, and their eyes locked. Merlin was still holding his hand, reluctant to let go.

Arthur smiled. "Maybe it's a good time for lunch?" he asked, the blue rays of light gently shimmering against his blond hair.

Merlin smiled back in response and swung his backpack off his shoulder.

–o–

Merlin had laid out a blanket for them to sit on so they didn't get their clothes dirty. In his backpack he had packed two sandwiches, two bottles of water and two bags of crackers. Silently, he and Arthur ate on the blanket, which Merlin had laid a few hundred feet out from where the veil was, against a tall apple tree (or so he thought).

Arthur was sitting at the head of the blanket, his back against the tree, enjoying the afternoon breeze. His head was tilted back and his eyes were closed, mouth chewing slowly. Merlin was lying at the other end of the blanket. His head was propped up by his back pack.

"So... what exactly is this place?" Arthur asked, his eyes still closed.

Merlin took a deep breath. _Where to begin?_

And so, Merlin told him while they ate. He told him about The Fade and how it was the refuge of most of the magical creatures that used to live on Earth. He told him about how they moved here when people became hostile and how they had been cooped up here ever since.

By now, Arthur had gotten up and laid across the blanket on his stomach, head propped up on his elbows. He was only inches from Merlin, but Merlin didn't seem to mind. Arthur nodded when Merlin explained something and laughed when Merlin laughed and somehow, Merlin had gotten around to telling Arthur all that had happened in the past two years.

"It's amazing how much our lives have changed." Arthur confessed, he instinctively ran his hand along Merlin's face.

"Yeah..." Merlin replied. He didn't move from Arthur's hand.

"What about Will? You haven't talked about that him at all." Arthur asked. He could see Merlin's regret as his smile faded from his face.

"I-I didn't think you'd wanna hear about that," Merlin admitted.

Arthur ruffled his hair with a free hand. "Merlin, just because – we can't be – err…" he stammered. He sat up and took a deep breath, taking the last bite of his sandwich and gulping down a mouthful of water. Arthur cleared his throat and continued. "It's just, we can't be together... but that doesn't mean I'm not your friend, I wanna know everything about you – still. If you'll let me."

Arthur was trying his best to smile, but his sorrow was leaking out around his eyes, and he knew it too. Merlin could only roll onto his back and sit up, where he began absently picking up the plastic from the sandwich bags and stuffed them in his backpack.

"I think it's time we kept going, right? It's getting late," Merlin said eventually, his conviction a dead giveaway that he was avoiding the subject.

Arthur nodded, his own smiled fading.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

><p>"Merlin, <em>stop<em>."

"But—"

"You're not my manservant today. Let me do it, please, I—"

Merlin cut him off with a snort. "What? Look after me? Arthur, you can't even look after yourself."

"I can so!" Arthur protested as if he were still the indignant, stubborn six-year-old prince he had once been. "I look after you!"

A small smile tugged at Merlin's lips as he settled onto his side, watching as Arthur tried to keep his gaze on his manservant and figure out what food Merlin had brought through by picking at the packaging. He wasn't doing very well.

"Yes, you do," Merlin said, grinning now.

Arthur rolled his eyes and poked at some concoction Merlin had brought from the kitchens, turning his nose up. "Gods, Merlin, what is this?"

"I think Clarine said it was pheasant."

"How did you get all of it?" Arthur still looked disgusted as he rooted through the basket.

"I have a charm."

Arthur laughed one, short loud sound, then his eyes became wide and he exclaimed, "Pork!" and all finally seemed right in his world. Merlin looked upon the King with wide, blue eyes and was greeted with the same amount of adoration. Here they were happy, alone with each other like they had not been in weeks. Being the King of Camelot allowed them very little free time. Albion was waiting to be born, and Arthur was needed.

Merlin inched forward, ready to serve himself and Arthur, who was still having trouble with Clarine's wrapping. "God awful woman," Arthur would occasionally mumble, followed by a further mumbling off, "—brilliant cook, but it bewilders—"

"Arthur, let me."

But Arthur batted his hands away. "No," he said through gritted teeth. "I can do it."

"If you're sure," Merlin replied, beaming, content to settle back and watch his king struggle.

"Don't look so gleeful."

"M'kay." Merlin propped himself up on his side again, spreading his legs out along the blanket, allowing himself to bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun.

They were in their meadow, a place Merlin had once happened across when Arthur was still a prince. When he'd suggested they spend the day away from politics, men of court, knights and their duties, Merlin had jumped at the chance. It was peaceful, here, untroubled and calming to even the most restless. Merlin liked to believe it, and will himself away with it.

"Oh, damn the food," Arthur growled, surprising Merlin as he sidled up against him and pulled him tight against his chest, possessive but careful hands roaming bare skin as he was held.

"Hungry?"

"You've no idea," he said, and Merlin didn't think they were talking about the food anymore. "You should not be able to do that."

Merlin plastered innocence across his face as he pulled back, seeking Arthur's own. "What?"

"You," he growled again. "In the bloody sunshine. Not fair."

Merlin found he wanted to apologize, but he wouldn't have meant it. Instead he grinned and looked up to Arthur's eyes. "I spent ages trying to convince her to spare me that food."

"Shame," Arthur murmured, diving for Merlin's neck. "You know that's a lie. You don't have to bargain food for a king."

"You do when said king eats like a horse, and his manservant has to provide the food."

"Lucky you're not my manservant then, isn't it?" Arthur said between nips and licks against Merlin's pale skin. Merlin was busy trying to keep a straight head and speak coherently. He had no idea if he was being convincing about it.

He pulled back, depriving Arthur of the flesh he was feasting upon with a predatory expression. "What?"

"I said, _Merlin, _that it's a good thing you're not my manservant, isn't it? You don't have to provide the food, now."

Merlin frowned. "Now?"

"You are dense, Merlin." Arthur shifted his weight, pinning Merlin against the blanket and hovering above him so that he could pull away no longer. He was Arthur's, after all. "Honestly."

"I don't—"

"Do you want to be my manservant or not?"

"I'm happy to be your servant," Merlin said sincerely, trying to keep a clear distance between their chests so that he could _think _and give Arthur no reason to call him an idiot, even if it was his term of endearment. "Until the day I—"

"You die," Arthur finished for him. "I know, I've heard it before."

"So why...?"

Arthur pressed himself against Merlin, knowing exactly what he was trying to do. Merlin didn't know who twitched more. Him, probably. "This is my way of telling you that you are now my court advisor. My right hand man. Or left hand man. What do you want to be? I mean, you're going to be... well, consort, I guess, you know, but I don't want you to jump from manservant to consort. Gods, could you imagine? You wouldn't know what to do with yourself. You'd get all confused. It'd be funny, really, for my benefit, but I don't think that Geoffrey, the old man, would appreciate it when he's crowning you and—"

Merlin tipped his head up, sliding his hand around the back of Arthur's neck to pull him in. "You," he said between a kiss, "are a prat." He kissed Arthur again. "The biggest, most awkward, rambling, irritating but brilliant prat."

Arthur grinned. Only now did he look rather sheepish. "Thank you," he said, and they couldn't help but kiss again. "Although you should be thanking me."

"Tell me again. What am I thanking you for?" Merlin wriggled against the blanket, trying to gain some leverage over Arthur. "I'm—_oh_, right there, _yes..."_

"Merlin. Will you, the world's biggest idiot, be my..." Arthur wriggled his nose. "My advisor."

"Hey, don't look so disgusted!" Merlin cried petulantly. He bucked up in Arthur. It was meant to be in punishment, but it only encouraged him further.

"It's just not a big enough word. It doesn't feel right. _Consort, _maybe_, _and _husband_ and _mine_, however..."

"Yes, yes, and yes," Merlin said, before he was lost to the world forever. Arthur could only lose himself with him.

* * *

><p>"Oh my God."<p>

Arthur stood in awe at the bottom of the mountain. At the top he could see hundreds of dragons of all shapes and sizes circling and flying around the—

Arthur's thoughts of awe were interrupted by the sound of roaring and the quick hard landing of something heavy behind him. He turned to see a large silver dragon. His scales were metallic and his body was slender but long. He was easily thirty meters tall and possibly even twice that in length. Arthur could feel his pulse rise. _If he wanted to, this dragon could tear me apart in one blow._

"What does the hume want with this land?" the dragon asked. Her voice was sweet, but her eyes were bright blue orbs of power and fire. She unfolded her wings to show her strength and then took a few pounding steps towards Arthur and Merlin.

"We desire Kilgharrah and William," Merlin responded.

The dragon screamed, her head ripping into the air. She lifted her wing and began to swing it towards Arthur and Merlin.

"Stop!" Merlin screamed.

The dragon's claw was only inches from Arthur, frozen in place at the command of her master's call. Arthur let out his held breath, and shivering in fear he fell to his knees.

"A Dragonlord!" the dragon spat. "Where, oh where, did Richard find you?"

"I am not with Richard. I am with Nimueh. I am Dragoon, the Unseeing." Merlin hadn't really known if he _was _in fact Dragoon, but it sounded cool and he needed all the leverage he could get.

"I see," the dragon replied.

"You will take me to Kilgharrah and William," Merlin commanded. He stood firm in the shadow of the dragon.

"He is sick and needs his—"

"Do you dare defy your master?" Merlin scolded. He took a few steps towards the mighty dragon, his hand extended, trying to will it into submission.

The dragon recoiled and flapped its wings, letting out a loud roar. Arthur pushed himself back, the roar instilling fear deep in his heart, as was the magic of a dragon's roar.

"No one talks down to the mighty Aithusa! You will show me respect—"

"I SAID, YOU WILL TAKE ME TO THEM!" Merlin screamed, his eyes glazed in gold, just like Arthur had seen so many times before. Aithusa backed down and dropped her head.

"As you wish, Dragon _L__ord_. Though I must inform you, the hume you desire is not well."


	30. Chapter 30: Rebellion

On the back of the huge dragon Merlin and Arthur rose into the sky. Aithusa's wings shimmered in the sunlight and she roared as she rose higher and higher into the sky. Arthur held onto Merlin tightly, too afraid to look down, but also too amazed to close his eyes. Merlin could feel him shiver in fear and excitement as they continued to ascend and the land of The Fade expanded below them with the cool evening air over their faces. Arthur couldn't shake the feeling that he had done this before.

Aithusa perched at the opening of a large tunnel in the side of the mountain. Arthur and Merlin clumsily slid off and landed on the soft dirt of the mountain, when Merlin then bowed his head in respect.

"The ones you seek are in there," she said after bowing back at Merlin. "Make haste, their lives are not bound for this world much longer."

Merlin held up his hand. Night was setting in and the darkness was growing deeper by the minute. He muttered a few words and his hand ejected a small white sphere, emitting a wide beam of light in front of him that illuminated the entrance of the tunnel.

This time it was Merlin who took Arthur's hand. He was too tired to worry about him coming across as affectionate, because right now, he was afraid of what he might find. Will, dying. Kilgharrah, dying. How many friends would he lose before this fight was over, before everyone could sleep in peace again?

Together, hand in hand, Merlin and Arthur entered the dark tunnel, ready to face the horrors that lied within.

* * *

><p>Nimueh clutched her chest, feeling Richard's power seep into her, begging her for her soul. Even the strongest witches and warlocks were falling now; it was only a matter of time before she fell too. She leaned over the counter of her kitchen, trying to will Richard's magic out of her.<p>

"Hurry..." Nimueh whispered into the cold air of her house. "Please. Please hurry."

* * *

><p>"What does Gwen have to do with anything?"<p>

Merlin scoffed and shook his head.

"I see the way you look at her. I'm not daft, Arthur."

"The way I – of course, she's my _girlfriend._ Merlin." Arthur sat at his desk and randomly pulled a piece of paper up, doing his best to concentrate on what the words said, trying to ignore the fact that Merlin was being stupid, like usual.

"What am I then?" Merlin asked, voice raised.

"You're my bloody servant, that's what you are. What kind of question is that?"

"That's it then... just a servant?" Merlin asked.

"Can you become pregnant?" Arthur sarcastically inquired. He lifted his head from his work and stared deep into Merlin's eyes. "Well?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "No, Arthur, of course –"

Arthur got up and grabbed Merlin's arm, dragging him to the door.

"Then you are useless to me. Do you _really _think I can be with _another man. _If you could produce me an _heir _then _maybe, _but, really Merlin. You're _just a servant_._" _

Merlin recoiled at those words. Arthur had drug him to the door by now and he opened it for Merlin, swaying his hand, signaling him out.

"We can _never _be together. Get that through your stupid head or I'll find another servant."

"But you said you lo –" Merlin was interrupted by the door slamming shut in his face, causing him to flinch. His shoulder's fell and he took a step back.

"You said you loved me." he whispered as he quickly began to walk down the hall.

Arthur leaned against his door and slid to the floor, he rested his head in his hands. He spoke softly into the night air, confessing only to himself.

"I do, Merlin. I do, we just _can't_ be together."

* * *

><p>The room was huge but dark, fires along the walls barely illuminated the dark dry cave that Kilgharrah was resting in.<p>

"Kilgharrah?"

The weak dragon lifted his head. His scales were no longer brilliantly red like they once were. They had become tinted with sin and disease. He weakly turned his large body to face the young magician, scales of his falling off in the attempt.

"Merlin. I'm glad you're here," Kilgharrah whispered lifelessly. He let out a few coughs, raspy and thick. Merlin reached his hand out, his fingers gently grazing Kilgharrah's snout.

"I was hoping you would find me. I had searched the Earth world for you, but I came up empty."

Merlin retracted his hand.

"You're here because you need to know what you do not, yes?" Kilgharrah asked.

Merlin could only nod. The once powerful dragon was slowly rotting away in front of him. Merlin could see the disease spread through his large body, turning his scales gray and his eyes black. Merlin couldn't stand the sight of him. Another casualty due to the horrible tyranny of Richard.

"How... How did you hurt him?" Arthur asked.

"Ah yes," Kilgharrah responded. "His magic is not so absolute. I was able to use a powerful dragon hex on his mortal body, encasing his spiritual magic inside of him. Had I not, this world would be in shambles, disintegrating even as far as out here, where no magic has ever before pierced. He, however, was also able to get the upper hand on me, hitting me with a very powerful blast and infecting me with his disease."

Kilgharrah lifted his wing to show a large gash in his side. The blood had crusted over and was black and the wound was seeping purple puss, a colour which was spreading through his body.

"Before we continue, I must inform you of something terrible, young warlock."

"Wha-what do you mean?" Merlin asked. His mind was racing, what bad news could Kilgharrah have for him, everyone he had ever loved, ever been with was dead – _Will_. His mind flashed back to the morning, when he felt Will's energy leave The Fade. He was hoping that he was masked by the dragons or just sick and saving his energy. It was a common trick, to stop radiating magical energy, it kept you alive for weeks without food or water, slowing down the body's energy consumption, but Merlin had been wrong.

Kilgharrah saw the expression change on the young boy, turning from confusion to sorrow and anger.

"Yes, you assume correctly," the mighty dragon whispered. "But, I hope it comforts you to know that he did not die in vain."

"Who died?" Arthur asked, confused. He turned to Merlin and could immediately read the sorrow on his face, the sorry that one feels when they've lost a lover.

"Wait... Will?"

Merlin turned to him, his eyes rimmed with tears and nodded in response.

"I've – I've known – err... I assumed," Merlin confessed. "T-This morning, when I could no longer feel his life here. I was... I was h-h-hoping that," Merlin held back a sob, "that he was just weak... or... or something but, no..."

The dragon purred, extending his wing and gently, with more compassion then Merlin thought a wing could produce, stroked Merlin's cheek, catching a tear as it rolled down his face.

"As I said, young warlock, his death was not in vain," Kilgharrah repeated. "Before he died, I was able to extract his soul and place it in this. Richard's magic corrupts and destroys the body, and then steals the soul, adding it to his power, destroying it in the process. I was able to save his soul before Richard's magic could take it."

Kilgharrah extended his large claws and dropped a small blue crystal in Merlin's hand.

"W-What?" Merlin held the small jewel. He couldn't feel Will, but he could feel life. The crystal was brimming with power, pulsing and humming in his hand. "W-What... am I supposed to do with it?"

Kilgharrah chuckled. "It is one half of a whole, with it you will be able to bring down Richard, but first..." He coughed again, and more scales fell. Merlin could feel his life slipping away. "First, you must know about Richard, and how his magic works."

"But," Merlin began to argue. "We don't have time—"

"Please, Merlin, you must listen."

Merlin closed his mouth and sat on the dry rocky floor of the cave.

"Thank you. Now, Richard is a creature like no other. He is not man nor is he demon or warlock, but something else entirely. His magic is poison, pure poison, and his existence is a travesty to all life. Do you know how one gets to The Fade if they are not magical and are unaided by an inhabitant of The Fade?" Kilgharrah asked.

Both Merlin and Arthur shook their heads.

"You must sacrifice lives, many of them. The sinful nature of the ritual and the innocent lives that are lost creates a rift, a dirty tear in the fabric of space and time."

Kilgharrah cleared his throat and he looked down at Merlin with sorrowful eyes.

"But these spirits he did not let free. When they were done with their sacrifice he bound them to his skin, an unholy armor. His poison and his armor are two sides of the same coin, as are you and Arthur, the sword and the staff, the brains and the brawn, swift and the strong. Do you understand?"

Merlin nodded, turning to Arthur who had his eyes pinned on him. They were tender but concerned, heavy with the weight of their task.

"Arthur, do you have your sword?" Kilgharrah asked.

"Yes," Arthur replied. He quickly pulled out his compact blade from his pocket. With the flick of his wrist it unfolded into a long thin blade. Arthur wasn't used to one handed swords but since his old sword was still in Mordred's ruined dungeon, it was all he had.

"Merlin, hold out the crystal I gave you," the dragon said.

Merlin extended his hand and held it flat, the blue crystal resting in the middle of his palm. Kilgharrah leaned in and licked the crystal into his mouth. Merlin heard a soft crunch and Kilgharrah consumed the soul.

"Merlin, hold the sword up with your magic," Kilgharrah commanded.

"But... you just—"

"Please! Just do as I say!" Kilgharrah roared.

Merlin closed his eyes and extended his hand, slowly lifting Arthur's sword out of his hands, levitating it a meter off the ground. Kilgharrah took a deep breath and then exhaled directly onto the blade. His breath was fiery and golden, with streams of blue twisting and circling Arthur's sword.

The sword fell from Merlin's grasp, too heavy for him to hold anymore, and it gently landed in Arthur's. Arthur noticed the weight difference, the sharpness of the blade, and the light engravings on the side.

"I have given you the power to break his unholy armor," Kilgharrah stated. "But to slay him, you need one final component."

"What, what is it?" Merlin cried. He was so tired of these riddles, these games. He was too tired.

"My own soul."

"What?" Merlin screamed, defiant. "What? No! Kilgharrah!"

"Young warlock! Did you not hear me? This disease will consume my soul, and with all my magic in that blade, my soul will soon be taken. Young William's soul is already in the blade, and mine must join him or you will not be able to kill Richard. I promise that once the task in complete, I will exit the blade and take William with me, into the afterlife."

Arthur stepped forward. Merlin was in tears, he couldn't, he could not take a life. Too many had been lost to this war, too many-

"I will do it."

"What? Arthur? No!"

"Did you not hear him, Merlin?" Arthur yelled back. His eyes were fierce with determination. He gripped the blade with white knuckles. "If we do not save him from his body, his soul will join _Richard'_s. Do you know what he could do with that kind of _power_?"

Merlin said nothing. His will was broken, and his body was standing with just the last bit of strength he had left. Arthur walked closer to Kilgharrah and held the sword high. The dragon bowed his head.

"Thank you, sire," Kilgharrah whispered.

Arthur plunged the sword deep into Kilgharrah's skull. The mighty dragon retracted his head and roared to the roof of the cave. The sword began to glow and pulse a golden yellow. The aura traveled over the dragon's body, turning his gray scales red, stitching his cuts, his wounds, places the infection had ripped open. Kilgharrah roared again as he spread his wings in triumph, his body glowing in gold.

_I give you now my soul, my strength._

Kilgharrah's body shattered into a million tiny golden sparks. They swirled around the blade, fast and true. The blade humming as his soul became one with it, the sparks binding with it until there were no more sparks and only the blade, golden and brimming with power.

_Use it well._

The sword dropped into Arthur's hand and he folded it back up. He turned to Merlin who was sitting on the floor, unmoving.

"Merlin—?"

"I can't."

"What?" Arthur asked, confused. "What do you—?"

"I just can't!" Merlin screamed. "Gwen and Morgana and _Will_ and Kilgharrah and m-m-my family and... Arthur... I-I just can't... anymore." Merlin was rocking back and forth, his knees brought up to his chest. He was breathing shallowly, chokes and sobs escaping as he tried to speak. "So... so much death... Arthur!"

Arthur sat next to him and wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Merlin rested his head on Arthur's collarbone, nuzzling in close.

"Shh... Shh... It's alright Merlin," Arthur cooed. He ran his fingers through Merlin's dark hair and Merlin sobbed into his chest. "We're going to kill the bastard, Merlin, we will. We're going to set the world right again."

* * *

><p>The morning harbored no relief for Merlin. His mind was foggy, immediately returning to the events of the previous night. His heart ached, but his mind had returned to its rational position. He had a job to do, he had lives to save. Merlin's attention was quickly pulled by the rustling beside him and the weight of an arm being removed from his chest. The bed he was laying on was not his own, and even with last night's memories still in his mind, he had forgotten where he was. Merlin hadn't slept with Arthur, he'd know that, but it was still uncomfortable having him so close. After losing Kilgharrah, after losing Gwen, after losing – <em>Will <em>– he had felt dirty, dirty and guilty. If only he had been a little stronger, then maybe, just maybe he could have saved –

"Good morning Dragon Lord."

Merlin's attention and gaze shifted to a small man standing at the foot of his bed. His stature was short and his clothes we're tattered, but his face was cleanly shaven and his posture astute.

"Who... are you?" Merlin asked the small man.

"I am a... servant to the dragons." The man confessed. "I have come to tell you that the dragons have departed for lands beyond The Fade."

Merlin cocked his head and Arthur gently rolled over in his sleep. "Then why are you still here." He asked.

"I, sadly, cannot cross realms, Dragon Lord."

"Merlin, call me Merlin, please."

"Yes – ahem – Merlin. You're going to have to make it back to your home land on your own. Aithusa was going to take you herself but the disease is spreading. Soon this entire place will be engulfed in it's... in it's sin." The short man's eyes shot to the floor then drifted gently to the right. Merlin could see his mind falling back to a sadder place, a place tainted by Richard's dark magic, much like Merlin. Merlin could feel his own memories sliding into place in his head, Morgana, Gwen, Lance, Will, his friends, his family, all succumbing to the darkness. He thought towards his mother, he wondered where she was now. Surely she had gotten away, escaped, but little did Merlin know that Hunith was searching for them now, in the skies above the fade.

Merlin shuffled out of bed, careful not to disturb Arthur and walked over to the man.

"I will _not _let that happen." Merlin whispered and he pulled him into an embrace. The short man's arms slowly wrapped themselves around Merlin.

"I lost my – my mum and..." the short man cried.

"I understand."

"And you will – _Richard?_"

"Yes, I will. I'll take care of him. It. _All _of it."

The short man pulled back and wiped his nose with his tattered sleeve. His eyes were blood shot but they were also full of faith, faith in Merlin. Merlin felt his heart lift with hope, hope for the future, hope for The Fade, and hope that he and Arthur can work this – _them _– out, when its all done.

Maybe, just maybe, happiness is right around the corner.

* * *

><p>They we're half way through their journey back when Merlin had heard the sound. Arthur was quietly fidgeting with his new blade, running his hands along the imbued script on the hilt, passing his hand along the side of the blade, feeling its form, its texture. Arthur had accidentally let his hand slip, running the blade's edge along his hands. He had expected the blade to slice through his palms, but unexpectedly he felt no pain, there wasn't even a mark.<p>

"Did you hear that?" Merlin asked.

Arthur turned his attention to Merlin and then to the sky. He had heard something, it was like the sound of a eagle or some type of hawk.

"I heard... something, why is it bothering you?" Arthur asked.

Merlin shushed him. He could feel a presence. It was familiar, it was homey. Merlin's eyes we're drawn to the near by forest, he could feel something there.

Something.

_Hunith._

Merlin took off running at full speed to the edge of the woods. He leaped off the beaten dirt path and into a dense meadow, knocking over various plant life as he bolted closer and closer to the energies of his mother. He knew she had been alive, he knew it.

"Merlin? Merlin! Where are you going?" Arthur yelled running after him.

"Its my mum, Arthur! I'd-I'd know her feel anywhere!" Merlin picked up his pace as he ran across the flourished field. Arthur was right behind him, running as fast as he could. Merlin stopped just a few feet from the edge of the forest, looking deep into the darkness, the sun barely penetrating the dense canopy above.

"Mum! Mum!" Merlin yelled, cupping his hands around his face, trying to throw is voice as hard as he could.

"Merlin are you sure –"

"Shush!" Merlin commanded. "Mum! Mum! It's weak up, I can _feel _her, she must be hurt!" Merlin took a few steps towards the forest but stopped abruptly at the sound of Hunith's voice.

"Mer – lin."

"See, Arthur, see!" Merlin exclaimed, a bright smile filled his face, extending to his ears, "I told you! I told – Mum! Mum!"

"Mer – lin"

But something was wrong, her voice, it was distorted, dark, slow. Arthur cautiously stepped back, squinting, trying to see into the forest. He could feel emptiness and corruption.

"Mer – lin."

Merlin felt something along side his mother, something disturbed, something sinister. He enchanted his eyes so they could penetrate the darkness of the forest.

"Mer – lin, Merlin!"

Merlin's eyes locked on to his mother, and his smile quickly turned from happiness to fear. Arthur took a step back in horror and quickly grabbed Merlin's arm, pulling him back with him as a huge black creature slowly walked out of the forest and into view. It spread it's wings spread wide, it's mouths open. Together, the heads continued to chant.

"Mer – lin."

"Mer – lin."

Arthur unsheathed his blade and extended it out, pulling Merlin's small body behind him. The creatures heads cocks and their eyes locked on to Arthur's body. It reared on its back legs and screamed into the sky, wings extended. Merlin's hands grew brighter as he saw him mother in this abominable form.

Merlin's eyes filled with tears, his mother, the only woman he ever loved, was only meters from him.

"Mer – lin"

He could feel his mother's trapped soul inside the creature in front of him. His hands began to glow with magic as he held them up defensively in front of him. Hunith screamed again, scratching at the ground with her hooves, she snorted.

Merlin could not touch her or talk to her.

"Mer – lin"

Merlin could not hold her, or comfort her, or tell her everything was okay.

"Mer – lin"

Merlin could only kill her and set her soul free.

"Mer – lin!" Hunith screamed again and began to gallop towards them. Merlin raised one hand and a large blue bubble formed around them. Hunith rammed into the wall and recoiled back, small splatters of blood on the exterior of the shield, a small crack forming at the point of impact.

Merlin began to pant, his mind in shock. He quickly regained his resolve and held the other hand up, sealing the hairline cracks that we're spanning across the only thing stopping Hunith from killing them both.

"Mum!" Merlin screamed as he tried to pull her out of her trance. He felt his body fill with rage. _How did she become like – Richard... of – of course._

"That's not your mother!" Arthur yelled back, his sword was pointed in front of him.

"Yes... yes it is." Merlin looked to Arthur who took his eyes off of Merlin to look back. Arthur could see the truth in Merlin's face and felt his knees become weak. He had known Hunith only for a little while, but she was one of the nicest women Arthur had ever met. Arthur's knuckles turned white as his grip on the blade tightened.

"Mer – lin! Merlin! _MER – LIN!_"

He turned his attention back to Hunith who was slowly circling the blue barrier. Each head was panting and screaming Merlin's name. It's body meticulously moving, stalking, hunting its prey; each step calculating how to best kill its target. It was feral and corrupt and it made Merlin feel sick to his stomach.

_My God, Mum... what Richard do to you?_


	31. Chapter 31: Purification

"Mum!"

Hunith was fast, lightning fast. Her blows upon the brittle magical shield were fierce and unrelenting. Her hooves pounded with the power only a beast could produce but with the strategic accuracy of a human. Merlin was flinching with each strike, each blow weakening the shield further and further. He felt his magic drain from him to the shield, doing his best to repair it before his mo – the _monster _– broke—

The shield shattered.

Hunith quickly launched her tail at Merlin, but Arthur was faster, slicing its head off. Merlin watched in shock as the blade's magic hastily ate at her tail, purging the darkness and purifying it with light. Hunith turned one of her heads and saw the light traveling down her tail. She lifted her back leg and gripped onto her tail firmly, before ripping it out. Arthur took another swing at her but she quickly evaded. Hunith let out a fierce roar, sending a shock wave at both Arthur and Merlin. Hunith flew high into the sky, Merlin falling back on his arse from the roar, his hands no longer glowing with the defensive magic he had been producing. He panted weakly as he squinted against the sunlight, Hunith using the light to swoop down, trying to catch them off guard.

"No, no," Merlin whispered. "Mum, no."

Hunith flew down, her speeds reaching supersonic, a wave of mist forming around her body, wings pulled in tight. Her body was propelled by Richard's hate and magic.

Merlin felt his magic boil and over flow, coursing through his veins and pouring into the word. Time slowed down and then came to a screeching halt. Hunith was only inches from Arthur, hooves extended, ready to collide with him, to _kill _him.

Merlin quickly ran to Arthur, not knowing how long this advanced magic would last. He pulled his stiff body and dragged him out of the way, before his magic lost hold and Hunith zoomed past them, a sonic boom deafening them. Hunith hit the ground hard, stirring up dust and debris. Merlin's hands shot up to his ears, repairing the damage and then to Arthur's, who was sitting on the ground, dazed. Merlin pulled him to his feet and carried him off as far as he could before Hunith emerged from the rubble.

Arthur found his footing and stood up, his sword still in hand. Merlin and Arthur flinched as Hunith screamed and shot out from the dust cloud. Merlin was trying as hard as he could to remain rational, but he couldn't stop feelings of betrayal from poisoning his mind. Merlin thought about the times he was sick, and she had nursed him back to health. He thought about her smile, and her love for him, how he had supported her when she married Richard.

_Richard._

Merlin's fist clenched tight. He felt raw hate flow through him. His iris glazed golden and he let his magic explode, filling the ground and air around him.

_The ground is consistent with 20% iron and 45% carbon, 2% of which isn't bonded. If I can just..._

Merlin's magic became stringy and whipped through the ground, severing the bonds between the carbon and its partners. It flowed and picked up every atom of Iron it could get.

"Arthur, hold your sword out straight, and don't move," Merlin commanded.

"What?" Arthur asked, confused. Hunith scratched in the air and bolted at Arthur again.

"Just do it!" Merlin screamed. His magic continued to flow and began to melt the iron, fusing it with the carbon.

Hunith was getting closer and closer. "Just a little longer," Merlin whispered. Hunith was longer at breakneck speeds but her velocity would surely kill Arthur. Merlin continued to mold the iron and carbon, turning it into steel, mixed with the threads of his magic, Merlin finally had his weapon. Merlin lifted his eyes to see his mother, but this time he didn't see her abominable shell, he saw her, her soul. He saw her pain, and her agony, he could see her being consumed by the dark magic that embodied the creature she was trapped in. He felt so sorry for her, but he remained vigilant and with the flick of his wrist, unleashed his fury.

Millions of tiny ropes of steel and magic shot from the ground, invisible to the naked eye but deadly. They rose into the sky, piercing Hunith's body and wrapping through her muscles and bones, cutting off her nervous system and giving Merlin complete control. He could see his magic entwine and he made sure that not a single thread pierced his mother's soul.

Merlin panted as he pushed his magic to its extreme. Hunith was still traveling quickly at Arthur, but this time it was Merlin was in control. He slowed her down and quickly landed her on the ground, only meters from Arthur.

Merlin was struggling for control. The magic inside of Hunith was powerful, but Merlin was stronger.

"Now, Arthur, now!" Merlin cried.

Arthur didn't hesitate. He quickly ran at Hunith and trusted his sword firmly into her chest, deep into the body of the creature. Merlin could see the blade, how deep it ran. It pierced the creature's heart but most importantly, it pierced his mother's soul. He could instantly see the power of the blade go to world, the wound shining at the edges as it ate away at Hunith's evil armor, growing brighter and brighter until she gave off light brighter than the sun. Arthur turned away but Merlin watched as Excalibur's magic cleansed; stripping sin away until Hunith she was just a woman, laying in a pool of black sludge.

Arthur opened his eyes to find Merlin holding Hunith in his arms. He didn't approach, for what was being said and heard was not for his ears. He quickly folded up his blade and placed it in his back pocket, taking a deep sigh and sitting on the ground.

"Mum," Merlin cried. Hunith opened her eyes slowly. Her body was volatile, twitching and bulging from the aftermath. Merlin was using his magic to hold her together, but his strength was fading fast. Hunith looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"Merlin... my boy." Hunith groaned. "I'm so sorry. I d-didn't... mean –"

"Shh, Mum, no." Merlin caressed her face, tears pouring from his eyes. "D-Don't talk okay. Save your strength."

"Merlin," Hunith continued. "The things I-I did... _children..."_

"No! Mother, it was _not _you! It was Richard! You know that!" Merlin cried. Hunith was becoming more and more unstable. "Arthur!" Merlin yelled. "Arthur, come quick!"

"Merlin, I did such horrible things," Hunith confessed.

"No, no you didn't mum. You just hush okay? Arthur!" Merlin yelled, his voice breaking.

Arthur ran to Merlin and knelt beside him. He could see that Hunith was not long for this world.

"Arthur, please, help me!" Merlin cried.

Arthur looked at him shocked. "M-Merlin, I don't know what to do!"

"Don't you have a magic crystal or something? Please – No! Mum! No!" Merlin turned to his mother as the last of his magic left her.

"Merlin!" Hunith cried, her voice barely above a whisper. Merlin was holding her tight in his hands. "Help! Help me! I don't want to –"

Her body froze solid, a crack of light forming at the center of her forehead. It quickly spread through her face, down her neck, and throughout her body.

"No! Mum, please! Please!"

In a swift instant, Hunith's body exploded into a million gold orbs, but, unlike Kilgharrah, she did not swirl around the blade of Excalibur, instead, she gently rose into the sky, towards the sun. Merlin cradled the air where she was just moments ago and slouched against Arthur.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," Merlin whispered brokenly to Arthur. Arthur was holding back his sobs; silently crying next to him. Merlin had never felt more angry and helpless. His mother, his own mother needed him, but Merlin couldn't save her._ Richard_ was to blame. He took everything from Merlin, everything.

Now he was going to pay.

"_I'm going to fucking kill him."_

* * *

><p>Arthur pulled the tent entrance back just enough to allow room for him to slip through. The final discussions had not gone well, and if anything, the situation for Camelot's army had now become dire. There would be no final peace treaty, no final agreement to spare their men from battle, no more council sessions on tactics and weapon numbers and food stores. They would fight tomorrow.<p>

The king unbuckled Excalibur's sword belt and lay it against the table that had been set up, a table that was now free of plans and maps, and with one final glance to it, he unfastened his red cape with the Pendragon crest.

"How was your day, _dear_?" Merlin asked from the bed, a smile curling at his lips. He was stretched haphazardly across it, watching Arthur snap out of his thoughts with bright blue eyes.

"Gods, Merlin," Arthur said, a hand stretched towards Excalibur on the table, ready to pull on the defence. He hadn't known Merlin would be back. "I thought you were with Gwaine, figuring out your strategy for—"

"We no longer have a strategy," Merlin said. He reached for Arthur, who came to sit on the mattress in front of him all too willingly. "He's itching to fight."

Arthur sighed. "Merlin, you promised."

"I did no such thing," Merlin insisted, his voice high as he stuck his chin out a little in his defiance.

"I don't want you up there alone, Merlin!"

"I wouldn't be alone." Merlin rolled his eyes, stretching a hand up to wiggle his fingers in Arthur's face. "Well, I will, but not really."

"Your magic," Arthur said, trying to be patient as Merlin wiggled his fingers, "is not a person."

"It is too," Merlin answered petulantly. He twisted onto his side and gracefully slid off the bed. He pulled Arthur up. "Arms."

Arthur lifted his arms, and let Merlin undress him from the restraints of his chainmail. Merlin had not been his manservant for years, but this was familiar, and Arthur needed everything familiar he could lay his hands on right now. "You dismissed George," he said, unquestioning.

"Of course," Merlin replied, wrinkling his nose in his distaste for the man. "I bet he's ready to fling himself into the fire in fright of having nothing to do."

"He's a good man."

Merlin grunted as he set Arthur's chainmail against the side of Excalibur. "He asked me what the cloth said to the man made of brass earlier."

Arthur cocked an eyebrow. "Man made of brass?"

Merlin nodded his assent, working on the strings of Arthur's breeches now. "Mm."

"I think I've heard that one."

"Lucky you," Merlin drawled, letting Arthur kick his way out of his breeches. He lifted Arthur's shirt, his hands running along the planes of the king's chest longer than was strictly necessary, the way they did when Merlin was his manservant, long before any of _this_.

Arthur tried to find Merlin's eyes, but Merlin was distracted, folding Arthur's breeches and his shirt while Arthur stood in his undershirt he had dressed into for added warmth and his undershorts. It was nice, quiet like this, easy with the conversation flowing between them like it would in his chambers back in Camelot as it had been for years.

Arthur, of course, was the one to break it. "I don't want you up there."

"And I don't want you on the battle field leading your men to their death."

"I have to. I'm the king."

"And I'm the Court Sorcerer," Merlin said. "Your only magic user." He stood before Arthur, challenging him, the unsaid words _'probably your only hope'_ hanging between them. "I have to be there, just as much as you do."

"You will take Gwaine."

"No," Merlin said. "Gwaine wants to fight. He doesn't want to stand around where there will be no threat. He wants to fight, with you, and Leon, and Percival. Your knights. _Your _men. He's one of you. He'll be unbearable. I'll fling him off the cliff."

"Then I won't allow you to be up there. I'll send you home."

"Okay, then you are coming with me."

Arthur scoffed. "Absolutely not!"

Merlin smirked. "Then we've reached a moot point."

"But—"

"Come on. It's time to sleep."

"But—"

"Big day tomorrow," Merlin continued relentlessly. He grasped Arthur's fingers and pulled him over to the too-big bed. It was probably bigger than the one at home. Bigger, enough for Camelot's monarch, but cold and only easy for travel. They fell onto it with ease.

Merlin swung his leg over Arthur, sitting atop of him. He needed to get his words across, to get it into his prat's thick skull. "I know you're worried, but I've been protecting you for years. I can handle myself."

"I don't want you—"

Merlin covered his hand over Arthur's mouth. "Let me finish. You need to know, even if I have been saying the same speech for years already. No, Arthur, listen. If you go, I go. I won't be where you are not."

Arthur grabbed for the front of Merlin's shirt, yanking him down, pulling him so close that he effectively forced him to release his clamp over Arthur's face. He twisted his fingers into Merlin's, holding him in place. "But you won't be with me," he growled, his face inches from Merlin's.

"Oh, I will be."

Arthur frowned. His lips parted and then closed several times, trying to find the words, before his expression lifted and then became accusing. "You're planning something."

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies," Merlin said, and then he smiled a tiny wicked.

"I hate you."

"Well, I love you," Merlin said, and he closed the distance between them. The kiss was born on long association, very compatible, but desperate and unrelenting at the same time. It still said a thousand words, every day, several times over. Arthur wondered just how long they had been going on like this, and then found that he didn't really care. No amount of time would ever be enough. He only cared for the way Merlin was rocking into him and the way he was squeezing his hand.

"You promise," Arthur said through a gasp when they broke for air, bringing their entwined hands to his face.

"Promise what?"

"Just promise," he said against their hands before burying his face into the crook of Merlin's neck, who nosed into his blonde unkempt hair. He shifted and rolled so they fell onto their sides, as close as they always were, possessive and sweet.

"I'm more than capable. You'd think you'd be used to it after so long," the warlock mused to himself. "I promise."

"Good." Arthur kept his hold on Merlin. This was the vulnerability he only showed here, with him, because Merlin was the only certain thing in Arthur's life, who Arthur loved with his whole being.

"Now you promise."

"I don't need to promise," Arthur said, his fingers trailing patterns on Merlin's back. Not patterns. Secrets. Words. Words only for Merlin.

Merlin pulled back, and ran his finger along a dark shadow that lined the underneath of Arthur's eye. "You promise that you come back. You won't be reckless. You come back to me."

Arthur smiled. "I'll always come back. I promise."

* * *

><p>"It seems we have visitors."<p>

Richard turned around slowly, and Merlin and Arthur flinched slightly at the corruption of the other man's flesh. Most of it was missing, the rest black as if burnt, and his face was missing both cheeks, a permanent toothy smile stretching across his face. Arthur drew his sword and Merlin raised his hands, glowing a gentle red, ready for the upcoming fight. The chapel was more decorated than Merlin had expected. Tall roman style pillars rose to the top of the ceiling, and the windows were multicolored stained glass, picturing people Merlin didn't know. It seemed that the color in the chapel was preserved, when just outside the world was almost black.

Richard chuckled at the sight of Merlin and Arthur ready to fight.

"Do you really think a bunch of _kids _are going to kill me?" Richard laughed into the air. Dark tendrils of magic were emanating from his body; a thin dark purple aura surrounded him. Merlin made note, marking that line as the beginning of his 'unholy armor'.

"Did you like what I did to your mother, Merlin?" Richard asked. Merlin pupils became pinpricks and his face twitched.

"Did you like how I molded her skin? Her tits were too small for me, her cunt too dry. I think it was a great improvement."

"Merlin," Arthur muttered under his breath. "Merlin, do not fall for it."

"She was _such _a better _fuck _after her transformation. I would have her eat a child, right? And then use the kid's blood as—"

Merlin's magic propelled him towards Richard. His hands were ignited with flames, fists clenched. He soared to the top of the chapel and held out his hands, letting his magic roar through his flames. Ball after ball of fire collided with Richard's body and Arthur was knocked back from the waves of heat and wind that followed each collision.

"Ha ha ha. My turn."

Black jolts of electricity shot out from the smoke at Merlin. He was swift, dodging one, two three, four strikes. But upon recovering from his final dodge, he realized he was pinned against the corner of the ceiling. Arthur pulled a green crystal from his pocket and smashed it on the floor, its smoke rose and filled his nose, ears, and eyes. He felt it flow through his body, making him as light as a feather.

"Gotcha!"

Merlin closed his eyes at the impending strike, but opened them quickly when he felt Arthur directly in front of him. Arthur was holding his blade high, apparently having deflected the attack. Richard growled at Arthur's meddling.

"Cheeky little fuck," Richard gritted through his teeth.

Arthur looked over his shoulder.

"Ready?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded, and together they both rushed Richard.

Arthur was the first to laugh a swing. His arm was fast, but Richard was faster. Each swing of his sword was met with an equally elegant dodge. Arthur's sword swiped at Richard's head. He'd lean back and the blade would glaze just an inch over his skin. Arthur would swing up and Richard would flip backwards onto a wall. Merlin quickly joined the fight, at time's he would amplify the edge of Arthur's blade, at others he was adding his own physical attacks that we're magically enhanced. Together they danced, blow after blow was launched and evaded, Richard laughing at each close attempt.

Arthur took a few steps back and swung his blade fast, a blade of light launching from it. Richard began to jump but Merlin quickly made chains from the tile on the ground, holding him in place for a brief second. Richard crossed his arms over his face and the blade passed through him.

"Yes!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin dropped down from the air beside Arthur, standing proud in triumph.

But Richard shrugged the attack off. His shell was damaged slightly but black sludge quickly filled in the gaps, healing the invisible armor. Richard tapped his foot impatiently and licked his lips.

"I'm growing bored, boys! MY TURN!"Richard screamed.

Richard disappeared and then reappeared behind Arthur, he grabbed Arthur's left arm and twisted it behind him.

"Fun!"

Richard extended his leg and kicked Merlin in the chest, launching him into a pillar behind him. Merlin collided with a loud crack, and fractures split up its concrete texture.

"Merlin!" Arthur screamed, but he was quickly silenced by Richard's voice. His arm still being twisted behind him.

"Don't worry, you're next." Richard chuckled.

Arthur felt pulling and then screamed as he felt his shoulder dislocate from its socket. Richard picked his body up from that same arm and threw him across the room. He turned to Merlin.

Merlin weakly groaned against the hard tiled floor. He felt himself lifted.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked weakly, his eyes foggy from the impact.

"Not quite," Richard mocked. He placed his hand on Merlin's throat and held him against the pillar.

"You know what I'm going to do to you? You little shit!" Richard screamed. He began to pour his dark magic into Merlin. Black tendrils of hate and sin began to snake their way into Merlin's body, tugging on his soul, burning his skin. Richard licked the side of Merlin's face, smacking his lips. "I'm going to fucking _eat _you. Just like _every other fucking pig_ like you. Then... Then I'm going to move on, move on and _keep _eating, until I'm God. Do you under—"

"You killed my mother and my friends" Merlin struggled to say under Richard's grasp, his grip tight on Merlin's throat. "I'm not going to let you get away with it, you're g-going to die."

Richard laughed.

"And who is going to stop me?" Richard mocked.

"Me!"

Merlin felt Richard's grip loosened and he slid to the floor, coughing. Richard stumbled back and began to scream. Merlin's eyes cleared up and he could see a large silver blade protruding from Richard's stomach. Richard turned around to see Arthur, who was barely standing, laughing at him.

"Gotcha!" Arthur mocked again, a light laugh leaving his throat. His eyes connected with Merlin's and they shared a brief smile.

Richard pulled his hand back, twisting his flesh into a sharp blade. Arthur couldn't see—he was looking at Merlin.

"And I got you," Richard whispered.

"No!" Merlin screamed and held out his hand, sending a shield on its way… but he was too late. Richard's hand was imbedded deep in Arthur's stomach, the blade exiting out through his back.

Richard groaned and twisted his hand, shredding more of Arthur's insides. A trickle of blood dripped from Richard's arm, spilling onto the floor. Richard pulled his hand back and he staggered backwards and Arthur did the same with his hands clenched around the hole in his stomach, gentle whimpers leaving his lips. Arthur turned to Merlin and reached out, before he and Richard, both, fell to the floor.


	32. Chapter 32: Salvation

"Come here," Merlin murmured. He was sitting in the middle of the bed with outstretched arms, tired and worried as he watched Arthur pace his—_their_—chambers. When Arthur shook his head and stomped to the window in some sort of defiance, Merlin sighed. "Arthur, please."

Arthur turned away from the castle window with hard eyes, but his expression softened upon seeing Merlin's anxiety. "I can't—" he said, and then stopped, trying to find the right words. "I don't like being not to be able to do anything."

"I know," Merlin answered from the bed. He kept his arms out, beckoning Arthur into them. "I know."

Arthur started toward him, but then hesitated and span back. He drew the curtains shut, blocking out the light of the day, and then went to the bed, clambering gracelessly onto it. Merlin caught his face, stroked the pad of his thumb over his cheek, and smiled sadly.

"You tried."

"He wouldn't listen," Arthur said, feeling the need to explain himself a thousand times over. "Merlin, I did, I tried—"

"Shh. I know. Come on."

Merlin kissed his forehead and drew Arthur down to settle. He lay with his head in Merlin's lap, fidgety with the knowledge that he was not able to do anything except stand and watch and be comforted by Merlin. Loving, idiotic, annoyingly compassionate Merlin, who understood when Arthur didn't—when Arthur couldn't, who understood that he could do nothing as a prince without the power his father had, not until he sat upon the throne himself. He could do nothing to stop the slaughter of the Druids in the middle of the courtyard square, nothing as one by one they were beheaded and then were burnt in two pieces. He could do nothing to stop the Druid family in the courtyard watching as a relative was killed, knowing that they were next, that they could not be saved.

Merlin ran his hands through Arthur's hair, trying to keep him as close as possible, to let him know that he was there, that he knew, and that he understood.

"You should not be comforting me," Arthur said to the ceiling, but he made no effort to move.

"You are."

"Liar," Arthur accused. He sat up, still practically on Merlin's lap and shifted slightly to lock eyes with him. "Liar," he said again.

Merlin was unsuccessful in hiding his own feelings to save Arthur's. His face white with fear, and he probably would have curled into himself if it wasn't for the man beside him. Arthur knew. Merlin wanted to _protect _him, to_ comfort _him, when Merlin was the one needing the protection and the comfort and the reassurances.

"One day," Arthur began, tilting Merlin's head up with a finger under his chin, "I promise, we'll do more for them. We'll save everyone. You and I, together. Your people, your kin... None of you, I swear it, you won't have to live in fear." He was determined. Sure of himself. He loved his father, but he would not turn into the same tyrant. He would be fair, he would be just, and he would love and protect Camelot and everybody who lived there. His people, his knights... Merlin. Always Merlin.

Merlin tried for a scoff, but it came out as a strangled sound. "I don't live in fear."

"Liar," Arthur said again. "Thankfully you're a better sorcerer than you are liar."

Merlin chuckled weakly and closed his eyes, doing his best to replace the imagery of the Druids being slain with the serene image of Arthur before him. "Yes, thank the gods."

And then, just for a moment, his heart wasn't so cold, and the world's lining was not so black. The future he would create with Arthur would be brighter than today. They would fight. They would dare. They would _live._

* * *

><p>Merlin sprinted to Arthur's limp body. He slid against the ground and pulled Arthur onto his lap.<p>

"It's… It's alright, Merlin," Arthur weakly cooed. He raised his arm to caress Merlin's face. Merlin grabbed onto Arthur tightly, stroking his hair, his head gently resting on Merlin's thighs. Merlin was trying to tap into his magic, trying to find away to heal Arthur, but he was getting nothing. His concentration was broken by Arthur's weak voice.

"We did it, you know... We... We..." Arthur's hand fell but his eyes remained pinned to Merlin's face. Unmoving. Dead.

"No, no please! Not yet. Not—" Merlin screamed. He held tightly onto Arthur's head. It was warm but cold, the rigor of life siphoned by the whimsical sword of the afterlife. The high pitched ring of the monitor rang in his ears. Arthur's eyes were still open, pupils dilated, casting a dead stare deep into Merlin's own eyes. Merlin leaned his head in and kissed Arthur's forehead. He kissed from his forehead to his cheeks and then burred his head in Arthur's neck. He could feel Arthur's light stubble against his neck, and was flooded with memories of waking up next to him and cuddling against him, their cheeks rubbing against one another. The harsh scratching, it had made Merlin so hard in those early mornings.

"No, No, I can't let you go," Merlin cried softly. "I can't..." Merlin couldn't. Arthur was all he wanted, all he needed. He couldn't lose him again; lose everything – _the only thing _– he was trying to protect. Images of will flooded his mind but he quickly dismissed them. Will was great, but in the end, it was Arthur – only ever Arthur – that he wanted.

Merlin pulled his head back and looked down at his beautiful man. He lifted his head to the sky and sobbed quietly, his mind on the brink of giving up.

Arthur felt himself drifting into the darkness. It was getting harder to think, and no matter how hard he wanted to, he couldn't take a breath. It was madness, pure madness, this insanity running full speed against his senses. He knew he was dying, but he wasn't ready—

_I'm so sorry, Arthur._

Those words rang in Arthur's conscience and pushed him deeper into the black. Merlin's voice was the push he needed to fall deeper and farther than any man would willingly go. All of a sudden, it didn't hurt so bad, not being able to breathe, and the darkness wasn't as cold and mad as it once was. Merlin's voice was guiding him, guiding him towards the chaotic infrastructure of whatever was after, but more importantly, towards the _light._

He was on the brink of fading out. Merlin's voice was fading, becoming harder to hear. It was here, on the ledge of the unknown, where the final syllables of the man he loved reached him in full volume, deep in the void.

_I'll always love you. Always._

_"_And I, you," was Arthur's final thought, before finally letting himself plummet into the abyss; the spark of life finally leaving his fragile body.

Merlin clutched onto his lover as he bled out onto the broken tile floor. The aura of life quickly faded, but Merlin didn't let go. His tears dripped onto the man he loved.

"It takes more than a... a paper cut to kill me," Richard gritted out through his teeth.

Merlin turned in horror to see him rise from the ground, the wound Arthur had dealt him was still open and black tar was pouring from it. Richard laughed and he stood fully upright, his eyes black with darkness, he was pushing the magic of Excalibur back. He extended both of his hands and a small black orb grew inside them.

"I am going.. to _fucking kill you!"_ Richard screamed.

The black orb exploded into black threads of magic. Quickly they found their way to Merlin, circling him and trapping him. Richard's arms were extended outwards. His hands were a dark purple. He rapidly brought his hands together and the darkness consumed Merlin.

"Burn!" Richard cried, "Burn!"

_Not yet._

Merlin felt magic course through him, magic stronger than anything he had ever felt before. He felt it pulling him from Richard's magic, pulling further and further into the light.

_He can't kill us yet, can he?_

"_A-Arthur?"_

_With me. Merlin! With me! I don't have much time._

The black tide of sin broke from Merlin's body. Merlin could feel Arthur inside of him, his body being taken over by his spirit. Merlin's feet began to run, dexterity that wasn't his own traveled through his legs, moving him at breakneck speeds. Richard brought his hands up again, launching black bullets at Merlin.

_Like this!_

Arthur twisted Merlin's body mid run, elegantly dodging each and every orb Richard launched at them. Arthur pulled Merlin's hand down and together, they picked up Excalibur from Arthur's limp body. Richard continued his assault, rapidly firing black orbs from both his hands. Merlin and Arthur raced towards him, souls united in step.

"Gotcha!"

Merlin felt a sharp sting on his back as an orb had ricocheted off a wall and had hit him. He took a few staggered steps but he felt Arthur inside of him.

_Not yet Merlin, come on! Don't let up now!_

Merlin was in a full speed run again, leaping, dancing, twisting around Richard's barrage of unholy energy. Merlin was only a few meters from Richard now.

_Together! Merlin!_

Arthur and Merlin's spirits were in sync, moving fluidly together, synergistic, perfect. Together, they lifted their hands high, Excalibur in full mast. Richard could see now. On the brink of the end he could see why he had lost. Time had seemed to stop for him. Merlin was in front of him, body shimmering with gold sparks, the echo of Arthur's soul inside of him.

He saw what he lacked.

Merlin felt Arthur's hands with his own, his lips on Merlin's ear.

_I love you, too. _Arthur whispered into Merlin's mind and, together, they swung.

The blade cut through Richard's head, sliding through his body, splitting him in two. The light from the blade eclipsing the dark energy that poured from him. Merlin stepped back and watched as the light began to engulf Richard, his body disintegrating in front of his eyes, Richard's screams reverberating through the chapel walls. Lights, like the ones that radiated from Hunith and from Kilgharrah did not radiate from Richard, instead the light consumed him, and purged him of darkness, until his body was no more.

It was satisfying, it was wonderful, it was liberating. Merlin could feel the souls of those that were lost finally at rest, finally able to move on. Merlin's eyes turned back to Arthur's body. Lifeless, an eternal gaze imprinted on the sky. He staggered over to Arthur's body and fell on his knees. A sharp pain rang through his thighs as his kneecaps made contact with the first ground. He reached his hand out and gently stroked a blond lock away from Arthur's eyes.

_I have to go now._

Merlin turned around and saw Arthur; his spirit, an afterimage of his former self, was standing only feet from him. Merlin willed himself onto his feet and clumsily took a few steps until he was only inches from the transparent image.

Arthur's spirit lifted a hand and gently pressed it to Merlin's cheek, catching a tear.

_This isn't the end._

"But Arthur I—"

_Live your life Merlin. Live it full, for me, for Gwen, for Lance._

"No – Arthur—"

_For your mum, for Morgana._

"You can't leave me, please I—"

_Live it without regrets, live it without fear._

"_ARTHUR!_ Arthur! I—"

_And when it's done, I'll be waiting._

"Arthur! Please! I can't—"

But Arthur was gone.

_Gone._

And Merlin was alone, screaming into thin air.

* * *

><p>Merlin walked down the steep steps of the chapel. The color had returned to the world. People were going about their business in the streets, talking, laughing, and loving. Merlin had stopped walking. His eyes quickly looked over all of the lives he had saved, over all of the people who could wake up tomorrow and be able to live, truly live.<p>

Merlin sat down on the bottom step. He didn't cry. He couldn't. One of the suns was setting in the distance. Its bright yellow light became orange and then red in layers against the blue sky.

He could hear Arthur's voice in his head, asking him why the sky changed colors like that.

He could feel Arthur's head on his shoulder, his hand on his back, subconsciously rubbing circles in his shirt.

He could taste Arthur on his lips, the kiss that they hadn't shared, after Merlin had answered him, showing off as much of his intelligence as he could, being sure to explain how light had width and its width determined its color.

Merlin stood up, pulling himself from that final step. He turned around, the twilight reflecting off the chapel windows. Merlin's hand instinctively scratched the small of his back, where the binding tattoo was deeply imprinted.

_Goodbye, Arthur._

_Until we're together again._

* * *

><p>A few weeks later, Merlin walked up to the door of Nimueh's house where he had been staying. He had decided that the mortal world was not for him, and he was going to live out his days and help reconstruct The Fade, repair the damage that Richard had one. It was solemn, just getting used to the fact that he was alone in the world, destined to live his life out until finally, one day he could be with—<p>

"This isn't the end, you know."

Merlin turned around quickly. A tall man was standing just a few meters from him.

"Richard... Arthur... It's not over."

Merlin looked at him, his eyes wide and mouth open.

"Wh-what?" Merlin asked, dumbfounded.

"Richard is not dead yet, nor is Arthur."

"What are you going on about?" Merlin asked irritated. The other man said nothing. Merlin's hands became fists as he became angry. He quickly folded his arms over his chest. Who was this guy? "Seriously, what are—"

"Just _listen!" _The man yelled. "There isn't much time!"

Merlin shut up and unfolded his arms.

"In The Underworld, they wait. You must go to them; you must put an end to Richard once and for all, before he comes back."

"Comes back? What? Who are you?"

"I go by many names, but you may call me Castiel." The man turned around. "Make haste, young warlock." And he was gone in a flash, the space he took up leaving no remnants of his presence.

Nimueh opened the door, she poked her head out, confused.

"Merlin, dear, who are you talking to?"

Merlin shook his head and turned to Nimueh.

"What is _The Underworld _and... and how do I get there?"

Nimueh pursed her lips and ran her fingers through her hair. She looked concerned.

"I don't know how you found out about it, but it's not something to be taken lightly, it is _dangerous _magic, Merlin." Nimueh let out a deep sigh. Merlin walked up the steps to Nimueh where he rested a hand upon her shoulder.

"Please... I-I need to know." He stole her stare and pleaded his own, casting it deep into her eyes, but she turned away.

"I need... I need Arthur."

Nimueh shook her head before finally returning Merlin's gaze. She could see his conviction, his love, his loyalty, his trust, but most importantly, his magic. No one had ever survived going to The Underworld, but maybe, just maybe, Merlin could.

"Come inside, there is much to say and learn. But I warn you, this will _not _be easy."

Merlin nodded. Nimueh entered the house, but Merlin stopped right at the line of the door, stunned with memory of seeing Arthur at his own door step for the first time. He thought about how taken aback he had been. He thought about how mean Arthur had been at first. He thought about the first night they shared the same bed. He turned around and looked towards the sky, his eyes no longer hollow as they had been since Arthur's death.

_I'm coming for you, Arthur. _

_I'll be there soon._

_**to be continued**_

* * *

><p><em><em>**A/N: Thank you all so much for sticking with me through this crazy adventure of a fanfic. I love all of your comments/reviews and its really what pushed me to complete this fic. I can't wait to see what all of you have to say now that its finally finished! **

**There is a sequel begin made called The Now: Underworld. In addition I'll be working on two other companion fics called "The Before" and "The After", be sure to put me on your Author subscription list if you loved this fic, this one will be very similar (save for "The Before" is going to be a lot fluffier).**


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